Barry Sanchez Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 I'm 37 and act a child, I know it and love it but I think half of the punters on here are either Fat and lonely Lonely and fat Cardigan wearing Single Single as they hate women/men 87 and drive a lawn mower 52 and think an allegro is a racy motor Drink mild Always watch the vicar of dibley Cheers Ta, Merry Christmas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 I'm 37 and act a child, I know it and love it but I think half of the punters on here are either Fat and lonely Lonely and fat Cardigan wearing Single Single as they hate women/men 87 and drive a lawn mower 52 and think an allegro is a racy motor Drink mild Always watch the vicar of dibley Cheers Ta, Merry Christmas Talking of punters your on the wrong thread should be have you ever paid a prostitute for it one. But of your list regarding myself all appear incorrect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Sanchez Posted 24 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 24 December, 2012 Talking of punters your on the wrong thread should be have you ever paid a prostitute for it one. But of your list regarding myself all appear incorrect. I am well on the wrong thread then, Amsterdam, Hamburg, Derby Road, Kellet St, done em all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 I’m not so sure the cardigan wearing lawn mower types come into the muppet show area baz, as they think it’s full of spotty kids acting childish, not realising that most of us are middle age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 Some of the posters on here are right wing spoon collectors who often pretend to be drunk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 We should do Saintsweb census barry! Higher the score more of ultimate Saintsweb sadsack you is! Here is the criterias as I see it: Do you wear 36" or greater belt size? (Yes = 3 points) Have you paid more than £7.50 for haircut in last 5 years? (No = 3 points) List your top 10 albums, was any of them released this millennium? (No = 3 points) Have you had sex with more than one lady this year? (No = 3 points) Bonus: Was they same time! (Yes = -10 points) When did you last wash your car by hand (Within week = 6 points, within month = 3 points) When did you last go to garden centre (Within week = 6 points, within month = 3 points) When Barry said Allegro just now did you know what that looked like without googles (Yes = 3 points) List ur scores! Also if you can think of more good questions that is cool too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 Can you tie your balls into a knot? Yes = 3 points. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 Do you use a handkerchief? Yes = 3 points Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 Do you use a handkerchief? Yes = 3 points Surely a more accurate question is "do you use a separate handkerchief for your nose and masturbation?" yes = 3 points Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 I'd be more troubled bout people using same handkerchief Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint-Fred Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 Surely a more accurate question is "do you use a separate handkerchief for your nose and masturbation?" yes = 3 points My "friend" does that but it causes real issues when someone sneezes and he gives them the one from the wrong pocket. I keep telling him you shouldn't share hankies as it could spread aids but he don't listen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 -1 even with the extra questions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 Erm report to the 3some thread Phil! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 (edited) Stupid question removed Edited 24 December, 2012 by Spudders I'm stupid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 Hey minus 10, is that good ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 I wouldn't have expected anything else! Saintsweb legend! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 Bearsy Where is your score then ?? Not enough Talons to count up to it? Report for the 3some thread will be on its way when you put the link up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 I got 9 points Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 Bearsy Where is your score then ?? Not enough Talons to count up to it? Report for the 3some thread will be on its way when you put the link up I got the zero bro. I was whisker away from the -10, it depends on ur definition of same time! Then again it's a bit fixed cos I kind of wrote the questions! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 I got the zero bro. I was whisker away from the -10, it depends on ur definition of same time! Then again it's a bit fixed cos I kind of wrote the questions! Same Time: one on your face and one on your cock is a pretty standard meaning Or one sucking your balls and the other sucking your cock would work to get an official threesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 Yeah i know really. One on your cock and one sitting in corner checking her email don't count. This is old news! Tell me bout ur 3some so I can live vicarious! You can append to I'm a dirty bear thread or do ur own 3 some thread or the Ramirez Off Topic thread just best not put it in here. This is for middle aged. I'm worried bout these old farts getting coronary! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Kirkup Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 24 inc the extra questions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 (edited) 15 points ( including the extra questions ), and proud of it. Q1) How do you know you are middle aged if you don't know how long you are going to live ? Q2) When does 'middle age' end and 'old fogey' begin ? Edited 24 December, 2012 by badgerx16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 15 points ( including the extra questions ), and proud of it. Q1) How do you know you are middle aged if you don't know how long you are going to live ? Q2) When does 'middle age' end and 'old fogey' begin ? I hope you got the -10 bonus points Badger Three Score and ten is one life approx, so anything in the middle of that would be middle age give or take 5 to 10 either side Old Fogey would begin when you get the same clothes your father/mother are wearing or they are beige Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Sanchez Posted 24 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 24 December, 2012 We should do Saintsweb census barry! Higher the score more of ultimate Saintsweb sadsack you is! Here is the criterias as I see it: Do you wear 36" or greater belt size? (Yes = 3 points) Have you paid more than £7.50 for haircut in last 5 years? (No = 3 points) List your top 10 albums, was any of them released this millennium? (No = 3 points) Have you had sex with more than one lady this year? (No = 3 points) Bonus: Was they same time! (Yes = -10 points) When did you last wash your car by hand (Within week = 6 points, within month = 3 points) When did you last go to garden centre (Within week = 6 points, within month = 3 points) When Barry said Allegro just now did you know what that looked like without googles (Yes = 3 points) List ur scores! Also if you can think of more good questions that is cool too! 1) 32-33 2) £15-20 3) NO 4) No 5) Married 6) Like **** do I wash my car 7) Last week (blushes) I wrote it so no . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 9 points for me. Favourite albums, *****es, and Allegro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raging Bull Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 Hey minus 10, is that good ? Shut up old man, the wife and the dog dont count! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 My old physics teacher had an Austin Allegro estate in beige, and I used to think it was quite cool. Thats got to be worth more than three points. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 24 December, 2012 Share Posted 24 December, 2012 True middle aged men are fat, scruffy, divorced after their wives left them because they are failures with no ambition or pride in themselves or still single because they are faliures who simply cant hold down a realtionship. They usually use Internet dating websites Due to the fact no one in the real world will spend any time with them. They will try to either dress far too young for their years and physique from primark or dress like a 60 year old man in ill fitting casual gear from Burtons. they are generally stupid and unambitious, resigned to the cards dealt them but secretly desiring but never able to strive for more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 25 December, 2012 Share Posted 25 December, 2012 I had an Orange Austin Allegro while I was at College. Does that give me -20? One important question left out the quiz though. Do you cook the Sunday Roast/Xmas Dinner - that has to be +3 for each. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 25 December, 2012 Share Posted 25 December, 2012 I had an Orange Austin Allegro while I was at College. Does that give me -20? One important question left out the quiz though. Do you cook the Sunday Roast/Xmas Dinner - that has to be +3 for each. Thanks a bunch phil, thats me up to 12. I always cook the sunday roast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 25 December, 2012 Share Posted 25 December, 2012 (edited) 9 points for me. Don't see why I get punished for having an expensive haircut though? Maybe not seeing why is why? Edit, just read its good to have an expensive haircut. Bit hungover at the moment, will have to do this scientific survey when more with it. Edited 25 December, 2012 by Tokyo-Saint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 25 December, 2012 Share Posted 25 December, 2012 Yeah I think the point is that middle age people have little hair and as such don't have anything to 'style'. I've not been inside a hairdressers for about 15 years now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 25 December, 2012 Share Posted 25 December, 2012 I hate batting my hair cut, I hate being nice, the small talk etc. most of all I hate the bit when they say "would you like a head massage?" of course I ****ing do! And do it with your top of this time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 26 December, 2012 Share Posted 26 December, 2012 Do you wear 36" or greater belt size? Yes, just, but I'm figuring it could be more after Chrimbler dinners :-( Have you paid more than £7.50 for haircut in last 5 years? Yes, but my hairdresser has massive knockers so it's worth it. List your top 10 albums, was any of them released this millennium? No, in fact I don't think I've ever bought 10 albums. Have you had sex with more than one lady this year? No, just the wifey. (In case she's spying) When did you last wash your car by hand Owned my car 4 years, washed it once under pressure from wife. When did you last go to garden centre Sunday, get in. When Barry said Allegro just now did you know what that looked like without googles I thought it was a type of musical speed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastleighSoulBoy Posted 26 December, 2012 Share Posted 26 December, 2012 I'm 37 and act a child, I know it and love it but I think half of the punters on here are either Fat and lonely Lonely and fat Cardigan wearing Single Single as they hate women/men 87 and drive a lawn mower 52 and think an allegro is a racy motor Drink mild Always watch the vicar of dibley Cheers Ta, Merry Christmas You can't drive a lawnmower, you loaned it to the son of the old lady next door and he'll not return it. Some of the posters on here are right wing spoon collectors who often pretend to be drunk. In one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AussieDog Posted 26 December, 2012 Share Posted 26 December, 2012 We should do Saintsweb census barry! Higher the score more of ultimate Saintsweb sadsack you is! Here is the criterias as I see it: Do you wear 36" or greater belt size? (Yes = 3 points) Have you paid more than £7.50 for haircut in last 5 years? (No = 3 points) List your top 10 albums, was any of them released this millennium? (No = 3 points) Have you had sex with more than one lady this year? (No = 3 points) Bonus: Was they same time! (Yes = -10 points) When did you last wash your car by hand (Within week = 6 points, within month = 3 points) When did you last go to garden centre (Within week = 6 points, within month = 3 points) When Barry said Allegro just now did you know what that looked like without googles (Yes = 3 points) List ur scores! Also if you can think of more good questions that is cool too! ignoring the questions about having sex with more than one lady and whether I've had more than one at the same time I'm on 19. And based on the "three score and ten" + or - 5 I'm approaching the "old fogey" category. Now the question is...is it just the -3 for having sex with more than one woman this year or is it -3 for each one? The same with the 3sum. Can I have -10 for each time? With different women I mean - I don't think it should be more than -10 if it's been multiple times with the same women but as long as one of the women was different I think it should (the Missus doesn't like being left out, and I'm not going to upset the applecart when it's totally loaded with golden delicious). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Itchen_block4 Posted 27 December, 2012 Share Posted 27 December, 2012 Do you wear 36" or greater belt size? (Yes = 3 points) No Have you paid more than £7.50 for haircut in last 5 years? (No = 3 points) Not out of choice. I'm just blessed with thick hair that the hairdresser charges £9.50 to cut. List your top 10 albums, was any of them released this millennium? (No = 3 points)I was only born in 1992, so bit of a silly question. Have you had sex with more than one lady this year? (No = 3 points) Not for want of trying, but unfortunately not. Bonus: Was they same time! (Yes = -10 points) If only! When did you last wash your car by hand (Within week = 6 points, within month = 3 points) I don't drive When did you last go to garden centre (Within week = 6 points, within month = 3 points) That renowned hotbed of picking up snatch... If only I had a garden When Barry said Allegro just now did you know what that looked like without googles (Yes = 3 points) A car? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Sanchez Posted 28 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 28 December, 2012 True middle aged men are fat, scruffy, divorced after their wives left them because they are failures with no ambition or pride in themselves or still single because they are faliures who simply cant hold down a realtionship. They usually use Internet dating websites Due to the fact no one in the real world will spend any time with them. They will try to either dress far too young for their years and physique from primark or dress like a 60 year old man in ill fitting casual gear from Burtons. they are generally stupid and unambitious, resigned to the cards dealt them but secretly desiring but never able to strive for more. Sorry casual gear from Burtons, am I missing something here, Southampton was never Paris or Milan but please, can anyone remember Fosters was it by the bargate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 28 December, 2012 Share Posted 28 December, 2012 Sorry casual gear from Burtons, am I missing something here, Southampton was never Paris or Milan but please, can anyone remember Fosters was it by the bargate? The other end of Above Bar on the same side as Woolworths Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 28 December, 2012 Share Posted 28 December, 2012 I got a score of 3 points in Bearsy's census thing. I don't think that is very middle-aged at all. I'm actually a bit fearful of it, hence my ire toward the Ship and Mitre and real ale pub experiences ( quite like ale, though ). Having kids about the place keeps you young and relatively up to date. I was watching 1 vs 100 the other day; the "1" knew absolutely nothing about some pretty common cultural touchstones that parents would know about ( he'd never seen Shrek, for example ). It was bloody infuriating. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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