What Are You Watching..?

[Bearsy]

So every time I have mentioned sweat empowered chicken, escaped goats or command and control, you have just thought I was being dumb Pap?

 

awkward silence yo! Will no-one tell tokyos we don't think he's dumb???

[Tokyo-Saint]

Make like a tree and fuck off bear.

[pap]

So every time I have mentioned sweat empowered chicken, escaped goats or command and control, you have just thought I was being dumb Pap?

 

Nah, I'm keenly aware that I'm well out of touch with stuff. If in doubt, leave it out.

 

The alternative is making a fuss about something you know nothing about, like when Turkish put a Papa Lazarou avatar up and certain posters thought he was trying to evoke Al Jolson.

[CHAPEL END CHARLIE]

I dug out a early Columbo story: 'The Most Crucial Game' this morning, and it's a cracker.

 

The late/great Robert Culp (who would return to the series twice more) plays the Chairman of a major League Football club who desires to rid himself of the spoilt brat who owns the franchise. As usual in Columbo he shows his enemy no mercy. While it is commonplace for the protagonist in these stories to establish a near watertight alibi for themselves, the one Culp contrives here is so elaborate and convincing that if I had not already seen him bash his victims head in with a lump of ice (always a great murder weapon) then I too wouldn't doubt it! Our hero however is harder to fool ...

 

The crimes Columbo investigates happen in a place that is far removed from the sordid reality of most real world killings. The rich and powerful tend to buy their way out of trouble rather resort to murder. But just supposing you could plan a real crime half as well as this fictional one is then I wouldn't mind betting that you'd get away with it more often than not.

 

Not that I want to put ideas in his head, but if you ever see Ralph Krueger sneaking out of the Directors Box during the first half of a match at St Mary's disguised as a ice-cream man ... well Katharina Liebherr better watch out is all I will say.

[CHAPEL END CHARLIE]

I dug out a early Columbo story: 'The Most Crucial Game' this morning, and it's a cracker.

 

The late/great Robert Culp (who would return to the series twice more) plays the Chairman of a major League Football club who desires to rid himself of the spoilt brat who owns the franchise. As usual in Columbo he shows his enemy no mercy. While it is commonplace for the protagonist in these stories to establish a near watertight alibi for themselves, the one Culp contrives here is so elaborate and convincing that if I had not already seen him bash his victims head in with a lump of ice (always a great murder weapon) then I too wouldn't doubt it! Our hero however is harder to fool ...

 

The crimes Columbo investigates happen in a place that is far removed from the sordid reality of most real world killings. The rich and powerful tend to buy their way out of trouble rather resort to murder. But just supposing you could plan a real crime half as well as this fictional one is then I wouldn't mind betting that you'd get away with it more often than not.

 

Not that I want to put ideas in his head, but if you ever see Ralph Krueger sneaking out of the Directors Box during the first half of a match at St Mary's disguised as a ice-cream man ... well Katharina Liebherr better watch out is all I will say.

[pap]

I dug out a early Columbo story: 'The Most Crucial Game' this morning, and it's a cracker.

 

The late/great Robert Culp (who would return to the series twice more) plays the Chairman of a major League Football club who desires to rid himself of the spoilt brat who owns the franchise. As usual in Columbo he shows his enemy no mercy. While it is commonplace for the protagonist in these stories to establish a near watertight alibi for themselves, the one Culp contrives here is so elaborate and convincing that if I had not already seen him bash his victims head in with a lump of ice (always a great murder weapon) then I too wouldn't doubt it! Our hero however is harder to fool ...

 

The crimes Columbo investigates happen in a place that is far removed from the sordid reality of most real world killings. The rich and powerful tend to buy their way out of trouble rather resort to murder. But just supposing you could plan a real crime half as well as this fictional one is then I wouldn't mind betting that you'd get away with it more often than not.

 

Not that I want to put ideas in his head, but if you ever see Ralph Krueger sneaking out of the Directors Box during the first half of a match at St Mary's disguised as a ice-cream man ... well Katharina Liebherr better watch out is all I will say.

 

Haven't seen the episode, but I wonder, does it go like this?

 

Columbo immediately identifies suspect.

Columbo spends the vast majority of the episode badgering suspect (just one more thing, etc)

Columbo eventually tricks suspect into coming clean, and makes arrest.

 

The above can be used as a review of any Columbo show.

[pap]

I dug out a early Columbo story: 'The Most Crucial Game' this morning, and it's a cracker.

 

The late/great Robert Culp (who would return to the series twice more) plays the Chairman of a major League Football club who desires to rid himself of the spoilt brat who owns the franchise. As usual in Columbo he shows his enemy no mercy. While it is commonplace for the protagonist in these stories to establish a near watertight alibi for themselves, the one Culp contrives here is so elaborate and convincing that if I had not already seen him bash his victims head in with a lump of ice (always a great murder weapon) then I too wouldn't doubt it! Our hero however is harder to fool ...

 

The crimes Columbo investigates happen in a place that is far removed from the sordid reality of most real world killings. The rich and powerful tend to buy their way out of trouble rather resort to murder. But just supposing you could plan a real crime half as well as this fictional one is then I wouldn't mind betting that you'd get away with it more often than not.

 

Not that I want to put ideas in his head, but if you ever see Ralph Krueger sneaking out of the Directors Box during the first half of a match at St Mary's disguised as a ice-cream man ... well Katharina Liebherr better watch out is all I will say.

 

Haven't seen the episode, but I wonder, does it go like this?

 

Columbo immediately identifies suspect.

Columbo spends the vast majority of the episode badgering suspect (just one more thing, etc)

Columbo eventually tricks suspect into coming clean, and makes arrest.

 

The above can be used as a review of any Columbo show.

[Tokyo-Saint]

My mum loves Columbo, this means that my childhood was spent watching every single episode and what Pap describes. My mrs also loves Columbo so I am now in the process of re-watching every single episode. From my excessive knowledge of the show, Columbo pretty much stalks who he thinks done it until they give up and confess. He is such an annoying fecker, I think I have confessed to a few murders myself along the way just to get him to stop. The only 'trick' he seems to do, much to my mum's/mrs's amusement is to dress like a tramp, "oh look how they under estimate him just cause he is dressed like a tramp" they say with such joy. If only Mido had thought the same about Luggy, we might have had 6 months of Egyptian joy.

[Tokyo-Saint]

My mum loves Columbo, this means that my childhood was spent watching every single episode and what Pap describes. My mrs also loves Columbo so I am now in the process of re-watching every single episode. From my excessive knowledge of the show, Columbo pretty much stalks who he thinks done it until they give up and confess. He is such an annoying fecker, I think I have confessed to a few murders myself along the way just to get him to stop. The only 'trick' he seems to do, much to my mum's/mrs's amusement is to dress like a tramp, "oh look how they under estimate him just cause he is dressed like a tramp" they say with such joy. If only Mido had thought the same about Luggy, we might have had 6 months of Egyptian joy.

[Bearsy]

If columbo was investigating the london riots he would have arrested the Queen. That is what i think bout Columbo. He is prejudice against ruling classes, like George Galloway. Seems strange for Amercians to lionize such blatant communist manifesto, but what you gonna do. I would like to have seen at least one episode where it turns out not to be lord of the manor and e.g. the murder was done by random crack addict hobo. Columbo would prob let crack addict hobo off with warning!

[Bearsy]

If columbo was investigating the london riots he would have arrested the Queen. That is what i think bout Columbo. He is prejudice against ruling classes, like George Galloway. Seems strange for Amercians to lionize such blatant communist manifesto, but what you gonna do. I would like to have seen at least one episode where it turns out not to be lord of the manor and e.g. the murder was done by random crack addict hobo. Columbo would prob let crack addict hobo off with warning!

[TheCholulaKid]

Someone last week reminded me of an amazing slice of Americana so I had a look on YouTube to see if I could find it.

 

Brit Elliot Bristow, began a 12 year road trip around America in 1968 during which he captured over 75 hours of Super 8 footage.

 

Some of you older readers may have seen Elliot's footage, which was aired on Channel 4 in the late 80's / early 90's in 'Road Dreams.' There were 6 x 25 minute episodes of which I've included the first here.

 

If like me, you're a sucker for road movies...you'll love these...low-fi but high on atmosphere.

 

 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Road_Dreams

 

That looks awesome. I'm most definitely a sucker for an American roadtrip. Cheers for that.

 

Just finished Season 1 of House of Cards (Netflix version) - v.good etc etc....got David Fincher stamped all over it.

[TheCholulaKid]

Someone last week reminded me of an amazing slice of Americana so I had a look on YouTube to see if I could find it.

 

Brit Elliot Bristow, began a 12 year road trip around America in 1968 during which he captured over 75 hours of Super 8 footage.

 

Some of you older readers may have seen Elliot's footage, which was aired on Channel 4 in the late 80's / early 90's in 'Road Dreams.' There were 6 x 25 minute episodes of which I've included the first here.

 

If like me, you're a sucker for road movies...you'll love these...low-fi but high on atmosphere.

 

 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Road_Dreams

 

That looks awesome. I'm most definitely a sucker for an American roadtrip. Cheers for that.

 

Just finished Season 1 of House of Cards (Netflix version) - v.good etc etc....got David Fincher stamped all over it.

[KelvinsRightGlove]

House of Cards is great.

 

The gf and I absolutely stormed through the first series of Utopia at the weekend.

 

Really enjoyed it, not entirely sure I know what the eff is going on - but I like it.

[KelvinsRightGlove]

House of Cards is great.

 

The gf and I absolutely stormed through the first series of Utopia at the weekend.

 

Really enjoyed it, not entirely sure I know what the eff is going on - but I like it.

[pap]

Honest Trailer : Game of Thrones.

 

 

Lots of spoilers, but top quality for those that watch the show

[dubai_phil]

Crikey.

 

New series just started here. Cinemax USA Directed by Stephen Soderburgh and starring Clive Owen.

 

No idea whether it is on in the UK yet or what, think we are a bit late to it.

 

So what is it?

 

Imagine House as a Period Drama.

 

Clive Owen says he was hooked as soon as he read the script, in an interview published locally he said "the first 7 minutes set the tone for the whole series"

 

Well I have to say, 7 seconds in and we get NAKED WOMAN - always an outstanding highlight when watching TV in a Muslim Country. By around 5 minutes Mrs D_P is going very green, 6.5 I am thinking I may have to look away or barf. (No spoliers it just shows you the period and the level of "technology"

 

So, I read the reviews, they are very high, the viewer numbers on Cable in the US are very low (but so is the Network that has the rights). But after one episode the verdict from Mrs D_P was "bloody hell, this has the makings of a bloody good show"

 

So why the House reference? My only annoyance is the fact that it seems once again the (prospective) Miracle worker Doctor is some form of Addict. Coke by the looks of it (Oh FFS the scene where he needs a fix & the nurse can only find the vein in his................)

 

THAT worries me. Are ALL goods quacks addicts? In that case what does Dr Who snort?

 

But enough of that. This is a very well made TV Show. Top notch cast, Director, Acting and setting. I hope the writing standard keeps up (Seeing as Cinemax already ordered Season 2 that seems probable)

 

Just don't watch the first episode (minutes 3 through to 7 while eating dinner)

[pap]

Crikey.

 

New series just started here. Cinemax USA Directed by Stephen Soderburgh and starring Clive Owen.

 

No idea whether it is on in the UK yet or what, think we are a bit late to it.

 

So what is it?

 

Imagine House as a Period Drama.

 

Clive Owen says he was hooked as soon as he read the script, in an interview published locally he said "the first 7 minutes set the tone for the whole series"

 

Well I have to say, 7 seconds in and we get NAKED WOMAN - always an outstanding highlight when watching TV in a Muslim Country. By around 5 minutes Mrs D_P is going very green, 6.5 I am thinking I may have to look away or barf. (No spoliers it just shows you the period and the level of "technology"

 

So, I read the reviews, they are very high, the viewer numbers on Cable in the US are very low (but so is the Network that has the rights). But after one episode the verdict from Mrs D_P was "bloody hell, this has the makings of a bloody good show"

 

So why the House reference? My only annoyance is the fact that it seems once again the (prospective) Miracle worker Doctor is some form of Addict. Coke by the looks of it (Oh FFS the scene where he needs a fix & the nurse can only find the vein in his................)

 

THAT worries me. Are ALL goods quacks addicts? In that case what does Dr Who snort?

 

But enough of that. This is a very well made TV Show. Top notch cast, Director, Acting and setting. I hope the writing standard keeps up (Seeing as Cinemax already ordered Season 2 that seems probable)

 

Just don't watch the first episode (minutes 3 through to 7 while eating dinner)

Is it called Crikey?

[dubai_phil]

Is it called Crikey?

 

Oops sorry Papster.

 

Getting used to 3 posts a day and realising I cannot edit! It is called The Knick. (Nowt to do with UK Prisons, it's a Hospital Period Drama set in 1900 in New York.

 

 

Welcomed another old friend back on catch up this week - Defiance Season 2. 9 months has passed since a whole load of unexplained weird sh1t went down at the end of S1. That was kind of OK it was a sort of Post Apocalypse SciFi Cowboy thing without it being Firefly and made for a good evening filler if not exactly "deep".

 

S2 has started much darker and much more weird. The Neo Nazi (in appearance Earth Republic have taken over the town, the protagonists are cast to the winds, mines or Jail and the fiteh Mayor is now running her Sister's whore house.

 

1st few episodes have had more depth and been a bit more gruesome than S1. Obviously now there is some weird sh1t going on with Irisa and Nanobots or something and the locations have been fleshed out - post Alien Invasion Los Angeles for example. Yeah the hero is still a Cowboy - he's even called that by the Baddy....

 

Again, the ONLY thing that stops it hitting rave reviews is that BECAUSE it is SciFi Channel there are simply no fully exposed Bewbs. There are acres of bare flesh but like TMS the no Nipple rule applies - BOOO.

 

(Oh and to save a post, on the subject of Bewbs - Movie - The Hungover Games....

 

Actually some decent impressions of the Dentist bloke and the Bearded wally - in fact the straight-jacket space suit idea to stop him doping them at the start was a proper ROFL that the original Hangover could have used) Oh and OF COURSE the entire movie leaves you hanging on tenterhooks PRAYING that you get to see the Jennifer Lawrence look-a-like's Bewbs.... )

 

Typical Scary Movie Spoof krap with 3 Johnny Depps, (Willie Wonka's demise was almost funny) a Gay Thor, Ted being obvious, and of course great WONDERFUL gratuitous Bewbs)

(I would like to comment more on the JL Bewb glimpsing joke but unfortunately another running gag is how old she actually is so any comment would kind of be awkward in a whole Yewtree kinda way.... But the movie is worth watching IF there is nothing else on telly we did laugh a few times!)

[pap]

Oops sorry Papster.

 

Getting used to 3 posts a day and realising I cannot edit! It is called The Knick. (Nowt to do with UK Prisons, it's a Hospital Period Drama set in 1900 in New York.

 

Shame. I thought it might be a revival of this classic show.

 

[Bearsy]

I watched some of the knick! It was quite interest. I like it when the guy went to prostitute and ordered "The Busy Flea". I was v.interest bout this! Turns out the busy flea is when prostitute pretends that there is an insect somewhere about her person (which tbf there probably is) and she is finding it ticklish, so she stands there frantically scratching at her undergarments going ooooh! is so tickly! ooooh!

 

i made my gf perform the busy flea for me, but I only achieved mediocre results

[Tokyo-Saint]

Is Clive Owen as annoying as he is in every other thing he is in bear? Does he play usual angry intense character or is it more comedy busy flea style?

[Bearsy]

Do you find him annoying? I find him Good Actor! He does play the usual angry intense character in this show tho, tbf.

[Tokyo-Saint]

I didn't even know he was an actor bear. I thought he was just an angry and intense guy they get in for angry and intense bits of bad films.

[Goatboy]

Liked him in Dad's Army.

[Tokyo-Saint]

What did you like him best in bear, King Arthur, Elizabeth the Golden Age, Beyond Borders or narrator of Being Liverpool?

[pap]

Children of Men, surely?

[Tokyo-Saint]

Is that Paedo porn Pap?

[Bearsy]

What did you like him best in bear, King Arthur, Elizabeth the Golden Age, Beyond Borders or narrator of Being Liverpool?

 

The One Where Rachel From Friends Gets RAPED.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Details pls bear. Did she do acting? I thought she was just into reality programs like S club. Was it overly serious and tense Clive that was raping?

 

Recently I have watched Noah which was one of the worse films ever and Inbetweeners 2 which was not too bad really, in fact pretty good.

[pap]

Is that Paedo porn Pap?

Quite the opposite. It's set in a future dystopia in which kids aren't being born.

[KelvinsRightGlove]

The One Where Rachel From Friends Gets RAPED.

 

Derailed? Awful film.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Let's not be too hasty Kelvin. Oh from friends - not S club.

 

Ok, just seen it on youtube. What are the rules on posting open to the public non age restricted youtube videos on here that are a bit rapey but also make you half expect Ross and Chandler to walk in and save the day any moment? Its a gray area.

 

On review its actually a really strange sex/rape scene. As the rapist is doing the crime, you see his face and then Clive Owen's face, then back to his face and then Clive's again. This makes it look a lot like Clive is getting raped. Is this why you liked this film bear?

Edited 10 September, 2014 by Tokyo-Saint

[KelvinsRightGlove]

Not hasty. It's a terrible film.

[CHAPEL END CHARLIE]

Is Clive Owen as annoying as he is in every other thing he is in bear? Does he play usual angry intense character or is it more comedy busy flea style?

 

Well I say anyone who can stick Benicio del Toro's head down a p1ssed filled toilet and get away with it can't be all bad.

 

[Bearsy]

Would you like to watch a tv show about a guy trying to become a professional footballer? Do you think that sounds a bit thin? How about if he's not really a professional footballer, he's actually an undercover CIA operative infiltrating the MLS to investigate something? Does that sound like something you'd like to watch? If so, you should watch Matador!

 

I'm actually only 19m42s into the first episode but it's so brilliant and terrible I stopped to tell you about it! Here is what is happening so far:

 

The CIA want to get one of their bros to play for LA Galaxy. Actually, they're not called LA Galaxy in this, they're called LA Riots which I think is genius in itself! We should have teams called like the Rotherham Sex-Ring or the Brighton Bombings, or whatever. Anyway the CIA decide that their best bet is a 35yo Mechanic from East LA who hasn't played "soccer" since high school, and they get him a trial at the LA Riots. They are a bit concerned that LA Galaxy might not be impressed enough to offer him a contract though, being as how he's a 35yo Mechanic from East LA who hasn't played "soccer" since high school, so they bring in a professional to train him up.

 

I was all set for Vinny Jones at this point, I was sure Vinny Jones was going to walk in, but - hahaha - instead of that - hahaha - they got a chick to do it hahahahahaha! And this guy is even worse than this chick! Seriously, he wouldn't even get a game for Pompey reserves he's f*cking terrible!

 

I will watch some more now and let you know how it turns out!

[Bearsy]

LA Riot's star player is called Alec Holster. He "scored 8 goals for England in the last World Cup"

[Bearsy]

Their other star player is called Caeser Aguerro, he "was a dancer before he got into soccer, and it shows" ffs

[SuperMikey]

Bearsy, that review was so funny you made me jizz a little.

[Bearsy]

The trial is not going v.well Our man is having an on field fist-fight with one of the first team defenders and just dropped him with a karate kick

[Bearsy]

Bearsy, that review was so funny you made me jizz a little.

 

watch the show!

[SuperMikey]

watch the show!

 

Somebody's in it called Nicky Whelan - is she like the lovechild of Nicky Weaver and Glenn Whelan? Also Alfred Molina?! WHAT HAPPENED?!!

[Bearsy]

The LA Riots fans are quite tasty! One of their players got sent off, so what the LA Riot fans did, right, is they went round the referee's house, bit off his fingers and sucked his eye-ball out of it's socket! Watch yo-self Clattenburg! We're coming for you!

[Bearsy]

Yes! Our man has made the team! He wasn't going to get in but the LA Riot were a man short in their squad due to a freak training ground karate kick incident!

[Bearsy]

We're into the meat of the show now, we're trying to figure out which bird the mechanic is going to bang first. His CIA handler is Hot Blonde, she is usually seen facing away from camera so we can look at her arse. The owner's daughter (it seems owner is terrorist btw) is slutty brunette. We know she is slutty because she goes around telling people, including her own father, that she hasn't worn underpants since high school!

 

Decisions, decisions!

[SuperMikey]

I don't think Bearsy's watching a TV show, I think he's tripping.

[Bearsy]

Episode is over now! We had a bit of drama in the end, the CIA changed their mind about having an undercover agent in the MLS and the only way they could think to get the mechanic out of his contract, was to shoot him in the leg. Wish Dejan had gone that route!

 

It's ok tho, don't panic, they changed their mind again and didn't shoot him in the leg! They're going to let him continue his undercover CIA MLS professional footballer career, at least until people stop watching the dumb show!

 

Matador: I give it 5 stars! I will be coming back for more!

[Bearsy]

I don't think Bearsy's watching a TV show, I think he's tripping.

 

It does feel a bit like that! Did that really just happen? Did he really abandon an important CIA op to save the owner's daughter from getting spit-roasted? Am I dreaming?

[Pancake]

Somebody's in it called Nicky Whelan - is she like the lovechild of Nicky Weaver and Glenn Whelan? Also Alfred Molina?! WHAT HAPPENED?!!

Ooh, the blonde bit of stuff that player Pepper in neighbours? Yum yum.

[dubai_phil]

Wow is Matador on HBO Bear? I'm now really hoping that our local crew OSN get the rights and prime time it. Sounds so awful it will be brilliant (That'll confuse Pap & Johnyboy again)

 

Meanwhile, HBO launched a series in US in June that hit our screens tonight. It is SERIOUSLY wtf? Look, I'm a man of the world, I've been to Glastonbury and seen KRG in a horse's head mask or whatever it was he does there, but this thing tonight left me totally wtf'd. In fact more I don't think anyone has been more wtf'd since Ladyboyphil last went to Thailand or Eric (FINALLY) did his Icebucket challenge without spilling a drop of his Margherita.

 

The Leftovers.

 

So Mrs D_P thinks it is ANOTHER bloody cookery programme. I have seen the precis which says blah blah blah after 2% of the population of the planet disappear.

 

So there we go. It starts on Oct 14th when 2% of the population simply ups and vanishes. Annoying crying Baby in car. Some chick in the middle of being bonked (I think?) Hell, even The Pope & Gary Busey get vanished....

 

This then fast forwards to "3 Years Later" and we are in Small Town America "Mapleton" with a ****ed up Police Chief and his daughter and a Mayor.

 

And now, here is the thing. I just watched it for an hour and I have NO FARKING IDEA what the HELL was going on. Yeah I got that Gary Busey is the Pope, but there is some random Dude shooting Dogs. There are some weirdos who chain smoke and wear white looney bin outfits and don't speak and a Senate Hearing where the World's best Scientist says "I have no farking idea what happened"

 

It is Sombre, it is Depressing. The entire PLANET seems to have been mindvcked that 146 million peeps just VANISHED. Even all the Religions are screwed up by the whole thing.

 

But there is teenage parties (I SO want the "Spin the Bottle App" that they were using) there were indications of bewbs & naked blokes (It is HBO after all)

 

But, the thing is all the way through the Pilot we are sitting there going wtf?

 

And here is the rub. The thing is REALLY well filmed, well acted and has a great script even though it makes no Godammed sense.

 

On the downside, it does not have Clive Owen in it and there certainly is no sign of the CIA. But there is some Hockey Field aggro (that sadly made me think of our dear departed Rupert, which made me think of Bearsy which made me realise OMG Bearsy IS Rupert Lowe)

 

So. maybe I should have watched this while p1ssed. Maybe I should have walked out thinking it WAS a cookery show. But Goddamit I bloody watched it and

 

What THE FARK is it about?

 

But it IS totally GRIPPING and we are TOTALLY hooked and I noticed it got really good reviews in the US and they are already planning S2 so maybe it is some weird Banshee type of stuff.

 

Gays - just go find it and watch it and join the planet in our new mission of wtf?

 

ps only 16 days to go to The Ryder Cup