Master Bates Posted 3 December, 2008 Share Posted 3 December, 2008 To the tune of 'Winter Wonderland' Lacy things -- the wife is missin', Didn't ask -- her permission, I'm wearin' her clothes, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear. In the store -- there's a teddy, Little straps -- like spaghetti, It holds me so tight, Like handcuffs at night, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear. In the office there's a guy named Melvin, He pretends that I am Murphy Brown. He'll say, "Are you ready?" I'll say,"Whoa, Man!" "Let's wait until our wives are out of town!" Later on, if you wanna, We can dress -- like Madonna, Put on some eyeshade, And join the parade, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear! Lacy things... missin', Didn't ask... permission, Wearin' her clothes, Her silk pantyhose, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear. Walkin' 'round in women's underwear, Walkin' 'round in women's underwear! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 3 December, 2008 Share Posted 3 December, 2008 I worry about you Bates, I really do 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 3 December, 2008 Share Posted 3 December, 2008 I am currently wearing an item of my girlfriends clothing. Socks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 3 December, 2008 Share Posted 3 December, 2008 (edited) Rudolph the Brown Nose Reindeer Bottom of his reindeer class Wanted to be sleigh leader So he started kissing Santa's ass All of the other reindeer Really learned to hate his gut Every time they saw Santa Rudolph's nose was up his butt Then one foggy Christmas Eve Blitzen had had enough Took Rudolph out behind the shed And got the elves to beat him up Oh, how the reindeer loved it As Rudolph screamed out in pain Rudolph the brown-nose reindeer He'll never kiss a butt again. Edited 3 December, 2008 by badgerx16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mack rill Posted 3 December, 2008 Share Posted 3 December, 2008 To the choon of A lot like Christmas, Its beginning to look a lot like syphilis, All around my nose, I picked him up in a bar gate den, He but ****ed me once and then He lodged a candy Kaine up my asshole, Its beginning to look allot like syphilis Boy is my ares sore But the prettiest sight to see, Is his pecker to his Knees, When I'm on all fours, A pair of buffalo boots, And a pistol that shoots Is much to much to ignore, Fist well go walking then well start talking, But i hope he will want do more. And mum and dad can hardly Waite for me to go and **** a whore, Eeeeeeeeeeeer, Its beginning to look a lot like syphilis, But i still like boys more, But the ugliest sight to see, Is the canker that will be, Round my Owen back door, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint_stevo Posted 3 December, 2008 Share Posted 3 December, 2008 i like to wear frenchies. Rule 1 anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 4 December, 2008 Author Share Posted 4 December, 2008 (edited) Frosty the pervert in a trench coat he did go to a the school yard to expose his d*ck and balls made of snow frosty the pervert all the kids he liked to watch his d*ck did grow when he packed snow on his cold and icy crotch there must have must have been some magic when he stroked his frozen meat cause frosty started moaning loud and it began to sleet frosty the pervert was as glad as he could get he threw away his corn cob pipe and lit a ciggerette frosty the pervert didnt want to go to jail he began to run while dripping cum and the cops picked up his trail down to the village his d*ck melting in his hand running here and there all around the square yelling "catch me if you can." they chased him down the streets of town right to a ?? squad cop who shoved a night stick right up his ass and frosty screamed "dont stop OOOO!!" frosty the pervert was locked up that very day but he did not cry as he waved good bye knowing he'd be back someday beating his meat all over the streets look at frosty go sliding his hands all over his glands his cum, as white as snow (To The Tune Of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”) Oh you better not shout, You better not cry, You better not pout, I'm tellin' you why; Daddy's home and I think he's drunk. He's walkin' real slow, He slurs when he speaks, I don't even think He’s shaved in two weeks, Daddy's home and boy is he drunk. He spent most of our money On Johnny Walker Black And then he took all of the rest And lost it at the track. Sooo.... You better not pout, You better not cry, I don't like that look in his eye, Daddy's home and I think he's... Daddy's home and boy is he... Daddy's home and he's really drunk! (To The Tune "Jingle Bells") Dashing through the snow in my rusty Chevrolet. Down the road I go, sliding all the way. I need new piston rings. I need some new snow tires. My car is held together by a piece of chicken wire! Chorus Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away. I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay. The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay. Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet! I went to IGA to get some Christmas cheer. I just passed up my left front tire and it's gettin' hard to steer. Speeding down the highway, right past the county cops. I have to drag my swampers just to get the car to stop. Chorus Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away. I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay. The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay. Oh, what fun it is to drive this rusty Chevrolet! Bouncing through the snowdrifts in a big, blue cloud of smoke. People laugh as I drive by; I wonder what's the joke! I have to get to Wal-Mart to pick up my layaway, Cause Santa's comin' soon in his big, old, rusty sleigh! Chorus Oh, rust and smoke, the heater's broke, the door just blew away. I light a match to see the dash and then I start to pray-ay. The frame is bent, the muffler went, the radio's okay. Oh, what fun it is to drive this rus-ty Chev-ro-let! On the twelfth day of Christmas, My drive through gave to me: Twelve bags of Pepto, Eleven pounds of blubber, Ten baked potatoes, Nine polish hot dogs, Eight bowls of chili, Seven pints of cole slaw, Six chocolate milkshakes, Five onion rings, Four Egg McMuffins, Three Biggie Fries, Two Happy Meals, and a Big Bacon Classic with cheese. Edited 4 December, 2008 by Master Bates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scott_saints Posted 4 December, 2008 Share Posted 4 December, 2008 I've felt the hate rise up in me... Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves... I wander out where you can't see... Inside my shell, I wait and bleed... Goodbye! I wipe it off on tile, the light is brighter this time Everything is turning black for me. My eyes are red and gold, the hair is standing straight up This is not the way I pictured me I can't control my shakes How the hell did I get here? Something about this, so very wrong... I have to laugh out loud, I wish I didn't like this Is it a dream or a memory? I've felt the hate rise up in me... Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves... I wander over where you can't see... Inside my shell, I wait and bleed... Get outta my head cuz I don't need this Why I didn't I see this? I'm a victim - Manchurian candidate I have sinned by just Makin' my mind up and takin' your breath away I've felt the hate rise up in me... Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves... I wander out where you can't see... Inside my shell, I wait and bleed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 4 December, 2008 Author Share Posted 4 December, 2008 I've felt the hate rise up in me... Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves... I wander out where you can't see... Inside my shell, I wait and bleed... Goodbye! I wipe it off on tile, the light is brighter this time Everything is turning black for me. My eyes are red and gold, the hair is standing straight up This is not the way I pictured me I can't control my shakes How the hell did I get here? Something about this, so very wrong... I have to laugh out loud, I wish I didn't like this Is it a dream or a memory? I've felt the hate rise up in me... Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves... I wander over where you can't see... Inside my shell, I wait and bleed... Get outta my head cuz I don't need this Why I didn't I see this? I'm a victim - Manchurian candidate I have sinned by just Makin' my mind up and takin' your breath away I've felt the hate rise up in me... Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves... I wander out where you can't see... Inside my shell, I wait and bleed... F**king class song, haven't heard it in ages. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 4 December, 2008 Share Posted 4 December, 2008 To the tune of Mistletoe and Wine: DREAMING OF A SCOUSE CHRISTMAS.... Christmas time, drunkenness and crime, Children playing - in filth and grime, With cars on fire - and trainees under tree Time to rejoice - in be-ing scally, It's a time for stealing, a time for receiving, Knock-off gear - worra great feelin Why pay top dollar - yer can nick it for free, Just like our lecky, - gas and TV Christmas time, píssups all the time Nicking ciggies, - spirits and wine Wearing-shell-suits and Nykees - all knocked off gear It's great getting píssed - on someone else's beer Its a time for drinkin - six packs of Stella Dat yer got - from some dodgy Fella Christmas is sound - Christmas is best God bless our Cilla - and the DHSS Christmas time - time to joy-ride Then go and visit - family inside With Dad on a six stretch - and sis up the duff This 'City of Culcher' can get pretty rough So next time your driving - through Liverpool-city You may just know why - the streets look ****ty So keep a sharp eye out - for those dodgy deals But don't drive too slow - or they'll pinch all four wheels Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 4 December, 2008 Author Share Posted 4 December, 2008 Christmas time, valium and wine, Kids indulging in petty crime, Dad's on the crack and mum's off her tree, Christmas is great when you come from Pompey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint_stevo Posted 4 December, 2008 Share Posted 4 December, 2008 christmas songs make me wanna visit beechy head Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 4 December, 2008 Share Posted 4 December, 2008 And not forgetting the very seasonal lines... "You're a bum, you're a drunk, you're an old slut on junk, Lying there almost dead, on a drip in that bed" "You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot, happy Christmas,- your arse, I pray God it's our last". Cheery stuff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mack rill Posted 4 December, 2008 Share Posted 4 December, 2008 silent fart! holy fart! Remain calm release your bomb, Round the kitchen up from your chair, Little atoms of poop in the air, See the cloud slowly creeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeep, Watch all your friends breath in deeeeeeeeeeeeeep Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 23 November, 2023 Author Share Posted 23 November, 2023 Merry Christmas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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