the stain Posted 9 December, 2012 Share Posted 9 December, 2012 Border Terrier? Oh, I didn't realise. Not my cup of tea, I'm afraid. I think I'll leave it and just kill the both of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 10 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 10 December, 2012 Today we’re going to think about where to go and what you’ll need. You should already have a supplies storage area? If you haven’t don’t worry we’ll talk about that now as well. Chances are if your supplies were located in an urban area they are already under a pile of burning rubble, with the walking dead close by. Don’t worry, you can follow the same approach as people without a supply storage area, which is as follows: Our very own forum member Jillyanne has made a critical mistake which will ultimately cost her her life. By openly admitting she has three freezers full of food and a shed load of tins in the cupboard she has made herself a target. (Poor girl, as if the apocalypse wasn’t bad enough!). If you have a supply stash, DO NOT tell people where it is. If you do not have a stash head to Jillyannes, remember that she’ll be hiding in her garage so depending on your priorities you may wish to pop in there first for a bit of post apocalypse in/out. Another thing to remember is that it’s not worth stockpiling too much frozen food. Electricity will be down. Don’t be fooled by the various cheap frozen food currently on offer in supermarkets. Vol au vents, butterfly king prawns and mini duck pancakes are fine as a light snack at a Christmas party, but they won’t provide the energy levels required for raping, murdering and pillaging. So stick with tinned food, colehill has suggested corned beef which is fine, as is spam. If you are a vegetarian I’d suggest the apocalypse may not be for you, if you are not already dead, try and pursue that option as quickly as you can. Other than the clothes you are wearing, some tinned food and a tin opener, travel light and live off the land (if you have a pen and a Sudoku book you may as well take it as you can use the pen to stab people with and use the book pages to wipe your arse after number twos. With regards to location, it doesn’t matter where you go, nowhere is safe. Once you’ve left Jillyannes food stash follow your gut instinct, if you don’t have any instinct for this sort of thing try and hook up with colehillsaint until your muster up the courage to kill and eat him. Here’s todays countdown photo: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 10 December, 2012 Share Posted 10 December, 2012 I have taken your expert advice and have hidden all my tins and pasta, rice etc and am defrosting all the meat and will feed it to the dog. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colehillsaint Posted 10 December, 2012 Share Posted 10 December, 2012 If anyone other than Stain wants to hook up with me, I will consider it. I need belligerent henchmen/women to help me build a robust timber stockade. It will have big floodlights to keep the zombies out at night. We will develop a bizarre cultish feel to the whole thing. We will feast on tinned meat and **** away a lot of red diesel with flame throwers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 10 December, 2012 Share Posted 10 December, 2012 (edited) do we yet know why the world is going to end in 11 days, except for those nutjobbies at Bugarach that is ? I mean if it's going to fall into the sun or explode or something like that all the tins and pasta that you can horse aren't going to do you much good. !being of the scientific community I still don't know one colleague who can give any sort of explanation; Plus the Pope published a work not long back which said we're 9 years out of sync anyway, then there's the gregorian calendar correction of 12 days. So all in all the 21st December 2012 probably isn't the 21st December 2012 at all. It's not bollorks Ron Edited 10 December, 2012 by Window Cleaner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 11 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 11 December, 2012 Only 10 days to go. If you are already well prepared for the upcoming event and are looking for things to do between now & then, here’s a link to ’10 things you must do before the apocalypse according to Mamiverse, the website for “universal empowerment for Latina moms and families” http://www.mamiverse.com/10-things-you-must-do-before-the-2012-apocalypse-11625/ Here’s todays countdown photo: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colehillsaint Posted 11 December, 2012 Share Posted 11 December, 2012 Liking the idea of the Stain "doing something special for a stranger" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colehillsaint Posted 11 December, 2012 Share Posted 11 December, 2012 do we yet know why the world is going to end in 11 days, except for those nutjobbies at Bugarach that is ? I mean if it's going to fall into the sun or explode or something like that all the tins and pasta that you can horse aren't going to do you much good. !being of the scientific community I still don't know one colleague who can give any sort of explanation; Plus the Pope published a work not long back which said we're 9 years out of sync anyway, then there's the gregorian calendar correction of 12 days. So all in all the 21st December 2012 probably isn't the 21st December 2012 at all. It's not bollorks Ron If it doesn't happen we can have a good argument on the humble pie thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 11 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 11 December, 2012 .... Plus the Pope published a work not long back which said we're 9 years out of sync anyway, then there's the gregorian calendar correction of 12 days. If it doesn't happen we can have a good argument on the humble pie thread. One thing's for sure, if the pope is correct, I'm not going to carry on and do a nine year countdown! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint-Fred Posted 11 December, 2012 Share Posted 11 December, 2012 (edited) do we yet know why the world is going to end in 11 days, except for those nutjobbies at Bugarach that is ? I mean if it's going to fall into the sun or explode or something like that all the tins and pasta that you can horse aren't going to do you much good. !being of the scientific community I still don't know one colleague who can give any sort of explanation; Plus the Pope published a work not long back which said we're 9 years out of sync anyway, then there's the gregorian calendar correction of 12 days. So all in all the 21st December 2012 probably isn't the 21st December 2012 at all. It's not bollorks Ron Can't be a sun thing can it if that village is going to survive? I reckon all the ice will melt around lunchtime leaving just Buggerach as it must be high ground. For the rest of us it will be like Waterworld (only not quite so boring)...In preparation I have started building a boat. Just need to know if all that ice will make the sea water diluted enough to drink or will I need to create some distilling type device to make fresh water from sea water? We will all float around in our little boats searching for Buggerach, raping and pillaging on the way, so it will be just like being in the Navy. Just a thought I need to create some sort of battery freezing device on my boat as if all the ice is melted, what am I going to put in my Bicardi Breezers? Edited 11 December, 2012 by Saint-Fred Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skintsaint Posted 12 December, 2012 Share Posted 12 December, 2012 ah..when the whistle blows...great stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colehillsaint Posted 12 December, 2012 Share Posted 12 December, 2012 Just need to know if all that ice will make the sea water diluted enough to drink or will I need to create some distilling type device to make fresh water from sea water? You will definitely need to drink your own urine at some stage Fred. Spudgun, does he need to start quaffing the stuff now to aclimatise? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 12 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 12 December, 2012 You will definitely need to drink your own urine at some stage Fred. Spudgun, does he need to start quaffing the stuff now to aclimatise? Whaaaat? Don't you all drink your own urine already? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 12 December, 2012 Share Posted 12 December, 2012 C I reckon all the ice will melt around lunchtime leaving just Buggerach as it must be high ground. Bugarach isn't all that high up, about 1230 metres or so, in fact there's nothing special about the place at all, except that New Age travellers have made it so; It's not even one of these strange places where few kinds of electrical or electromagnetic energy pass ( there's one not far from here in the Cantal). I was reading up on some of this mayan crap the other day, apparently according to them the world ends all of the time and then all worlds end and start again; In short probably just like something out of a modern video game, fall into a volcano because you can't grab a nail hammered into the side of a mountain with your left hand while gunning down hordes of zombies with your right ? never mind start again. As for them not continuing their calendar, well they probably discovered women,football or drugs and it just didn't matter any more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 12 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 12 December, 2012 Saint-Fred raises a good point about the sea. Amongst all the lava and fire on land, the sea may be one of the best places to go. To do this you’ll need a boat. Unfortunately Saint-Fred has also made the same mistake as Jillyanne, he’s made his ownership of a useful resource common knowledge! So any of you without a boat know where to go, but one word of caution, note he’s said he’s “building one” so it’s not finished yet and there’s only 9 days to go, so if you know someone else who already has one, rob them of theirs instead. Don’t assume seabirds are just rats of the sea, they can be a good source of meat, plus some of them are also a good source of knickknacks such as bottle tops & lighters (see picture below). Tip: When at sea, if you get bored of drinking your own urine, why not swap urine with fellow survivors just for fun and a different taste. Here’s todays countdown photo: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 12 December, 2012 Share Posted 12 December, 2012 One thing's for sure, if the pope is correct, I'm not going to carry on and do a nine year countdown! no, wrong way round, according to the Pope's tome we're more than likely in 2021 anyway because Jesus (whoever that was) was born 9 years before the date taken for year 0. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 12 December, 2012 Share Posted 12 December, 2012 no, wrong way round, according to the Pope's tome we're more than likely in 2021 anyway because Jesus (whoever that was) was born 9 years before the date taken for year 0. So it has already happened in 2003 and post apocalypse world is pretty much the same only few more Tsunami's Earthquakes and erupting volcano's then add in the financial collapse and strife in the middle east looks like its all coming together just right. The final straw is going to be the Judge(Dalek2003) on Friday telling the Phew Exterminate Exterminate Exterminate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colehillsaint Posted 12 December, 2012 Share Posted 12 December, 2012 Whaaaat? Don't you all drink your own urine already? I haven't been, but I will now. Toughen me up for the final meltdown. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericofarabia Posted 12 December, 2012 Share Posted 12 December, 2012 Damn - wish I's seen this fred before. Just paid my electric and water bills, credit card and phone bills FFS Fortunately I haven't done all my xmas shopping but my Air Ticket back home in January is looking like a waste of money. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 12 December, 2012 Share Posted 12 December, 2012 Damn - wish I's seen this fred before. Just paid my electric and water bills, credit card and phone bills FFS Fortunately I haven't done all my xmas shopping but my Air Ticket back home in January is looking like a waste of money. just got yourself to blame really, this prediction is 13000 years old. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericofarabia Posted 12 December, 2012 Share Posted 12 December, 2012 (edited) just got yourself to blame really, this prediction is 13000 years old. Maybe we will escape it here in Dubai, as in the Islamic Calendar, we are only in the year 1434. Yay - I'm saved. Edited 12 December, 2012 by ericofarabia Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 12 December, 2012 Share Posted 12 December, 2012 , as in the Islamic Calendar, we are only in the year 1434. . Indeed, our dark ages when we had inquisitions,witch hunts, burnings at the stake and other religion based atrocities. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gingeletiss Posted 12 December, 2012 Share Posted 12 December, 2012 1212121212........it has passed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 12 December, 2012 Share Posted 12 December, 2012 1212121212........it has passed. and like the year 2000 (which probably wasn't anyway) nothing happened, although we did have a bit of a big storm at the end of 1999. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint-Fred Posted 12 December, 2012 Share Posted 12 December, 2012 Rookie mistake mentioning the boat! Although turns out making a boat is quite hard and I am bored of that now. Good news about the urine, that will save some space. Do the Zombies swim though? Just need to know as I will have to avoid the shallows if they are wandering round on the bottom of the ocean! Also I am going to go sick from work in a 3 days time for a week..joke wil be on them as I won't need to supply a fit note as the world would have ended by then! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 12 December, 2012 Share Posted 12 December, 2012 Do the Zombies swim though? They definitely float. When zombies become zombies do they sh!t themselves like when people die? They never mention it on the news. It might come in handy if i can smell zombies, I mean when I'm walking down dark tunnels and whatnot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint-Fred Posted 12 December, 2012 Share Posted 12 December, 2012 They definitely float. When zombies become zombies do they sh!t themselves like when people die? They never mention it on the news. It might come in handy if i can smell zombies, I mean when I'm walking down dark tunnels and whatnot. Does everyone **** themselves when they die? Never seen that happen on Columbo? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colehillsaint Posted 12 December, 2012 Share Posted 12 December, 2012 Does everyone **** themselves when they die? Never seen that happen on Columbo? Who knows Fred, but only 8 more days until we all get to find out. Mwahahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 13 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 13 December, 2012 If I'm honest I'm getting bored of this countdown now, I should have started it with a week to go rather than two weeks! Window Cleaner has also ruined my apocalypse buzz coming on here with all his logical bits of info, telling us all it's not gonna happen, or already did happen, or whatever. WC the muppet show isn't the place for reality, you should know that, I hope you don't go around telling children there's no such thing as Santa Claus as well buzz killington! Anyways, here's today's picture of the day (although the message within it is probably wrong, it should probably read 'the end may or may not be near, or may have already passed unnoticed as it was an end in biblical/metaphorical terms' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 13 December, 2012 Share Posted 13 December, 2012 Does the clock go on GMT or the International date line as I will have 8 hours less than you living in the UK Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colehillsaint Posted 13 December, 2012 Share Posted 13 December, 2012 If I'm honest I'm getting bored of this countdown now, I should have started it with a week to go rather than two weeks! Window Cleaner has also ruined my apocalypse buzz coming on here with all his logical bits of info, telling us all it's not gonna happen, or already did happen, or whatever. WC the muppet show isn't the place for reality, you should know that, I hope you don't go around telling children there's no such thing as Santa Claus as well buzz killington! That is a real shame Spudgun. Christmas can be a very lonely time for some of us, and this year you have definitely brightened things up for me with your reassurance that shortly I will die horribly, possibly with the added treat that a maniac will pop round to **** my dog while I am made to watch. Merry Christmas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 13 December, 2012 Share Posted 13 December, 2012 That is a real shame Spudgun. Christmas can be a very lonely time for some of us, and this year you have definitely brightened things up for me with your reassurance that shortly I will die horribly, possibly with the added treat that a maniac will pop round to **** my dog while I am made to watch. Merry Christmas. I noticed there was no Happy New Year Do you know something that the rest of us don't? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 13 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 13 December, 2012 That is a real shame Spudgun. Christmas can be a very lonely time for some of us, and this year you have definitely brightened things up for me with your reassurance that shortly I will die horribly, possibly with the added treat that a maniac will pop round to **** my dog while I am made to watch. Merry Christmas. I'm hopeful this will all still happen, but it's hard to argue when an organisation as reliable and factual as the church discredit these things. Maybe you should reconsider letting the Stain come round and having a go on your dog, I think he’d do it regardless of the world ending or not, so all is not lost yet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aqbadger Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 6 days left and you've given up on the thread Spuds. Not impressed. Anyhoo.....6 days to go muppets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 6 days left and you've given up on the thread Spuds. Not impressed. Anyhoo.....6 days to go muppets Spuds obviously went to court and it got adjourned for 28 days Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 If it does happen someone like Pap will probably claim that it was all faked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 I'm out drinking Thursday night, and I plan on getting slaughtered. If the end of the world is going to happen on the 21st, I hope it happens at 2am, just after my kebab has been finished. I either die drunk, or I die with a hangover, or I have to see the in-laws in the evening, and I'd rather it finished before that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 15 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 15 December, 2012 (edited) 6 days left and you've given up on the thread Spuds. Not impressed. Anyhoo.....6 days to go muppets Sorry you’re right I’ve been slacking on the update front and it’s sloppy. I’ve been busy planning on who I’m going to kill first, you don’t realise how many people you dislike until you see an opportunity to be able to kill, rape and maim in a lawless environment without any legal retribution, then suddenly it’s hard to decide who’s gonna get it first. Some of you may wish to spend your last days on the planet after the event, wanting to be with the people you love. If that’s the case, good for you & I hope you enjoy the experience of being ripped apart by zombies as you’re trying to protect your parents who are too old and slow to outwalk them. Personally I feel being bitten by the walking dead might actually add a bit of life to my otherwise boring parents, so I’m opting to be near some younger more agile people who can protect themselves. So with six days to go, start to plan who you want to rely on when it all kicks off, your family (which probably includes older people and females) who would be useless in a post-apocalyptic landscape, or some mates who you trust will have your back when it comes to the killing to survive part, it’s your choice! Here’s todays countdown photo: Edited 15 December, 2012 by Spudders Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 Sorry you’re right I’ve been slacking on the update front and it’s sloppy. I’ve been busy planning on who I’m going to kill first, you don’t realise how many people you dislike until you see an opportunity to be able to kill, rape and maim in a lawless environment without any legal retribution, then suddenly it’s hard to decide who’s gonna get it first. Some of you may wish to spend your last days on the planet after the event, wanting to be with the people you love. If that’s the case, good for you & I hope you enjoy the experience of being ripped apart by zombies as you’re trying to protect your parents who are too old and slow to outwalk them. Personally I feel being bitten by the walking dead might actually add a bit of life to my otherwise boring parents, so I’m opting to be near some younger more agile people who can protect themselves. So with six days to go, start to plan who want to rely on when it all kicks off, your family (which probably includes older people and females) who would be useless in a post-apocalyptic landscape, or some mates who you trust will have your back when it comes to the killing to survive part, it’s your choice! Here’s todays countdown photo: Half arsed gibberish and poor pictures. Clearly Spudguns heart isn't in this thread anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 15 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 15 December, 2012 What are you talking about, its good advice, you need to think about this sort of thing. When it all happens you need to know you are with some people who will work with you rather than against you (at least until you get to the point when it really does become every man for himself, it which case you're gonna get more meat out of choping up your mate as a food source, rather than your stringy grandmother who has very little meat on her!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 If zombies are already dead, will they survive it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 15 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 15 December, 2012 They will miss it Whitey (so I heard from a bloke at the pub) as they will rise as part of the event itself. I guess they could hope there is another apocalypse within a few days of the first one, but I’m not sure if the living dead would be to bothered about the whole event experience (I may try and remember to ask one after next Friday). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 I'm out drinking Thursday night, and I plan on getting slaughtered. If the end of the world is going to happen on the 21st, I hope it happens at 2am, just after my kebab has been finished. I either die drunk, or I die with a hangover, or I have to see the in-laws in the evening, and I'd rather it finished before that. Kebab wil probably finish you off anyway so no worries, wonder if there are Kebab vans down at Bugarach, must have a look at the Pleiades shots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 They will miss it Whitey (so I heard from a bloke at the pub) as they will rise as part of the event itself. I guess they could hope there is another apocalypse within a few days of the first one, but I’m not sure if the living dead would be to bothered about the whole event experience (I may try and remember to ask one after next Friday). But if everybody's dead then what will the zombies feed on? This might be the last time they get to rise up and have a rest, so in a sense it's an apocalypse for them too. :-( This hasn't been thought through properly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 But if everybody's dead then what will the zombies feed on? T. Kebabs,Burgers and Pizzas, same as they do now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 Kebabs,Burgers and Pizzas, same as they do now. Only after chucking out time though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 15 December, 2012 Author Share Posted 15 December, 2012 But if everybody's dead then what will the zombies feed on? This might be the last time they get to rise up and have a rest, so in a sense it's an apocalypse for them too. :-( This hasn't been thought through properly. My understanding is that the last survivor (be that zombie or human) is the winner. Once there’s a winner they become the next god and are given the chance to create the next world and universe. The last apocalypse winner was a white bearded old man, this time it could be you and the next god would still be a white bearded old man so we’ll have some continuity between this and the next universe! I think once this cycle happens 10 times, all of the universe gods compete against each other in a total wipeout universe challenge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colehillsaint Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
colehillsaint Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 My understanding is that the last survivor (be that zombie or human) is the winner. Once there’s a winner they become the next god and are given the chance to create the next world and universe. The last apocalypse winner was a white bearded old man, this time it could be you and the next god would still be a white bearded old man so we’ll have some continuity between this and the next universe! I think once this cycle happens 10 times, all of the universe gods compete against each other in a total wipeout universe challenge. Liking this! Exactly the kind of hocum I will be looking to encourage in my fuel dump stockade. Who to be with is a good one. Obviously it's good night Vienna for the family. I think you want comrades that are fit enough to survive. They need to be capable of retaining there humanity through some pretty horrific stuff. I'm thinking that girls will be better at this. Also good for my planned re-population programme. If they are quite fit, but have some nice fleshy soft bits, they will make for good chow if it comes to it. Also a degree of military type drill training will help them with the survival thing. I'm struggling to see far past the Crystal Palace cheerleader's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 15 December, 2012 Share Posted 15 December, 2012 What are you talking about, its good advice, you need to think about this sort of thing. When it all happens you need to know you are with some people who will work with you rather than against you (at least until you get to the point when it really does become every man for himself, it which case you're gonna get more meat out of choping up your mate as a food source, rather than your stringy grandmother who has very little meat on her!!!! Should I kill my Boxer dog now then and go and get a b*sard hard like a pitbull or will that get zombiefied and kill me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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