SO16_Saint Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 I found out yesterday that the Mrs is expecting our second child. Would be interested to know from those who have more than 1 child the difference having 2 makes. It's difficult to imagine loving another child as much as our first, but I'm sure when it arrives, we will. Any useful comments would be much appreciated! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingeletiss Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 Congrats to the both of you. A big difference is that you will have a new baby, and the older child. You must make time for both, and involve the older child as much as is practicable. Most people you meet, will tell you they don't have a favourite, but you do, just don't show it Enjoy the experience, they soon grow up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint_clark Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 How old is your first child now? I'd imagine that would make a big difference in how they react to a newborn in the house (not speaking from experience). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Sanchez Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 Congratulations! My wife is expecting in September, our first but I know that the expense never changes regardless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SO16_Saint Posted 13 April, 2013 Author Share Posted 13 April, 2013 Thanks! Our first is currently 16 months, and will be just over 2 when the new one comes. I obviously want to ensure that the arrival of number 2 doesn't take all the attention away from our first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trousers Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 Congratulations! I've got two...aged 12 and 15. A nightmare together, great when they're on their own... Good luck! Edit: to be fair, they do get on together better now than the first 10 years....I sense I'm not helping here.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niceandfriendly Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 A burden you'll never ever escape from. Congratulations and the best of luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dan17 Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 Thanks! Our first is currently 16 months, and will be just over 2 when the new one comes. I obviously want to ensure that the arrival of number 2 doesn't take all the attention away from our first. Firstly - massive congrats!! My son was 27 months old when our daughter was born. Your eldest will struggle a little bit to begin with when all this attention is mounted on something they have never seen before. We tried to be very careful about people making a fuss when our eldest was about. One thing that did help is that we gave him a present 'from his little sister' when we brought her home, which actually helped a lot and he still talks about the car that she bought him now (ten months later). I will not lie to you.....having a second is a whole new world of.....erm...... joy Nah seriously, its all good but life seems to get busier ten fold. Me and my missus constantly say to each other something along the lines of 'Why the hell did it seem such hard work having one? Its a doddle compared to having two'.... You'll be fine lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SO16_Saint Posted 13 April, 2013 Author Share Posted 13 April, 2013 Thanks Dan. That's a great idea about the present from the baby - will definitely do that. Money is obviously a concern - but I'm told having a second child doesn't necessarily mean it is twice as expensive. It just can't be, otherwise were fooked!! We're just getting to the stage of sleeping through now, so will be strange to have to go back to sleepless nights again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sussexsaint Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 Big congrats to you both. We have a 12, 10 and 9 month old. Last one was our mid life crisis. I couldn't imagine I had room in my heart for another kid but as soon as you see them they become part of you forever. It's hard work to be sure but you won't regret a second of it. Those without kids may be financially better off but they are infinitely poorer in the end. Good luck bud Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
View From The Top Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 11, 8 & 6. It's never a case of loving one more than the other. I worship my 3 in equal measure. I pity those without kids as they are the greatest gift ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
70's Mike Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 Congratulations although it was a long time ago(25 and 18) i remember not worrying so much when the 2ns one cried Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergei Gotsmanov Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 Congratulations. Harder work to begin with then they take care of each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 Congratulations! There was a gap of 2yrs 3 months between my first and second and 4 and a half years between 2nd and 3rd. Both my daughters have recently had second children and the biggest difficulty they're finding is that the babies are not as easy as the first children were. I guess we all forget quickly the difficult bits. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 congrats. I have 3 girls 16, 15 and 11 The 11 yr old is for sale if anyone is interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 I've got two girls, 17 and 13. Not a bad age gap at all. Seems like they are a lot closer in age most of the time. Second one is loads easier. Don't care what anyone says, no-one really knows what they're doing with their first kid, which is probably why eldest kids cop the most crap. The experience of having the first one will make you a lot less fretful around the second one, and that applies throughout life. You'll know what you're doing baby-wise, I expect the second one will hit all his or her social "firsts" at a much earlier age than your eldest kid, such as being allowed out without parental supervision. Have to say, my kids are pretty independent these days. The eldest is studying for her A-levels at the moment, so is either doing revision or relaxing from revision. Youngest is quite athletic and buggers off to some form of dance three times a week. In short, it'll be hard work in the early years, but a lot easier in the long run. Think it's a good thing for kids to have siblings too; probably the best present you can give them as a parent, even if it takes them 30 years to realise it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Sanchez Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 I am ****iing myself to be honest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 I am ****iing myself to be honest. The quiet nobility of parenthood is one of the most edifying things that humanity offers, I reckon. Super to be head of your own little clan, even if members of that clan do not necessarily happen to show you the kind of kingly respect you may think you're accorded and even if they do end up running your life It's also the only confirmed form of immortality going. Alright, it's vicarious - but I'll go a lot easier to my grave knowing that bits of me will survive through my kids and that someone, somewhere will be getting a withering response from the well-trained kids. My top tip for being a parent (speaking from scarred experience). Don't be a smart-arse in front of your kids. They end up being able to do everything better than you. Over time it'll come back to bite you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 The main difference is that you will have 2 that need ferrying to footie practice / dance rehearsals / skating / etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
View From The Top Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 The main difference is that you will have 2 that need ferrying to footie practice / dance rehearsals / skating / etc. That is so true! Today we've had, for the 3 of them at various times, football practice, swimming lessons, dance lessons and district cricket. We have our week planned like a military operation to make sure our 3 are at the right place at the right time for the right thing with the right gear. Wouldn't have it any other way. Monday: District cricket nets (winter only) Tuesday: Kick boxing Wednesday: U12s cricket (home games or training if away game a different night that week). Away games various nights Mon - Fri. Thursday: Football training Friday: Club cricket nets Saturday: football practice, swimming lessons, dance lessons and evening indoor U13s cricket league (winter only) Sunday: Football matches (Sept - April) U11s league cricket (April - July) cup cricket (May - September) + District / County cricket (May - September) My wife & I no longer have an independent life! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint-scooby Posted 13 April, 2013 Share Posted 13 April, 2013 Made a big difference, ie work holidays life then starts to get expensive, he is 16 now the eldest is now driving, two more at 13 "twins" they are the costly ones now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norwaysaint Posted 14 April, 2013 Share Posted 14 April, 2013 Our girls are two and a half years apart. They annoy each other like nobody else can and are closer friends that anybody else could be. I am very glad we had a second so that whatever happens to us, they'll have each other. The oddest thing is how different they are. I know that sounds sort of obvious, but you sort of expect it to be the same again with the next child, they're still half you and half your wife genetically. Yet somehow, just like you aren't the same as your brothers and sisters, they are utterly different characters. You save a bit on clothes, toys and stuff if they're the same gender. One thing that's very hard is remembering to take as many pictures and films, or get professional pictures or whatever done when the second one comes. You sort of go over the top with the first one, but don't really get around to doing it as much with the next. Make sure you include the elder sibling in looking after the baby from the start, then they will really develop a sense of responsibility. Our eldest is only seven, but I'd trust her to do things properly more than I'd trust myself now. We also had a present for the eldest waiting when she came to the hospital, that was "from her baby sister". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Who? Posted 14 April, 2013 Share Posted 14 April, 2013 One to two children was fine. 2 to 3 I could not believe the difference. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eurosaint Posted 14 April, 2013 Share Posted 14 April, 2013 2 x aggro 2 x expense 2 x worry 2 x joy Nb. Best to get your vasectomy booked soon in case she gets broody again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint boggy Posted 15 April, 2013 Share Posted 15 April, 2013 there is 2 yrs and 11 days between my 2 boys (10 & . I was always fairly easy going when it came to parenting my first (not a panicky or overbearing mother) and it was the same with the 2nd....probably even more-so ,actually. Both my babies were very content and had no problems with Collick or Reflux or anything, so i could enjoy them without too much hassle. as said previously, you have a lot more confidence in what you are doing and how things need to be done....Routine is the key!...establish a routine and you're sorted. Its a lot tougher with the 2nd when it comes to taking a nap during the day, as its pretty impossible with a toddler running around and you'll be bloody lucky if they both happen to fall asleep at the same time! LOL.I don't actually remember buying a gift for my eldest "from his baby brother" but its a good idea all the same. as others have said, get your eldest as involved as much as you can do passing nappies/wipes, bottle-feeding etc. It all helps with their bond. Also involve them in the pregnancy , show them scan pictures, get them to talk to the 'bump'. And don't worry about whether you can love another child as much as you love your first, believe me THAT thought goes through every prospective parent's mind......and I will pass on some words of wisdom that a friend of mine said to me when I was carrying my 2nd child.......the love you have in your heart for your 1st child isn't divided when you have another...... it's multiplied.... :-)...... Best of luck , its not easy but nothing "worth it" ever is,eh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colinjb Posted 15 April, 2013 Share Posted 15 April, 2013 Cannot add anything other then congratulations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SO16_Saint Posted 16 April, 2013 Author Share Posted 16 April, 2013 Thanks all - very sound advice and making me look forward to it even more! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctoroncall Posted 16 April, 2013 Share Posted 16 April, 2013 I have two girls, six and eight and it's fine, make sure they have individually time as well as family time. As they are girls and same build the clothes for the first fit the second but we also get the odd new piece for the youngest. You'll be a bit more relaxed with the second having gone through the first with nappies, bedtime, and crying etc but it's interesting to see the differences in personality come out only after a few months. Congrats and enjoy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BadgerBadger Posted 16 April, 2013 Share Posted 16 April, 2013 (edited) I enjoyed my second one more during his first few years due to the comfort zone I was in of having already been there and not 'rabbit in the headlights' mode, all that's been said is great info - enjoy the ride Edited 16 April, 2013 by BadgerBadger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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