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How often do you **** on yourself?


Turkish
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I get a fair bit of spray back,probably a couple of times a week. Sometimes I p*ss on my legs and trousers when having a slash when having a poo where the wee goes up and goes betwen the gap between the toilet seat and rim. The last time I p*ssed myself was about a year ago when I got smashed and couldn't get my knob out in time.

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I get a fair bit of spray back,probably a couple of times a week. Sometimes I p*ss on my legs and trousers when having a slash when having a poo where the wee goes up and goes betwen the gap between the toilet seat and rim. The last time I p*ssed myself was about a year ago when I got smashed and couldn't get my knob out in time.

 

Jeans too tight?

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Jeans too tight?

 

Was wearing a suit, been out with customers in London and was caught short on the tube, ran to the toilet at Waterloo but couldn't get my knob outin time and ended up with a ****ing in little bit in my pants. Biggest problem was it was grey so left a very obvious patch FFS

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Missed an opportunity there Turkish, the correct response should have been "knob was too big".

 

The problem with needing a **** is that a lot of it is in the mind. The closer you get to actually ****ing or even sh1tting the more you need it and the less you can hold it. I bet if you had another two stops on the tube you would not have ****ed yourself at the same point in time but would probably have ****ed yourself at the same point in the process, standing in front of the urinal trying to get your pecker out. The only advice I can give is to they and trick your brain into believing you still have ages to wait. It is difficult though, when it actually knows you are searching for 20p because you are just outside the toilet.

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Sh it and spunk, I won't lie.

 

Does one trigger off the other?

 

I love Turkish's moral code, so far this weekend alone:

 

It is fine to **** yourself on a regular basis however it is not ok to drink a cocktail of any kind.

 

"Baddie’s bound by ancient codes of decency and secrecy, Look out for the man who’ll bum your wife and then shake your hand."

 

He's my kind of guy.

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I am able to control my bodily functions. I think it's a little sad if grown men p iss themselves once, but to say "the last time I p issed myself...." suggests its happened on a number of occasions.

 

Great Post. You're fast being the Thomas Aqunius of mongboards with your insight and wisdom. If only you could read the subject properly then you'll be the Plato.

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Great Post. You're fast being the Thomas Aqunius of mongboards with your insight and wisdom. If only you could read the subject properly then you'll be the Plato.

 

Hello! You know some impressive names! Anyway, don't get all upset, it's only the Internet. It's not worth wetting yourself about.

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Thanks spud, I think... Unless you think I'm gay... I'm not, the one you are looking for is Bearsy, he's double gay.

 

It's been proven in full proof challenges 1) swear roulette 2) getting Milton to pm you challenge.

 

Don’t be daft Tokyo I know you are not gay, being a mans man just means men like and admire you, it doesn’t mean they want to bum you all over the place. I have gay friends and to start with I thought they’d obviously just be thinking of buming me all the time, but it turns out that gay people have taste and therefore find me repulsive as well, they’re just like girls really, but without the boobies and lady parts.

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By denying that you're gay, what you're saying is that it's wrong and bad to be gay, which makes you homophobic, which I believe should mean infractions. I have reported your post.

 

No, I like gays (I'm friend with Bearsy for example) but I'm not one. I was simply saying if you fancy a bum

, I'm not your man.

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An all on Turkish!

 

You may want to go back and recheck this Tokyo, I don't like to call you a mistake maker, but you may have made a mistake!

 

Edit...

ok I see what you mean, the stain was aiming his comment at Turkish so, it was kind of Turkish related. My bad, I'm gonna go watch the seagulls out the window for a bit and think about the confusion I'm causing this morning.

Edited by Spudders
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Make sure you're wearing dark trousers when you're pretending to be Turkish.

 

username + post

 

I'm fed up with the little drip drips you sometimes get post p!ss when re-holstering snake in pants, so what I do is carry a little handkerchief in my trouser pocket to give it a little dab dab first.

 

Sometimes, when a girl is sneezing or having a runny nose, I offer her my d!ck towel.

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I actually blame the drip drips on my habit of lifting my pee-pee over the waistband of my pants, rather than using the fly. What happens is the waist band pushes against the base of my p!ss tube and causes a small reservoir of p!ss to build up, so when i tuck my knob back in the pressure is released and I'm experiencing a small second p!ss directly into my underpants.

 

They should put warnings bout this on pant labels. Perhaps a short educational video.

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I actually blame the drip drips on my habit of lifting my pee-pee over the waistband of my pants, rather than using the fly. What happens is the waist band pushes against the base of my p!ss tube and causes a small reservoir of p!ss to build up, so when i tuck my knob back in the pressure is released and I'm experiencing a small second p!ss directly into my underpants.

 

They should put warnings bout this on pant labels. Perhaps a short educational video.

If the club store sold saints p!ss sacks this whole problem would be solved.

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I have an agreement with Baj that if SB signs up, the fiver get paid directly into my account.

 

Turkish, if you want a holiday with charming man and sour mash, me and bear will cover for you.

 

I just want to qualify for the next curry night.

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