scotty Posted 7 November, 2012 Share Posted 7 November, 2012 **** that, I've read his 50 shades of Grey thread, god knows what kind of weirdness I'd be letting myself in for. You wouldn't be able to sit down for weeks. On the plus side, at least after he'd finished with you he would f*ck off and hibernate, (a scenario my mrs is all too familiar with.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint_clark Posted 7 November, 2012 Share Posted 7 November, 2012 Ok, we'll keep you up to date with who dune is posting as and take shifts on alpine suicide watch for 48 hours after home games. I'll also pm you some 'private' Japanese lessons with miss hanna. Done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 7 November, 2012 Share Posted 7 November, 2012 I'm already starting work on the Mod Of The Year awards. It's gonna be a main board sticky thread launched in December, with a poll so everyone can vote for their most favourite mods. What I need though is a short bio piece for each of the dumb mods. They need to be like this: Just Mike A new addition to the saintsweb moderation team for this year, Just Mike was appointed following one of the most non-transparent and rigged elections this side of Uganda. Nonetheless Just Mike has proven to be a popular and genial figure amongst most posters, with his softly-softly approach winning many friends. If he were a TV character: Mr Baraclough from Porridge. Popular amongst the inmates, but lacks the authority of Mackay (Chalet) Best fractions/bans: Yet to make a real mark, but did fraction notnowcato for "defending alpine", Nov 2012 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 7 November, 2012 Author Share Posted 7 November, 2012 Done. Great! Your first job is to ban MLG, just for 24 hours for a laugh. Post his pm reactions to the banning on here, including the stats and graphs and stuff. After that change Tukish's user name to Turdish, he loves this. Also, change his location to "on pussy patrol in my BMW". Finally, reinstate dune but on the condition he posts under the user name 'dumb nazi' . Cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 7 November, 2012 Share Posted 7 November, 2012 Lols. Can't wait to see MLGs "video response" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miltonroader07 Posted 8 November, 2012 Share Posted 8 November, 2012 Dude I'm still here just been bit business today! Don't be putting ideas in the dumb mods head bout banning me tho, you know what they're like! They ain't even thought to fraction me as yet for dropping cvnt bombs all over their precious main boards! Thought I was the only nutter on the scene Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St Chalet Posted 8 November, 2012 Share Posted 8 November, 2012 being a mod clearly pays well!! Will all come tumbling down when the cash for infractions scandal is revealed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St Chalet Posted 8 November, 2012 Share Posted 8 November, 2012 I dunno if there'll be much left over, cos immediately after the last spate of bannings, St. Chalet was posting this: http://www.saintsweb.co.uk/showthread.php?13525-What-do-you-drive-Pics/page7 Oooh swaanky new motor! He's blanked the number plate out, but it actually reads DUNE5 It is actually B4N YOU. I purchased it many years ago at Mod prep school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 8 November, 2012 Author Share Posted 8 November, 2012 Why not be an informer as well? We'll help you keep it hushed. We are going to open a 'mods protection programme' you just need to change your name to Colin and your location to little Rock Arkansas. Your back story is that you are a cheese salesman (get it?) with 2 kids and a dog (dog optional). What do you say? Are you in? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 8 November, 2012 Share Posted 8 November, 2012 The 'who's banned' thread was move to the secret mod board. That's where they organize their special curry nights and choose who's going to give out the infractions. I can confirm that this is true. Through a massive administrative cock-up I've been given access to the secret mod board. The usually smooth-running renewal system that never, ever goes wrong went wrong for me. I contacted the relevant authorities and was told that my membership had been reinstated. Imagine my surprise when I logged in to see that a new forum (the secret mod board) had been added to the top of the forum list. I go in there every so often to have a nose around. It's like some sort of mirror-image, Orwellian parody of the main forum threads but mixed with elements from a Dan Brown illuminati tale. There are threads on each of us in a sub-forum called "Catharsis". Here the mods post their sarcastic, cruel and very rude comments about the forum members. This is how they manage to look cool and aloof and never bite despite immense bear-shaped provocation. In here they also use terms like underclass, spongers, benefit cheats and curry thiefs to refer to Registered Users. There's a sub forum called The Puppet Show in which the mods pick a random (and not so random) poster that they all gang up on to get them to do their bidding. There are a number of 5 star rated threads in here where they've constructed situations that have forced some posters to, as they call it, "Go Ugly". This is where the posters (you know who you are) get so wound up that they head off to the Ugly Inside vowing never to return, leaving a trail of crib-jettisoned playthings in their wake. They've got a post where Steve Grant reviews books. He's doing a really popular, chapter-by-chapter, literary dissection of Mein Kampf at the moment. It's not very edifying to be honest because most of the other mods seem to be literally masturbating over the vision of absolute power that The Grant is drip-feeding them. I personally found the discussion that followed Chapter 8 very upsetting. I think I might be breaking a commercial confidence here, but here goes. There's a massive thread that chronicles Steve Grant and Baj's long and drawn out attempts to takeover another forum. It's called the PompeyOnline Takeover Saga. It's full of analysis of PompeyOnline's finances and complex ownership structures. If PompeyOnline ever goes offline due to a technical fault then the thread absolutely erupts. Bores the crap out of me so I usually stay clear. Shocking revelation #1. There is no swear filter in the secret mod board. Shocking revelation #2. The mods are all actually part of a secret organisation that plans world domination. They rather grandly refer to themselves as The Modfathers. And here's the thing. JustMike is the leader of The Modfathers. Far from being one of the most recently elected mods (they call this being a made fan), no that was just a cover story, he's actually running the show. And far from being the friendly bobby-on-the-beat that he might appear, he is a truly evil genius. You should see some of things he posts about Saint in Paradise. Shocking revelation #3. alpine_saint is part of this Modfather organisation. He is the "Social Secretary" and his main role is to organise the curry evenings. I was really surprised to learn that he's actually a Life Coach and Positivity Counsellor in real life and counts Nigel Adkins among his clients. This is why he is immune from wind-uppery censure. Shocking revelation #4. Well, it appears that dune is being held forum-prisoner by the Modfathers. They've created an evil mind-altering experiment where they only allow him access to one thread entitled "If dune where really clever he'd post here". They know that dune has an ego you could photograph and therefore he can't help himself from posting on the one thread he has access to. But the truly evil bit is that they've constructed a special swear filter for dune that bans every word except "WHORE" and "THATCHER". The thread is filled with 76,349 posts, each filled with line upon line of random length asterisks as dune wrestles the competing voices of the id and the ego and attempts to find the boundaries of his new world. Then, in early summer 2012 he made his last posts. Posts 76348 and 76349 read respectively "THATCHER WHORE" and "WHORE THATCHER". I find it really sad that there was 17 minutes between those last two posts. I can't imagine what emotions he must have gone through in that time. He hasn't posted since. PM me if you want access to the sub-forum but don't tell the Modfathers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 8 November, 2012 Share Posted 8 November, 2012 oh bletchy I shouldn't be at all surprised if lots of that is accurate. I know there definitely is a secret mod forum cos one of the dumb mods let it slip one time. I'd love to know what they is saying in there bout mugging people off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 8 November, 2012 Author Share Posted 8 November, 2012 BLETCH! shhhhhh, Hold back with the revelations for a bit. I am half way through turning another mod. If I can get another 1 or 2, we could be running this place from the inside. It could be like the gangster guy on porridge, running the prison from his cell while the governor (Steve Grant) thinks he runs the place, we are the ones smoking cigars and drinking brandy. Play your cards right and you could end up with a cushty job in the library or the kitchens or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint_clark Posted 8 November, 2012 Share Posted 8 November, 2012 You lot have got way too much time on your hands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 8 November, 2012 Share Posted 8 November, 2012 You is got blood on your hands clarky. BLOOD! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 8 November, 2012 Author Share Posted 8 November, 2012 You lot have got way too much time on your hands. Stop sitting around here chatting when you have work to do. Have you done those tasks yet? Come on, you've seen Sopranos, there is only one way this is going to end. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 8 November, 2012 Share Posted 8 November, 2012 You lot have got way too much time on your hands. Readers should note that Saint_clark made no attempt to deny any of my allegations. The case for the prosecution sits down for a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 12 November, 2012 Author Share Posted 12 November, 2012 Bearsy watch - Day 5 Anyone notice bearsy has been downgraded to 'registered user'? This could mean a number of ground breaking things: 1) Now that 50 shades of grey is finished Bearsy has decided to become a curry thief. 2) Before Dune died he was marked as 'registered user' this usually means your fiver has been withdrawn and you are about to be deleted. 3) His subscription has run out and he hasn't got around to renewing. 4) He wants to be a registered user to join the quickly growing gang of registered users that mug me off then leg it. Whichever it is the tension is at fever pitch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 12 November, 2012 Share Posted 12 November, 2012 This is not the sort of thing I want to see on a Monday morning FFS. I’ve recently lost my job and saintsweb is really what’s keeping me going during these hard times, when I get tired of trawling job sites I can come on here and people like the bear help me relax. To think that I might only get to see 3 posts a day now is pretty sickening and has already lowered my moral even further. 4) He wants to be a registered user to join the quickly growing gang of registered users that mug me off then leg it. As for your point 4 Tokyo, why would someone what to only have 3 posts to mug you off and then run away? That’s not logical, if people are being unfriendly and whatnot, they’d want more posts to mug you off wouldn’t they? They don't need to run as their computer/mobilephone/whatever other fancy way they can acces the interweb, protects them from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 12 November, 2012 Author Share Posted 12 November, 2012 Trust me spuders, it happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 12 November, 2012 Share Posted 12 November, 2012 Mental. If it's any consolation, I'd want to be a full member if I were abusing you, so I could do it to you more than three times a day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 12 November, 2012 Author Share Posted 12 November, 2012 Thanks mate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notnowcato Posted 12 November, 2012 Share Posted 12 November, 2012 (edited) As a sign of respect we should retire the Hair avatar, so at least we can prevent a repeat of the sad copying of Deppo's Arnold Jackson picture. Gawd bless Bearsy and his literary reviews. Edited 12 November, 2012 by notnowcato Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 12 November, 2012 Author Share Posted 12 November, 2012 I'm going to have to get a more noticeable avatar for when I get banned. I want the saddo protest! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notnowcato Posted 12 November, 2012 Share Posted 12 November, 2012 I didn't think you had the choice on your avatar. If you did then it would have to be the Minx. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 12 November, 2012 Share Posted 12 November, 2012 I wish Miltonroader wold hurry up and get his avatar sorted, at this rate we'll hve nothing to remember him by when he gets banned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 12 November, 2012 Author Share Posted 12 November, 2012 I didn't think you had the choice on your avatar. If you did then it would have to be the Minx. I know but I thinking of breaking free of the the tyrrany that is whitey grandad. FREEDOM! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 12 November, 2012 Share Posted 12 November, 2012 Bear is here, reading the January HCDAJFU thread, he's just mute for the time being. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notnowcato Posted 12 November, 2012 Share Posted 12 November, 2012 I know they sh!t in the woods but do all Bears hibernate for winter? Maybe he's out stuffin his cheeks with nuts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 12 November, 2012 Author Share Posted 12 November, 2012 Are you sure windows? He is not showing as online and is not posting... Don't play with my emotions! In other news, the main log in part is saying Cheese on toast in online. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notnowcato Posted 12 November, 2012 Share Posted 12 November, 2012 I know but I thinking of breaking free of the the tyrrany that is whitey grandad. FREEDOM! William Wallace or George Michael? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 12 November, 2012 Share Posted 12 November, 2012 Are you sure windows? He is not showing as online and is not posting... Don't play with my emotions! In other news, the main log in part is saying Cheese on toast in online. Bearsy logged off at 14.29 today but I think the forum clock is a bit off so that could be about half three Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 12 November, 2012 Author Share Posted 12 November, 2012 Good stalking windows, we are closing the net on him. Always Wallace cato, especially when dealing with a dangerous animal like a bear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 12 November, 2012 Share Posted 12 November, 2012 He's been logged on under his MiltonRoader07 username as well today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 12 November, 2012 Share Posted 12 November, 2012 Oh my days I'm having a terrible time! I logged on this morning eager to share my thoughts bout Rosie Webster's big boobs and computer is like Nu-uh you've posted 3 times already! And I'm like no I ain't even posted today and since when you been counting? Then I'm seeing my lovely face is missing and the dumb mods have made me a Registered Offender! Why is they doing this? Do you think I owe them money? Is there somewhere it says when you owe them money? How do you even pay them money if you want to pay them money, is there a buy mods curry button? Or do you think I'm ban? I tried to think bout what I done yesterday, I did post a picture of Miltonroader's knob, do you think it's that? You could hardly see it tho cos Milton has very small knob. Also I called Turkish a helmet on main board, but I don't think it's that if they was putting everyone who called Turkish a helmet on the Registered Offenders list there'd hardly be anyone left! Plus I was only jokes, I don't really think Turkish is helmet! Don't ask me any questions tho I dunno when I'm next gonna be able to answer. Also till further notice don't mug me off cos i won't be able to zing you back with any of my classic put downs! You can write me direct if need be: Bearsy c/o Saintsweb Prison for Registered Offenders Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 12 November, 2012 Share Posted 12 November, 2012 (edited) It's not just fivers tho, a lot of the income is from within St. Mary's. I can't say too much but they get a large premium to allow a certain person unrestricted access to read everyone's pm's. I can't name names, but maybe you can crack this anagram code "Cicola Nortese" That anagram's a bit of a baffler if you don't mind me saying, Bearsy. Can you provide any more clues? Edited 12 November, 2012 by pap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 12 November, 2012 Author Share Posted 12 November, 2012 Lols number 2 is is then, I knew it! This is what happens if you mock my turn mods into informers project. I might have accidentally set a mod on you bear, sorry about that! Could be worse, MLG has disappeared since I set Clarke on him. I don't know my own powers sometimes bear. Soon I'll be driving around in charlet's mini with the windows down and S-club 7 pumping out. You see in SWF, first you get the mods, then you get the powers, then you get the women ('s car). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 14 November, 2012 Share Posted 14 November, 2012 I'm back b!tches! Look at my face! Look at my lovely face! I'm gonna spam up every muppet show thread to celebrate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 14 November, 2012 Share Posted 14 November, 2012 I'm back b!tches! Look at my face! Look at my lovely face! I'm gonna spam up every muppet show thread to celebrate! Who are you? where have you been? Do we know you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 14 November, 2012 Author Share Posted 14 November, 2012 When's bear back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 14 November, 2012 Share Posted 14 November, 2012 Guys! Don't be that way guys! I can't say that my time in Saintsweb Prison for Registered Offenders didn't change me, some scars never heal, but I'm sure given time I can be something like my old self! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notnowcato Posted 14 November, 2012 Share Posted 14 November, 2012 (edited) Edited 14 November, 2012 by notnowcato Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 14 November, 2012 Share Posted 14 November, 2012 I'm away for days, and all you have to say is ellipsis? That hurts dude. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 14 November, 2012 Author Share Posted 14 November, 2012 Seriously, has anyone seen Bearsy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 14 November, 2012 Share Posted 14 November, 2012 Guys! I'm here! Guys! The dumb mods put me on auto-ignore! In other news I've accidentally taken out two subscriptions cos I'm dumbass, paypal is paying fiver today and they say they also want to pay fiver next week. I ain't bothered, the additional fiver is sweetner for the mods so I can have a custome rank! Here is the ones on my shortlist: Bearsy Reads Books So You Don't Have To Bearsy Bumhole Investigator Bearsy Serial Pluralator I'm open to other suggestions tho! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcjwills Posted 14 November, 2012 Share Posted 14 November, 2012 Any truth to the rumour that Bearsy is banned? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 14 November, 2012 Share Posted 14 November, 2012 Apparently he's on some naughty boy trial and only the mods can see his posts at the moment, shame Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 14 November, 2012 Author Share Posted 14 November, 2012 Oh well, it's been ages. I guess I have to move on now and settle down with Turkish in his caravan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 14 November, 2012 Share Posted 14 November, 2012 I should imagine after your recent flirting, Bears won't be in much of a hurry to come back anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcjwills Posted 14 November, 2012 Share Posted 14 November, 2012 Apparently he's on some naughty boy trial and only the mods can see his posts at the moment, shame Thats why we can not see his posts ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 14 November, 2012 Share Posted 14 November, 2012 Yes that's right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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