The Official Unofficial Glastonbury 2014 thread.

[KelvinsRightGlove]

So come on then Pap.

 

Metallica prep time. What should I be listening to?

[dubai_phil]

So come on then Pap.

 

Metallica prep time. What should I be listening to?

 

Black Sabbath?

[KelvinsRightGlove]

Black Sabbath?

 

Helpful

[KelvinsRightGlove]

Yup, that's probably the worst line-up since i've been going (2007-present). Still an incredible weekend though, and there's enough bands on there to make it a great festival - can't anticipate a lot of clashes for me though..

 

PS: Glastonbury clashfinder has been updated with some provisional times to give us an idea of how things are going to pan out over the main stages:

 

http://clashfinder.com/s/g2014/

 

My Friday and Saturday evenings will be spent at the Pyramid and actually looking forward to Sunday too - Wailers, Bonobo, and Disclosure one after the other!

 

Cheers for the link.

 

Despite there not being loads I love, I still seem to have some annoying clashes.

 

Was really hoping to see Mogwai, but I can't see me missing Metallica for them.

 

Bombay Bicycle & St Vincent is a bummer too.

 

Oh FFS Wailers & Black Keys.

 

Hopefully it will shuffle around a little bit

Edited 13 May, 2014 by KelvinsRightGlove

[swannymere]

So come on then Pap.

 

Metallica prep time. What should I be listening to?

 

The classic album would be the Black Album.

[pap]

So come on then Pap.

 

Metallica prep time. What should I be listening to?

 

You probably won't go too far wrong with this.

 

https://play.spotify.com/user/paplord/playlist/6IeOG69LNqNscRTax0VbgL?play=true&utm_source=open.spotify.com&utm_medium=open

[KelvinsRightGlove]

You probably won't go too far wrong with this.

 

https://play.spotify.com/user/paplord/playlist/6IeOG69LNqNscRTax0VbgL?play=true&utm_source=open.spotify.com&utm_medium=open

 

ta

 

[pap]

Got an email from camper van company. Give us 1250UKP by tomorrow! Booked the van over the phone; no-one gave me any inkling that the account would need to be settled around now; I'm very good with this sort of thing and pay things on time. Glastonbury itself had a deadline, which I observed. Whatever, it's unreasonable for anyone to email you on Monday and ask for over a grand by Tuesday, saying you'll lose your non-refundable £250 deposit as a result. The lady on the phone sounded particularly pleased at this point - her second-highest smug point of the day (the highest was her announcing that she ran her own business, big woop).

 

Unfortunately for her, things got worse after that. First, I sent her my articles on Europcar (still my highest read blog pieces of all time), then I schooled her on how distance-selling works, before announcing that she'd be charged for my time thereafter.

 

All the dosh was refunded within an hour.

 

As a parting shot, she wished me the best of luck in sourcing a new Glastonbury motorhome. Her final fail of the afternoon was the fact that I did.

 

Be wary (and lairy), festival goers

[KelvinsRightGlove]

Got an email from camper van company. Give us 1250UKP by tomorrow! Booked the van over the phone; no-one gave me any inkling that the account would need to be settled around now; I'm very good with this sort of thing and pay things on time. Glastonbury itself had a deadline, which I observed. Whatever, it's unreasonable for anyone to email you on Monday and ask for over a grand by Tuesday, saying you'll lose your non-refundable £250 deposit as a result. The lady on the phone sounded particularly pleased at this point - her second-highest smug point of the day (the highest was her announcing that she ran her own business, big woop).

 

Unfortunately for her, things got worse after that. First, I sent her my articles on Europcar (still my highest read blog pieces of all time), then I schooled her on how distance-selling works, before announcing that she'd be charged for my time thereafter.

 

All the dosh was refunded within an hour.

 

As a parting shot, she wished me the best of luck in sourcing a new Glastonbury motorhome. Her final fail of the afternoon was the fact that I did.

 

Be wary (and lairy), festival goers

 

Fight the power Pap!

[pap]

Fight the power Pap!

 

I'd rather take it back, yo

[dubai_phil]

Woot! So TSW does have another Glamper then.

 

Only way to go Papster especially as you're a Virgin. Just have to cope with the 2 mile walk into the site each day.

 

So big tips - 1) Wake up early - the Portaloos are Sooooooo much better for an emptying of the innards before 9am and WAY beyond compare to the metal tanks in Glasto.

2) Yes, they did search the Vans each time I have been - but ONLY for Glass & Bottles.

3) No matter what the saving in fuel, fill up with water BEFORE you get to the site - either at a Gas Station or before leaving home. Queueing for 2 hours to use a dodgy hose in a field to fill up is a mare

4) DON'T poo in the Camper Van Loo.

5) You'll have enough water to have ONE shower. Make it count

6) Take a Transistor Radio to listen to Worthy FM over your full English each morning. You'll need every bit of battery juice to charge your mobile devices each night

7) Rental? Take an extra Gas Canister

Taking mates & not just the missus? Then put a tent up for them & let them sleep off their weird substances/Cider alone

 

 

Other REALLY important thing to take to Glasto? (Besides lots of Goretex & OBLIGATORY Wellies) - A QUALITY Camping Chair. Trust me the "Sit on the grass" idea lasted 6 hours on the Thursday the first year I went. After that it cost me a fortune to buy ****ty chairs that looked like Alps had sat in them after 10 mins. (Oh and one with holes in the seat is highly useful because it WILL rain

[KelvinsRightGlove]

Woot! So TSW does have another Glamper then.

 

Only way to go Papster especially as you're a Virgin. Just have to cope with the 2 mile walk into the site each day.

 

So big tips - 1) Wake up early - the Portaloos are Sooooooo much better for an emptying of the innards before 9am and WAY beyond compare to the metal tanks in Glasto.

2) Yes, they did search the Vans each time I have been - but ONLY for Glass & Bottles.

3) No matter what the saving in fuel, fill up with water BEFORE you get to the site - either at a Gas Station or before leaving home. Queueing for 2 hours to use a dodgy hose in a field to fill up is a mare

4) DON'T poo in the Camper Van Loo.

5) You'll have enough water to have ONE shower. Make it count

6) Take a Transistor Radio to listen to Worthy FM over your full English each morning. You'll need every bit of battery juice to charge your mobile devices each night

7) Rental? Take an extra Gas Canister

Taking mates & not just the missus? Then put a tent up for them & let them sleep off their weird substances/Cider alone

 

 

Other REALLY important thing to take to Glasto? (Besides lots of Goretex & OBLIGATORY Wellies) - A QUALITY Camping Chair. Trust me the "Sit on the grass" idea lasted 6 hours on the Thursday the first year I went. After that it cost me a fortune to buy ****ty chairs that looked like Alps had sat in them after 10 mins. (Oh and one with holes in the seat is highly useful because it WILL rain

 

You happy with yourself, Pap? This is the way you'll be doing Glasto.

 

[swannymere]

So big tips - 1) Wake up early - the Portaloos are Sooooooo much better for an emptying of the innards before 9am and WAY beyond compare to the metal tanks in Glasto.

 

Wrong, Wrong, Wrong! Always use the portaloos just before you go to bed, they will be cold and won't smell! If you use them when you wake up you'll most likely have to queue and they will have started warming up and smelling. Also you can never have enough wet wipes!

[pap]

Woot! So TSW does have another Glamper then.

 

Only way to go Papster especially as you're a Virgin. Just have to cope with the 2 mile walk into the site each day.

 

So big tips - 1) Wake up early - the Portaloos are Sooooooo much better for an emptying of the innards before 9am and WAY beyond compare to the metal tanks in Glasto.

2) Yes, they did search the Vans each time I have been - but ONLY for Glass & Bottles.

3) No matter what the saving in fuel, fill up with water BEFORE you get to the site - either at a Gas Station or before leaving home. Queueing for 2 hours to use a dodgy hose in a field to fill up is a mare

4) DON'T poo in the Camper Van Loo.

5) You'll have enough water to have ONE shower. Make it count

6) Take a Transistor Radio to listen to Worthy FM over your full English each morning. You'll need every bit of battery juice to charge your mobile devices each night

7) Rental? Take an extra Gas Canister

Taking mates & not just the missus? Then put a tent up for them & let them sleep off their weird substances/Cider alone

 

 

Other REALLY important thing to take to Glasto? (Besides lots of Goretex & OBLIGATORY Wellies) - A QUALITY Camping Chair. Trust me the "Sit on the grass" idea lasted 6 hours on the Thursday the first year I went. After that it cost me a fortune to buy ****ty chairs that looked like Alps had sat in them after 10 mins. (Oh and one with holes in the seat is highly useful because it WILL rain

 

Thanks for the sage advice. Number 8 sounds like there is a harrowing story behind it.

 

 

You happy with yourself, Pap? This is the way you'll be doing Glasto.

 

 

Quite.

 

Whenever tents come up, I'm reminded of Charlie Brooker's TV Go Home holiday special.

 

"You'll regret going camping the moment you arrive!"

[KelvinsRightGlove]

I thought you were cool Pap.

[The Cat]

I think this page sums up why I don't go to Glastonbury. Camper vans? Instructions on how to get water? What happened to bumbling around a far flung field at 4am, lost and alone on mushrooms, not having eaten for 30 hours before falling asleep in the cinema tent using a random female crusties legs as a pillow?

[KelvinsRightGlove]

I think this page sums up why I don't go to Glastonbury. Camper vans? Instructions on how to get water? What happened to bumbling around a far flung field at 4am, lost and alone on mushrooms, not having eaten for 30 hours before falling asleep in the cinema tent using a random female crusties legs as a pillow?

 

That'll be happening.

[dubai_phil]

After the glamping debate (some of us are getting REALLY old Cat!)

 

Here is the final official line up

 

http://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/line-up/line-up-2014/

 

Get planning!

[dubai_phil]

I think this page sums up why I don't go to Glastonbury. Camper vans? Instructions on how to get water? What happened to bumbling around a far flung field at 4am, lost and alone on mushrooms, not having eaten for 30 hours before falling asleep in the cinema tent using a random female crusties legs as a pillow?

 

Also to be fair one COULD critique the Free Wifi & 4G connectivity they will have this year, plus the option of buying a Phone bar charger for 20 quid that you can then swap for a fully charged one at the on-site store.....

[pap]

After the glamping debate (some of us are getting REALLY old Cat!)

 

Here is the final official line up

 

http://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/line-up/line-up-2014/

 

Get planning!

 

Nice. Which gigs have you targeted for milf potential?

[dubai_phil]

Nice. Which gigs have you targeted for milf potential?

 

None. I'm taking the wife FFS. Think you should ask the Bear for help (Just don't listen to any advice in the subject from Toke's or you'll end up at the Clapham Dogging Society AGM or whatever.

 

IF you're really into Milf's then I'll send you a link to the 1D concert ticket site here in Dubai in April. From the complaints in the press this week the place will be rammed with them

 

Still, guess lots of Milfs would be looking after their young 'uns at Jake Bugg and probably watching Paolo Nutini.

 

Randomly 3 years ago at Foster the People in John Peel a bunch of lasses were squelching towards the tent when one fiteh slipped and squished to her knees right in front of me. Her pals cracked up and (amazingly for me) I instantly managed to come out with - Oh. While you're down there....

 

All her pals then gave her about 2 minutes of GET ON WITH IT WOMAN - SHOW HIM YER TITS. It was a legendary moment, even my Missus was so busy PMSL'ing she forgot to give me a black eye.

 

So anyway that is the main reason FtP are on my list this year!

[SuperMikey]

Really looking forward to seeing this lot now, first heard them on a compilation CD that came with NME years ago and started listening again when I saw them on the lineup.

 

 

PS: I agree with Swanny's tips about using the portaloos later in the evening or when it's cooler - nothing worse than the smell of a warmed-up portaloo! You just have to be mindful about what may be lurking on the floor/seat/walls/ceiling (honestly, i've seen sh!t on the ceiling in several before).

[pap]

None. I'm taking the wife FFS. Think you should ask the Bear for help (Just don't listen to any advice in the subject from Toke's or you'll end up at the Clapham Dogging Society AGM or whatever.

 

IF you're really into Milf's then I'll send you a link to the 1D concert ticket site here in Dubai in April. From the complaints in the press this week the place will be rammed with them

 

Still, guess lots of Milfs would be looking after their young 'uns at Jake Bugg and probably watching Paolo Nutini.

 

Randomly 3 years ago at Foster the People in John Peel a bunch of lasses were squelching towards the tent when one fiteh slipped and squished to her knees right in front of me. Her pals cracked up and (amazingly for me) I instantly managed to come out with - Oh. While you're down there....

 

All her pals then gave her about 2 minutes of GET ON WITH IT WOMAN - SHOW HIM YER TITS. It was a legendary moment, even my Missus was so busy PMSL'ing she forgot to give me a black eye.

 

So anyway that is the main reason FtP are on my list this year!

 

Sorry it's taken me so long to respond to your posts, Phil. They're very entertaining, but take a while to unpick.

 

I've been looking at the full line-up, and apart from following the sound advice you've provided so far, I'm really making no plans in terms of what I'm doing anymore. There is a dizzying array of stuff going on. It'll stress me out too much to choose, although one big condundrum is Arcade Fire vs Kaiser Chiefs.

 

Have you seen the 1D fans ripping their tickets up because 2 of the band mates filmed themselves smoking weed?

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2641403/One-Direction-joint-video-upsets-fans-rip-tickets-demand-apology.html

 

Bang goes the US touring career, lads!

 

I liked the story about you potentially getting a nosh, but am disappointed with your closing skills.

[dubai_phil]

Apparently hashtag 1D is trending quite well.

 

Dammit after that Video & knowing they may be real lads after all I may get a ticket to see them here in April!

 

Seen Kaiser Chiefs here at Sandance in the "Unkown Brit Bands" slot. They just finished I Predict a Riot & I was heading to the bar for a refill to the side of the stage. I see a commotion in the crowd see some geezer in a white vest being chased by Security & the normal "Oh more trouble" thought goes through my mind. I look up at the TV screen to see - Myself.... I'm like WTF - Geezer is running straight at me and Hi 5's me..... Then jumps up on the bar, turns around and starts Singing.

 

To about 6 of us who have now been hemmed in by Security. He's on the bar singing, He's Pouring Tequilla down his and our necks, passing out jugs of Long Island Iced Tea and ALL I have is a 7 year old Nokia as my HTC had gone in to get fixed.

 

I get back after the song with the beer and Mrs D_P just says, meh whatever, always bloody you isn't it...

 

Convoluted way of saying they are great live even if some of their music gets a bit meh. BUT they tour every 12 months or so and you'll get loads of chances to see them. The John Peel tent will be rammed..

 

Anyways our tickets arrived in UK today Woo Hoo! Just over 2 weeks until we set off on our way!

[tombletomble]

Tickets arrived today! I am so excited.

 

Also, whilst looking at the line up again I saw that Aphex Twin is doing a DJ set on Friday. It's going to be a very good weekend.

[KelvinsRightGlove]

So, we doing a meet up lads?

[KelvinsRightGlove]

Sorry, ladettes also.

[pap]

I've got the email to say that they're on the way. They haven't arrived just yet, though.

 

Meetups? Sure. From the sounds of it, the rest of the clan are going to fk off and do stupid things that ought to be illegal (like listening to Ed Sheeran). DP and I definitely look to be in the same neck of the woods anyway.

[SuperMikey]

Yeah, why not. I finally get to apologise to Pap for insulting his missus at Wigan last year anyway

[KelvinsRightGlove]

I've got the email to say that they're on the way. They haven't arrived just yet, though.

 

Meetups? Sure. From the sounds of it, the rest of the clan are going to fk off and do stupid things that ought to be illegal (like listening to Ed Sheeran). DP and I definitely look to be in the same neck of the woods anyway.

 

Let 'em crack on. We'll get down to the serious business of things that actually are illegal, but shouldn't be. Some sort of karmic balancing there, surely?

[tombletomble]

So, who are you guys looking forward to seeing.

 

Friday is going to be a good day. Deltron 3030 and then DeLa Soul. Arcade Fire in the evening. Then Aphex Twin. On Sat I'm not too fussed about Metalica so am going to watch Mogwai. Also, the Pixies are sat too.

 

On Sunday I will probably go and see Massive Attack. Not really sure who else.

 

Also, I'm not sure which acts I will go to but definitely want to see something at Arcadia just because it's such an awesome stage.

[dubai_phil]

So, we doing a meet up lads?

 

Has to be at the Cider Bus or Brothers Cider Bar at the other stage.

 

My shout would be before Metallica or to have an early session one lunchtime (nah belay that want to go to one of the weird all night things at least once on this trip!)

 

Need to have that confirmed befere 12th June as I'll need to pack my last season's away Dubai Saints shirt...

 

On second thoughts may not want to be seen in public wearing the colours ever again...

[pap]

Tickets arrived this morning.

 

We're in Blue East campervan park.

[dubai_phil]

Tickets arrived this morning.

 

We're in Blue East campervan park.

 

Don't you DARE be noisy neighbours

[SuperMikey]

Brother's Bar is at West Holts Stage DP FFS.

[dubai_phil]

Brother's Bar is at West Holts Stage DP FFS.

 

Yeh I knew that.........

 

Just I had to look up some pics of last time I was there and only just realized #canneverrememberathingaboutglasto

[dubai_phil]

Only 7 days left before we are on our way! Woo Hoo.

 

Big shout out to TSW Member Foxy for pre-positioning all our Waterproofs & Warm Weather kit in the UK for us by taking a Suitcase back last week.

 

What are everyone else's "Anybody EXCEPT Kasabian" plans for Sunday night?

[KelvinsRightGlove]

Nearly farm time yo!

 

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/kasabian-album-title-references-fans-iq-range-2014061687673

[pap]

Don't you DARE be noisy neighbours

 

I was thinking more along the lines of establishing a mini version of Westeros in the camperpark. Banners, sigils, despicable stuff happening under protection of guest rights. That sort of thing.

[KelvinsRightGlove]

Pretty up for this

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtaxKNaEAns&feature=kp

[pap]

Pretty up for this

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtaxKNaEAns&feature=kp

 

I caught them not long afterwards on their 1990 tour. Saw them again at Donington in 1991.

 

Creeping Death is ace too. This is a particularly thrashy rendition.

 

"Die! By my hand! I creep across the land"

 

My kids don't believe me when I tell them its a bible song.

[KelvinsRightGlove]

I caught them not long afterwards on their 1990 tour. Saw them again at Donington in 1991.

 

Creeping Death is ace too. This is a particularly thrashy rendition.

 

"Die! By my hand! I creep across the land"

 

My kids don't believe me when I tell them its a bible song.

 

Haha, I can understand why they wouldn't!

 

I've had to cheat a bit, and look up recent set lists to try and narrow down my listening prep. They've got just too much stuff to cram!

 

I'm not going to know it all, but still think I'll know enough to have a good time. I'm excited though, it's going to be very different, never really seen a band like Metallica before. Still don't really know what to expect from them at Glasto.

 

Finally ordered a tent yesterday. Office chat with fellow attendees is starting to irk people now. I'm just too effing excited already! Between Glasto & 3 football matches on terrestrial TV a day I'm just loving life at the moment.

[dubai_phil]

Good practice today putting tent up in a Thunderstorm ankle deep in mud here in South of France.

Can't wait for nxt week

[pap]

Haha, I can understand why they wouldn't!

 

I've had to cheat a bit, and look up recent set lists to try and narrow down my listening prep. They've got just too much stuff to cram!

 

I'm not going to know it all, but still think I'll know enough to have a good time. I'm excited though, it's going to be very different, never really seen a band like Metallica before. Still don't really know what to expect from them at Glasto.

 

Finally ordered a tent yesterday. Office chat with fellow attendees is starting to irk people now. I'm just too effing excited already! Between Glasto & 3 football matches on terrestrial TV a day I'm just loving life at the moment.

 

The setlist should see you right. I'm very interested to see how they go down. I suspect not as many will be as diligent as you, and will just know one or two of their songs. You should be able to get through most of it. It's mostly about repeat play and absorption. The haze will lift and it'll click. Just be glad you don't have to decode Lamb of God for this one

 

Good practice today putting tent up in a Thunderstorm ankle deep in mud here in South of France.

Can't wait for nxt week

 

I thought you were glamping, Phil.

 

Really looking forward to it too now; not just the music, but all the crazy pre-****. Just hoping that your thunderstorm practice is for another festival.

[swannymere]

Going down this Friday to set up the caravan etc. i'll try and get some photos of what its like before the (you) punters turn up and ruin it I'm between the Pyramid hospitality areas and the Other Stage so will try and snap a few round there and also a new bits like Williams Green and the Toby Benn Tower etc.

[pap]

Really looking forward to this now. Seems weird that in a week's time, we'll be zooming off.

 

It's a big deal for our little clan; it'll be the last big thing we all do before Juvenile Unit #1 buggers off to Uni.

 

Wellies should be arriving today. I hope we don't need them.

 

btw, ms pap is starting to get nervous on account of the general lack of cleanliness

[KelvinsRightGlove]

Really looking forward to this now. Seems weird that in a week's time, we'll be zooming off.

 

It's a big deal for our little clan; it'll be the last big thing we all do before Juvenile Unit #1 buggers off to Uni.

 

Wellies should be arriving today. I hope we don't need them.

 

btw, ms pap is starting to get nervous on account of the general lack of cleanliness

 

She'll be fine once she gets there and is a little bit mucky. You stop caring.

 

Glasto is also far cleaner than some of the other festivals I've been to. I read something about how they've spent like £600k getting stench-free portaloos ready.

 

 

PS. re: Metallica, I'm struggling getting my head around listening to a band for 20 minutes and still only being on their 3rd song. It's quite the adjustment for this little indie kid used to 3 minute bursts!

[pap]

Here's one for you, KRG.

 

How easy is it to stay on another site? The 18 year old is likely to want to kip with her mates in the camp site. We're over in the campervan place.

[swannymere]

Here's one for you, KRG.

 

How easy is it to stay on another site? The 18 year old is likely to want to kip with her mates in the camp site. We're over in the campervan place.

 

Which campsite? The festival site covers 1200 acres. To go to the campervan area (Outside the main fence, nearest stage is the Acoustic Stage) you probably need a special wristband to get in and out, only backstage and behind vendors setups are off limits everything else is accessible but a bloody long walk if her friends are camped on the other side of the site.

Here's a link to a site map, the E areas on the right hand side of the map is for campervans and caravans whilst all the camping is on the left hand side of the map, as i said a bloody long walk, most of it would be OK but if her friends decide to camp up near The Park its a very long (45mins minimum) walk.

 

Glastonbury 2014 site map

[KelvinsRightGlove]

Here's one for you, KRG.

 

How easy is it to stay on another site? The 18 year old is likely to want to kip with her mates in the camp site. We're over in the campervan place.

 

Sorry mate, I'm not much help. I've never stayed in or even been to the campervan site so I have absolutely no idea.