Spudders Posted 26 July, 2013 Share Posted 26 July, 2013 Ladies & genitalmen of the muppet show jury, I needs some help please. My ring has gone missing (no Bear, not that one, that one is still fine). I need your help to decide if it’s been stolen by stupid pigeon called Micheal. Here are the facts: -Last night when I got home, I was definitely wearing this ring as I vaguely remember having problems getting it off as my finger had gone all fat from drinking a lot of beers. -Today I can not find ring and have searched everywhere* -My flat mate has been encouraging a family of pigeons by feeding them on the window ledge and giving them names -IF the windows are left open and no one is in the room the stupid pigeons come into the rooms -Last night I feel asleep on the sofa with the window open I don’t have any proof of stupid pigeons sneaking in whilst I was sleeping and picking up ring, but I am joining the dots and I put it to you that I haven’t misplaced the ring as I was drunk, but stupid pigeon has been thieving my ring (probably Bearsy has trained pigeons to steal stuff from him to sell, silly price pikey). If anyone has any evidence, please post to help muppets Jury. Mods can I have a poll, is stupid pigeon called Micheal guilty or not guilty? If results are guilty, I will feed stupid pigeon baking soda to explode him. Ta. (*I've not looked everywhere) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 26 July, 2013 Share Posted 26 July, 2013 Pehaps it's a frame up - Michael might just be a stool pigeon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 26 July, 2013 Share Posted 26 July, 2013 Tell the truth Spudders, you was fingering a pigeon & it flew off, wasn't you Spudders. You sick fuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 26 July, 2013 Author Share Posted 26 July, 2013 Hi there Bear, good to see you back from your dogging holiday. How quickly do your stupid pigeon thief's get their merchandise back to you? Will you at least let me buy the ring back from you? (please also clean it off before selling it back) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 26 July, 2013 Share Posted 26 July, 2013 I have no defence for Michael or, indeed, prosecution but you had been warned, was this or was it not painted outside your flat? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 26 July, 2013 Share Posted 26 July, 2013 (edited) Well spudders. I don't holdout much hope for you... Here in Sandland we have a 500 Dirham note - it's about 80 quid. It is mainly blue and has about a 0.8cm band of silver down the middle of it. Anyways, I was out on the Golfcourse one afternoon, had just got my wallet out to buy a couple of Pocari Sweats & a Bacon & Egg Sarnie (Toke's can explain why everyone in Asia drinks Sweat) as for us, we eat Pig whenever we can. Anyways, back on topic my wallet was in the golf buggy and this Crow flew down, ignored the Sarnie & went straight to the wallet. Now obviously we all noticed this and did that horrid "when a disaster is happening" Slo-Mo run towards the buggy, but the little f\/cker had dived in and helped himself to the 500 Dirham note. Well, let me gtell you we were well not happy and went & demanded that the Groundstaff went out & shot every Crow on the Course (in a Green, Caring & Humanitarian way). The lads laughed & said it was common. Took us out and with a rope pulled a nest down out of a Palm Tree and low and behold it was lined with ripped shreds of 500 Dirham notes and all the shiny bits were laid out in the bottom as some sort of weird insulation/B&Q style home decor. Anyways, what I am saying is that you should head out and follow those Pigeons to their nests and it will be there. Because of the weird laws you have in the UK I suggest you wear a disguise especially a False Moustache & a hat May I suggest this could help as a template when you try and Stop that Pigeon? Edited 26 July, 2013 by dubai_phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 26 July, 2013 Author Share Posted 26 July, 2013 That's the most I've ever enjoyed a Dubai Phil post, genuinely made me chuckle. Never given this many out in one go before, but I'm gonna give you +12 reputations points Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hutch Posted 27 July, 2013 Share Posted 27 July, 2013 I once had a yellow billed kite nick a T-bone steak off my plate. Were there any of them around? And more importantly has your ring been in contact with any meat recently? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 27 July, 2013 Share Posted 27 July, 2013 That's the most I've ever enjoyed a Dubai Phil post, genuinely made me chuckle. Never given this many out in one go before, but I'm gonna give you +12 reputations points I stopped reading as soon as he said golf course, can't take any chances. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 27 July, 2013 Author Share Posted 27 July, 2013 I stopped reading as soon as he said golf course, can't take any chances. I didn't see that, over the years I've trained my mind to auto filter out the words 'Golf Course' from DPs posts & replace them with the words 'peado prowl' it just makes it easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustMike Posted 29 July, 2013 Share Posted 29 July, 2013 why have you called it Michael oh and, has your flat mate discovered you yet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 29 July, 2013 Author Share Posted 29 July, 2013 why have you called it Michael As explained in the OP, my flatmate has given the family names (I can't recall what the female or two babies are called), anyways I digress, -1 reps for not reading the OP in more detail Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 29 July, 2013 Share Posted 29 July, 2013 Meanwhile. Here is some completely random Golf. I know Tokes isn't a fan of golf but then seems everyone is getting in on the act these days. oh I am not sure Maria hit a Pigeon but she sure got a Birdie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustMike Posted 29 July, 2013 Share Posted 29 July, 2013 As explained in the OP, my flatmate has given the family names (I can't recall what the female or two babies are called), anyways I digress, -1 reps for not reading the OP in more detail Still doesn't answer why its called Michael! -1 reps for not answering said question, and a further -1 for not answering whether or not the flat mate has discovered you! (p.s. did you renew ST?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 29 July, 2013 Share Posted 29 July, 2013 Mike! Mods can't give out or take away rep points on account of them having no reps themselves. It is like when you sell your soul to the devil (or Steve Grant) you might get a nice curry now and again but you haven't got a shadow. Rough and the smooth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 29 July, 2013 Share Posted 29 July, 2013 Mike! Mods can't give out or take away rep points on account of them having no reps themselves. It is like when you sell your soul to the devil (or Steve Grant) you might get a nice curry now and again but you haven't got a shadow. Rough and the smooth. What if one of us, in a moment of pity and weakness, donate some of our reps to visimod, they can maybe have 30 secs of giving rep points until spudders undonates them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 29 July, 2013 Share Posted 29 July, 2013 They can't have them as they have to handle the fraction points. Having rep points and fraction points would make any mod all powerful, too powerful. If he went mental, no one could bring him down. Steve Grant knows this, fears this and has therefore outlawed it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Convict Colony Posted 29 July, 2013 Share Posted 29 July, 2013 Meanwhile. Here is some completely random Golf. I know Tokes isn't a fan of golf but then seems everyone is getting in on the act these days. oh I am not sure Maria hit a Pigeon but she sure got a Birdie You had me interested when it came up "Head presents" and lost me when i realised this wasn't the porno review thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 29 July, 2013 Share Posted 29 July, 2013 You had me interested when it came up "Head presents" and lost me when i realised this wasn't the porno review thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 29 July, 2013 Share Posted 29 July, 2013 You had me interested when it came up "Head presents" and lost me when i realised this wasn't the porno review thread. Hmmmmmm But IF ONLY Maria WAS in a porno that we could review and review and review. Oh sod it time for a cold shower Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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