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The Adam Lallana injury thread


jawillwill

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Maybe it would be easier if we made it multiple choice. Was it;

 

A - A scream of delight

B - a scream of despair

C - a scream if you want to go faster

D - a scream of terror, like when seeing a ghost or like the woman in the shower did in Psycho

E - a totally different level of screams the type that only angels and dogs can hear

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Maya Yoshida left St Mary's on crutches, as did Adam Lallana whose knee is in a brace while N Adkins confirmed Gazzaniga faces a spell out.

 

Oh feck - neither of those injuries is good news but Yoshida is worse as we are so thin for our CB cover. Hope both are precautionary.

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Small scream = not serious injury, someone stepped on his toe

medium scream = minor injury, maybe out for a couple of days

large scream = pretty serious injury, out for a between 1-3 weeks

very large scream = really serious, won't see him again this season

What if he's not naturally a screamer or alterntively he is a bit of a drama queen? For example my dad didn't scream when he had a car accident, yet he's fractured his pelvis. My sister let out s loud scream when she saw a spider but she was in no physical pain whatsoever. Let's put it out there to everyone

 

We asked the mongbaord Does the sound of the scream dictate the extent of the injury??

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Small scream = not serious injury, someone stepped on his toe

medium scream = minor injury, maybe out for a couple of days

large scream = pretty serious injury, out for a between 1-3 weeks

very large scream = really serious, won't see him again this season

 

What if he's not naturally a screamer or alterntively he is a bit of a drama queen? For example my dad didn't scream when he had a car accident, yet he's fractured his pelvis. My sister let out s loud scream when she saw a spider but she was in no physical pain whatsoever

 

Good point. We need a matrix with the size of the scream along one side and the how much of a drama queen the player is along the other then we can truly judge the nature of the injury.

 

Drama queen status is as follows:

Very large DQ - will scream loudly if the ball goes near him

Large DQ - will scream if the ball hits his face

medium DQ - will scream if the a player punches him

small DQ - never shows any pain or emotion

 

Size of scream: small. Medium. Large. Very large

DQ status:

very large

large

medium

small

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What if he's not naturally a screamer or alterntively he is a bit of a drama queen? For example my dad didn't scream when he had a car accident, yet he's fractured his pelvis. My sister let out s loud scream when she saw a spider but she was in no physical pain whatsoever. Let's put it out there to everyone

 

We asked the mongbaord Does the sound of the scream dictate the extent of the injury??

 

With all the technology involved in football nowadays, and that Saints in particular embrace (Prozone for example), its surprising that we don't have a Hughie Green type of 'Screamometer' available to us.

 

Anyone else think it could be useful to physios in the preparation of injuries ?

 

(With apologies to the stain who asked a serious question)

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Apologies, my matrix of scream size/drama queen status isn't very good. Can someone type it up better?

 

No, I thought it was quite good and with my limited knowledge of Lallana I would say he is a medium drama queen and the scream was large drama queen scream so he'll probably be back for Fulham.

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With all the technology involved in football nowadays, and that Saints in particular embrace (Prozone for example), its surprising that we don't have a Hughie Green type of 'Screamometer' available to us.

 

Anyone else think it could be useful to physios in the preparation of injuries ?

 

(With apologies to the stain who asked a serious question)

 

This is a great idea and as head of sports science then it's another area where Les Reed has failed us.

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As Bearsy seems to be the forum expert on inflicted pain, perhaps we could get him to create a screamometer.

 

Was it a baseball bat insertion level scream?

 

We had chill out music playing in the background at the pub so we're totally in the dark in this debate. We just heard tish tish tish bump boom tish tish tish

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So if we can pretty much guarantee that he's back for Fulham, what's all this guff from Adkins about assessing it after 24/48 hours?

 

I didn't hear the scream and I can only make an assumption ad to his drama queen status so we will need this confirmed before we can guarantee anything.

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Oh feck - neither of those injuries is good news but Yoshida is worse as we are so thin for our CB cover. Hope both are precautionary.

As Adkins stated several times in different interviews, this is standard procedure, put a brace on the leg, let the injury settle for 24-48 hours and then analyse it. I would be surprised if Yoshi is seriously injured as he played on after he was hurt in the 2nd half and completed the game. I would also not be so worried about playing Jos against Sunderland or even Stoke, but would be happier with Yoshi back for Arsenal. I think we saw yesterday that we can play well without Adam, but I'd rather he was fit than not of course.

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Small scream = not serious injury, someone stepped on his toe

medium scream = minor injury, maybe out for a couple of days

large scream = pretty serious injury, out for a between 1-3 weeks

very large scream = really serious, won't see him again this season

 

You're not medically trained are you? If so, that is a fascinating insight into modern medicine/ human biology.

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I have been told from a source very close to Adam that he is a medium sized drama queen. I'm surprised you haven't got a source, turkish, you're normally on the all about this sort of stuff.

 

Adam ..as one of the shortest (and perhaps) lightest players in the squad, I should think getting thumped by a 12 stone opponent might hurt a bit more than a 12 stone striker getting the same " treatment" .

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