Dibden Purlieu Saint Posted 29 November, 2012 Share Posted 29 November, 2012 Not sure if anyone reads Football365.com on here, but as a regular reader and contributor through the Mailbox I came across this gem of a story this afternoon. Enjoy, cos I certainly did. "This Is Great Last night's game against Norwich gives me an opportunity to regale you with possibly the greatest football stitch up ever in the history of the world. About 5 years back when saints were on their downward slide through the leagues the local radio station, saint fm, ran a competition to win tickets for the saints Norwich game that week. I hadn't heard about it due to a radio ban by my then fascist boss but my mum phoned me to tell me and to beg me to enter. The best poem about saints would win said tickets and a little tour before the game to meet a couple of the players. Mums a massive saints fan and asked me to write a poem on her behalf so she could get the tickets. I duly obliged, writing being a bit of a hobby and something I'm a bit handy at (gizajob) and handed the piece to mum to submit. About a week later I got a call from the station saying that my mum had won but she had admitted it was my poem and did I want the prize? I was chuffed to be fair, quite proud of my efforts so came clean and claimed the prize. So me and mum turn up to the game and get ushered in, all the while my mum keeps bursting into fits of giggles and laughter. I knew something was up because mum, dad and my brother all love to stitch me up but for the life of me I couldn't work out what. We do the tour, meet a couple of fringe players, get some free merchandise and then the pr guide says "Well its ten minutes to kick off I suppose we better get you up there" Thinking he meant the stands I started to follow but mum hangs back, next thing I know I'm getting led onto the pitch introduced as the competition winner and then told to read the poem out in front of 26000 fans. I was f**king mortified. Embarrassed wasn't the word. About 1500 Norwich fans chanting "w*nker w*nker w*nker" followed by "what the f**king hell was that" with me stood on the hallowed wishing it would just open up taking me and those f**kers in the Northam end with me!! So well done mum (she reads the site and thinks johnny nic is a hero) for completely humiliating me in front of thousands of people and getting me a good 'un and giving me a better football anecdote than most!! Martin (going to football with mum really makes me look well cool) Ansell" Does Martin post on here by the way? Be suprised if he didn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
washsaint Posted 29 November, 2012 Share Posted 29 November, 2012 Brilliant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Kraken Posted 29 November, 2012 Share Posted 29 November, 2012 Don't know if he posts on here, but Martin Ansell is a long time contributor to F365. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glasgow_Saint Posted 29 November, 2012 Share Posted 29 November, 2012 I am Martin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint_in_munich Posted 29 November, 2012 Share Posted 29 November, 2012 I am Martin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctoroncall Posted 29 November, 2012 Share Posted 29 November, 2012 oh, I thought my wife was Martin. Nice story by the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 29 November, 2012 Share Posted 29 November, 2012 Kind of want to hear the poem now! Southampton by Bearsy I once knew a girl whose vagina was hairy, I said what's your name, she said her name was St. Mary. Oh what a coincidence that's my favourite ground! She said it's named after me cos if you stay in more than 15 minutes I charge you one pound. Or something. That's about parking charges! I couldn't make it scan tho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Kraken Posted 29 November, 2012 Share Posted 29 November, 2012 That's a pretty long line last line of the poem, Bear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 29 November, 2012 Share Posted 29 November, 2012 (edited) Harder than it looks, writing the poetry. Respects to Ansell! Edited 29 November, 2012 by Bearsy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 29 November, 2012 Share Posted 29 November, 2012 Harding than it looks, writing the poetry. Respects to Ansell! Peotry. Its peotry, as any Willans and Searle aficionado will confirm. Funny story, btw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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