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Microwave for one

pap

By pap
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pap

pap

Posted
Posted

Inspired by Jeff Le Taxi's threads, but not really wanting to wreck his latest Saints-related one with the efficiency of a Bear at a sex picnic, I am placing the following item for sale.

 

51GV137M%2BFL._SL500_.jpg

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Microwave-One-Sonia-Allison/dp/1852250437

 

You can buy this book for £0.01p + £2.81 p&p from this page, or you could buy mine, attractively priced at £80.00 + £2.81. It's one of several - I have the largest private collection in the world, ranging from new to one that looks like it has actually been microwaved. Unfortunately, all cooking instructions refer to 600W microwaves, and it's only really small ones that splutter out that kind of power these days.

 

Anyway, take a look.

pap

pap

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Jeff can't have much left to sell by now. He must be living in a near on empty house and I bet that is on zoopla

 

I would rather the thread be spent discussing the bargainous merits of my fantastically overpriced book, tyvm.

pap

pap

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I'll give you 50p and a packet of monster munch.

 

I've got to keep the global value of Microwave for One high, KRG.

 

It's bad enough my competitors on Amazon selling this book for a £0.01. They will be dealt with, believe me. The sooner you stop sending derisory and insulting offers my way, I can get on with it.

pap

pap

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Certainly, Bear. I pride myself on a level of customer service that my £0.01 fly-by-night "competitors" cannot possibly achieve. I am like the Apple of Microwave For One. I have to be careful though. Sonia Allison's legal people are apparently on the ball.

 

mashedpotato.jpg

 

Check out the artfully placed stained microwave in the background. That's proper marketing.

pap

pap

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Don't do it Pap. It's just price Pikey after a free sample.

 

Too late! I deliberately only gave him one recipe though to whet the appetite.

pap

pap

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A dangerous game Pap, if you had put something decent up, he would have lived off that for ages. Luckily the page says 'vegetables' he won't look much past that.

 

The recipe for Very Plain Plaice is inspiring.

Bearsy

Bearsy

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Too late! I deliberately only gave him one recipe though to whet the appetite.

 

tks i am gonna try and prepare this delicious meal tonight! I have got microwave + water but I am short of some other equipment+ingredients, can you lend me the following items pls?

  • potatoes
  • salt
  • butter or margarine
  • milk
  • potato peeler
  • cling wrap
  • mashing tool

Bearsy

Bearsy

Posted
Posted

in other news me+pap is microwave brothers! I see you also have same problem as me that the glass front always looks v.smeary + uncool. I am accepting tips on this! I have tried cleaning+polish+windowlene but it is always v.smears!

Bearsy

Bearsy

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ok but i will get hypo to check prices first cos i think he caught jeff before selling stuff at massive mark up. I don't mind paying fair price, but i don't want to be rip off!

Tokyo-Saint

Tokyo-Saint

Posted
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Did I say fair price bear? Sorry bout that,I retract the statement. Don't want trouble from trade descriptions, I know they are big followers of the muppet show. They love Japanese lessons and investigations of bummings in Richmond but not so much 50 shades of gray reviews or dumb wallet stories.

 

I heard some want to comment on if Danny Fox is a witch or not but were not given the opportunity.

Bearsy

Bearsy

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C'mon chaps. Leave JLT alone. My prices make him look like the online version of NETTO, FFS.

 

Jeff le taxi is a bit Netto! I was just researching his ebay buying history, i was hoping to find him buying butt plug or sex doll or something, there was nothing like that it was mostly car parts for his vauxhall, but i did notice him buying these babies:

 

$(KGrHqRHJCIFCC3QPHIvBQlp78o7Y!~~60_12.JPG

 

This is 12 pairs of Men's Cotton Non Elastic Diabetic Socks size 6-11. Other than being concerned but not massively surprised to hear bout Jeff's diabetes (it is common affliction of taxi driver), I was amazed that he got all 12 pairs for just £6.95! This is just £0.58 per pair!

 

I dunno how much you pay for socks, I like the Paul Smith ones cos they is nice+stripy plus they last for ages, but they is like £12-14 per pair and they don't even come with diabetes!

Bearsy

Bearsy

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I know right! I purposely didn't post in Jeff's ebay thread cos he is can get a bit angar and i didn't want him to think i was trolling on his sock choices... but they is exactly the sort of socks i would of imagine him wearing! I also bet that in his pants drawer there is nothing but white y-fronts!

KelvinsRightGlove

KelvinsRightGlove

Posted
Posted
I've got to keep the global value of Microwave for One high, KRG.

 

It's bad enough my competitors on Amazon selling this book for a £0.01. They will be dealt with, believe me. The sooner you stop sending derisory and insulting offers my way, I can get on with it.

 

How can an offer in excess of 50 times the amount the product is available elsewhere derisory?

Bearsy

Bearsy

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Bearsy is such a price pikey that he ordered the book of off Amazon but got it on super saver delivery....

 

how am i price pikey! I just told you that i pay £12-14 for my socks!

Tokyo-Saint

Tokyo-Saint

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Bearsy gets Jeff's 2nd had socks at a slightly inflated price. Pap told me bear made an offer of £0.01 for the book but insisted he would pick it up.

 

Where is Baz by the way? Has he fallen through the Keegan window? I haven't seen him since he made a fool of himself more than usual on deadline day.

Big Bad Bob

Big Bad Bob

Posted
Posted
how am i price pikey! I just told you that i pay £12-14 for my socks!

I dunno how much you pay for socks, I like the Paul Smith ones cos they is nice+stripy plus they last for ages, but they is like £12-14 per pair and they don't even come with diabetes!

 

Nowhere in that diatribe does it say you actually buy them!

 

Don't you normally get your clothes from the seconds bin at Primark?

Big Bad Bob

Big Bad Bob

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Posted
Bearsy gets Jeff's 2nd had socks at a slightly inflated price. Pap told me bear made an offer of £0.01 for the book but insisted he would pick it up.

 

Where is Baz by the way? Has he fallen through the Keegan window? I haven't seen him since he made a fool of himself more than usual on deadline day.

 

I think someone left the Ekelund window open and he threw himself out of it!

Big Bad Bob

Big Bad Bob

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Posted

Where is Baz by the way? Has he fallen through the Keegan window? I haven't seen him since he made a fool of himself more than usual on deadline day.

 

If you look at his profile he's online right now...

pap

pap

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How can an offer in excess of 50 times the amount the product is available elsewhere derisory?

 

Different rules on the Muppet Show, KRG. Get your wallet out and avoid those penny merchants.

pap

pap

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I will offer a direct swap with this book:

 

bok_skip_8169993x4.jpg

 

This book is of no interest to me, unfortunately. I do not own any sea-faring vessel nor do I pilot one of my own volition.

 

I do own a microwave. I have some very useful recipes for one.

dubai_phil

dubai_phil

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Posted
This book is of no interest to me, unfortunately. I do not own any sea-faring vessel nor do I pilot one of my own volition.

 

I do own a microwave. I have some very useful recipes for one.

 

Can you get hold of the sequel? How to avoid Big Airplanes? Looking for a Christmas Present for Eric

Big Bad Bob

Big Bad Bob

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Posted (edited)

I'm sure you couldn't resist a direct swap for this little beauty :-

 

71GiYyGcolL.jpg

 

I'll even let you photocopy the fish recipes for your microwave so that when you perfect the art you'll be able to eat them...

Edited by Big Bad Bob
Spudders

Spudders

Posted
Posted
This book is of no interest to me, unfortunately. I do not own any sea-faring vessel nor do I pilot one of my own volition.

 

I do own a microwave. I have some very useful recipes for one.

 

Hi paps, I can't PM you as I'm now a second class forum member that doesn't want to given Baj & Steve money when they are already raking it in from adverts, so I'll post here and once you've read this post, just please don't show Lazlo! Even though it's of no interest to you, you should take the straight swap with his book, his book is currently selling on Amazon for £787.81. I'm no mathematical genius, but swapping would probably be a better deal for you than Lazzers :)

pap

pap

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I don't think Pap actually wants to sell this book.

 

To quote a grumpy Duncan Bannatyne after angrily shooting his beans up Deborah Meaden during a heated exchange over equity share, "I'm oot".

 

Look Kelv, an aloof nature with the customers is all part of the £82.81 service (inc of P+P). These c**ts selling it for a penny just send it out willy nilly. There's no craft, y'see - no salesmanship. It ultimately stems from no appreciation of the product.

Bearsy

Bearsy

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pap! Give me another menu pls, I can't make the potatoes one cos i don't have potatoes. Here is what I have got:

 

1 x box prawns

1 x slice hams

1 x milk

4 x carrots

1 x orange juice

1 x yorkie bar

1 x southern fried chicken things

1 x tomato sauce

4 x Mr.Men yogurt

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