Which countries do rate having the hottest and ugliest birds

[Convict Colony]

Having been an international playboy for most of my life I have come to understand which countries are f*cktards and which ones are awesome.

 

Generally the awesome countries correlate which having a high fit chick density so I thought I would post my ones and see if you boys have any additions.

 

 

My top 3 and bottom 3 places.

 

Top

 

1. Venezuela: They have the most miss worlds out of any country and plastic surgery is one of the cheapest in the world, fathers buy their daughters tits for their birthdays . I was hanging out in El Yache on Margarita and literally is is taken as a given that if you are 50 and have some money you can smash any fit chick you want as every weekend they would fly in from caracas with this supermodel with huge tits and g string bikinis = Awesome. ( I had to make do with the local fit chicks)

 

2. Brazil: Pretty obvious Buzios and Ipanema are awesome and whilst its and easy choice the amazing thing about here even the ugly birds are fit. "how can this be" I hear you cry, its cos they have the most amazing bodies you never get to their face, I am defo thinking about heading to Brazil for world cup but don't take your missus unless she is equally as hot cos after 1 day at the beach she will feel all insecure and not let you go there, so go lone wolf.

 

3. Sweden: again another easy one but the beauty of the swedes is that they are boring as **** and hardly talk but have the bodies of angels. So you get to bang a super chick but not have to listen to her moan on about **** you don't care about.

 

Bottom:

 

1. England: The effort that has to be made just to **** a munter when you know if you were in south america you would be smashing a honey for the same level of effort.

 

2. UAE: Anyone double bagging themselves in 50C must be really ugly.

 

3. Asia: They are all so small no matter how hot they are and how old they maybe I would still feel like a more refined version of gary glitter.

 

I am expecting Tokyo to counterbalance my asian slate given he is the eastern p*rn king and has a warehouse full of soiled underpants stolen from a girls school.

Edited 7 November, 2012 by Convict Colony

[Lighthouse]

Hungary, Ukraine and the Baltic states have some pretty impressive tallents.

 

At the other end of the scale you have UK, Germany and Belgium.

[Convict Colony]

I have to say my scouts concur with your ukraine comment, apparently Odessa is a decent spot and you would have the added bonus of feeling like you are in a James Bond movie.

 

Back in the day Sunny Beach or Varna in Bulgaria (black sea coast) was awesome as there was only serbian, croatian and swedish birds there as it wasn't even on the radar for english visitors it was truly the last wild west country in europe.

 

Where did it go wrong ?

[Tokyo-Saint]

I'm down with Japanese birds (obviously), Argentina probably had the fittest of anywhere I have been, Sweden has a good rep and I like their promotional material and Mediterranean women can be ok, if a little hairy.

 

I thought Brazilian birds were the most over rated in the world, not my type at all. there seemed to be a lot of big birds with longish faces, also too loud for me, always moaning about something. Not into Chinese or Koreans really, Eastern European birds are usually nice to look at but as miserable as Alpine after a home defeat. Ozzie birds usually have good personalities but are not that fit in general. Polynesian birds prop up the table, especially Fijians who can look like a David Walliams doing an impression of Don King.

 

Every country tends to have a bit of a mix though and above are just my generalisations.

[Bearsy]

Hi this thread needs photos.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Hi this thread needs photos.

 

[bridge too far]

Spanish, Greek and Italian men float my boat. Love a Mediterranean, me

[Convict Colony]

Ninja convention at 2 o'clock, no wonder all the arab dudes hire these fit western birds to be their porta pottys.

 

Ninja:

 

 

Porta Potty's:

 

 

And if you are wondering today was the day I got round to paying the 5quid cos I have been too lazy before so I am talking absolute **** on many threads, apologies.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Convict sort out your photos!

[Bearsy]

I was thinking more along the lines of

 

Argentinas:

 

Southamptons:

[Convict Colony]

Sorry being a newbie with new power I fecked it up

 

Porta Pottys

 

Ninja's

[Convict Colony]

This is what I was loving inn Venezuela ut obviously minus the midget

 

[Tokyo-Saint]

[Tokyo-Saint]

[Convict Colony]

I am a keen fan of greek women's football when they look like this

 

But I am not loving this look.

 

[Tokyo-Saint]

[Convict Colony]

Tokyo why are you posting Brock Lesnar on here, this was a thread of *****rs or foxes haha

 

Having said that I wouldn't mind getting these 2 in the ring

 

Edited 7 November, 2012 by Convict Colony

[Tokyo-Saint]

 

[Tokyo-Saint]

Convict - one more photo mistake and you are going to have to do a main board forfeit!

[Convict Colony]

I will only if I can say what a fantastic job the team is doing a guly is the standout player for us this season.

 

This is dangerous game cos I am too lazy to read the rules so I could be getting in trouble sharpish.

 

[Lighthouse]

 

Which country is this handsome young lady representing?

[Convict Colony]

look at the size of these, they'd keep your ears warm at night

 

 

I just realised that they are a photo shop so its ruined the dream for me, I would love to see her try a handstand if they were that big.

Edited 7 November, 2012 by Convict Colony

[Convict Colony]

hahahaha I typed in Massive Tits and this came up hahahah

 

[Tokyo-Saint]

Which country is this handsome young lady representing?

 

not sure but there is a prize for the first person to give me her address.

[Convict Colony]

 

You just know Hanna wants to be spanked by a father figure, massive norks but reckon she could be a mentalist

[Tokyo-Saint]

Of course she is a mentalist convict, have you not been following my lessons?

 

Look at her animal impressions if in doubt.

[shurlock]

You just know Hanna wants to be spanked by a father figure, massive norks but reckon she could be a mentalist

 

Defo mentalist - never trust western girls who are obsessed with Japan. Not good'uns.

[Convict Colony]

look I have found a female Bear for Bearsy to get it on with while she walks the dog.

 

for this plan to go ahead I think you will have to agree that Tokyo gets to video it and put on the main board and call it "How we can get round the back".

 

2 human bears banging might even give alpine a smile.

 

 

[Convict Colony]

Hang about I think I found one showing Tokyo, I thought the judge told you that you had to be at least 100m away ??

 

[Marsdinho]

To the OP. Asia is not a country. HTH

[Tokyo-Saint]

To the OP. Asia is not a country. HTH

 

Do one curry thief!

 

Hang on, you are mugging off convict who has just called me a peodo. Sorry, I take it back - insult away!

[SuperMikey]

Do one curry thief!

 

Hang on, you are mugging off convict who has just called me a peodo. Sorry, I take it back - insult away!

 

 

Tbf to Convict, the girl in the picture you liked looks about 15!

[Tokyo-Saint]

Tbf to Convict, the girl in the picture you liked looks about 15!

 

This one?

 

 

You are going to have to adjust your standards mikey or you are going to remain a virgin for a while longer.

[Orange]

I was in Stockholm in August and the quality was very high.

Although they don't have the tan beauties in the Mediterranean, South of France/Spain etc have.

 

As for worst- Asia. Just don't find any of them in th slightest bit attractive..

[This Charming Man]

Croatia had the best women I've ever seen and I've done some fair amount of travelling in that part of the world. NZ was probably the worst, some of the Maori birds are right bruisers. They all look like male rugby players.

[This Charming Man]

I was in Stockholm in August and the quality was very high.

Although they don't have the tan beauties in the Mediterranean, South of France/Spain etc have.

 

As for worst- Asia. Just don't find any of them in th slightest bit attractive..

 

I'm off there next week. Seeing as it's about -5c there, I'm not expecting to see much flesh. Shame.

[Orange]

I'm off there next week. Seeing as it's about -5c there, I'm not expecting to see much flesh. Shame.

 

I think they'd take some working on though, compared to places like eastern Europe..

 

I didn't find the nightlife too good, but suppose i wasn't their fi/saturday evenings.

[Convict Colony]

To the OP. Asia is not a country. HTH

 

Good spot but reasoning is applicable to all asian countries unless some tall smoking hot birds have appeared on the scene and I don't mean 6ft big handed ladies either.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Never been into big birds, don't get the attraction.

 

[Convict Colony]

Am glad you posted that picture Tokyo as I thought you weren't in this sort of big birds !!!

http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Guardian/About/General/2012/10/4/1349350497496/Big-Bird-and-friend-on-Se-010.jpg

Edited 8 November, 2012 by Convict Colony

[Lighthouse]

Am glad you posted that picture Tokyo as I thought you weren't in this sort of big birds !!!

 

 

I probably would TBF. Got a thing for tall blonde birds.

[shurlock]

Am glad you posted that picture Tokyo as I thought you weren't in this sort of big birds !!!

 

Tall yellow birds? Perhaps he is

[Convict Colony]

Oh my god, its all just clicked for me.

 

Toyko says he like's big bird, then we see Bird Bird with a fat hairy mammoth which leads me to deduce Toyko is actually Mr. Snuffleupagus......................................

[Tokyo-Saint]

Oh my god, its all just clicked for me.

 

Toyko says he like's big bird, then we see Bird Bird with a fat hairy mammoth which leads me to deduce Toyko is actually Mr. Snuffleupagus......................................

 

When did this happen?

[skintsaint]

 

2. Brazil: Pretty obvious Buzios and Ipanema are awesome and whilst its and easy choice the amazing thing about here even the ugly birds are fit. "how can this be" I hear you cry, its cos they have the most amazing bodies you never get to their face, I am defo thinking about heading to Brazil for world cup but don't take your missus unless she is equally as hot cos after 1 day at the beach she will feel all insecure and not let you go there, so go lone wolf.

 

After visiting the place Brazilian birds generally are ******* rough...

 

Argies are much better generally...

 

Aussie birds are nice too but their ****ing accent gets on your tits.

[Tokyo-Saint]

After visiting the place Brazilian birds generally are ******* rough...

 

Argies are much better generally...

 

Aussie birds are nice too but their ****ing accent gets on your tits.

 

Exactly what I said!

[Convict Colony]

Sorry Toyko's I was being foolish and didnt read what you wrote about big birds, I just assumed you liked em

[Tokyo-Saint]

Hi Skintsaint, I've always liked you, even when you were mugging me off for whatever.

 

How would you like to be our informer? Don't worry, it won't be like the sopranos or nothing. It is highly unlikely you will get shot in the back of the head and left by a skip in Turkish's rusting old BMW. All you have to do is tip us off when there will be raids and let's us know what's happening with the bannings and stuff. In exchange we will self mod in the muppet show and try and cut down on posting Tits and exposing curry gate. We will keep a closer eye on people like Milton roader and cheese on toast as well. This will free you up to play more football manager network games with MLG.

 

What do you say? Are you in?

[Convict Colony]

hey I think you gents who are down on brazil either got blown out loads or didnt go where I went.

 

I saw amazingly fit birds everywhere but I am pretty convinced the 8 pints a day I consumed had nothing to do with it.

 

I can't be kobbing an argie out of national loyalty.

[Convict Colony]

Random one for you guys incase you have never been but when i went and lived in australia I didn't think my englishness would be a wow factor for me.

 

How wrong I was.

 

If you can talk like hugh grant when he is getting sucked off you have it made in Aus as your only competition are a bunch of thick, short sighted retards who wear vests to go out in.

 

Aussie chicks love themselves some englishmen