Saints Catering Lost a few Customers

[Chewy]

Calzaghe retired undefeated, you sound like one of those punch drunk ex fighters who still believes they've got it but end their careers fizzling out with a few defeats taking the gloss off their once illustrious career. Your reign is over, accept it, move on, and try not to let all the hangers on spend all your money leaving you both broke and a broken man. If that does happen, turn to drink and drugs, it'll numb the pain and speed up your passing.

[saintbletch]

Is love to know how people think thus is a defeat for the Joe Calzaghie of Mongboards. Had more bites than one of chuckles dodgy pasties on this thread.

 

Turkish, come on mate. Don't go all Audley Harrison on me. Take it on the chin.

[dubai_phil]

Bit blurred today been a heavy weekend and more to come at game time (where HORROR of HORRORS we have to wait up to 4 minutes for our pints of Pedigree to be delivered..)

 

Anyway, trying to catch up I see Turks now advocates that we sell Italian Pizza Pies, Calzone's or something.

 

Crikey well done one and all, that's a U-Turn of Miliband proportions

[saintbletch]

Is love to know how people think thus is a defeat for the Joe Calzaghie of Mongboards. Had more bites than one of chuckles dodgy pasties on this thread.

 

Turkish, for the record, and to help you get closure, this is how I scored the bout (4 rounds, 10 point must scoring system):

 

Round one.

JBS: "I bought a pasty and didn't like it"

Turkish: "Fat people, shouldn't go to football matches"

 

Turkish 10, 9 JBS (Turkish low blow not seen by the Bletcheree)

 

Round two.

JBS: "That's not the point, I'm talking about the reduced quality of my pasty"

Turkish: "What exactly were you expecting at a football stadium?"

 

Turkish 10, 10 JBS (The Bletcheree scored the round as even)

 

Round three.

JBS: "I was expecting the same quality of pasty I had last year."

Turkish: "Yes, but, um, what exactly were you expecting, you were at a football match?"

 

Turkish 9, 10 JBS - (JBS lands clean punch with only a half-hearted attempt at a defence from Turkish)

 

Round four.

JBS: "Well to answer your question Turkish, I was expecting the quality of my pasty to have at least stayed the same, not reduced. I recognise I was at a football stadium, but I was last year too and the pasty was fine then."

Turkish: [Tumbleweed] (Turkish stumbles back to his feet, looking to his corner for help and support from Team Turkish, but none was forthcoming.)

 

Turkish 8, 10 JBS - (The Bletcheree stops the contest as Turkish failed to obey the instruction to protect himself at all times)

 

The winner, and NEW King of the mongboards is John..."Boy"...Saint.

 

So that's how you lost the crown and thirteen years of unbroken mongboard rule Turkish.

 

To be honest, it was a pretty inauspicious way to lose the self-awarded title of King of the Mongboards. A backyard scrap over a snack is no way to lose the belts that you had worked so hard to unify (B-anter, SaintsForever, SaintsWeb, TUI...). Shame.

 

BTW those belts look good on John Boy Saint.

[Turkish]

Turkish, for the record, and to help you get closure, this is how I scored the bout (4 rounds, 10 point must scoring system):

 

Round one.

JBS: "I bought a pasty and didn't like it"

Turkish: "Fat people, shouldn't go to football matches"

 

Turkish 10, 9 JBS (Turkish low blow not seen by the Bletcheree)

 

Round two.

JBS: "That's not the point, I'm talking about the reduced quality of my pasty"

Turkish: "What exactly were you expecting at a football stadium?"

 

Turkish 10, 10 JBS (The Bletcheree scored the round as even)

 

Round three.

JBS: "I was expecting the same quality of pasty I had last year."

Turkish: "Yes, but, um, what exactly were you expecting, you were at a football match?"

 

Turkish 9, 10 JBS - (JBS lands clean punch with only a half-hearted attempt at a defence from Turkish)

 

Round four.

JBS: "Well to answer your question Turkish, I was expecting the quality of my pasty to have at least stayed the same, not reduced. I recognise I was at a football stadium, but I was last year too and the pasty was fine then."

Turkish: [Tumbleweed] (Turkish stumbles back to his feet, looking to his corner for help and support from Team Turkish, but none was forthcoming.)

 

Turkish 8, 10 JBS - (The Bletcheree stops the contest as Turkish failed to obey the instruction to protect himself at all times)

 

The winner, and NEW King of the mongboards is John..."Boy"...Saint.

 

So that's how you lost the crown and thirteen years of unbroken mongboard rule Turkish.

 

To be honest, it was a pretty inauspicious way to lose the self-awarded title of King of the Mongboards. A backyard scrap over a snack is no way to lose the belts that you had worked so hard to unify (B-anter, SaintsForever, SaintsWeb, TUI...). Shame.

 

BTW those belts look good on John Boy Saint.

 

An outrageous decision and highly questionable point scoring. This reminds me of when Lewnnox Lewis clearly beat Evander Holyfield but the bias judges awarded a draw. I demand an inquest. The problem with being the best pound for pound poster in mongboard history is everyone is looking to bring you down. Why cant people just admire me for what i am and respect my talents rather than being desperate to see me lose my crown? A disgrace and embarassment to the forum. No wonder the good posters dont post on here any more and you can see why!

[dubai_phil]

Whilst JBS can celebrate his resounding victory, he has lost a couple of points in a count back for failing to pay attention whilst at SMS on Sunday

 

 

His loss of course

[John Boy Saint]

Thats the trouble when the champion gets a bit too confident, he drops his guard and an aged journeyman finds himself, by some quirk of fate standing looking up with a crick in his neck toe to toe with the arch nemesis of the "mongboard", and due to such blind arrogance the champion fails to see just how much he is tarnishing his own lustre in attempting to belittle an unknown protagonist with a different set of keyboard combat skills.

 

Others have judged this as the last Billy Goat Gruff giving the Troll under the bridge what he has had coming to him for years.

 

But being the pleasant chap that I am, I would suggest you view it as a Yoda moment young Skywalker.

 

I was going to start a thread saying that for the first time since February 1978 I have not bought a Matchday programme from a Saints match I have attended because it is too bloody big and impractical to stuff in your pocket the decision was made even easier as it was piddling down with rain and it would have gotten soggy. But with far too much work in the real world to do I really didn't fancy another 5 pages and 206 posts trying to explain my thoughts.

[John Boy Saint]

Whilst JBS can celebrate his resounding victory, he has lost a couple of points in a count back for failing to pay attention whilst at SMS on Sunday

 

 

His loss of course

 

Nice buns in them jeans!! No wonder you took so long to reply!!

When the penny dropped I did think goodness me where is the poor Girls white stick and Labrador!!

 

 

Good try Aramis!!

[dubai_phil]

Nice buns in them jeans!! No wonder you took so long to reply!!

When the penny dropped I did think goodness me where is the poor Girls white stick and Labrador!!

 

 

Good try Aramis!!

 

She just fell for my wit, charm and eloquence. (Cos the ex wife had taken everything else I had left!)

 

Which annoys the hell out of Eric, he can't understand it either.

 

But it was funny hearing her shout at Boruc in Polish to get a move on towards the end!

[Secret Site Agent]

An outrageous decision and highly questionable point scoring. This reminds me of when Lewnnox Lewis clearly beat Evander Holyfield but the bias judges awarded a draw. I demand an inquest. The problem with being the best pound for pound poster in mongboard history is everyone is looking to bring you down. Why cant people just admire me for what i am and respect my talents rather than being desperate to see me lose my crown? A disgrace and embarassment to the forum. No wonder the good posters dont post on here any more and you can see why!

 

OK, I have reviewed the tale of the tape and.........decision stands.

 

All judges decisions are final

[CB Fry]

Not sure how anyone who regularly buys hot food at a football ground can ever be described as a winner.

[The Cat]

Not sure how anyone who regularly buys hot food at a football ground can ever be described as a winner.

 

I'd rather a supporter in the ground regularly buying food than one not in the ground at all. They are at least winning in one respect.

[Bearsy]

Hi Gays!

 

I am pleased to confirm that Saintsweb Moment of the Year 2013 has been democratically awarded to forum hardman John Boy Saint for ironing out Turkish in this thread. It was widely considered the most comprehensive rinsing since Fergus' post coital shower in The Crying Game.

 

Here is the poll results in full:

 

This thread will now be moved to golden posts.

 

Regards,

 

B.Earsy

Saintsweb Awards 2013 Admin Team

[Turkish]

Absolute joke voting, Worse than the Eurovision song contest.

[OldNick]

Absolute joke voting, Worse than the Eurovision song contest.

i agree, I mistakenly voted for the PTS when in hindsight I should have voted for the Turkish being .......

[Tokyo-Saint]

Absolute joke voting, Worse than the Eurovision song contest.

 

There was nothing wrong with voting system in any of any part of these awards.

 

Your MVP

 

Tokyo-Saint

[Bearsy]

It was shocking to see Turkish shuffling about the forum like an aging prizefighter, limping, beaten, half blind and bitter. But it was when the once great man squinted at me and muttered incoherently that he was robbed, that his defeat was invalid, that the true shock came. It was then that I understood that his true injuries lay hidden in a darker place, his heart. His heart once capable of inspiring others so completely, could no longer inspire so much as itself. It beat now only out of habit, it beat now only because it could.

[sotonjoe]

Just read the op. Why can't some people go ninety minutes without stuffing their faces with junk food?

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[Bearsy]

We have a new challenger John Boy Saint! Iron him out, Champ! Just like you did Turkish.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Just read the op. Why can't some people go ninety minutes without stuffing their faces with junk food?

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

What if you have a 4 or 5 hour drive to get to the match, get stuck in traffic, just get to the game with 10 mins to spare. At that point would it be acceptable to buy some food?

[Tokyo-Saint]

Hurry up and reply, I'm hungry!

[Tokyo-Saint]

http://www.wigantoday.net/news/local/world-pie-eating-championships-goes-topless-1-6319768

 

CONTROVERSY has struck one of the highlights of Wigan’s sporting calendar, which will be going topless after a health and safety row.

 

The World Pie Eating Championships, which will once again see competitors descend on Harry’s Bar in Wallgate to scoff against the clock for the Bradley Piggins Trophy, will not have crusts on the pastry edibles after risk assessment lawyers stepped in.

 

The competition, held exactly at Pie Noon tomorrow, will see contestants attempting to consume Wigan’s most famous contribution to cuisine as fast as possible to take home the title of World Champion and lift the Bradley Piggins Trophy.

 

The organisers are determined to ensure the contest will continue to thrive despite the intervention of health and safety, saying rumours of its demise are very much exaggerated and reassuring people the removal of tops will be strictly limited to the trays of pastries.

 

Bar owner and event organiser Tony Callaghan said: “In jeopardy? Is that that new discotheque in Hindley?

 

“No, the contest is definitely still in Harry’s Bar.

 

“The competition will be topless: but it’s the pies that will be topless, not the competitors. It’s a health and safety thing the lawyers have insisted upon over worries that competitors may put personal discomfort aside in their bids for glory.

 

“By taking the top off the competition pies it ensures that there is no danger of retained heat. We had a nasty incident in training when the contents of a red-hot pie got stuck to the roof of somebody’s mouth and only the quick thinking of a barperson prevented further injury by blasting the residue off with a shaken bottle of fizzy water.”

 

The championships, which have now been attracting pie eaters to Wallgate to vie for the crown for more than 20 years, may be a fairly light-hearted affair but is governed by strict rules.

 

The pies must have a diameter of 12cm and a depth of 3.5cm, and the filling must be in cubes of a minimum of 1cm. There must also be at least 66 meat in the pie, without including the pastry.

 

The event should see the popular town centre bar packed to the rafters with competitors, onlookers and media to see who can emulate furniture salesman Martin Clare, 34, who consumed his pie in just 23.53 seconds to take last year’s first prize.

 

A Leigh resident, who asked not to be named, suggested the removal of crust from the top of the competition pies should lead to the contest being renamed the World Lobby Eating Championships.

 

The World Pie Eating Championships will be held tomorrow at noon at Harry’s Bar, on Wallgate.

[dubai_phil]

Do TSW have a competitor in that Tokes? (oops, sorry, MVP?)

 

1)I am sure I recall previous posts regarding members eating all the pies.

2) On topic, perhaps someone could research whether Wigan's pies would be a better upgrade than what we have now.

 

(Although no doubt SMS catering would serve topless pies and still put the price up by alleging they were a World Class Catering example)

[studentsaint]

After 5 pages of discussion on the most insignificant of topics, I mean seriously, the changing of a pasty at a football ground, I can supply all with answers.

 

The primary goal is to serve customers quickly and efficiently, as Turkish mentioned at times like HT and 10 minutes before the game there are many customers and limited time.

 

Previously, pastys and pies had to be oven cooked, some from frozen, and then kept at appropriate temperatures in the warmers. Cooking took up a lot of time, therefore new products were brought in that could be cooked quicker by merely placing them into the warmers where they would cook. Fair enough quality may have dropped, but I'd imagine pukka pies-branded pasties are still of a standard belonging to concourse food.

 

All in all, Mr Cortese wants products that can be eaten using 1 hand, so customers buy 2 things, perhaps one being a pint, therefore increasing revenue, preventing customers requeuing and crowding around limited table space where they have to put one item down. Halo simply want quick service which these new products allow, therefore everyone can enjoy as much of the game as possible, as that's what everyone is there for after all.

[Tokyo-Saint]

So why do the staff move so slowly then?

[studentsaint]

A lot of agency staff for busy periods, a large intake of new workers, a lot of which are young, haven't worked before and can be slow to start off with. However, you can imagine that the amount of people applying for these positions are limited and are people that are taken on, trained and developed. I don't have all the answers but if you try and think from the companies POV rather than yours as a customer, you can realise what may be difficult and why certain things happen.

[Bearsy]

yeah tokyos use ur dumb brain ffs

[studentsaint]

That was you in a plural sense btw, not just yourself. Customers tend to use info we have and don't look at others POV. Obviously the food is cr*p and over priced but that's a sports arena for you.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Nah, not having it. It is like those bars (square balloon used to be the worst) were the place is packed but they only have 2 or 3 people working the bar. I bet the problem is tight arse Cortese paying peanuts and getting agency monkeys or even lack of applicants as you mentioned.

[Bearsy]

They're probably so ashamed to serve sub-standard pasties that they do it only reluctantly. If they were dishing out top quality cornish they would be rushing around like beavers anxious to please the fanbase

[dubai_phil]

This is all very good info Studentsaint.

 

But who is our man in Wigan tomorrow?

[cellone]

Don't start on pukka pies Stude.

[John Boy Saint]

We have a new challenger John Boy Saint! Iron him out, Champ! Just like you did Turkish.

Back home after day of earning an honest crust and this is still going strong

 

No challenger Bearsy, just a hopeful sparring partner, who has shown his inexperience and amateur status by reading the OP and making an assumption.Then trying to be clever posting upon it 218 posts and 5 pages into a thread.

Had sotonjoe read beyond the op, then he would have seen that his hasty question would have been answered (in this particular case), thus avoiding the possibility of looking a chump rather than a champ.

 

Still a valid question if you are paying £40 to watch Football why would you want to miss 5 minutes either side of half-time queuing for food that you probably don't honestly need at that time of day.

[John Boy Saint]

What if you have a 4 or 5 hour drive to get to the match, get stuck in traffic, just get to the game with 10 mins to spare. At that point would it be acceptable to buy some food?

Nice to see newly crowned MVP Tokyo-Saint pointing out something some of us have endured a few times.

[John Boy Saint]

But who is our man in Wigan tomorrow?

Not me unfortunately....................... Although it would have spot on for going to see my 104 year old Granny just down the road.

[Hockey_saint]

F**K a duck Nelson! There's a simple solution to this....

 

Stadia Caterers are the Wonga loan companies of fast food catering.

 

They use the cheapest, nastiest items and sell them for astrological prices simply because they have a captive audience. It's not the kids on the till, or behind frying the slops fault, they get paid pittance to take stick when it's clearly the shysters who run the operation that need sorting out.

 

Don't fund their greed and if you do...don't whine about it.

Edited 19 December, 2013 by Hockey_saint

[John Boy Saint]

F**K a duck Nelson! There's a simply solution to this....

 

Stadia Caterers are the Wonga loan companies of fast food catering.

 

They use the cheapest, nastiest items and sell them for astrological prices simply because they have a captive audience. It's not the kids on the till, or behind frying the slops fault, they get paid pittance to take stick when it's clearly the shysters who run the operation that need sorting out.

 

Don't fund their greed and if you do...don't whine about it.

Errrr unless the Mods have tinkered with the thread title you can see that's exactly what's happened!

[raynesparksaint]

What if you have a 4 or 5 hour drive to get to the match, get stuck in traffic, just get to the game with 10 mins to spare. At that point would it be acceptable to buy some food?

 

You should set off with adequate supplies in case of that eventuality. You can then munch on your packed lunch whilst grid-locked at Chilworth roundabout. Problem solved.

[Hockey_saint]

Errrr unless the Mods have tinkered with the thread title you can see that's exactly what's happened!

 

It was a more a Jerry Springer-style after thought but the OP clearly states that he usually buys their grub and appears to have only just noticed....this is more a lesson for those thinking of ever buying it.

[John Boy Saint]

It was a more a Jerry Springer-style after thought but the OP clearly states that he usually buys their grub and appears to have only just noticed....this is more a lesson for those thinking of ever buying it.

Please read it again properly, I am the opening poster 239 posts and 5 pages ago, then read a page or two.

No surprises or naivety or "crikey how long have my trousers been round my ankles!".

[Hockey_saint]

Please read it again properly, I am the opening poster 239 posts and 5 pages ago, then read a page or two.

No surprises or naivety or "crikey how long have my trousers been round my ankles!".

 

Oh I read it ok, I was just so astounded that it appeared, to me at least, that you seemed to indeed have a "crikey how long have my trousers been round my ankles!" moment that I completely ignored the name of the OP (which obviously is yourself) now, whilst I don't always agree with Turkish, I have to say he's right...also, I worked for one game at a stadium concourse caterer and can assure you at least with Saint's former contractor....I probably wouldn't feed my dog half the disgustingly over price rubbish they sell...

 

So please, whilst you've obviously ignored the rest of the posters directly above my comment generally saying the same thing and have decided to single my comment out for whatever reason...maybe, have a Jerry Springer moment and think....did I really ever put my money down to buy that horrible food in the first place and also, since it is so awful and that everyone knows it is, why do I need to make a thread about it?

[dubai_phil]

You know what Bear?

 

I'm starting to get an inkling that this thread could win next year's award as well.

 

Sure, by then the joke may be a bit stale, but then so are the pies as often as not. (Allegedly)

[OldNick]

That was you in a plural sense btw, not just yourself. Customers tend to use info we have and don't look at others POV. Obviously the food is cr*p and over priced but that's a sports arena for you.

well perhaps the vendors should take the time to visit their outlets and stand in the queues. Surely it is down to planning. There must be a approx number of pies that are sold at halftime and so they should be heated beforehand. Yes there would be wastage, but that would be factored in. If they weren't as hot as the sun it would help. (I do realise that the food laws are part of this)

[John Boy Saint]

You know what Bear?

 

I'm starting to get an inkling that this thread could win next year's award as well.

 

Sure, by then the joke may be a bit stale, but then so are the pies as often as not. (Allegedly)

 

Think you might win the truest thing ever said on SWF title next year!

 

I will get biggest hole shot in foot possibly feet award.

Edited 20 December, 2013 by John Boy Saint

[studentsaint]

This is all very good info Studentsaint.

 

But who is our man in Wigan tomorrow?

 

Am I missing something?

[dubai_phil]

Am I missing something?

 

Yes FFS the Topless Pie eating competition.

 

Where are our photos?

[cellone]

I probably wouldn't feed my dog half the disgustingly over price rubbish they sell.

 

If your earning that sort of wage I doubt you could afford to.

[Hockey_saint]

If your earning that sort of wage I doubt you could afford to.

 

Good point and if my dog could talk....he'd not talk to me again for offering such muck.

[percy windham]

I had a pie for the first time at that youth game the other week. Pie was alright I suppose, better value than paying £2.50 for a bag of skittles.

 

I was however absolutely sickened and disgusted to order a Bovril and be offered sugar with it. " Sugar?! With a Bovril? I loudly exclaimed, I was tempted to throw the beefy drink back in her face, coating her forever in liquid meaty burns.

[Saint Fan CaM]

Late to the show, but then the thread has taken me three days to read, digest and analyse.

 

The simple fact is that in the concourse, the food choice is poor, the food quality is poor and the service is not great too. I learnt this some several seasons ago after the collapse of the Lowe regime BTW and since then, I've settled for a flask of coffee and a self-assembled sarnie (never prawn - I hate the smell of fish around me at football).

 

The exception to this is when I use the one and only decent burger van on the way in to the ground (I'm not saying which one as too many of you fatties will take too long ordering and hold me up).