Spudders Posted 7 December, 2012 Posted 7 December, 2012 It’s only 14 days until the end of the world now, so I thought it’d be worth a daily count down. Maybe a place to reflect on things in life, things you need to do before it happens and any other thoughts on the matter. Personally I wish it’d hurry up, it’s nice to have something to look forwards to without all the commercial nonsense. I’m seeing Christmas stuff everywhere at the moment, but the end of the world advertising seems a bit more subtle which is strange considering that when you think about it, as an event, it’s bigger than Christmas really. I wish it was a bit clearer what time of the day it’s happening as I’ve got something on in the evening so I’m hoping it happens during that event so I won’t have to worry about walking home in the cold. Here's todays countdown photo:
Liquidshokk Posted 7 December, 2012 Posted 7 December, 2012 http://news.sky.com/story/1022272/apocalypse-advice-issued-for-end-of-the-world
Spudders Posted 7 December, 2012 Author Posted 7 December, 2012 http://news.sky.com/story/1022272/apocalypse-advice-issued-for-end-of-the-world I like the picture they used, I may use that for tomorrows countdown update!
aqbadger Posted 7 December, 2012 Posted 7 December, 2012 Any ideas how it's going to happen? I'm going to plump for Super Volcano
Spudders Posted 7 December, 2012 Author Posted 7 December, 2012 Any ideas how it's going to happen? I'm going to plump for Super Volcano Do you think one massive one, so big it goes all around the world, or are you thinking several of them?
aqbadger Posted 7 December, 2012 Posted 7 December, 2012 Do you think one massive one, so big it goes all around the world, or are you thinking several of them? One massive one. Alien attack would be much more fun of course, so am hoping for that.
the stain Posted 7 December, 2012 Posted 7 December, 2012 I've been hoarding foodstuffs and toilet paper for months. I am prepared for this ****.
Spudders Posted 7 December, 2012 Author Posted 7 December, 2012 If the world's going to end why would you need bog roll? Even if you shat yourself as it happens, you'll not be around for long afterwards
Spudders Posted 7 December, 2012 Author Posted 7 December, 2012 Thinking about it, you've made me realise, I've been planning on total annihilation and death, but if it is some half arsed event that involves survivors and I don’t die, I’m gonna be pretty badly prepared! Maybe I need to rethink my plans?
SuperMikey Posted 7 December, 2012 Posted 7 December, 2012 Bet i'll be at work when the asteroid hits. Fine fùcking way to go.
Saint in Paradise Posted 8 December, 2012 Posted 8 December, 2012 Well it will have to be before 11.00 a.m. on the 21st at the latest otherwise it will be the 22nd in the Southern Hemisphere.
Whitey Grandad Posted 8 December, 2012 Posted 8 December, 2012 Well it will have to be before 11.00 a.m. on the 21st at the latest otherwise it will be the 22nd in the Southern Hemisphere. But that's not fair. Some of the world will get longer than other parts! Perhaps it will be a rolling apocalypse, arriving with the daybreak? Or sunset? Maybe even afternoon tea. If we all go without our tea at four o'clock then perhaps we can be saved after all. See, there's always hope.
Spudders Posted 8 December, 2012 Author Posted 8 December, 2012 13 days to go folks, 13 days. Time to start thinking about what your panic face will look like? Here’s todays countdown photo: Well it will have to be before 11.00 a.m. on the 21st at the latest otherwise it will be the 22nd in the Southern Hemisphere.Good point, and why should they get to see the four horsemen of the apocalypse hours before us, life’s so unfair But that's not fair. Some of the world will get longer than other parts! Perhaps it will be a rolling apocalypseThat fits with the one massive volcano theory and then the lava could roll around the world slowly burning the flesh from our skin
CB Saint Posted 8 December, 2012 Posted 8 December, 2012 So is everyone buying their pressies now or waiting for the post apocalyptic anarchy to pillage all the gear.
PhilippineSaint Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 So is everyone buying their pressies now or waiting for the post apocalyptic anarchy to pillage all the gear. Shopping Mall on 23rd with possible Zombie attacks thrown in so got to be the gun store first.
Spudders Posted 9 December, 2012 Author Posted 9 December, 2012 OK you’ve practiced your panic face so when it happens you’re ready to look suitably scared. Now it’s time to think about what happens next and in summary it will be one of two things: The event will be of such a magnitude that within seconds we will all be turned into dust There will be pain and suffering, but more importantly there will be survivors. If it’s option 1 then there’s very little you can do other than briefly think about how meaningless your life has been in the grand scheme of things. For today’s countdown task we are going to assume it’s option 2. You’ve survived the event, but all around is death, pain and suffering. Spend today thinking about the sorts of things you’ll see, there will be bodies, burnt bodies, bodies with bits hanging off them. There we be people who are alive but with bits hanging off, they’ll be screaming and in pain. There may be people who are dead but still alive if the dead rise or zombies are on the apocalypse guest list. You need to be mentally prepared for all of these things if you have any chance of surviving the initial carnage. Be ready, tomorrow we’ll talk about where to go, but for today focus on what horrific sights you’ll be faced with. Here’s todays countdown photo:
the stain Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 I'd find all the people who have bits hanging off them and kill them, tear off the bits and keep them in a bag. Some of the bits I would eat later (leg, breast etc) and bits I would use for sexual gratification (penis mainly). I think I'd be quite happy.
colehillsaint Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 I have access to a substantial fuel dump, and only yesterday stocked up on tinned corned beef from Sainsbury on line shopping. Bring it on.
Whitey Grandad Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 If I survive, can I come on here for advice? It's not the apocalypse that worries me, it's having to rely on you lot afterwards.
colehillsaint Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 If I survive, can I come on here for advice? It's not the apocalypse that worries me, it's having to rely on you lot afterwards. To get advice from me you will need a stock of medium thick white sliced, some utterly buttery, and a jar of colemans mustard. Otherwise you can F off.
Spudders Posted 9 December, 2012 Author Posted 9 December, 2012 If I survive, can I come on here for advice? It's not the apocalypse that worries me, it's having to rely on you lot afterwards. Afterwards it's every man for himself! To get advice from me you will need a stock of medium thick white sliced, some utterly buttery, and a jar of colemans mustard. Otherwise you can F off. Stop thinking about food stocks, we will come to that in a few days time, today is all about mental preperation for the horrors that await!
PhilippineSaint Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 Afterwards it's every man for himself! Stop thinking about food stocks, we will come to that in a few days time, today is all about mental preperation for the horrors that await! Every Saints fan is prepared for the apocalypse it happens everytime we lose on the main board, Alpine is possibly the fifth horseman
colehillsaint Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 Stop thinking about food stocks, we will come to that in a few days time, today is all about mental preperation for the horrors that await! OK. I am only really interested if my dog survives. The wife and kids are obviously expendable, to make me haunted and bitter enough to get through the chaos. In fact I will probably feed them to the dog. Caring for the dog will represent my last vestige of humanity.
the stain Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 I'm going to find your dog and rape it to death, in front of you.
PhilippineSaint Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 I'm going to find your dog and rape it to death, in front of you. ooh your good at this
the stain Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 I've had practice. Not of the apocalypse, obviously.
PhilippineSaint Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 I've had practice. Not of the apocalypse, obviously. Raping Dogs? You went to the Top Rank then
colehillsaint Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 (edited) I'm going to find your dog and rape it to death, in front of you. You're not getting any F ing corned beef either. Edited 9 December, 2012 by colehillsaint
the stain Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 You're not getting any F ing corned beef either. You won't last a minute in the apocalypse. I'm going to destroy you by raping to death the one thing you care about, meaning more food, water and fuel for me, and all you've got as a comeback is an empty thread about not sharing some corned beef? If I want your corned beef, I'll just take it. Just like I'll take your dog.
colehillsaint Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 You won't last a minute in the apocalypse. I'm going to destroy you by raping to death the one thing you care about, meaning more food, water and fuel for me, and all you've got as a comeback is an empty thread about not sharing some corned beef? If I want your corned beef, I'll just take it. Just like I'll take your dog. The apocalypse is already a good deal more unpleasant than I had expected.
Jillyanne Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 I have three freezers full of food and a shed load of tins in the cupboard so I will be just fine, plan to hide in the garage til its over then run back to the house, zombies permitting obviously.
colehillsaint Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 Btw Stain, if you don't know me you are looking for an albino Labrador Poodle cross with a limp.
Spudders Posted 9 December, 2012 Author Posted 9 December, 2012 I have three freezers full of food and a shed load of tins in the cupboard so I will be just fine, plan to hide in the garage til its over then run back to the house, zombies permitting obviously. If anyone knows where Jillyanne lives, pm me, looks like we've got a ready made food stash!
Spudders Posted 9 December, 2012 Author Posted 9 December, 2012 The apocalypse is already a good deal more unpleasant than I had expected. Just as well this thread is helping you prepare for it then, you might have a fighting chance by the time we get to the day. But the way, what sort of apocalypse were you thinking of, teletubbies throwing foam balls at people!
colehillsaint Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 Just as well this thread is helping you prepare for it then, you might have a fighting chance by the time we get to the day. But the way, what sort of apocalypse were you thinking of, teletubbies throwing foam balls at people! No prepared for full horror less the pet buggary.
Spudders Posted 9 December, 2012 Author Posted 9 December, 2012 No prepared for full horror less the pet buggary. People like the stain will bugger anything given the chance, it'll be a dog eat dog world out there in less than two week. If there were teletubbies throwing foam balls about, the stain would be right in there, ripping down the back of their tubbygrows and buggering away as soon as! You'll end up doing it yourself once your corned beef stocks run out, just to get some more food. Jillyanne has a massive stockpile, we can set the stain on her!
the stain Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 I am happy to bugger colehillsaints dog, but apocalypse or not, jillsaint is a step too far.
the stain Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 Anyway, you all seem to be missing the point. I'm not buggering the dog for fun. It's a message to colehillsaints. In fact, it's a message to everyone. And the message is this: You want to mess with me? You think you can hide your worldly goods from me? You think you can protect yourself? Well you can't. Because come the apocalypse I'm going to get nasty on your ass and your dogs ass too. Everything you have is mine, so hand it over and no one will get hurt, apart from your dog.
colehillsaint Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 If I have to sodomise a dog to emerge as a post apocalypse warlord I think I'm going to have man up a little. At least I have a couple of weeks left to get my head round it. I thought it would be all about burning out nests of sunlight sensitive mutants and mig welding sharp stuff to old trucks.
Spudders Posted 9 December, 2012 Author Posted 9 December, 2012 If your neighbours have any dogs colehill, it may be worth you practicing now, let us know how it goes!
colehillsaint Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 OK, I'm back, but I don't really want to talk about it.
the stain Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 That was quick. I can see you're not a considerate lover.
Spudders Posted 9 December, 2012 Author Posted 9 December, 2012 Maybe it wasn’t through choice, maybe there was an awkward premature event which is why colehill doesn’t want to talk about it.
colehillsaint Posted 9 December, 2012 Posted 9 December, 2012 I can't f*** about. If I don't get with the programme some other bastard is going to come round and screw my border terrier. They will probably cut my tongue out and I will end up as some kind of henchman, with only 20 years of humiliation to look forward to. Nothing to hope for but a long wait for them to turn their back so I can stab them with a sharpened stick I've concealed up my arse for 10 years.
Spudders Posted 9 December, 2012 Author Posted 9 December, 2012 so I can stab them with a sharpened stick I've concealed up my arse for 10 years. You may take some comfort from the shock and pain that any of your rapers get when they feel your concealment!
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