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The Grumpy B@stards Thread


Colinjb
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A thread for all the grumbles and rants of the irate gentleman.

 

Seriously, how sh*t is Saturday night television in this day and age? Reality TV kareoke and C listers learning to Dance, what a shambles. No variety, no A-listers at their peak just b*llocks. Surely an invitation to everyone to evacuate their houses for the period between the 6 o'clock news and Match of the Day in an effort to re-invigorate the domestic Pub industry.

 

Oh for the days of Noel's House Party..... I shudder saying that but at least it was imaginative and amusing in a low brow sort of way as opposed to the hackneyed b*llocks we have to put up with now.

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Don't even start,i've given up smoking after 29 years and tonight have told a mate to f uck off and almost had a bus driver call the ob on me, he was rude what can i say?

 

Bus drivers can be right precious little Hitlers. There was one who drove for Blue Line when I was at 6th form who refused to take the college passes despite the fact it said explicitly that they were good for Stagecoach and Blue Line services in the Winchester/Southampton area..... "Oh but we are Brijan Tours, subcontracted" he claimed, yes but what colours is your bus running in and who is paying your subcontracted wages you utter ****?

Edited by Colinjb
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You lot can stop whining. I'm still working, and having to endure the mrs watching the f*cking x factor in the background, with a soupcon of moaning about all the jobs round the house that need doing during the intervals. ffs. Plus the hound is mithering for a walk, and I cant see the wife volunteering to take her. FFS.

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You lot can stop whining. I'm still working, and having to endure the mrs watching the f*cking x factor in the background, with a soupcon of moaning about all the jobs round the house that need doing during the intervals. ffs. Plus the hound is mithering for a walk, and I cant see the wife volunteering to take her. FFS.

 

Kiss the dog shoot the wife. no bloody xfactor, no bloody jobs about the house all sorted. :D

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You lot can stop whining. I'm still working, and having to endure the mrs watching the f*cking x factor in the background, with a soupcon of moaning about all the jobs round the house that need doing during the intervals. ffs. Plus the hound is mithering for a walk, and I cant see the wife volunteering to take her. FFS.

 

This except Ive not got a dog.

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Thanks for the support, wills and smirker. The situation has now escalated somewhat, some utter c*nt called charming/charmain or something just squawked out a pile of dross and couldnt hit a note in tune, when I pointed this out to the spouse its led to a, ahem, situation. At least ive knocked off the job now.

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Thanks for the support, wills and smirker. The situation has now escalated somewhat, some utter c*nt called charming/charmain or something just squawked out a pile of dross and couldnt hit a note in tune, when I pointed this out to the spouse its led to a, ahem, situation. At least ive knocked off the job now.

 

I too have to (usually) watch teh X factor, James is the only decent one, I wont comment on the rest.

 

Still, you get to watch a couple of birds eat cock next, though its not as exciting as you would think.

 

I will have a moan though, old people and driving, they shouldnt be allowed on the road, cant drive, have no road sense, sit in the middle lane etc Old people in general annoy me, useless with technology, do everything slowly in a confused manner. Anyone who thought there would not be a zombie apocalypse clearly hasnt been in Bitterne at 12 o clock on a weekday

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I too have to (usually) watch teh X factor, James is the only decent one, I wont comment on the rest.

 

Still, you get to watch a couple of birds eat cock next, though its not as exciting as you would think.

 

I will have a moan though, old people and driving, they shouldnt be allowed on the road, cant drive, have no road sense, sit in the middle lane etc Old people in general annoy me, useless with technology, do everything slowly in a confused manner. Anyone who thought there would not be a zombie apocalypse clearly hasnt been in Bitterne at 12 o clock on a weekday

 

Would have replied earlier but taken me 30 minutes to work out how to use this damn technology, whats wrong with carrier pidgeons.

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What amuses me is all the helmets that week after week whinge on their facebook statues about how sh*te/fixed X Factor is, yet still watch it. Luckily i dont have to watch any of that sh*te, although she does like soaps and cooking programmes. I dont mind a bit of Take Me Out, it's a great leveller, it makes me realise what an incredible male i am and also no matter how much your bird p*sses you off, at least she's not as bad as the women on there.

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What amuses me is all the helmets that week after week whinge on their facebook statues about how sh*te/fixed X Factor is, yet still watch it. Luckily i dont have to watch any of that sh*te, although she does like soaps and cooking programmes. I dont mind a bit of Take Me Out, it's a great leveller, it makes me realise what an incredible male i am and also no matter how much your bird p*sses you off, at least she's not as bad as the women on there.

 

I had a hospital appointment the other day, and in the waiting room they had jeremy kyle on the tv. That has much the same effect as you're describing.

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I have a grumble, F*ucking card factory on a Saturday, surely there isn't a worse place on earth??

i agree but would argue Tesco this morning ran it close :x

why do people make shopping a family outing where they argue & moan like f@ck the whole time. make a list & get 1 person to do it ffs! smash & grab style.

also old g1ts moaning about how busy it is f@ck me off. come in the week while people are at work then. everyone else wouldn't have to put up with you dithering about & blocking the bloody aisle's!

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Speed humps in castle point. Which retard decided that they needed to rival the Andes. Car grounds on it every time. And you can't go at them slowly otherwise you won't have enough forward motion to get over the top and you will stuck there teetering back and forth, whilst you look for the number of a towing company.

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Went to the the supermarket earlier, is it just my imagination or are there more rancid sweaty bastards around nowadays? I passed at least half a dozen in the aisles that I had to veer away from because of the stink. Dont they ever wash? or change their f*cking clothes??? Most of them looked like sh*t as well, apart from one fit bird, as soon as she walked past me I honestly thought "wheres the cloud of smoke". ffs. And to cap it, waiting at the checkout I had started piling my stuff on the belt when some ugly looking pikey joins the queue right behind me. No word of a lie, he smelled so appalling I actually started to gag, had to get my stuff back off and go to another till. If he happens to be reading this, you're in sainsburys you hideous fat c*nt, buy some f*cking deodorant.

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Parked under a tree last night. Woke up to find the local avian population had used my car as a khazi. The little feathered feckers must have had a curry / bostick combo for dinner, because there is so much of it and it has set like cement.

 

This is still making me grumpy.

 

My wife has now entered the Xmas OCD super organised mode. This guarantees that I will be miserable for the next three weeks. Humbug.

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fu ck off christmas

 

Also some new people have moved into the flat above me who are clearly elephants judging by the stomping around they do. I'd like to go up and ask them to stop stomping about but if they are total knobs (like a lot of people these days) they could just do it more to annoy me!

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fu ck off christmas

 

Also some new people have moved into the flat above me who are clearly elephants judging by the stomping around they do. I'd like to go up and ask them to stop stomping about but if they are total knobs (like a lot of people these days) they could just do it more to annoy me!

 

 

I had that a few years ago, the fellow downstairs was a nightmare, you are right doing things sometimes like even being polite about the noise makes it worse, got my own back though as on the last day of living there I gave the keys to a mate who had a 48 hour party in the flat.

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fu ck off christmas

 

Also some new people have moved into the flat above me who are clearly elephants judging by the stomping around they do. I'd like to go up and ask them to stop stomping about but if they are total knobs (like a lot of people these days) they could just do it more to annoy me!

 

this!

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Indeed and what about adults with no children and no girlfriend/wife. I absolutly hate christmas. I've got several friends that invite me to spend christmas day with their families, which is lovely of them, then I feel bad trying to explain to them why I'd rather sit at home on my own in my undercrackers drinking JD and watching tv christmas day, rather than having to drive/walk to theirs and spend the day pretending to be happy as their children climb all over me.

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Indeed and what about adults with no children and no girlfriend/wife. I absolutly hate christmas. I've got several friends that invite me to spend christmas day with their families, which is lovely of them, then I feel bad trying to explain to them why I'd rather sit at home on my own in my undercrackers drinking JD and watching tv christmas day, rather than having to drive/walk to theirs and spend the day pretending to be happy as their children climb all over me.

 

Can I take it your not coming to mine on xmas day, my other guests kylie, danni & tulisa will be so dissapointed.

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Thankfully the end of the world is only a couple of weeks away

 

Excellent! I was hoping for nuclear holocaust personally, but if it's to be epic natural destabilisation then so be it. I've already worked out my 'death face' for when I get frozen.

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Don't you just hate it when people saunter aimlessly in shops.

 

You know what you want, you go in with the intention of going in and getting out as soon as possible, avoiding conversation/contact/general human interaction with any other examples of society you may come across. But you get caught behind various groups of people seemingly randomly wandering around just looking about at anything on the shelves.

 

They stand in the way of the exact items you need and look entirely put upon when you ask politely for them to move aside after you have been waiting patiently for several minutes for them to stop dithering and let you get to that one part of the shelf you need to get to.

 

W@nkers.

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Or they stop just inside/outside shop doorways

 

Oh yes! Complete obstruction of a public walkway, and again, such a trauma when they are asked to actually be considerate and let people come in. The general public really are general bloody idiots.

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Fag bags who, because they cannot suck the life out of their cancer sticks inside a public place, stand right at the entrance/exit of a public place to suck the life out of their cancer sticks thus making a stench ridden fog permeate one's clothes as you negotiate your way into the public place. E.G. Southampton General Hospital, both patients and public, despite the ban on smoking in the grounds.

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Bus drivers can be right precious little Hitlers. There was one who drove for Blue Line when I was at 6th form who refused to take the college passes despite the fact it said explicitly that they were good for Stagecoach and Blue Line services in the Winchester/Southampton area..... "Oh but we are Brijan Tours, subcontracted" he claimed, yes but what colours is your bus running in and who is paying your subcontracted wages you utter ****?

 

It's as if they get off on being as awkward as they possibly can, or going out of there way to refuse customers.

 

Once got refused to be let on a bus when trying to pay for a £7.60 fare using a tenner. Walking away, I turned to my gf at the time saying, well that's a bit useless, which he apparently heard, started banging on his little window and calling me a f*cking w4nker.

 

I just laughed and gave him a thumbs up whilst queueing for a different bus, to which he got out of his little cabin (which is illegal, technically) and made for me. He then realised he was half my height (not talking myself up, he was seriously about 5"2 and I am about 6"3), so quickly bottled that, and had a chat with the other bus driver and genuinely said "Don't let him on - he called me useless".

 

Everyone on the bus laughed at the dwarfy little muppet, but I wasn't allowed on the bus. Idiot.

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