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Celebs that get on your t!ts and why


Crouchie's Lawyer

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As the title says really...

 

Sara Cox for me. :smt021 F*cking does my head in. Northern beer-drinking girl. Always telling her Northern monkey stories and tales of her 'funny' leg waxing moments. Get off my radio. I always turn off when she is on.

 

Kerry Katona. Obvious reasons, chav scum basically.

 

All that I can think of at the moment...

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and whilst my heckles are raised, the planet will be a much nicer place when Chris Moyles and Jeremy Clarkson both suffer long slow agonising deaths to hand-sized blunt objects.

 

Moyles, the white van driver of radio 1, thinks that the louder he shouts his poisonous-playground opinions the funnier he is. He is as relevant today as those racist and sexist 70s sitcoms, but its OK cos he's a bloke and builders love 'im.

 

Clarkson - self-centred, arrogant, MOR loving, climate-change-denying Nazi. If you cut him, he would literally bleed daily mail.

 

I literally spend my life despairing at their ugly bloated popularity and refuse to bring another life into this world until they are dead.

 

(and relax)

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and whilst my heckles are raised, the planet will be a much nicer place when Chris Moyles and Jeremy Clarkson both suffer long slow agonising deaths to hand-sized blunt objects.

 

Moyles, the white van driver of radio 1, thinks that the louder he shouts his poisonous-playground opinions the funnier he is. He is as relevant today as those racist and sexist 70s sitcoms, but its OK cos he's a bloke and builders love 'im.

 

Clarkson - self-centred, arrogant, MOR loving, climate-change-denying Nazi. If you cut him, he would literally bleed daily mail.

 

I literally spend my life despairing at their ugly bloated popularity and refuse to bring another life into this world until they are dead.

 

(and relax)

 

I like em both. Crawl out from up your own ar3e and you might too

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I definately agree with the two shouts for Danny Dyer. Blatently wants to be something he clearly isnt but it doesnt stop him trying any way.

 

Aside from that take your pick from Jordan, Jodie Marsh, Kerry Fatona, that tart from Liberty X, basically anyone who gets paid on a monthly basis for giving an interview in OK etc... where they lie about how much they are in love, and how amazing the sex is etc etc, only 2 weeks later to give another "exclusive interview" about how they were being abused by the same person who was cheating on them all along but its okay because the sex was terrible blah blah blah.

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Victoria Beckham. So vain. Have you ever seen a photo of her where she isn`t posing somehow? Image is everything!

 

She ain't smiling in these snaps.

 

http://bbs.shang-shan.com/story.php?title=Dont_you_dare_David_Posh_keeps_a_close_eye_on_Becks_as_he_tries_not_to_ogle_basketball_cheerleaders_again

 

****! That's a long link!

Sorry don't know how to put the photos up.

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This is my list as follows(In no particular order)

 

 

  1. Dermot O'Leary (WTF, c*cksucking p*ss stain)
  2. Derek Thompson (CH4 Racing c*ntsplash)
  3. Willie Carson (BBC Racing c*ntsplash)
  4. Ant & Dec (Why oh why? f*cking pair of talentless presenting sh*t show c*nts)
  5. Jordan(big boobed thick media whore)
  6. Jo Whiley (fawning bum lick)
  7. Steve Rider (makes me ill)
  8. Bill O'Reilly (Ill informed right-wing knee jerk reactionist & a c*nt to boot)
  9. Tim Wonnacott (Gap toothed antiquey f*ckpig)
  10. Craig Revel Horwood (Strictly antipodean a*se wipe)
  11. Chris Moyles (Please read Jeff Leopard's eloquent rant in post#11)

I feel a bit better now.

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I don't really have any beef with people like Vicky B, because she isn't exactly an attention whore. She is just famous and married to another famous person.

 

My list would include:

 

1. Big brother contestants. Any of them, I don't care who.

2. Radio 1 DJs, as above.

3. John Motson

4. James Allen

5. Jodie Marsh

6. Alan Carr

7. Michael McIntyre

8. Fern Cotton, sort of covered in point 2 but does other broadcasts which get on my tits.

9. Indie Bands. The kind who think wearing a cardigan and not getting a hair cut makes them cool.

10. Arsene Wenger.

11. Amy Winehouse. Did I really get to #11 before I remembered her.

12. Pete Doherty. The male equivalent of #11.

13. Russel Brand. W**ker who bizarrely bases his wardrobe and hairstyle on #11.

14. The guy porking #11 who isn't famous for any other reason, but is always in the news.

15. Jonathan Ross. Why is he the BBC's top paid presenter?

16. Jimmy Case.

17. X-Factor winners. Always at #1 for a stupidly long time, just because of X-factor, even if the song is gash.

18. Davina McCaw. Shut the f*ck up!

19. Kerry Katona. Been posted that many times, I just realised I'd missed her myself.

20. Joe Pasquale. Even the Kiss of life that is 'I'm a Celebrity...' couldn't resurect his "comedy" career.

21. Sarah Palin. Nutter.

22. Basshunter. Giving chavs the world over an excuse to make noise.

23. Michael Schumacher.

24. The Redknapp family. The Wii adverts alone are good enough reason.

25. Richard Hammond. I like Top Gear, but the Hamster has become a very irritating parody of himself lately.

 

Sure I'll think of some more in a bit.

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Come again?

 

I hardly pay attention to the tabloids, Heat magazine etc. but I get the impression that people such as Victoria Beckham aren't exactly asking for attention a lot of the time. Its just that the media are transfixed by everything to do with their lives.

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Any off the panel that feature in the bag of feminist shi7e that is "Loose Women"

I see what you did there ITV,with the title,fookin brilliant,inspired...you pillocks.

 

Im in a bad mood.

 

Having worked at ITV a bit recently, I often bumped into the presenter.

 

Andrea McLean is a fitteh, but I have never seen 'Loose Women' the show and have no desire too either. I think it would taint my feelings for Andrea! :smt049

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I hardly pay attention to the tabloids, Heat magazine etc. but I get the impression that people such as Victoria Beckham aren't exactly asking for attention a lot of the time. Its just that the media are transfixed by everything to do with their lives.

 

She's the fuel for the likes of Heat magazine. She's the fuel for WAGs.

 

She's also the spawn of satan and a vacuuous f::ckwit, who is the ultimate example of the style over substance celebrity that we have now. As long as you look nice in a photo and have a clever publicist then you're fine...

 

I think because she's out of the country and thus out of our face a bit at the moment it's easy to forget what an attention seeking whore beast she is...

 

On the plus side it gives me a clear indication of the type of woman i want to avoid in life. And those that like her and OK, Heat magazine are right up there...

 

Lest we not forget the OK Magazine photos...she had throne made up for them both ffs

 

Oh and purple matching outfits...

 

"Don't look at me i'm shy"

 

beckham-wed03.jpg

 

beckham-wed09.jpg

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Having worked at ITV a bit recently, I often bumped into the presenter.

 

Andrea McLean is a fitteh, but I have never seen 'Loose Women' the show and have no desire too either. I think it would taint my feelings for Andrea! :smt049

 

How is the financial / air conditioning world of ITV?

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How is the financial / air conditioning world of ITV?

 

Its the Air Con, not the financial. It's ok, I was up there for about a couple of weeks complining information on what systems they had and re-numbering them all (which was a bit tedious) but ITV had a audit of their AC and wanted to get everything up to date (the asset register was a little dated). God Im boring myself talking about it.

 

The plus side was seeing a few 'celebs'. Best of which was the 2nd best ever James Bond.

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ITV had a audit of their AC ....

 

The plus side was seeing a few 'celebs'. Best of which was the 2nd best ever James Bond.

 

Talking of name-dropping. When I worked in 'counter-terrorism' at Heathrow, I admit that seeing Woody Harrelson (sp), Roger Moore, Diana (*****) Ross, Macca and the like did phase me a bit, and I used to excitedly tell the wife and kids who I'd 'met' that day. The novelty soon wore off of course. Didn't stop me asking Kenny Rogers for his autograph for my Mum though. After thanking him letting him go on his merry way, I checked what he had written:

"J****

Lots of love

Willie Nelson

x".

 

I worked they're when they started making celebs out of Jeremy Spake and that Anita woman, which sort of puts the whole celeb thing into perspective IMO. Celeb chasers turned celebs!

 

At Southampton Airport, I was amazed to find that someone like Frank Carson was treated as a VIP! colinjb will be able to confirm this. C listers being stalked in the cafe, and I'll never forget the 'media circus' that surrounded that Japanese Goalie who signed for the skates, when he flew in, that was laughable.

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At Southampton Airport, I was amazed to find that someone like Frank Carson was treated as a VIP! colinjb will be able to confirm this. C listers being stalked in the cafe, and I'll never forget the 'media circus' that surrounded that Japanese Goalie who signed for the skates, when he flew in, that was laughable.

 

Oh good heavens don't remind me.

 

The best incident was with that other famous Carson, Willie.

 

He was in the Airport one Saturday morning with a hareem of about 5 people. He was acting up a little bit, and even though the airport was utterly deserted on a sunday morning he started throwing his weight around to get attention. He got quite flustered that we treated him as just a normal customer and received no special treatment.

 

Never felt happier then when he finally came out with the 'don't you know who I am!!!!!' tirade only to get the response of 'no.'

 

Contrast that to Ellen MacArthur who simply came and went with minimal fuss and was genuinely embarrased when my colleague recognised her.

 

That was a show of true class.

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