saintbletch Posted 4 February, 2013 Posted 4 February, 2013 http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/oral-sex-assassination-plot--1560455 Oral sex 'assassination plot': Woman accused of putting poison in her privates in bid to kill husband Brazilian wife accused of planting toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed A woman is being sued by her husband for allegedly trying to kill him by putting poison in her genitals and then asking him to perform oral sex. The Brazilian wife is accused of planting a toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed. Reports in the South American country suggest he was ready and willing, and only escaped death because he noticed a strange smell. The curious husband then took his wife to hospital in Sao Jose do Rito Preto to find out the cause of the unusual odour. The alleged attempt on his life was exposed when tests on his wife discovered traces of a poisonous substance down below.
Bearsy Posted 4 February, 2013 Posted 4 February, 2013 The curious husband then took his wife to hospital in Sao Jose do Rito Preto to find out the cause of the unusual odour. This bit don't sound right to me! I've smelt some smells down there, but i don't generally mention it let alone be like "oh babes that smells a bit off, we better go down hospital get doctors have a sniff."
sussexsaint Posted 4 February, 2013 Posted 4 February, 2013 Of all the ways to kill my wife , this would never ever work sadly
Tokyo-Saint Posted 4 February, 2013 Posted 4 February, 2013 Refractions (TM Taxi Jeff 2013) coming your way bletch. No nipples on this board!
Window Cleaner Posted 4 February, 2013 Posted 4 February, 2013 http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/oral-sex-assassination-plot--1560455 Oral sex 'assassination plot': Woman accused of putting poison in her privates in bid to kill husband Brazilian wife accused of planting toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed A woman is being sued by her husband for allegedly trying to kill him by putting poison in her genitals and then asking him to perform oral sex. The Brazilian wife is accused of planting a toxic substance on her genitals before luring her husband to bed. Reports in the South American country suggest he was ready and willing, and only escaped death because he noticed a strange smell. The curious husband then took his wife to hospital in Sao Jose do Rito Preto to find out the cause of the unusual odour. The alleged attempt on his life was exposed when tests on his wife discovered traces of a poisonous substance down below. she should have mixed the poison with some strawberry jam and put whipped cream on top of it. Amateurs.......
Tokyo-Saint Posted 4 February, 2013 Posted 4 February, 2013 Strawberry jam? She'd be p!ssing pips for a week. Sometimes if you get good jam, you can get a full sugary strawberry in there. Get that stuck up her and it will be like she is on her period again. I'm not having two of those a month!
saintbletch Posted 4 February, 2013 Author Posted 4 February, 2013 This bit don't sound right to me! I've smelt some smells down there, but i don't generally mention it let alone be like "oh babes that smells a bit off, we better go down hospital get doctors have a sniff." True bear. If she'd only used one of those Japanese Pufferfish-based poisons (Fugu?), then it would have been almost untraceable.
Whitey Grandad Posted 4 February, 2013 Posted 4 February, 2013 True bear. If she'd only used one of those Japanese Pufferfish-based poisons (Fugu?), then it would have been almost untraceable. Fugu too.
pap Posted 4 February, 2013 Posted 4 February, 2013 I have frequently tried to get a nosh from ladies by claiming that I've just been bitten on the end of a wanger by a venomous snake and need someone to suck the poison out. 0% success rate on new individuals so far.
Spudders Posted 4 February, 2013 Posted 4 February, 2013 0% success rate on new individuals so far. What's your success rate on the people you already knew then?
pap Posted 4 February, 2013 Posted 4 February, 2013 What's your success rate on the people you already knew then? Works with most nosh-capable girls who have a sense of humour, but can only be used once per girl ( unless some kind of memory loss is involved ).
Spudders Posted 4 February, 2013 Posted 4 February, 2013 That's fine pap most girls don't ever want to see me a second time anyway so once is all I need
Whitey Grandad Posted 4 February, 2013 Posted 4 February, 2013 Works with most nosh-capable girls who have a sense of humour, but can only be used once per girl ( unless some kind of memory loss is involved ). Most of them know a venomous snake when you put it in front of them.
RonManager Posted 4 February, 2013 Posted 4 February, 2013 Yeah I got poisoned that way and died. I got better though.
svetigpung Posted 5 February, 2013 Posted 5 February, 2013 how about everyone who's read this thread , now phones the OB and hysterically shout down the line "help! she's trying to kill me" would be an interesting investigation.
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