dubai_phil Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 http://news.uk.msn.com/trending-blog/mans-horror-as-he-is-bitten-on-the-penis-by-a-snake-hiding-in-the-toilet For many people, sitting on the toilet is a time when you should be able to relax. But one man in Israel discovered in the most unpleasant manner possible that he had company while sitting on the throne. Men might want to look away now – because sat there curled up in the toilet bowl was a snake, which promptly bit him on the penis. It is not surprising the 35-year-old, who was not named, ‘ran out of the room in horror’ when the reptile bit his member. Luckily for him blood tests showed the snake was not poisonous, Israeli media reported. And although the hospital said he clearly had bite marks on his penis, the victim is said to be in a good condition. Yikes. What are your memories of things in Bowls? I had a summer job during school time as a cleaner at an Army base. We had to clean the bogs. We found a long brown snake that stretched from the bowl to touch the seat edge..... Over to you note I only started this thread as I couldn't do the new Octoporn food thread from Japan while at work Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 Why is this thread in the Muppet Show? Surely it's worthy of serious discussion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 15 July, 2013 Author Share Posted 15 July, 2013 Why is this thread in the Muppet Show? Surely it's worthy of serious discussion. I felt that this issue spanned the entire political spectrum. I was extremely concerned that if I had put it in The Lounge then it would have descended into an argument about the state of the crappers at Unite HQ or whether Ed's Balls would get bitten by the snake first of whether the snake would have more sense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 I haven't sat down on a ****ter since reading Dreamcatcher, didn't like them there ****weasels... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mulletsaint Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 I haven't sat down on a ****ter since reading Dreamcatcher, didn't like them there ****weasels... Good book, ****e film. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 Good book, ****e film. Same can be said for most of King's TV/big screen adaptations, exceptions are "Rita Hayworth and then Shawshank Redemption" and the Green Mile, I just hope they leave the Dark Tower off of TV. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mulletsaint Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 Same can be said for most of King's TV/big screen adaptations, exceptions are "Rita Hayworth and then Shawshank Redemption" and the Green Mile, I just hope they leave the Dark Tower off of TV. Don't forget The Body/Stand By Me and Misery. You're right though, although Dreamcatcher's a particularly bad one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 Don't forget The Body/Stand By Me and Misery. You're right though, although Dreamcatcher's a particularly bad one. IT is worse and don't get me started on The Tommyknockers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 Dunno, but this is my bidet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 15 July, 2013 Author Share Posted 15 July, 2013 This thread needs Toke's & his experiences with those Japanese crappers that wash & blow dry your bum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mulletsaint Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 This thread needs Toke's & his experiences with those Japanese crappers that wash & blow dry your bum Crikey, sounds a bit dangerous. Imagine if you hadn't quite finished... ****e everywhere! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 One of my most recent experiences of Japanese toilets. 1) Previous messy night out with an old mate drinking nomi hodi (means more or less a free bar - just pay up front). 2) back at 4:30 am 3) Got up at 6:45 for the bullet train - forgot about that 4) Rush hour Tokyo style - hangover starting to kick in, definite spins. 5) Got to main station where bullet train was. Spinning badly. Think a **** might help. Make excuses and run off to release the hounds. 6) Massive and I mean massive queue for the ****ters in this huge toilet. 7) After ages a booth comes free - sh!t it is one of them low tech hole in the ground numbers. 8 ) Usher some Japanese salary man type to go ahead of me and take the hole in the ground number. He can't believe his luck. 9) Another booth comes free and old nylon suit style salary man come out. My dread begins. 10) I walk into a firestorm. As I enter the booth my senses start to pick up the fragrance of the last 12 guys sh!ts. Suddenly I fully understand that this toilet has taken a rush hour pounding. 11) Immediately puke. 12) Flush and leave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 Im not sure where the tits references or bear baiting was in that post. Poor form Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 15 July, 2013 Author Share Posted 15 July, 2013 One of my most recent experiences of Japanese toilets. 1) Previous messy night out with an old mate drinking nomi hodi (means more or less a free bar - just pay up front). 2) back at 4:30 am 3) Got up at 6:45 for the bullet train - forgot about that 4) Rush hour Tokyo style - hangover starting to kick in, definite spins. 5) Got to main station where bullet train was. Spinning badly. Think a **** might help. Make excuses and run off to release the hounds. 6) Massive and I mean massive queue for the ****ters in this huge toilet. 7) After ages a booth comes free - sh!t it is one of them low tech hole in the ground numbers. 8 ) Usher some Japanese salary man type to go ahead of me and take the hole in the ground number. He can't believe his luck. 9) Another booth comes free and old nylon suit style salary man come out. My dread begins. 10) I walk into a firestorm. As I enter the booth my senses start to pick up the fragrance of the last 12 guys sh!ts. Suddenly I fully understand that this toilet has taken a rush hour pounding. 11) Immediately puke. 12) Flush and leave. Japan WC 2002. Fly in to Narita with mate overnight from Dubai. Hotel room not ready until 2pm. Kick around town, mate refuses to eat anything except McD's or KFC (he likes football doesn't do travelling) Eventually check into hotel room where my feet are resting on the TV cupboard as the bed is so short. He takes trip to crapper. Entire Bathroom is tiny & like a Plastic Moulded insert into the room. The Big Mac emerges with suitable sound effects and expressions of pain. Then Bump,, ouch, Ah, Whir ARRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH Door flies open violently ripping it from hinges and the whole plastic thing tilts. Mate with shreddies around ankles ARRRGHH (from me) FFS mate what's up? I pulled the chain to ease the smell halfway through and this thing sprayed my arse. ROFLS from me and call to maintenance to mend the bathroom. Think he went the whole 10 days without having another dump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 .... Nope, not real story, no golf references... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 15 July, 2013 Author Share Posted 15 July, 2013 Nope, not real story, no golf references... Hmmm. Sorry. We travelled on up to Sapporo where we had a massive party after beating the Argies (& Wayne Bridge came on as sub) Our flight was the following day so we had to move from the City Centre hotel by train to a second hotel. It was a Golf resort hotel. I didn't have my clubs/trainers or Golf Shorts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 Hmmm. Sorry. We travelled on up to Sapporo where we had a massive party after beating the Argies (& Wayne Bridge came on as sub) Our flight was the following day so we had to move from the City Centre hotel by train to a second hotel. It was a Golf resort hotel. I didn't have my clubs/trainers or Golf Shorts. Hmm, tenuous to say the least, will have to defer to rep point judges to see if they're 110Persaints or not... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 15 July, 2013 Author Share Posted 15 July, 2013 Hmm, tenuous to say the least, will have to defer to rep point judges to see if they're 110Persaints or not... Ouch. Well it was the same hotel that the Irish Football team were staying in. They had broken the Jacuzzi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 Is this why Roy Keane stormed off home? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 I once saw a iphone 3 in the toilet, unfortunately it was mine that I'd dropped Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mulletsaint Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 I once saw a iphone 3 in the toilet, unfortunately it was mine that I'd dropped That'll teach you to 'browse' the web while taking a leak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Bad Bob Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 I once saw a iphone 3 in the toilet, unfortunately it was mine that I'd dropped No big loss that then, a crapple product in the crapper... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 15 July, 2013 Share Posted 15 July, 2013 Yeah those crappy iphones will never catch on will they bob! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Convict Colony Posted 23 July, 2013 Share Posted 23 July, 2013 my poo's, record attempt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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