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Muppet Show recruitment drive?


Spudders
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Them Bletch. Them.

 

Good qualification buctootim.

 

The forum seems to be out of kilter today.

 

"They" appear to have invaded all areas of the forum.

 

The contrarians, the ****-shakers, the Apple fans, the depressives and the terminally dull are showing their faces all over the place today. (And I count myself in their number).

 

But to top it all, The Man has replied to a post in the site suggestions forum.

 

It's all very disconcerting. I'm going to have a cup of tea.

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I think this recruitment drive may have gone badly wrong spudders.

 

I dunno tokes, I just dunno! I'm not really sure what the muppet show is about these days, I guess we only have ourselves to blame. It used to be a given that muppets was all just joking & fun, but then you get serious posters becoming more regular & next thing you dunno what's jokes and what's serials?

Like yesterday pap was in muppets accusing people of racism and homophobia! I lost track of who he was directing that at, what with you me and holepunctures messing about. Then that cracker pap comes along being all bent with his serious accusations, it's just not clear what's what now, I'm just glad bazza is back in the hood to detract from these serious allegations with his serious talk about most boring name & such!!

Edited by Spudders
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Nah pap isn't serious is he? Is he? I always think pap is just joking with all that stuff about buzl lightyear didn't really go to the moon or whatever. I thought this is some of the best wind up work on the net and give him reps for it. I like Pap cause of it. Pap can you confirm, are you genuinely mental or just on a jokey wind up?

 

And all this stuff, bletch word puzzle etc - he's talking about Baz right? We are all talking about Baz.

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Nah pap isn't serious is he? Is he? I always think pap is just joking with all that stuff about buzl lightyear didn't really go to the moon or whatever. I thought this is some of the best wind up work on the net and give him reps for it. I like Pap cause of it. Pap can you confirm, are you genuinely mental or just on a jokey wind up?

 

And all this stuff, bletch word puzzle etc - he's talking about Baz right? We are all talking about Baz.

 

I can't confirm that I'm not mental. Who am I to make that judgement? How safe is that judgement if I turn out to be mental? Would I even tell you the truth? The results could come in, read "100% F**king Hatstand", and I could just say "No, I'm fine Tokes - prone to a bit of multiple personality disorder on the second Thursday of every month, but apart from that, all good".

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I can't confirm that I'm not mental. Who am I to make that judgement? How safe is that judgement if I turn out to be mental? Would I even tell you the truth? The results could come in, read "100% F**king Hatstand", and I could just say "No, I'm fine Tokes - prone to a bit of multiple personality disorder on the second Thursday of every month, but apart from that, all good".

 

Ahh...Catch 22 pap.

 

Let's see if we can't come up with a test to check your Yossarianesque mentalness....

 

Hmmm. OK. If you had to ban one poster from TSW, who would it be?

 

And I know that you are against the banning of any poster, so for the purposes of this exercise you have to ban someone.

 

Given your principled stance on free speech, there is only one valid answer that will prove your sanity.

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Careful pap, Norway is watching and will forever name you a banning weasel. On the other hand, this is like big brother, I'm in. I vote bear and Baz. I think Baz is missing his family and would like to return home, bear cause he is a ****.

Edited by Tokyo-Saint
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Careful pap, Norway is watching and will forever name you a banning weasel. On the other hand, this is like big brother, I'm in. I vote bear and Baz. I think Baz is missing his family and would to return home, bear cause he is a ****.

 

With all the respect that a post like that deserves Toke, the pap I know and love* is a deeper thinker than you.

 

Then again, ocean sponges have a higher density of synapses than you appear** to have on this site.

 

So I think pap will understand what the question is looking for.

 

* Forum love

** I'm sure you aren't like your forum persona in real life Toke - otherwise you'd not be able to lift a spoon to your mouth in the real world***.

*** No offence****

**** Well a little bit

Edited by saintbletch
More caveats to avoid offence
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Ahh...Catch 22 pap.

 

Let's see if we can't come up with a test to check your Yossarianesque mentalness....

 

Hmmm. OK. If you had to ban one poster from TSW, who would it be?

 

And I know that you are against the banning of any poster, so for the purposes of this exercise you have to ban someone.

 

Given your principled stance on free speech, there is only one valid answer that will prove your sanity.

 

Aw bletch, that's a simple answer, we all know it's Granty that should be banned...

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I'd have to ban myself, bletch.

 

While there are others that are perhaps more deserving, I do have a spare fiver tucked away for this very purpose. I believe the nickname "Son of Pap" is still available.

 

You're completely hatstand then pap.

 

The correct answer of course is Barry Sanchez.

 

Sorry mate.

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Aw bletch, that's a simple answer, we all know it's Granty that should be banned...

 

That answer deserves an honourable mention in despatches 3B.

 

I wonder what it would be like to have the lunatics take over the asylum without The Man and his minions around to dispense the meds and tighten the odd straight-jacket...

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That answer deserves an honourable mention in despatches 3B.

 

I wonder what it would be like to have the lunatics take over the asylum without The Man and his minions around to dispense the meds and tighten the odd straight-jacket...

 

Do we get the keys to the drugs cabinet?

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Too Late! I change my vote. Bear, BFFF 4eva, you are in muthafuka. Bletch, get your coat, you are going on a little trip with Barry. Just you, Barry and a Jim Davidson boxset on the trans siberian (not so) express. See you in Ulan-Ude.

 

Does the Jim Davidson box set include his early material where he used to do impressions of "ethnic people"?

 

If so, it could be worse.

 

I like train journeys and will have brutally murdered Barry Sanchez by Portsmouth Harbour station and disposed of his body in Portsmouth harbour - there's a certain moral symmetry to that watery grave, don't you think? I'll then post the news of his passing on here to the cheers of the masses.

 

Then, I'll kick-back and listen to Jimmy D tell jokes about black people alternatively appearing and disappearing whilst walking across pelican crossings whilst singing "Now you see me, now you don't.". All done with the most authentic "ethnic" accent possible.

 

Who could ever tire of that, Toke?

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~Dunno bletch, it's Barry's box set, save those questions for the journey.

 

I don;t want to spoil the surprise but I do have it on good grounds that Baz is bringing a wig along to aid with his 5 hour tribute cabaret to Mavis Rilley and the cast of 80's Coronation Street.

 

There is even a half hour section for Benny from Cross Roads, it doesn't quite fit but then Baz is an artist and requires a degree of freedom in his work.

Edited by Tokyo-Saint
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Does the Jim Davidson box set include his early material where he used to do impressions of "ethnic people"?

 

when my nan died (of unrelated causes) & we was round her house stealing her belongings i took record player + my grandad's old records. There was one by Jim Davidson called "You Won't be BLUE Will You?". It was pretty bad stuff! It started with him singing a song bout saying Gurcha which was ok, then he told some lame jokes which was ok, then he started telling a story bout a friend of his called "Chalky"

 

DAVIDSON (doing black voice): Hello dere! My name is Chalky i is negro from africa and ting! (I'm paraphrase, I can't remember exact words)

AUDIENCE: Lols

DAVIDSON: Oh hold on... have we got any in?

AUDIENCE: Lols

DAVIDSON: Come on... show yourselves... smile!

AUDIENCE: Lols

DAVIDSON (black voice): Dere is one! Haha! Dere is another one!

AUDIENCE: Lols

DAVIDSON: It's alright for you lot, I'm gonna get blow dart in the neck in a minute!

 

As I say it was pretty bad stuff! There was another one where Jim Davidson was having an altercation with police bout a traffic light or something, and Jim Davidson observes that the police officer was black and then he says, no lies, "Cos you get them now don't you... Coonstables." I was like Ooooo, but audience is find this hilarious!

 

EDIT - RIP to my dear old racist nan who died (of unrelated causes)

Edited by Bearsy
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yeah tokyos some of the ole family heirlooms cause embarrassment when i have the brothers round for cocktail evening.

 

I was amazed bout the stuff Jim Davidson was saying tho! It wasn't all that long ago really, it was like in the 70s or something & he was totally mainstream, like the 70s Harry Hill or something.

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Later than that bear, I remember him in the late 80's early 90's. He was even on Hell's Kitchen just a few years ago. I think he got thrown off though for being more of a cock that Gordon Ramsey. The producers have very strict rules about Gordon being the biggest helmet on the program.

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yeah tokyos some of the ole family heirlooms cause embarrassment when i have the brothers round for cocktail evening.

 

I was amazed bout the stuff Jim Davidson was saying tho! It wasn't all that long ago really, it was like in the 70s or something & he was totally mainstream, like the 70s Harry Hill or something.

 

A lot of those people are still around, Bear. Some are dead though.

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I'm depressed.

 

It's 7pm already and no fitteh's have knocked on my door asking if I want a trick or just a treat.

 

Actually, nobody has knocked on my door today.

 

Perhaps I shouldn't have put that picture of Bear's Gran's house up there

 

i jizzed on catwoman last halloween. Srsly. You have to go out tho, the halloween fiteh's that come round ur house delivering boners in this country tend to be under 12 and often accompanied by parent or guardian, making all the carefully prepared roofie lollipops redundant. :(

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Pics or it didn't happen.

 

Anyone see that revenge thing going about? This guy was bullied in school so when he got older he pulled the mum of the bully. He took pick of her sucking him off and then a jizz face. What's the rules on posting jizz faces mods? No knobs or porn just an older lady with jizz face. Is this ok? If no reply in 5 mins, I'll take it as a yes and post pic. This is fair innt it?

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Pics or it didn't happen.

 

Anyone see that revenge thing going about? This guy was bullied in school so when he got older he pulled the mum of the bully. He took pick of her sucking him off and then a jizz face. What's the rules on posting jizz faces mods? No knobs or porn just an older lady with jizz face. Is this ok? If no reply in 5 mins, I'll take it as a yes and post pic. This is fair innt it?

 

OMG, that's almost disgusting, depends on how old was mum of bully and was she wrinkly? If she was some fitteh GMILF then that's OK, don't want any of those that advertise on redtube though

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Might be a little hardcore for MLG as no stats or stadium expansion and I guess he is still getting used to TMS. However, Steve just tweeted me giving me permission to post the NON PORN revenge photo. MLG don't pretend this wouldn't cross your mind if you somehow met mrs Turks senior and she was really into data.

 

RevengeLAD_0.jpg

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What's the rules on posting jizz faces mods? No knobs or porn just an older lady with jizz face. Is this ok? If no reply in 5 mins, I'll take it as a yes and post pic. This is fair innt it?

 

All seems to be safe then. Heres one from my bukkake picnic stash.

 

WA2318570.jpg

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man_or_woman_1.jpg

man_or_woman_2.jpg

 

You have to sex one of these birds, but warning! The trick is one of them is dude! Which one is you bone?

 

I'd start bottom left, then top right, top left and finally finish off with the bloke bottom right. Given my old git status it could take a week or so.

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In point of fact, before all of you come out closet, while it's just Tim & Bob who we already knew about, all four of them is dudes. These are contestants from Miss Thailand Ladyboy contest 2013, which I was unfortunate unable to attend cos my nan died (of unrelated issues)

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Can't we just cuddle?

 

You didn't ask for the treat. You've made your bed (lady boy roulette) now lie in it (bone one of them).

 

 

Ok, as it is your first day, let's change it. You have to pick one for me to bone, one for bearsy and one for big Bob. You can cuddle with the one left over.

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In point of fact, before all of you come out closet, while it's just Tim & Bob who we already knew about, all four of them is dudes. These are contestants from Miss Thailand Ladyboy contest 2013, which I was unfortunate unable to attend cos my nan died (of unrelated issues)

 

Why is bottom left staying in a different hotel. Is she 'fectious?

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