Bearsy Posted 27 July, 2013 Posted 27 July, 2013 Hi Gays! Tokyos was saying the other day that he had never seen a porno. I mean, obviously he's seen pornos but he's never seen one the whole way through. I don't suppose anyone has. What Tokyos does is watch the first few seconds, then he fast forwards to when the one guy is licking on the other guy's bumhole cos this is the bit tokyos likes. So anyway, I just watched a porno. The whole way through yo! I'm gonna write a review now. Invisimod, you have like 10 mins or whatever to issue a cease or desist order or I'm posting this filth in muppet shows! Bearsy PS - I want other people to do reviews too! Tokyos can review his gay porn. Spudders can cover pigeon porn subsection. Dubai Phil can do golf porn with Lee Westwood, or whatever. Post in here pls!
Bearsy Posted 27 July, 2013 Author Posted 27 July, 2013 REAL WIFE STORIES: Suck For My Silence STARRING: Jenni Lee About our star: I like Jenni Lee, she seems nice. She doesn't seem like someone born to star in pornos. While she is definitely hot, she is hot in a classical, small-breasted kind of way. She has a pretty face and does not even seem to be particularly dumb. If she hadn't been molested as a child she might have become a secretary at a high-price law firm, sucking off the partners during lunch break, or work the counter in Selfridges or something classy like that. She has a tattoo of a sun-God above her snatch, and when you look closely her face shows signs of spunkne (conjunctive term for acne resulting from jizzface) but other than that, seems largely unspoiled by her life of grime. Fun googles fact: Jenni Lee discovered at a young age that she was born with absolute zero gag reflex. None. Nada! No matter what Jenni Lee shoves down her throat, and she's had a lot of stuff down there, she never suffers from involuntary regurgitation. It is unclear if this is the next step in human evolution, or just a lucky coincidence. About our co-stars: Some dudes. Synopsis: We find Jenni Lee in the kitchen, messing with some vegetables. She's not shoving cucumbers up her snatch, she's chopping peppers and roughing up lettuces. She's making a salad. A guy approaches her from behind, opens her dressing gown and starts feeling on her body. It seems they are acquainted. If she's the Real Wife I imagine this guy is the Real Husband. He enquires about what time is my food is gonna be ready woman and mentions that he's invited a mate of his, Kieran, over for dinner. She doesn't seem pleased about this. We're detecting that she ain't too fond of this Kieran character. But what she gonna do? The husband is rich, judging by the house, she's got to keep him on side. "Good girl," he says patronisingly, slaps her arse and exits stage right. Bitch immediately gets on her phone and calls this Kieran character. He's a smug fuck. They do a cut-away to his office and he swings around in his executive chair and sneers at the camera like he's Blofeld or something. Jenni Lee is suspicious of this guy. She feels he's up to something. It's probably because he has an English accent and she's watched too many movies. We're not all Alan Rickman. Turns out she has more legitimate reasons. Kieran saw Jenni at a restaurant the previous night, where she was having dinner with an "old friend". Translation, Jenni Lee has been caught doing the dirty on her sap husband and is quite naturally concerned that Kieran's sudden predilection for coming round for dinner is in order to cause trouble. He denies this, of course, and the call ends quite amicably. What Jenni Lee does not know, is that when she hangs up Kieran looks sneeringly at the phone and says, "You cheating cunt!" Good situation! Feel the drama! We are 1m26s in. This porno is 32m39s long. We may be in for a long review people! Next thing, Jenni Lee re-appears in a sexy pink mini-dress, dolled up for dinner. We get to watch her walk down the stairs so we can try and look up her skirt. It seems that she has forgotten to put on her undercrackers. Probably due to the stress of Kieran's devious intentions. There is a knock on the door. "That must be Kieran," observes the sap husband. "I'll let him in!" says Jenni anxiously, and we watch her arse sashay to the door. It's a nice arse. I prefer Jenni Lee's arse to a lot of girl's face. Kieran thinks so too, first thing he does is cop a hold of it and she squirms awkwardly until the sap husband breaks up the party. He doesn't suspect anything. He doesn't know that his wife is a cheating cunt. They all sit down for dinner. This is the situation: The guy on the left is the sap husband, the guy on the right is Kieran. Kieran immediately begins chatting about this new restaurant he went to last night, "Have you ever been there, Jenni?" he asks innocently. "No Kieran, I have not." Lying cunt! Kieran takes advantage of the break in conversation to reach a sneaky hand under the table, run it up Jenni Lee's leg and starts playing hunt the thimble in her vag. Her face is a picture! She bolts from her chair and excuses herself to the kitchen to check on dessert. Kieran says he needs the toilet, and follows her. Sap husband continues stuffing his face. Greedy hog. We're back in the kitchen. Jenni Lee is again approached from behind, this happens a lot to her but on this occassion, it's Kieran. He grabs a hold of her, she struggles but he is too strong. "If I'd of known what a cheating cunt you were," he says, "I'd of done this a lot, lot sooner." He forces her down on her knees and inserts his knob in her mouth. She actually sucks it quite accommodatingly, only breaking off now and again to answer her husband's calls from the next room, as he's finished his main course and is now wondering about his pudding. Jenni Lee is not bothered, she's already got a proper mouthful. She drops a piece of cake off with the sap husband, and then they take the party upstairs. They spend the next 26 minutes fucking. One assumes the husband is a slow eater. Also deaf. There is a fair old racket going on what with Kieran shouting "Am I better than your husband?" the whole time, and Jenni telling him to shut up with one breath and then squeeling like a stuck pig the next. It ends with a flourish, and Kieran paints a giant snowflake across her face. "I fucking hate you," she says, but it doesn't stop her wiping spunk from her cheek, and putting it in her mouth. SUMMARY: Bearsy's Rating: I give it 3 bones out of 5! I enjoyed the storyline and thought Jenni Lee did a terrific job with her role. I also admired the cinematography. On the other hand, no anal. Duration: 32:39 Where can I watch this filth: You can find it on redtube forwardslash 437058
Tokyo-Saint Posted 27 July, 2013 Posted 27 July, 2013 I haven't got time to write a review tonight but I want to bagsy the Dutch guy that goes round Eastern Europe paying birds on the street to suck him off down alleyways. I hope no one minds? If not, I'll do fake agent. Cheers.
dubai_phil Posted 27 July, 2013 Posted 27 July, 2013 No wonder Camoron wants to ban access to bad movie storyline web sites
sentry Posted 27 July, 2013 Posted 27 July, 2013 Love Jenni Lee. I have her email address too and she is lovely. My fav pornstar ever..... but she has just retired.
Spudders Posted 27 July, 2013 Posted 27 July, 2013 Ok cools, next time I finger a pigeon I'll video it & write a story on it as well
Bearsy Posted 28 July, 2013 Author Posted 28 July, 2013 the Dutch guy that goes round Eastern Europe paying birds on the street to suck him off down alleyways aka how tokyos dad met his mum
Tokyo-Saint Posted 28 July, 2013 Posted 28 July, 2013 Errm you can't get b1tches pregnant by letting the suck you off - can you? Bletch please confirm. Hi Sentry 1) are you a stalker? If not how did you get her email address? 2) have you ever emailed her? C) did she email back? D) please pm me any pics she emailed back E) bearsy's email address is bearsybear@gmail.com - feel free to stalk.
Bearsy Posted 28 July, 2013 Author Posted 28 July, 2013 No wonder Camoron wants to ban access to bad movie storyline web sites don't be that way phil! I mean i ain't found them yet but I'm sure there is lols in reviewing porn movies, i think this one was prob just a bit vanilla to be interesting, i may need to seek out the gonzo menstrual felching subgenre or pissface or something. I'm sure spudders can hook me up!
Tokyo-Saint Posted 28 July, 2013 Posted 28 July, 2013 Phils just p1ssed cause the muslamic thought police have already banned porn in Dubai so he can't join in. Don't worry phil, just review your favourite episode of Hollyoaks and then imagine the rest. This might help relieve some of the pressure as well.
Bearsy Posted 28 July, 2013 Author Posted 28 July, 2013 Yeah, sentry, dont tell her I said she was jizzface pls
Tokyo-Saint Posted 28 July, 2013 Posted 28 July, 2013 Don't worry bear, it won't put her off. We all think you're a jizz face but you don't mind and seem to keep coming back.
Bearsy Posted 28 July, 2013 Author Posted 28 July, 2013 Have you ever been jacking off right, but then you get a bit over-excited right and fire off big-style and some lands in ur actual mouth? No, me neither.
Saint-scooby Posted 28 July, 2013 Posted 28 July, 2013 bet you cant watch Vanessa lane from start to finish
Jonnyboy Posted 28 July, 2013 Posted 28 July, 2013 I think we need a review of a proper full length movie, the ones that claim to have a storyline. Can you do it Bear?
Tokyo-Saint Posted 28 July, 2013 Posted 28 July, 2013 I tried this already with les miserables and proved it was impossible.
scotty Posted 28 July, 2013 Posted 28 July, 2013 Check this out for a red hot porno! http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MF_6YV1vwOA
Big Bad Bob Posted 29 July, 2013 Posted 29 July, 2013 My Review :- Lesbian Squirt Cumpilation No male cum shot compilations for me, bit gay watching other men give girls jizz face. Anyways, last night I visited pornhub dot com to see if I could write a Bearsy style review and I was drawn to the "Squirting" category. Within was the "Lesbian Squirt Cumpilation" (more than one to be fair). Basically the 20min clip involved women making other women cum using a variety of stimuli, either fingers, dildos, tongues or slapping ****s. What always resulted was "female ejaculation" (I would link to Wikipedia article about said phenomenon but I am at work!!), sometimes the woman doing the stimulation decided to taste the stream of ejaculation, sometimes not. Some of the women in the cumpilation were hot, some weren't, there is one bird in particular who is good at this "female ejaculation", she is called Cytheria, she is hot! She once filled a wine glass with her cum but looked like she was in real pain when she did it. She made some other fit bird drink from the wine glass too. Some say female ejaculation is just women ****ing but I have studied many videos on the subject and have experienced it first hand and I can say that it is not. Can not give you any reviews on dialogue within said cumpilation as I had to have the volume turned down for various reasons.
Tokyo-Saint Posted 29 July, 2013 Posted 29 July, 2013 We need a score bob to know if it is worth researching ourselves or not. You are not Jonathan Ross and this isn't film 2013 ya know. We need bones out of 5 or at least percentages.
Big Bad Bob Posted 29 July, 2013 Posted 29 July, 2013 We need a score bob to know if it is worth researching ourselves or not. You are not Jonathan Ross and this isn't film 2013 ya know. We need bones out of 5 or at least percentages. I would def give it 90%, def need to go and review yourselves
Big Bad Bob Posted 29 July, 2013 Posted 29 July, 2013 picturesss also pls Here is Cytherea Here is some jealous *****
Lazlo78 Posted 9 August, 2013 Posted 9 August, 2013 Bearsy to the main board, please: http://www.saintsweb.co.uk/showthread.php?46087-Lambert-completes-fairytale-story-with-England-call-up&p=1753793#post1753793
Bearsy Posted 9 August, 2013 Author Posted 9 August, 2013 sometimes i think you guise is purpose trying to get me ban. I'm one fraction off permaban yo! Don't tempt me with main board lols!
Tokyo-Saint Posted 9 August, 2013 Posted 9 August, 2013 Seriously? Just one more? When do you get some points expired? Oh, by the way - new RIP thread coming up on the main board just as soon as I figure out who has died recently. You should pop in bear.
Bearsy Posted 9 August, 2013 Author Posted 9 August, 2013 Yo! I have 5 points go in November, so I am trying to be good behaviour bear till then! It is really hard work! I keep thinking of really great jokes about dead people and nuns or whatever and I'm having to sit on my hands!
Draino76 Posted 9 August, 2013 Posted 9 August, 2013 A very good review indeed. When I mentioned pornhub or redtube a few years ago I got infracted - so I'm glad to see this forum is moving with the times.
SNSUN Posted 9 August, 2013 Posted 9 August, 2013 REAL WIFE STORIES: Suck For My Silence STARRING: Jenni Lee Duration: 32:39 I've watched it, and would review it, but I only got 6 minutes in...
Bearsy Posted 9 August, 2013 Author Posted 9 August, 2013 (edited) I've watched it, and would review it, but I only got 6 minutes in... I watched another brazzers pornos yo! I quite like these brazzers pornos, they is good story! This one was called "Pornstar Punishment: Pay Rent or Get Bent", it was about this bird right, and she keeps mugging her landlord off by not paying her rent, and then he comes round & finds she has no money for rent but is got money for buying new shoes + handbags... so he fucks her bad! He does it like it's a punishment. It's prob a bit rapey, I mean she don't actually give a firm + resolute "No" but then lot of the time she ain't in position to talk cos of mouthful. I didn't make it all the way through tho, like SNSUN I jizzed out early. I did wind forward to end to find how it ended up, it made me lols, bitch was all ruined + exhaused and she's like panting "omg... glad... that's... over." And dude was like, "See yo tomorrow, bitch!" (he said it threatening, like hard porn sex only gets one day free rent, not whole month like she thought) Edited 9 August, 2013 by Bearsy
Tokyo-Saint Posted 9 August, 2013 Posted 9 August, 2013 I think Tony Blair outlawed rapey porn recently bear. I am not sure "I didn't hear that cause I was in Ibiza" is a credible defence in court but let's see. On the other had, rapey porn is a massive industry in Japan. They have allsorts of stuff over there. Touching up and fingering on busy trains is the most popular. They even have these clubs in shinjuku were you can go and pay loads of money to be on this fake train carriage with these hot birds. It's all disneyland like cause the carriage bumps around and stuff but isn't really going anywhere. Anyway, you can sleeze up behind the girls and touch them up and stuff. It's a kind of train spin off on lap dancing clubs I guess. I was even involved (witness) In a real life bit of train rapey touching up but that is a whole nuther story.
Bearsy Posted 9 August, 2013 Author Posted 9 August, 2013 I think I might be pervert cos I do like these porns! I mean I couldn't cope with full on rape if b1tch was crying or whatever but I like it when she is coersion, rather than just cos she really loves her boyfriend or whatever. I see another good one where mum is got arm somehow stuck in sink & step son tries to help by fetching sex lube but it accident goes all over her bumside so he has to rub it off and then wha
Tokyo-Saint Posted 9 August, 2013 Posted 9 August, 2013 It's like this bear but with what happens next. Mods - this is 100% not porn, honestly. It is like Japanese Hollyoaks. What happens next is the guy sees the error of his ways, apologies, finds god and spends the rest of his life just chilling and helping special children at baseball camp. It was a heartwarming episode if anything. To reiterate 100% not porn so any infraction for posting rape porn not only be wrong but would be stupid and inaccurate.
SNSUN Posted 9 August, 2013 Posted 9 August, 2013 It's like this bear but with what happens next. Mods - this is 100% not porn, honestly. It is like Japanese Hollyoaks. What happens next is the guy sees the error of his ways, apologies, finds god and spends the rest of his life just chilling and helping special children at baseball camp. It was a heartwarming episode if anything. To reiterate 100% not porn so any infraction for posting rape porn not only be wrong but would be stupid and inaccurate. Tell that to the pictures URL!!!
Tokyo-Saint Posted 9 August, 2013 Posted 9 August, 2013 Different meaning in Japan. Over there it means Hollyoaks and is on TV when you're having your yakisoba dinner. Don't be punishing me for cultural/religious or language differences. It's all in the MS rules SSSSUN.
CB Saint Posted 9 August, 2013 Posted 9 August, 2013 Yo! I have 5 points go in November, so I am trying to be good behaviour bear till then! It is really hard work! I keep thinking of really great jokes about dead people and nuns or whatever and I'm having to sit on my hands! Save them up for a mega post. Surely you can only get one ping per post. Simples
SNSUN Posted 9 August, 2013 Posted 9 August, 2013 Different meaning in Japan. Over there it means Hollyoaks and is on TV when you're having your yakisoba dinner. Don't be punishing me for cultural/religious or language differences. It's all in the MS rules SSSSUN. That's OK. I posted TONS of porno pictures on the Muppet Show's Wanyama thread - you knows, the one where I insinuated he has a big willy - and I covered my tracks well enough not to get infractions. Still got no infractions, being a goody 2 shoes works for me. Got 13 rep points though. Saving up for 20 so I can get that used Bearsy condom on Be-Bay. I plans to create Bearsy clones using the semen and one of the pandas at Edinburgh Zoo.
SuperMikey Posted 9 August, 2013 Posted 9 August, 2013 Rape porns are not cool Tokyo! Whoever is in charge of reputation points must subtract some from this man's total.
Tokyo-Saint Posted 9 August, 2013 Posted 9 August, 2013 (edited) What you talking about mikey? This is very censored cultural explorations of other countries. This is seriously a lot less than what can be seen on the underground(as in people reading manga on the tube) in Japan or even as I jokingly said on the TV. Japan has a lower rape levels/reports than the UK, a far lower rape level. I know which country I feel safer for my mrs to walk around in - not even close!. They do have rape porn or at least some kind of resistance/S&M porn, it is popular with females as well as males (read my post on my mate and his strangulatio obsessed mrs). Is it a good thing or a bad thing, I don't know the answer (the world seems to be moving more and more conservatively whereas when I was your age the liberal dutch approach was sposed to be the correct ones with us being the repressed Brits). Does David Cameron know the correct answer? No, I very much doubt it. He is an idiot that is trying distraction tactics.Just cause he highlights the subject suddenly does not mean that suddenly he has the correct answer. If bletch, Pep et al discuss it and decide it is a bad thing, it would hold far greater weight with me. Whatever, this is just a pic that is full of actors,paid and playing out a roll - a sexual role with a dominant and a submissive, at times males dominating females and at times the reverse with a load of sexually experienced girls attacking an inexperienced geeky guy (pm for links). Edited 9 August, 2013 by Tokyo-Saint
SuperMikey Posted 9 August, 2013 Posted 9 August, 2013 That's far too long for me to read, so i'm just going to imagine that you admitted to getting off on rape porn. Sick bastard.
Tokyo-Saint Posted 9 August, 2013 Posted 9 August, 2013 Sorry for lounging on you in muppets but not up for some heavy handed conservative mods without a defense.
SuperMikey Posted 9 August, 2013 Posted 9 August, 2013 Sorry for lounging on you in muppets but not up for some heavy handed conservative mods without a defense. Is lounging in TMS an infractable offence? If not, it should be. Fair play though, you don't want JustMike to ban you over Japanese Hollyoaks.
Tokyo-Saint Posted 9 August, 2013 Posted 9 August, 2013 (edited) lols at Mikey immediately pming for links for geek rape by hot japanese female dominants from hollyoaks. Edited 10 August, 2013 by Tokyo-Saint by instead of but - offer of free geek rape PM now passed
SuperMikey Posted 10 August, 2013 Posted 10 August, 2013 There's a reason it's called PRIVATE messaging ffs Tokyo. By the way, that fourth video with the chick dressed in Warhammer gear changed my life.
Spudders Posted 10 August, 2013 Posted 10 August, 2013 I posted TONS of porno pictures on the Muppet Show.......Still got no infractions......... Got 13 rep points though Not any more you haven't. -3 reputations points for showing off about getting away with posting porn & not getting infractions!!! I got 5 fraction points in one go recently just for posting boobs FFS!!!
Spudders Posted 10 August, 2013 Posted 10 August, 2013 Rape porns are not cool Tokyo! Whoever is in charge of reputation points must subtract some from this man's total. -1 reputation point for implying Tokyo is a man.
Spudders Posted 10 August, 2013 Posted 10 August, 2013 What you talking about mikey? This is very censored cultural explorations of other countries. This is seriously a lot less than what can be seen on the underground(as in people reading manga on the tube) in Japan or even as I jokingly said on the TV. Japan has a lower rape levels/reports than the UK, a far lower rape level. I know which country I feel safer for my mrs to walk around in - not even close!. They do have rape porn or at least some kind of resistance/S&M porn, it is popular with females as well as males (read my post on my mate and his strangulatio obsessed mrs). Is it a good thing or a bad thing, I don't know the answer (the world seems to be moving more and more conservatively whereas when I was your age the liberal dutch approach was sposed to be the correct ones with us being the repressed Brits). Does David Cameron know the correct answer? No, I very much doubt it. He is an idiot that is trying distraction tactics.Just cause he highlights the subject suddenly does not mean that suddenly he has the correct answer. If bletch, Pep et al discuss it and decide it is a bad thing, it would hold far greater weight with me. Whatever, this is just a pic that is full of actors,paid and playing out a roll - a sexual role with a dominant and a submissive, at times males dominating females and at times the reverse with a load of sexually experienced girls attacking an inexperienced geeky guy (pm for links). -2 reputations points for post in the style of Dubai Phil.
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