Tokyo-Saint Posted 6 August, 2013 Share Posted 6 August, 2013 (edited) As the unfunny weasle half of a comedy double act* I sometimes feel obliged to keep TMS ticking along by helping out with the investigations. A few weeks ago, I accidently got caught up in the gay scene. This came as a surprise to me as it was a Sunday afternoon my dogs were present. All of the following is true - The cover story & Location Every Sunday I walk my dogs down along the Thames Path so that they can have a swim. I then cut through these fields on the way back. I have done for ages, at least 1 and half years. This is the Thames Path: As you can see this is beautiful enough for a cover story/alabi. The area the fields are on what is called Ham common. Here is proof that this is a genuine nature reserve (notice no rainbow flags). The gays & me One Sunday it was really hot and I was cutting back through the fields and these guys were stood in the long grass, they were all stood separately about 20 meters apart and looking in the same direction. Some other guys were kind of wandering around. They all looked pretty similar, all middle age, bit George Michael, in speedos, wearing a baseball cap and with a strange little rucksack. I didn't know what I was investigating, it looked like some weird game, maybe like a battle reconstruction in speedos. This is how they were more or less spaced out. As I got closer I could see more of how they looked. It was a bit more obvious that they were gay as some of them looked like Turkish and others looked like what you might imagine bear looks like. Here is an example: Turks Bear As I walked around the path got narrower and some of the guys were walking past me, they looked me up and down but didn't seem interested. Not very friendly for dog walkers I thought and where is their dog? Then there was like a rustling in the bush, this looked very much like the bit with the rustling bushes in Jurassic Park. Here is the actual path I walked down: As I walked round it became more and more apparent that some bumming must be going on. I was now investigating that I was in the middle of a big gay scene. The funny thing is, my dogs legged it into the bushes to find out what was happening and I could hear these voices telling the dogs to fuck off and stuff. It turns out dogs aren't easily deterred by angry gay men that have been disturbed and it took a bit of time to get them out. Anyway, soon as my investigations was done I got out of there pretty quickly. When I got home I googled it investigated this place is a big gay cruising on hot sundays in summer, they call it sexy sundays or something. The Reviews http://pinkuk.com/ says that Ham Common is "Very cruisy! Lots of sex in the woods and nude sunbathing in the summer. Parking is ample next to the river Thames and very safe and discrete." Mr Anon of Richmond says "3 out of 5 Nice big quiet open air area. A lot of older guys here, be great for some more under 35s to hang around. You often get guys sunbathing naked in the summer in the long grass behind. Head into the woods either side of the bloody great path that runs through the middle of it, you're bound to bump into people. There are sometimes some cute joggers who stop by - the rule seems to be that the guys who are likely to be interested are within the wooded areas. The whole area is used by dog walkers, and is close to a baseball diamond that does get used so try to be discrete." Another Mr Anon says "fell asleep sunbathing in the grass and woke up to find a guy in speedos watching me. we swapped shorts and had some good fun - will be back again soon." Full information on the area can be found here http://pinkuk.com/venues/1575/gay-cruising/london/ham-common http://www.gayscout.com calls Ham Common a hotbed for up for it gays 5 stars Conclusion It turns out that this is a massive gay cruising area on hot summer weekend days. As we didn't have a summer last year and my dogs are two years old, I have not been lucky enough to discover previously and pretty much have my weekend walks all routed out. I previously got caught up in the gay scene while working close to soho. My former workmates insisted that we would have friday drinks in 'the edge' on soho square. Being a modern man at peace with my sexuality, I was down with this. It was all fine until Darren from big brother 1 offered me "the best sex I have ever had in my life". This was fine as to be fair, I was drinking in 'the edge' so.... Not sure I am with gayscout giving this 5 stars as for dog walkers, having to return stolen speedos from dog's mouths back to angry gays is a bit of an inconvenience. All in all I would give it 2.5 stars out of 3. *Copyright Norway saint Edited 6 August, 2013 by Tokyo-Saint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 6 August, 2013 Share Posted 6 August, 2013 So you don't live in Tokyo... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 6 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 6 August, 2013 What made you think that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 6 August, 2013 Share Posted 6 August, 2013 This is excellent + informative investigation tokyos! But I think you can go further! Strike up conversation with some of these bummers, see what they has to say for themselves! Also moar photos pls! You may need tripod to hold camera steady while u masturbate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 6 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 6 August, 2013 How do you up load mobile photos bear? I didn't know this was an option. Since finding sexy summer Sundays, I have noticed that there are a lot more gay/well dressed guys walking along the Thames path. Before I just thought it was a fashionable area, now I have investigated it, I think they are going for a bum and not just a stroll along the river. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 6 August, 2013 Share Posted 6 August, 2013 Does anyone know if this gay cruising site is still active? It is v.near me but none of the reviewers seem to be getting any action. http://pinkuk.com/venues/1139/gay-cruising/midlands/sutton-coldfield/sutton-park-boldmere-gate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 6 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 6 August, 2013 There are a few email addresses in the reviews bear. I think you should help out with this investigation. Why don't you email those guys (they seem friendly), meet up with them in the park, hang out for a bit and report back with your findings? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 6 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 6 August, 2013 Oh yeah, "best in the week 5pm or later" - go after work one night bear... Maybe even now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 6 August, 2013 Share Posted 6 August, 2013 Lol i just tried to sign up Tokyo-Saint on that gay cruising website, and it wouldn't let me cos he's already registered! :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 6 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 6 August, 2013 Ive got a feeling bearsybearsy@googlemail.com is going to be getting some spam soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 6 August, 2013 Share Posted 6 August, 2013 :lol::lol::lol::lol: explain urself tokyos! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 6 August, 2013 Share Posted 6 August, 2013 tokyos is so caught out! Is hilarious!!! :lol::lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 6 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 6 August, 2013 oh, what you do bear is try to log in with a user name that is already there. For example, I tried it with bearsy. Then it tells you that there is already a user with that name. Then you change the gay name (bearsy) for the non gay name (Tokyos) do print screen and load up to saints web. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 6 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 6 August, 2013 I just tried to create an account using bearsybearsy@googlemail.com and it said there was already an account with this email address.... Bear? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 6 August, 2013 Share Posted 6 August, 2013 lol i never! It was false alarm tho must just be dumb website cos they email me password just now. I believe you just left a review! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 6 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 6 August, 2013 I am hoping there is going to be some stadium information posted by MLG soon but i think it is more likely to say Tokyo-saint, isn't it bear? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 6 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 6 August, 2013 Lol - dumb bear! you put it from Mr Anon as well - I ain't even Indian! I think Brian Earsy from Birmingham might be contacting those sutton park gate or whatever guys soon though. Here is bear's review: 5 out of 5 04 Aug 2013 i had v.sexy time! Chilled atmos and a lot of cute guys at this site! I'm there every Sunday, watch out for me I have 2 dogs but don't worry they also like to "play" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 6 August, 2013 Share Posted 6 August, 2013 oh check they have actual added to actual smilies! Does anyone remember when i invented SaintIcons? I got not even curtesy of answer from dumb mods when i suggested SaintIcons! Then like year later minty or whoever is totally infringing my copyrights! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 6 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 6 August, 2013 I think is was cause Baz is posting so many comments that the mods had to do something to show what a he was. I think there is a way you can claim for 0.1p every time someone posts using it bear. Btw - your 5 star review has pushed up the average number of bum stars Ham Common gets in it's reviews. I think this is unfair to the genuine users of the common. Having read the reviews in great detail, it appears obvious that that site is used by older not so good looking gay guys. I think your review might mislead gays down there looking for the more popular one direction style gay guys. I might have to deal with a lot of disappointed and angry gays on my sunday walks because of you bear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 6 August, 2013 Share Posted 6 August, 2013 I'm busy at moment tracking down tokyos twitter account for photos to upload to his profile. I don't want the cottagers of Ham Common to accidentally rape some innocent bystander just cos he happens to have two dogs. Edit - does anyone know bout tokyos twitter account? I know he has one cos he has gay chats with turkish in evening times! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 6 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 6 August, 2013 Strangle on twitter bear, I go by the name @matthewlegod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludwig Posted 6 August, 2013 Share Posted 6 August, 2013 As the unfunny weasle half of a comedy double act* I sometimes..... Yes, this thread has certainly confirmed that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 6 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 6 August, 2013 Oh hi Ludwig. I was just chatting with deppo on twitter, your hero was pretending to be me. Why don't you bore off and contact him, he can confirm I didn't get him banned. Oh and that he is pancake, although this is unlikely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludwig Posted 6 August, 2013 Share Posted 6 August, 2013 "bore off"? Really? I think its nice that you've made a real effort to be amusing with this thread. I see that Norway Saint has upset you and you've risen to the challenge. Keep trying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 6 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 6 August, 2013 Glad you tuned in Ludwig. Thought you'd appreciate the old school insult being a good poster who doesn't post anymore and you can see why. I would invite you to be a nemesis but I fear you'd run out of posts before we really got going. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 6 August, 2013 Share Posted 6 August, 2013 What a bad week for my paypal to remember it needed to have the new credit card info entered. Bit like Tokes needing the right info to enter his cruising zone. This had Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much potential. Meanwhile as I only have 3 bloody posts a day, Amy Pond or the new chick in Dr Who (finally catching up) Personally I'd settle for both, if I had to choose one then the newbie would get it same way Tokes did when he went out for a stroll in his speedos. Oh and we need a striker Oh and Guly wants his Clothing line to take off he needs to start selling a Red & White striped T Shirt PDQ Anything else? Oh yeah just re-watched Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid. Really? How good is that movie? Oh and Defiance is becoming a Space Western in the not as good as Firefly tradition Oh yeah and it's Ramadan, I'm BORED and can't even post on here and missed out on helping tommi not get ripped off in the Lounge Yeah that's about it until Granty wakes up and checks his bonk account. Oh and no Tokes, nice try but the Bear never did that. (Eric told me it's a subscription web site, the Pikey would NEVER afford that. You're more busted than one of those speedo wearers having had an accident with a Prize winning Marrow) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 6 August, 2013 Share Posted 6 August, 2013 Good work Tokyos, I ran home along the Thames path this evening although I didn't go down as far as that, I came off at Hammersmith bridge, how much further do I need to stay on the path to get to this area? Maybe I'll come down & hide in bushes & watch out for you so I can confirm back to muppets if you are just observing or if you are cracking one off in the long grass whilst posting gay reports on saintweb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint-scooby Posted 6 August, 2013 Share Posted 6 August, 2013 Thank you for your hard work, made me chuckle ....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 7 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 7 August, 2013 Thank you for your hard work, made me chuckle ....... Thanks! Good work Tokyos, I ran home along the Thames path this evening although I didn't go down as far as that, I came off at Hammersmith bridge, how much further do I need to stay on the path to get to this area? Maybe I'll come down & hide in bushes & watch out for you so I can confirm back to muppets if you are just observing or if you are cracking one off in the long grass whilst posting gay reports on saintweb Have I read this right spudders? Immediately after reading this thread, you legged it down the Thames Path looking for the spot but only got as far as Hammersmith Bridge before you came? You are going to have to improve you stamina if you want to get down there spud as it is pretty far down. It is opposite Eel Pie Island/Twickenham, just one and half more bridges down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 7 August, 2013 Share Posted 7 August, 2013 i was on punt on river thames last night and as i went under Hammersmith Bridge something landed in my bowl strawberries. I still ate them, but they taste funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 7 August, 2013 Share Posted 7 August, 2013 i was on punt on river thames last night and as i went under Hammersmith Bridge something landed in my bowl strawberries. I still ate them, but they taste funny. :lol: +1 rep point Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 7 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 7 August, 2013 Seems a bit of a coincidence that within hours of me writing this thread, both spud and bear happen to be in the area. Spudding legging it down there and bear on the gayest of all boats, the punt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 7 August, 2013 Share Posted 7 August, 2013 It's no coincidence Tokes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 7 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 7 August, 2013 See you guys down there! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The9 Posted 7 August, 2013 Share Posted 7 August, 2013 33 replies and no-one has made an hilarious joke about the gayer thinking "discrete" (separate/independent) is the same as "discreet" (behaving so as to not get caught going at it by Speedo thieving dogs). I'm waiting... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 7 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 7 August, 2013 What pinkuk is missing 9 is a MLG. He could be on there posting about ham common's development plans in 5 years time. A massive sandcrawler, 4g glory holes etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Convict Colony Posted 7 August, 2013 Share Posted 7 August, 2013 Lol i just tried to sign up Tokyo-Saint on that gay cruising website, and it wouldn't let me cos he's already registered! :lol: you should try and sign him up to grinder !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 7 August, 2013 Author Share Posted 7 August, 2013 Ha! yeah nice one colon but two can play at that game... Hi bearsy As requested we set up your new account for Pink UK: http://pinkuk.com Username: bearsy Password: tt3v**** If this was not you, please reply to this email. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperMikey Posted 7 August, 2013 Share Posted 7 August, 2013 Send me an email on the website Bearsy, my username on there is BrettFromCamden Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Convict Colony Posted 7 August, 2013 Share Posted 7 August, 2013 hahaha, tokes sign up as bearsy on grinder and when you walk down there next switch it on and it should say which bummers are nearby and where, that way you get local intelligence without having to see 2 dudes make the beast with 2 backs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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