Spudders Posted 15 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 15 December, 2012 Good question Jillyanne, I'll run some pet related test scripts through my supercomputer apocalypse program and get back to you tomorrow as it'll take a few hours to input the parameters and run the scenarios Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 Ok, I find that helpful, could you also ask the supercom, if I were to go and get said b*stard bad dog and it DOESN'T become caninezombiefied, in prpraration, should I get new food pre apocalypse as I only have Bakers Complete biscuits or Wainrights trays currently, new dog may need something else to bulk it up or make it more nasty. However if it DOES become caninezombiefied, I could kill it with the wrong food, like chocolate or raisins, I heard yesterday that 4 raisins can kill a dog but Radio Solent failed to mention zombiefied dogs, they're bad I guess. What about pet fish? They could become really vicious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 Ok, I find that helpful, could you also ask the supercom, if I were to go and get said b*stard bad dog and it DOESN'T become caninezombiefied, in prpraration, should I get new food pre apocalypse as I only have Bakers Complete biscuits or Wainrights trays currently, new dog may need something else to bulk it up or make it more nasty. However if it DOES become caninezombiefied, I could kill it with the wrong food, like chocolate or raisins, I heard yesterday that 4 raisins can kill a dog but Radio Solent failed to mention zombiefied dogs, they're bad I guess. What about pet fish? They could become really vicious. Watch out for zombie raisins. They can be vicious little bastards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 Watch out for zombie raisins. They can be vicious little bastards. OK being so close to christmas people will have other fruits of the dried kind like currants. cranberries etc ready for putting in christmas puddings, will the dried fruit become one like a huge dried mass? I need to know asap to enable me to cull them. Oh GOD what about Glace Cherries. if they join we're all doomed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colehillsaint Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 OK being so close to christmas people will have other fruits of the dried kind like currants. cranberries etc ready for putting in christmas puddings, will the dried fruit become one like a huge dried mass? I need to know asap to enable me to cull them. Oh GOD what about Glace Cherries. if they join we're all doomed. Don't worry. I think these events usually involve a plague of locusts. They will definitely take care of any surfeit of dried fruit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 Don't worry. I think these events usually involve a plague of locusts. They will definitely take care of any surfeit of dried fruit. I feel Spud is being taken over now, GET BACK and HELP US! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 I feel Spud is being taken over now, GET BACK and HELP US! Oh no! If Spud has gone it must have already started. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colehillsaint Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 I feel Spud is being taken over now, GET BACK and HELP US! Mwhahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Do we set up like a secret code for those of us that are alive, I mean if Spud is alive it would be handy to get hold of him as he does seem pretty well in the know, however if he becomes zombiefied I could let you lot know to avoid him? Do people who become zombiefied have the ability to fool people - maybe Spud is already working on behalf of this post apocalypse nation thing and has just come back to start a thread to draw us all in hook line and sinker, just saying!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Will we be able to tell the difference between zombies and sleepwalkers ? or do we not take the chance and just remove the brains from both with as much lethal force as possible. If Jilly is right if your a vegan this christmas it wont be much fun, dried bananas coming back and chocking you and that sort of thing. Will the dried grasses introduce germ wheat warfare we need a lot more info and there is nothing on the official government sites, its a conspiracy against the common man / woman leaving us to our own devices whilst they set up the new utopia on the moon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Will we be able to tell the difference between zombies and sleepwalkers ? or do we not take the chance and just remove the brains from both with as much lethal force as possible. If Jilly is right if your a vegan this christmas it wont be much fun, dried bananas coming back and chocking you and that sort of thing. Will the dried grasses introduce germ wheat warfare we need a lot more info and there is nothing on the official government sites, its a conspiracy against the common man / woman leaving us to our own devices whilst they set up the new utopia on the moon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 I think if we run and the trees and grass get blown by a strange wind we must take cover in the nearest house like in The Happening n The Happening Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Trees and grass MUST NOT be trusted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 (edited) Stool pigeons are on the untrustworthy lot as well Edited 16 December, 2012 by PhilippineSaint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Trees and grass MUST NOT be trusted If anybody knows where the good grass is let the list in on it first Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KK the 2nd Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Just catching up on this now. I have a dentist's appointment tomorrow. Should I cancel and save the pain for later? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Just catching up on this now. I have a dentist's appointment tomorrow. Should I cancel and save the pain for later? There will be no pain if somebody comes through with the grass Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farawaysaint Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 I call dibs on being the bastard who stabs you all in the back in the apocalypse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 I call dibs on being the bastard who stabs you all in the back in the apocalypse! You get to wear the 70's porn moustache then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colehillsaint Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 I call dibs on being the bastard who stabs you all in the back in the apocalypse! Surely one of the great pleasures of the apocalypse will be the decline in feeble social conventions like "dibs" and queuing? All around the Mediterranean Germans will return to the pool area, after a hearty breakfast, to find fetid rotting corpses on the sun beds they have dibbed with their towels. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 I'll be masturbating your dead dog over those sun beds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farawaysaint Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Surely one of the great pleasures of the apocalypse will be the decline in feeble social conventions like "dibs" and queuing? All around the Mediterranean Germans will return to the pool area, after a hearty breakfast, to find fetid rotting corpses on the sun beds they have dibbed with their towels. Colehillsaint is now number one on my list. Once the "zombies" wink wink nudge nudge have got you I shall take upon myself the task of consoling your grieving widow and assuming your rightful place in the post apocalyptic heirarchy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colehillsaint Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Colehillsaint is now number one on my list. Once the "zombies" wink wink nudge nudge have got you I shall take upon myself the task of consoling your grieving widow and assuming your rightful place in the post apocalyptic heirarchy. Nice try but I think the Stain has dibs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Yeah, fu ck off faraway saint. The only possible way you'll be satisfying any woman is if I decide to stick my cock so far up your ass that it comes out of your penis and I use that to pleasure the colehillsaints woman. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperMikey Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 If this is what post-apocalyptic society will be like I might just kill myself now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farawaysaint Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Yeah, fu ck off faraway saint. The only possible way you'll be satisfying any woman is if I decide to stick my cock so far up your ass that it comes out of your penis and I use that to pleasure the colehillsaints woman. You want to stick your cock up my arse? Careful I may just take you up on that big boy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 You want to stick your cock up my arse? Careful I may just take you up on that big boy You won't have a choice and you won't enjoy it the way I do it, post apocalypse style. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 16 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 16 December, 2012 I’m worried, very worried. There’s been too much focus on zombies!!!! Be prepared for all sorts of threats, there’s no documented information from the last apocalypse that was won by God, all we know is that he was the last survivor, but we don’t what he survived, it may have been zombies, aliens or robots, but it could have easily been werewolves, dragons, ewoks or killer smurfs, we just don’tknow! I’ve got some data back for Jillyanne about pets which I’ll post separately, but please don’t just expect zombies as if something totally different happens next Friday your survival strategy could be fooked instantly. Here’s todays countdown photo, which is also educational: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 16 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Ok, I find that helpful, could you also ask the supercom, if I were to go and get said b*stard bad dog and it DOESN'T become caninezombiefied, in prpraration, should I get new food pre apocalypse as I only have Bakers Complete biscuits or Wainrights trays currently, new dog may need something else to bulk it up or make it more nasty. Jillyanne here’s some info related to dogs and zombies (although as I mentioned earlier, be prepared for non zombie risks as well). Dogs recognize the zombie virus and go a bit spazzy if they sense it. It turns out that when it comes to zombies, all dogs are total chickens and will leg it if they can, even biting you to get away, so there’s no need to swap your dog for a different make now, whatever you have you may as well kill it and use it for food as it’ll be of no other use to you and if you don’t do it some else will (in the case of colehillsaint he’ll also rape it before/after). If a dog is bitten it’ll turn into a dog zombie but then it’ll try and walk around slowly with its front paws stretched out in front of it and will therefore just slowly grind it’s face off on the floor (so in summary dogs are even more stupider once zombied up). Don’t throw away your Bakers Complete biscuits or Wainrights trays as you can eat that yourself or use it to barter with other survivors, or some types of alien. I heard yesterday that 4 raisins can kill a dog. Is that true? If so how quickly and would it be a pain free death? No wonder vets don't make that sort of info common knowledge, this could save many people spending money on vets bills! What about pet fish? They could become really vicious. Non of the super computer tests came back with any fish data, which means we can conclude that the zombies didn't touch the fish (so if there is a zombie attack and you can hold your breath for a long time, hide under the little stone bridge, or behind the little stone castle in your fish tank). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colehillsaint Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Cracking ven diagram Spudgun. Some more good input from Stainy above as well. I am actually quite looking forward to meeting him/her/it. I was thinking I could get some nibbles in for early evening on the 21st. Nothing too formal. Just some human body parts and the like to toast on a heap of smouldering pallets and lorry tyres, in what's left of the back garden. Do you think that would come across as too gushing? I don't want to put him off the killing and raping, but if you can't take a few social chances during an apocalypse when can you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 I am Legend is on tonight, this could be a very worthwhile watch Muppets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 16 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Good call Jillyanne, great film to help you prep and I think ET is on this afternoon as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 (edited) Cracking ven diagram Spudgun. Hmm Venn, Reddleman, now there's a profession that you don't get much call for these days. Wonder if there are online reddle sales. Mind you, you don't get many girls called Thomasin either.No wonder the world is ending Edited 16 December, 2012 by Window Cleaner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 16 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Hmm Venn, Reddleman, now there's a profession that you don't get much call for these days. Wonder if there are online reddle sales. Mind you, you don't get many girls called Thomasin either. I have no idea what this means so I'm going to assume this is some sort of coded mesage to someone else on the forum, maybe groups are forming already in the hope of survival? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 16 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Here's a weather forcast I've just seen for this coming week, cold Monday to Thursday but Friday is looking a little warmer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 I have no idea what this means so I'm going to assume this is some sort of coded mesage to someone else on the forum, maybe groups are forming already in the hope of survival? Return of the Native ?? I wonder if Clym's mum turned into a zombie after getting bitten by a adder. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Here's a weather forcast I've just seen for this coming week, cold Monday to Thursday but Friday is looking a little warmer! Might take a day off and go to the beach on Friday then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colehillsaint Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Beaches = swept away by tsunami. Best stick to high ground WC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Beaches = swept away by tsunami. Best stick to high ground WC what just go to work at 1314 metres altitude where it will be no doubt below zero and miss the hottest day of the year ? what sort of plan is that. Anyway with a tsunami might be some good surfing to be had, not that I've ever done any surfing mind you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 16 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Don't forget the old sun cream WC, lots of it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Don't forget the old sun cream WC, lots of it! I'll tell the wife to pick up a barrel when she goes to the corner shop. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 What's the best household object to stick my phallus in, you know, in case the Apocalypse happens while my wife is at work? If I do that, and the Apocalypse doesn't happen, will it void the warranty? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 What's the best household object to stick my phallus in, you know, in case the Apocalypse happens while my wife is at work? If I do that, and the Apocalypse doesn't happen, will it void the warranty? American Pie leads us to believe that warm apple pie is just the ticket. Don't eat it afterwards should the expected apocalypse not take place though. In any other case the zombies will get it and they're not picky by all accounts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 American Pie leads us to believe that warm apple pie is just the ticket. Don't eat it afterwards should the expected apocalypse not take place though. In any other case the zombies will get it and they're not picky by all accounts. Would my DNA end up in said apple pie? And if so, can I be cloned from the resulting pie, should the Apocalypse fail to kill everybody? So many questions, so little time. I assume surviving the Apocalypse would entail a situation akin to the film I Am Legend. http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2012/dec/16/mayan-apocalypse-looms-week-ahead Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Thinking about it, it's probably best to spread your DNA as widely as possible. Better start now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Bit late on here. Will we be able to update our status on FB after the world ends? You know, just shot 27 Zombies, home made Ark working fine after the Tsunami, which way is North now the Poles have reversed. If the Poles have reversed, does this mean FMDP now bats for the other side? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Thinking about it, it's probably best to spread your DNA as widely as possible. Better start now. I know of at least three locations where I already in exist in DNA form... One other question, if I die, will 18 years of Championship/Football Manager addiction be time well spent, or time wasted? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 16 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 16 December, 2012 Will we be able to update our status on FB after the world ends? You know, just shot 27 Zombies, home made Ark working fine after the Tsunami, which way is North now the Poles have reversed. These sort of updates would be ok, but the reality is that you know it'd be more like, "eaten rat for tea again tonight, here's a photo" and "hid behind some rocks again today, here's a photo of the rocks in black & white" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 16 December, 2012 Share Posted 16 December, 2012 I know of at least three locations where I already in exist in DNA form... One other question, if I die, will 18 years of Championship/Football Manager addiction be time well spent, or time wasted? Depends on what honours you won. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 17 December, 2012 Share Posted 17 December, 2012 Oranges are the answer, well they are according to strange dude who came into the shop tonight? I have thought about this again today, will the zombies (if thats the outcome) be allergic to anything like erm Kaffir Lime Leaves or Bran Flakes as we could stockpile these now. And yes raisins kill dogs so don't give them cakes containing them or xmas pud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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