Scouting Report: Norwich City

[Bearsy]

Hi Gays!

 

If you want to learn bout all the tactical challenges our team will face on Saturday... read on, cos I've done a whole scouting report on Norwich City!

 

I have tried my best to keep this scouting report more professional and keep the violent sexual imagery to an absolute minimum, cos some of it Ponch didn't find so helpful last time + it cost us 2 points.

 

http://bearsyinvestigates.blogspot.com/2013/08/scouting-report-norwich-city.html

[Saint-Armstrong]

Top work from the bear.

[Golac's Cunning Stunts]

That is a top read Bearsy. I like the way you have gone for a serious slant but your obvious comedic powers have still been allowed full reign. Good facts about wolf's penises that I wasn't aware of too.

[TheCholulaKid]

Your best yet. You used the word 'ample' twice, though. A small point....

[Bearsy]

Thanks guise!

 

Your best yet. You used the word 'ample' twice, though. A small point....

 

oh yeah I'e got delia being ample + growling all over the place! I will try + think of some better adjectives in future!

[TheCholulaKid]

Thanks guise!

 

 

 

oh yeah I'e got delia being ample + growling all over the place! I will try + think of some better adjectives in future!

 

Ample growler...enveloped...stink......mmmmm....

[Le Timmier]

Absolutely love it

[The Cat]

Very funny, the bit about Fry was particularly good.

[simo]

Not bad for an amateur yo ! ;-)

[Miffy]

Excellent work. V funny.

[Ziggy]

Brilliant!

[S-Clarke]

Nice work bear, I see a couple of Norwich fans have also found the blog based on the last 2 comments!

[Miltonaggro]

Frightening insights, it's going to be a hard game against these f*ckers...

[Bearsy]

Nice work bear, I see a couple of Norwich fans have also found the blog based on the last 2 comments!

 

someone just posted a carrot through my letterbox and it's got "U WILL PAY" carved on the side. It's strange, i thought my report was mostly positive!

[SNOWY]

poor little chrissy hughton...

[SaintAmongSkates]

Laughed so much dropped my phone.

[Deano6]

Nice blog, Bearso. You wanna be promoting your "b!tches be mental" book more on there!

[Tokyo-Saint]

The main thing I took from it was that bear got a bona from reading horse porn. Hope everyone noticed it. Starts off slow, tails off in the middle (apart from the horse porn bit) but by the end, I'm loving it. Some of the feedback given seems extreamly well thought out. My personal high was "Anonymous28 August 2013 11:49

Biggest load of **** I've read on the internet in a long long time! Not even remotely funny."

 

I wish I had written this bit. Well done bear!

[suewhistle]

The main thing I got from it was that it confirms that pretty well everything will make Bearsy priapic. Wouldn't sit next to him in the pub, lads...

[Tokyo-Saint]

Bet you would sue... Bet you'd take him back to 'the cellar' for some of that chianti action you told us about.

[dubai_phil]

Not so sure a Saints fan should be admitting a liking for Pony Fiddling. That's gonna give the phew ammunition for another 50 years.

 

Somehow I get the feeling that by the end of the Season Bearsey is gonna be needing Police Protection after offending the fans of EVERY club in the PL.

 

Perfects.

[Charlie Wayman]

Some of the feedback given seems extreamly well thought out. My personal high was "Anonymous28 August 2013 11:49

Biggest load of **** I've read on the internet in a long long time!

 

Similar eloquence of expression manifests itself on most threads sooner or later. It seems some on here have minds like cesspits andtheliterary skills of a baboon.

[Tokyo-Saint]

I bet the arsenal forum is a much more cultured and dignified place Charlie?

[Bearsy]

The main thing I took from it was that bear got a bona from reading horse porn.

 

This was all true story unfortunately! I'd be interested to find out if anyone else read this book, the plot was about a boy who everyone thought was like Jesus cos he laid hands on a dead baby and it come back to life! Then his cousin asked him to cure her cancer and he was like, "ok but for cancer I will have to get deep inside"

 

Fry didn't feel the need to describe this in any detail, the idea of boy boning girl was pretty disgusting so he had it mostly happen off screen. Then the horse got sick so he boned that too... Fry described this in minute + erotic detail!

[Tokyo-Saint]

Sounds like the Norwich remake of the Green Mile bear. I know this is one of your all time fav movies.

[The9]

How did people who didn't find this funny somehow happen upon it anyway ? Apart from Googling "Delia Smith c-unt" as stated in the comments, of course ?

 

I did well to get past that apostrophe in "Managers" in the first sentence. It was ok, too much sexy time though, literally becoming a one-trick pony ?

[The9]

Also gives a new meaning to the "Norwich Build Up" thread.

[Bearsy]

I did well to get past that apostrophe in "Managers" in the first sentence. It was ok, too much sexy time though, literally becoming a one-trick pony ?

 

thanks 9 i have atrophied ur apostophe! I dunno how i'd cope without ur proofreading!

 

ur right that i may be over-using the violent sexual imagery, but u write what u know innit! I tried last week to make it more about football when i was scouting sunderland, but it didn't come out v.good and people could see i didn't know what the f*ck i was on about!

 

who's up next? West Ham? I expect I'll be investigating Karen Brady sucking off David Gold while Sullivan watches on. It will prob be v.disturbing!