The valentines thread sponsored by Pistorious

[Smirking_Saint]

So how are you lot treating the other half today ?

 

Personally I think Oscar went too far, but its the thought that counts

 

I did get some flowers sent, not that they have turned up yet, she better be cooking me steak.

[JonnyLove]

So how are you lot treating the other half today ?

 

Personally I think Oscar went too far, but its the thought that counts

 

I did get some flowers sent, not that they have turned up yet, she better be cooking me steak.

 

Thast March 14th sir.

 

Valentines day all about the woman, March the 14th Steak & Blowjob day is all about the bloke

[Turkish]

LOL @ all you mugs taking your birds out and buying them overpriced flowers and fatuous gifts, all because that is what you are expect to do. Do you not tell your birds that people only celebrate Valentines day because they have to not because they want to? Last Valentines day i went to West Ham v Saints, this year i might even let her out from under the stairs to cook my dinner.

[skintsaint]

^^ this

 

its just a normal day, don't get people who spend loads of $$$ on cards n flowers once a year coz you are told to.

 

Probably why I am single....

[Bearsy]

bird sent me text message this morning saying "OMG thanks for flowers xx". I didn't send flowers. I can't decide if she is fvvcking with me, or if someone genuinely fancies the fat b!tch enough to blow 50 notes on valentines day bouquet.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Might as well take the credit (i.e. take the blow job) for it bear.

[Bearsy]

i was thinking that but what if there is no flowers? I.e. might be sarcastic text message, or might be trying to make me jealous. Wouldn't surprise me if b!tch sends flowers to herself. B!tches is mental.

[Miltonroader07]

Bear, you are a wounded soul !!!

[Tokyo-Saint]

Yeah that's true but what you can say is:

 

"oh good you liked them?"

 

To which she can say:

 

a) "NO! you dumb bear, I was being sarcastic. I wouldn't bone you again, I've seen your small knob etc etc"

 

b)"yeah they were really nice. I knew they were from you. You'll have to remember to come round for the steak and a blow job night. Also, this guy at work has been creeping me out all day. He keeps looking over and smiling and saying weird things like 'did you get them?'. I've got no idea what he's talking about"

 

To which you reply:

 

If

 

A) What?!? you didn't get them? ****ing interflora, I'll kill those bastards. £50 ****ing quid spent and they **** it up? No point in them delivering it now, the moment has been missed. Listen, I'll cancel the flowers and just bring round a nice bottle of wine tomorrow night. I will do it late on though as I have to go for a meeting after work, couple of drinks, I'll call you at about 11:30 - 12:00."

 

B) Yeah that guy sounds weird, best not talk to him at all for a couple of weeks. I'll be round on the 14th, I like my steaks done rare and my blow jobs done well.

 

 

Basic stuff bear.

[Bearsy]

i think it will be easier to trade her in. Once b!tches start sending themselves flowers it's downward spiral and I can't have her in and out of the garage all the tiime. I should get good price at the moment cos she's still low mileage.

[Tokyo-Saint]

It's up to you bear but I have lived my live by one rule - Never knowingly turn down a blow job. It has served me well so far.

[Spudders]

bird sent me text message this morning saying "OMG thanks for flowers xx". I didn't send flowers. I can't decide if she is fvvcking with me, or if someone genuinely fancies the fat b!tch enough to blow 50 notes on valentines day bouquet.

Rule 1 & we'll decide

[Miltonroader07]

Are we all going soft on this forum !!!!

[Tokyo-Saint]

What you on about cook book, this thread is a build up to the blow job and steak night video thread. Your just annoyed people aren't saying what their favourite type of sandwhich is or something.

[dubai_phil]

Are we all going soft on this forum !!!!

 

 

HTH

[Smirking_Saint]

Are we all going soft on this forum !!!!

 

Talk us through the standard skate Valentines ?

[Turkish]

Talk us through the standard skate Valentines ?

 

They take their sisters up the arse dont they?

[Tokyo-Saint]

He didn't say standard skate Thurs Turks!

[Draino76]

I can't take any pretty young thing out tonight as I spent all my money on prostitutes last week. :-(

[skintsaint]

And yes I am single now. Although I have a date tomorrow night. I imagine you're all excited for me.

 

Remember to wash your Willy and don't just spray it with deodorant or aftershave to make the cheesyness go away...if you get lucky it stings the shiit out of her and probably won't get to nob it again...

 

Sent from my HTC One X using Tapatalk 2

[Deano6]

LOL @ all you mugs taking your birds out and buying them overpriced flowers and fatuous gifts, all because that is what you are expect to do. Do you not tell your birds that people only celebrate Valentines day because they have to not because they want to? Last Valentines day i went to West Ham v Saints, this year i might even let her out from under the stairs to cook my dinner.

 

Wow - you reminded me, I spend Valentine's Day at West Ham last year too. Billy Sharp violently attacked Matt Taylor's hand with his neck.

 

Seems a lifetime ago now.