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Crouchie's Lawyer

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Crouchie's Lawyer

Crouchie's Lawyer

Posted
Posted

Annoys the sheet out of me. People who update their status 4 or 5 times a day by phone, and partake in every single f*cking application under the sun - always sending it to you as well!

 

Get a life. Facebook is for arranging social meets / footy and oogling at fittehs and all the pictures they upload.

 

This one bloke I went to school with is a hairdresser, although he is (apparently) not ghey, I question that. Every day without fail, his f*cking status will read something to do with his planned day. Get a f*cking life.

 

This is some his status updates over the last week...

 

Today

..... is gona b a colouring machine 2day (08.04)

..... is gona b hittin the gym afta work, nothings gona stop me!(06.54)

 

Yes thats right, two status updates already, both by phone.

 

..... has eaten another salad, just a few lbs left 2go!

..... is proppa lookin 4ward to the works do, im even wearing MATCHING socks.

..... set the reminder for 'im a celeb', **** me im sad.

..... cant belive chelsea sat there lastnite and drank wine n ate choc's wen she knows im on i diet! ! !

..... is Thunder! Thunder! Thunder! Thunder Cats, Ho!!!

..... says 'by the power of greyskull, I HAVE THE POWER! ! ! !

..... has 2mrow off, wat to do wiv myself?

..... is waitin 4 timmy to cum home! (yes the ghey spells come - cum)

..... is still inbed, god why cant i start late evey day? Why the f*ck do you update your status with this sh!t? Sleep if you're in bed!

..... is gettin propa xcited bout the works party nxt weekend.

..... is goin 2 c libby 2day. Cant wait

..... worked '9 to 5' amazing!

..... has just added his dad on fb!

..... is wearing shorts and his ova coat, looking like a flasher!

..... says the guns r dun, no to **** shower and shave ready to go out wiv my bro and dad.

..... is workin the big gunns! No, you big ghey you are texting facebook

 

And after all his status updates, the same women always add stupid comments, they are all fugly too. Its almost as if he is some hairdressing god to them.

 

Seriously, this bloke comments on nearly every photo his friends upload too, my f*cking homepage was full of his sh!t!

 

Sad people.

 

Rant over

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Crouchie's Lawyer

Crouchie's Lawyer

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I never update my status.

 

Tried speaking to Hatch the other night, he near on told me to go feck myself, he didn't reply.

 

You do, but yours are ok as they are funny ones, they are jokes rather than things you have done/are doing. Always make me laugh and you dont do it every 5 minutes either!

 

Is he a friend on FB then or did you randomly message him?

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Crouchie's Lawyer

Crouchie's Lawyer

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Mine are true :(

 

Er... both?

 

So when is the trial then...

 

..... had an imaginary friend when he was younger. Some friend he turned out to be - he raped a woman and ..... got the ****ing blame.

 

lolz

 

These one's made me laugh too

 

..... was seeing this girl for a couple of years... and then the nagging starts: "I wanna know your name" "Why are you following me?" "Get out of my bushes".

 

..... pulled a girl in a nightclub last night...she walked straight back out.

 

..... and his girlfriend are a fastidious couple. He's fast and she is hideous.

 

.... thinks it's brilliant f*cking a lass on her period, he can pretend he's killing her with his c*ck. propper lolage from that one! :D

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Master Bates

Master Bates

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I feel your pain here.

however I doubt your coolness as you've posted over 3,000 times on this forum.

I wonder which is sadder hmmmmmmm...

 

I thought you were talking to me then, phew.

 

I have a lot of posts, but over a couple of years and because i'm at work bored out my fragile little mind.

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aids victim

aids victim

Posted
Posted
Annoys the sheet out of me. People who update their status 4 or 5 times a day by phone, and partake in every single f*cking application under the sun - always sending it to you as well!

 

Get a life. Facebook is for arranging social meets / footy and oogling at fittehs and all the pictures they upload.

 

This one bloke I went to school with is a hairdresser, although he is (apparently) not ghey, I question that. Every day without fail, his f*cking status will read something to do with his planned day. Get a f*cking life.

 

This is some his status updates over the last week...

 

Today

..... is gona b a colouring machine 2day (08.04)

..... is gona b hittin the gym afta work, nothings gona stop me!(06.54)

 

Yes thats right, two status updates already, both by phone.

 

..... has eaten another salad, just a few lbs left 2go!

..... is proppa lookin 4ward to the works do, im even wearing MATCHING socks.

..... set the reminder for 'im a celeb', **** me im sad.

..... cant belive chelsea sat there lastnite and drank wine n ate choc's wen she knows im on i diet! ! !

..... is Thunder! Thunder! Thunder! Thunder Cats, Ho!!!

..... says 'by the power of greyskull, I HAVE THE POWER! ! ! !

..... has 2mrow off, wat to do wiv myself?

..... is waitin 4 timmy to cum home! (yes the ghey spells come - cum)

..... is still inbed, god why cant i start late evey day? Why the f*ck do you update your status with this sh!t? Sleep if you're in bed!

..... is gettin propa xcited bout the works party nxt weekend.

..... is goin 2 c libby 2day. Cant wait

..... worked '9 to 5' amazing!

..... has just added his dad on fb!

..... is wearing shorts and his ova coat, looking like a flasher!

..... says the guns r dun, no to **** shower and shave ready to go out wiv my bro and dad.

..... is workin the big gunns! No, you big ghey you are texting facebook

 

And after all his status updates, the same women always add stupid comments, they are all fugly too. Its almost as if he is some hairdressing god to them.

 

Seriously, this bloke comments on nearly every photo his friends upload too, my f*cking homepage was full of his sh!t!

 

Sad people.

 

Rant over

 

If you don't like him and his things are annoying you then just take him off of your friends thing? People who have 93532 friends on there just to look popular annoy me, but hey add me Gordon Trunker xx

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Crouchie's Lawyer

Crouchie's Lawyer

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I feel your pain here.

however I doubt your coolness as you've posted over 3,000 times on this forum.

I wonder which is sadder hmmmmmmm...

 

Definitely updating your status on Facebook.

 

1)I am being paid to post on here (I post at work)

2)It staves off major boredom of work

3)I like to think that I make a few people chuckle sometimes (when I am not spamming)

4)Never doubt my coolness. I work for an Air Con company :cool:

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JohnnyFartPants

JohnnyFartPants

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Earlier this week some bloke sent me a message to see if I would be his friend. I sent a message back saying that I don't think I know him. His reply was, "I saw you know some people I know, so that makes you my friend too."

 

I corrected him on this by firstly letting him know that at first glance I can't see anyone on his friends list that I even remotely know. I have a feeling he is one of those sad cu nts that just want to try and have as many "friends" as possible. He even looked a proper w@nker too.

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Crouchie's Lawyer

Crouchie's Lawyer

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Earlier this week some bloke sent me a message to see if I would be his friend. I sent a message back saying that I don't think I know him. His reply was, "I saw you know some people I know, so that makes you my friend too."

 

I corrected him on this by firstly letting him know that at first glance I can't see anyone on his friends list that I even remotely know. I have a feeling he is one of those sad cu nts that just want to try and have as many "friends" as possible. He even looked a proper w@nker too.

 

Yeah, have had a few of these too. Its not too bad when they are a fit girl though! :D

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SNSUN

SNSUN

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I admit I am guilty of udating my status profiles, but only a couple of times a day if that, and I don't put what I'm doing, I just think up something funneh. I once got a positive compliment from a secksy female so I must be doing something right.

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Crouchie's Lawyer

Crouchie's Lawyer

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I admit I am guilty of udating my status profiles, but only a couple of times a day if that, and I don't put what I'm doing, I just think up something funneh. I once got a positive compliment from a secksy female so I must be doing something right.

 

Yeah, thats fine, if you are saying something funny, but it's the people who say '.... Is just about to give Edna a blue rinse' that peace me off!

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Hatch

Hatch

Posted
Posted
I admit I am guilty of udating my status profiles, but only a couple of times a day if that, and I don't put what I'm doing, I just think up something funneh. I once got a positive compliment from a secksy female so I must be doing something right.

 

 

Your fill in the blanks one was great.

Wish I had thought of it first. I may nick it anyway!!

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Scudamore

Scudamore

Posted
Posted
I don't use Facebook, in that I don't sit on there engaging in conversation with people all day long. Why would I when I have you freaks here for that? That said, it has been very useful in tracking down friends that took different turns in life many years ago.

 

Sex change Sally?

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Pip87

Pip87

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I will try to ensure I change my status for you more often i'm_no_sinner. I'll be a bit busy over the weekend but i'll try and change it lots today and from Monday. Just to give you even more pointless things to read. I seem to remember you commented my stripper status update so it can't be all bad.

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Saints1980

Saints1980

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Posted
I will try to ensure I change my status for you more often i'm_no_sinner. I'll be a bit busy over the weekend but i'll try and change it lots today and from Monday. Just to give you even more pointless things to read. I seem to remember you commented my stripper status update so it can't be all bad.

 

Add me you filthy slag.

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