dubai_phil Posted 6 January, 2013 Share Posted 6 January, 2013 (edited) OK peeps. My Stag is in Munich 19-21st April & involves medically impossible amounts of beer and "late night entertainment stuff" (Yes, you ARE all invited, already have a couple of forum boys booked) Anyways, I ain't been in Blighty for yonks and so I wanted to ask the panel what is cool and not cool these days. No FFS not the beat my own record (a fivesome Bearsy if you really want to know) (edit and no Bearsy, none of them was anything other than full blooded chicks) And no TRUST ME, none of the gang wants to see my bare ass handcuffed to no damned Streetlight More like "Should I let my sons come along?" My Son in law is already booked AND his Dad wtf? What else besides Beer & Wenches should we include? Should I follow FMDP's rules and be fined a Schnapps if I try and talk to a fugly women all weekend, but the Stags HAVE to down their drinks each time I chats up a babe? Help! (Hint we will spend the main day at Fruhlungsfest - Think Oktoberfest but shorter and with more desperate chicks) Edited 6 January, 2013 by dubai_phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank's cousin Posted 6 January, 2013 Share Posted 6 January, 2013 Be realistic Phil... you are not in your 20s anymore and like many of us post 40.. perhaps best to avoid the temptations of the flirtatious advances of the fruglies/hookers/eastern european clap distributors with slimey yet potentially violent pimpsods... when close to coma through Munich's best golden bubbly liquid. Surround yourself with those you can trust to ensure trousers dont come off until safely back in hotel... alone... so as to avoiud giving FMDP and additional unwanted 'gift' on the the honeymoon, whilst ensuring credit card details remain confidential. Remeber the curse of the the golden buddly liquid - its strange twisted sense of humour that makes you see Claudia Schiffer in every face, the sweet lovely innocence of the Albanian 'friends' you may make ( think 'Taken') and leaves the 'jewels' in need of more than penicilin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 6 January, 2013 Share Posted 6 January, 2013 People who bring family on stag do's do so for two reasons 1) they are scared and hope that by bringing along some blood, they will have some protection and someone to unchain them from the front of the imperial palace or whatever, 2) their mrs is scared or suspicious and by sending along her dad and uncle bob at least will have someone to report on your behaviour and if you go up stairs for a dance with some bird that smells of rihanna. Hope this helps Phil, have a good time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 6 January, 2013 Share Posted 6 January, 2013 on your behaviour and if you go up stairs for a dance with some bird that smells of rihanna. Its more dangerous if you go upstairs with someone who smells of ribena, unless its a 70s disco. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 6 January, 2013 Share Posted 6 January, 2013 I've had a sixsome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 7 January, 2013 Share Posted 7 January, 2013 I've had a sixsome. You do know it doesn't count if they are all your mates and a biscuit is involved? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 7 January, 2013 Share Posted 7 January, 2013 I think you'll find it does count, so **** off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 7 January, 2013 Share Posted 7 January, 2013 The only way it might count is of you didn't eat the biscuit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 7 January, 2013 Share Posted 7 January, 2013 It was one of my eat all you can days on the 5:2 diet so I ate it and asked for more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 7 January, 2013 Author Share Posted 7 January, 2013 Be realistic Phil... you are not in your 20s anymore and like many of us post 40.. perhaps best to avoid the temptations of the flirtatious advances of the fruglies/hookers/eastern european clap distributors with slimey yet potentially violent pimpsods... when close to coma through Munich's best golden bubbly liquid. Surround yourself with those you can trust to ensure trousers dont come off until safely back in hotel... alone... so as to avoiud giving FMDP and additional unwanted 'gift' on the the honeymoon, whilst ensuring credit card details remain confidential. Remeber the curse of the the golden buddly liquid - its strange twisted sense of humour that makes you see Claudia Schiffer in every face, the sweet lovely innocence of the Albanian 'friends' you may make ( think 'Taken') and leaves the 'jewels' in need of more than penicilin Lol... There is one rule. Brighouse & Rastrick.... Brass Band. Yeah Frank you are right about us oldies - prime reason we went the Beer route rather than the Baltics/E Eu The plan is plenty of this [/img] And totally none of this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 7 January, 2013 Author Share Posted 7 January, 2013 People who bring family on stag do's do so for two reasons 1) they are scared and hope that by bringing along some blood, they will have some protection and someone to unchain them from the front of the imperial palace or whatever, 2) their mrs is scared or suspicious and by sending along her dad and uncle bob at least will have someone to report on your behaviour and if you go up stairs for a dance with some bird that smells of rihanna. Hope this helps Phil, have a good time. Interesting point thanks Tokyos. The STRANGE thing is Son In Law's best man invited me on their stag last April - my 2 lads were also going so I had actually typed the "ah krap I'm at a Work Conference" having my toenails trimmed" excuse email when SiL's DAD sent a reply to all saying Oh great really looking forward to going out on the lash with Phil.... Kindof meant I had to go. Anyways I blamed jetlag for whimping out of the late night stuff after the bars shut and think that was a dignified solution. What kinda freaked me out for my Stag was as soon as we decided to go to Munich SiL, his Dad and half the Stag from last year ALL emailed to say "Can we come?" Last year was so awesome.... So then it was all ass about boob and the family invited themselves. Must be a psychology students Thesis available in that somewhere. Luckily, many many years ago at a hotel in Cardiff I was so bladdered I nearly had a Coyote Ribena moment. Thank God a mate gave me a slap and I woke up in time. Since then I have managed to install the "Anti Beer Goggles" App. It's been updated over the years and now runs on Android. So it can now look at the Bewbs above and say Do they make Brown Paper Bags that big? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 7 January, 2013 Share Posted 7 January, 2013 She has failed the two finger rule Phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 7 January, 2013 Author Share Posted 7 January, 2013 She has failed the two finger rule Phil Yeah. Luckily the front of it was enough to put EVERYONE on tour off their beer let alone dodgy women (Even performing the shaving foam gag on the Stag was about as much fun as finding a floater in a Jacuzzi) So no, that ain't gonna be happening, and IF the lads try it I have an old Swiss Army knife with built in Bolt Cutters ready Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 7 January, 2013 Share Posted 7 January, 2013 Yeah. Luckily the front of it was enough to put EVERYONE on tour off their beer let alone dodgy women (Even performing the shaving foam gag on the Stag was about as much fun as finding a floater in a Jacuzzi) So no, that ain't gonna be happening, and IF the lads try it I have an old Swiss Army knife with built in Bolt Cutters ready Dont forget to check the knife in the luggage when leaving Dubai. Funniest thing I saw after 9/11 was an Indian trying to take a canteen of cutlery through Dubai airport they put it through the Xray machine then opened it scooped all the knives out and put them in the bin then handed him back the attache case with the forks and spoons in Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 7 January, 2013 Share Posted 7 January, 2013 Interesting point thanks Tokyos. The STRANGE thing is Son In Law's best man invited me on their stag last April - my 2 lads were also going so I had actually typed the "ah krap I'm at a Work Conference" having my toenails trimmed" excuse email when SiL's DAD sent a reply to all saying Oh great really looking forward to going out on the lash with Phil.... Kindof meant I had to go. Anyways I blamed jetlag for whimping out of the late night stuff after the bars shut and think that was a dignified solution. What kinda freaked me out for my Stag was as soon as we decided to go to Munich SiL, his Dad and half the Stag from last year ALL emailed to say "Can we come?" Last year was so awesome.... So then it was all ass about boob and the family invited themselves. Must be a psychology students Thesis available in that somewhere. Luckily, many many years ago at a hotel in Cardiff I was so bladdered I nearly had a Coyote Ribena moment. Thank God a mate gave me a slap and I woke up in time. Since then I have managed to install the "Anti Beer Goggles" App. It's been updated over the years and now runs on Android. So it can now look at the Bewbs above and say Do they make Brown Paper Bags that big? As always Phil, I switched off about half way through and started day dreaming about going on stag do's and strippers etc (all stored up in the **** bank). I think your main point was that her family are actually ok and like getting wasted and tits and stuff so you'll be fine, right? Anyway, when is the big day? I hope you and sue live a long happy life together over in the Lounge. Best wishes from all us muppets. Love Tokyos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 7 January, 2013 Author Share Posted 7 January, 2013 As always Phil, I switched off about half way through and started day dreaming about going on stag do's and strippers etc (all stored up in the **** bank). I think your main point was that her family are actually ok and like getting wasted and tits and stuff so you'll be fine, right? Anyway, when is the big day? I hope you and sue live a long happy life together over in the Lounge. Best wishes from all us muppets. Love Tokyos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Sanchez Posted 7 January, 2013 Share Posted 7 January, 2013 People who bring family on stag do's do so for two reasons 1) they are scared and hope that by bringing along some blood, they will have some protection and someone to unchain them from the front of the imperial palace or whatever, 2) their mrs is scared or suspicious and by sending along her dad and uncle bob at least will have someone to report on your behaviour and if you go up stairs for a dance with some bird that smells of rihanna. Hope this helps Phil, have a good time. On mine no family came or even wanted to because they knew of the carnage of what was going to happen, I was happy with this as walking around Benidorm in a womens thong with nothing else is not one for the relations to look at really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 7 January, 2013 Share Posted 7 January, 2013 Lol... And totally none of this Who'd want any of that ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 7 January, 2013 Share Posted 7 January, 2013 I think I've had some of that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 7 January, 2013 Share Posted 7 January, 2013 I think I've had some of that! Is that your white stuff on her leg? Poor shot if so, 'specially given the size of the target. Also you should think about trimming your pubes, they're shedding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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