Boris Johnson

[RonManager]

inbetweeners is hilarious you weirdos! People who quote inbetweeners i grant u can be v.annoying. Will prob votes with KRG and Simon prob votes for Carly and Jay prob votes with pap and neil prob spoiled ballot paper

 

[Bearsy]

[pap]

inbetweeners is hilarious you weirdos! People who quote inbetweeners i grant u can be v.annoying. Will prob votes with KRG and Simon prob votes for Carly and Jay prob votes with pap and neil prob spoiled ballot paper

 

This is my stance, Bear. Funny in the show. Crapola when practiced by drunken muppets.

[trousers]

[trousers]

Rob Parker ‏@Robparker08

#askboris if you could sing anything at a karaoke what would it be?

 

Boris Johnson ‏@MayorofLondon

anything by Jeffrey Osborne esp On the wings of luuuuurve #askboris

[scotty]

 

http://www.sickipedia.org/forum/index.php?topic=106023.0

Edited 20 June, 2013 by scotty

[TopGun]

A friend of mine went on holiday to Mozambique a couple of weeks ago. He went on a snorkelling trip and somehow got marooned on a reef as the boat left him behind when it departed. He started getting a bit worried until eventually he saw another boat and waved frantically to get its attention. He was hauled into the boat by none other than Boris Johnson who was also holidaying there!

[trousers]

[saintfully]

 

Get a room FFS

[bridge too far]

I like Russell Brand's take on him:

 

Boris Johnson is the most dangerous politician in Britain, precisely because of his charm. The members of the Conservative party that are rallying to install him as leader are those to the right of David Cameron. If you thought the fringe on his head was lunatic, you should see the lunatic fringe that want him as leader. Those for whom Cameron is not Tory enough. "Offshore Dave", leader of a coalition for whom 14 of its 20 most prominent donors have links to companies with offshore holdings. The politicians who want to move the party and our country further to the right want Boris. And well they might: he is the consummate televisual politician. Funny and likable, even when he errs it's cute, like a shaved Winnie the Pooh accidentally eating all the honey.

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2013/jun/28/russell-brand-morning-joe-question-time

[trousers]

Are you on a sponsored 'quote Russell Brand as many times as you can in one year' challenge?

 

Have 10p a quote from me

[bridge too far]

Are you on a sponsored 'quote Russell Brand as many times as you can in one year' challenge?

 

Have 10p a quote from me

 

No I'm not, chick. I can't stand the bloke - or at least I couldn't but having read some of his more erudite thoughts, I'm beginning to see him in a new light. His writings are superb whether or not you agree with the sentiments.

[trousers]

No I'm not, chick. I can't stand the bloke - or at least I couldn't but having read some of his more erudite thoughts, I'm beginning to see him in a new light. His writings are superb whether or not you agree with the sentiments.

 

I probably like Russell Brand for the same reason I like Boris.

[Viking Warrior]

Russell brand is a total ****t and not even funny either

[Sergei Gotsmanov]

I like Russell Brand's take on him:

 

Boris Johnson is the most dangerous politician in Britain, precisely because of his charm. The members of the Conservative party that are rallying to install him as leader are those to the right of David Cameron. If you thought the fringe on his head was lunatic, you should see the lunatic fringe that want him as leader. Those for whom Cameron is not Tory enough. "Offshore Dave", leader of a coalition for whom 14 of its 20 most prominent donors have links to companies with offshore holdings. The politicians who want to move the party and our country further to the right want Boris. And well they might: he is the consummate televisual politician. Funny and likable, even when he errs it's cute, like a shaved Winnie the Pooh accidentally eating all the honey.

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/culture/2013/jun/28/russell-brand-morning-joe-question-time

 

Says the multi millionaire man who rang up a 78 year old man live on air and left several messages telling him that he ****ged his grand daughter.

[pap]

Russell Brand is a very decent writer; his piece after Thatcher's death was excellent. His opinions on Boris' happen to segue with a lot of mine. I've heard numerous reports that Johnson is an aggressive d!ck, seen a couple of them too. That's enough for me, ta. Johnson employs a likable flawed character to mask a less likable one.

 

I'd genuinely sooner have Brand as PM. At least his flaws are front and centre, his genuine problems out in the open and there's a fair chance you'll hear him telling the truth.

[Batman]

Russell Brand is a very decent writer; his piece after Thatcher's death was excellent. His opinions on Boris' happen to segue with a lot of mine. I've heard numerous reports that Johnson is an aggressive d!ck, seen a couple of them too. That's enough for me, ta. Johnson employs a likable flawed character to mask a less likable one.

 

I'd genuinely sooner have Brand as PM. At least his flaws are front and centre, his genuine problems out in the open and there's a fair chance you'll hear him telling the truth.

 

At least his flaws aren't front and centre?

 

Brand is the biggest act going

[saintfully]

Perhaps the fact that intelligent posters are arguing who'd make the better PM, Boris or Brand, helps explain why the politics and leadership of this country is sometimes such an embarrassment.

[buctootim]

Perhaps the fact that intelligent posters are arguing who'd make the better PM, Boris or Brand, helps explain why the politics and leadership of this country is sometimes such an embarrassment.

 

I like Boris whilst Brand makes my skin crawl. Whilst policies play in part in choosing politicians, ability to relate to them and faith they aren't out to grab for their faction counts for more.

[pap]

I like Boris whilst Brand makes my skin crawl. Whilst policies play in part in choosing politicians, ability to relate to them and faith they aren't out to grab for their faction counts for more.

 

I think that might be a generational thing. I'm aware of Brand's proclivities, but that doesn't necessarily invalidate everything he has to say. Johnson is a wolf in buffoon's clothing. If the man is "in character" for most of his life, you really have to ask why. I think Boris' true colours might be closer to the bloke who accosted Livingstone in the lift with a raging f*ckstorm. I don't necessarily agree with every life choice Brand might have made, but whatever else the bloke is, he has a refreshingly honest perspective on himself and others.

 

It's immaterial anyway; no-one but me has suggested Brand for PM. My overall point is I think he'd cause less damage than Boris in office, who has the ring of bumbling humourous dictator-to-be. The bloke doesn't really stand for anything. He's just about ten times more interesting than any of the other politicians doing the rounds. Not necessarily the best qualification for government, especially when a teeny bit of scrutiny reveals that, if nothing else, he's a very poor judge of character. He's had a few people washed out of his administration due to scandal. The fact that he didn't have people he could trust 100% tells its own story. He took the reins of office taking a punt on his own administration.

 

That all said, Boris has a genuine shout. Most people don't see past the buffoon, don't see enough of him to know that he isn't straight-talking, and isn't as harmless as the character he carefully cultivates.

[Lord Duckhunter]

Anyone who saw that half wit Brand on question time must realise he's a clueless one trick pony. I thought they'd scrapped the bottom of the barrel with John lydon ( or whatever his stupid made up name is ) Id rather listen to the political thoughts of Eric Joyce at chucking out time, than take political lectures from that ****ing unfunny lanky streak of ****

[pap]

Bwa ha ha!

 

Boris calls people thick, then Boris is unable to answer IQ questions.

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/boris-johnson-fails-to-give-any-correct-answers-when-ambushed-with-iq-test-live-on-air-8980365.html

[KelvinsRightGlove]

Bwa ha ha!

 

Boris calls people thick, then Boris is unable to answer IQ questions.

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/boris-johnson-fails-to-give-any-correct-answers-when-ambushed-with-iq-test-live-on-air-8980365.html

 

 

 

Oh Boris.

[Whitey Grandad]

Bwa ha ha!

 

Boris calls people thick, then Boris is unable to answer IQ questions.

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/boris-johnson-fails-to-give-any-correct-answers-when-ambushed-with-iq-test-live-on-air-8980365.html

 

All stuff and nonsense. There are no square houses at the North Pole, anybody with any intelligence would know that, and the apple question is a load of ********. It all depends on the use of the verb 'take'. Is it 'take away', 'take home', 'take out of the bowl'? again, anyone with any intelligence would have considered a myriad of alternatives and concluded that the answer could be anything you liked.

[KelvinsRightGlove]

All stuff and nonsense. There are no square houses at the North Pole, anybody with any intelligence would know that, and the apple question is a load of ********. It all depends on the use of the verb 'take'. Is it 'take away', 'take home', 'take out of the bowl'? again, anyone with any intelligence would have considered a myriad of alternatives and concluded that the answer could be anything you liked.

 

Hey! I got 9/10, does this not mean I'm smarter than Boris

 

As a Londoner I thought that meant I could run against him in a few years time, seeing as I clearly have the upper hand in the intelligence stakes.

[pap]

All stuff and nonsense. There are no square houses at the North Pole, anybody with any intelligence would know that, and the apple question is a load of ********. It all depends on the use of the verb 'take'. Is it 'take away', 'take home', 'take out of the bowl'? again, anyone with any intelligence would have considered a myriad of alternatives and concluded that the answer could be anything you liked.

 

Admit it. Your bumbling blonde bombshell has done himself up. Again.

[KelvinsRightGlove]

Admit it. Your bumbling blonde bombshell has done himself up. Again.

 

You'll vote for me right pap?

 

It'll be a change, but not too much of a change. Swap one bumbling blonde bombshell for another.

[pap]

You'll vote for me right pap?

 

It'll be a change, but not too much of a change. Swap one bumbling blonde bombshell for another.

 

Give me a grand and I will not only vote for you, but will also return your £500 deposit when you immediately retire from the political stage, disgraced after polling just 3 votes (you, me and your mum).

[Bearsy]

All stuff and nonsense. There are no square houses at the North Pole, anybody with any intelligence would know that, and the apple question is a load of ********. It all depends on the use of the verb 'take'. Is it 'take away', 'take home', 'take out of the bowl'? again, anyone with any intelligence would have considered a myriad of alternatives and concluded that the answer could be anything you liked.

 

They did seem a bit trick question. All three of them I would of been asking for more information. Like the one bout the alarm clock, bearing in mind it was being read out to him and Boris weren't seeing it wrote down, I dunno if I'd be clear if he was setting the alarm clock the same night he went to sleep, or doing it the next morning after he woke. In either case I don't know how long it took him to nod off after setting his clock. Sometimes it takes me hours!

[pap]

They did seem a bit trick question. All three of them I would of been asking for more information. Like the one bout the alarm clock, bearing in mind it was being read out to him and Boris weren't seeing it wrote down, I dunno if I'd be clear if he was setting the alarm clock the same night he went to sleep, or doing it the next morning after he woke. In either case I don't know how long it took him to nod off after setting his clock. Sometimes it takes me hours!

 

Stop sticking up for Boris, Bear. He's had the best education the country can offer. Are you telling me that our finest educational institutions don't deal with trick questions, or teach their students how to deal with them?

 

e.g.

 

"We present the class of '85, future rulers of the world unless presented with a dastardly trick question"

[KelvinsRightGlove]

Give me a grand and I will not only vote for you, but will also return your £500 deposit when you immediately retire from the political stage, disgraced after polling just 3 votes (you, me and your mum).

 

Oh come on guy, I'll do better than that.

 

Have faith Papster. This blonde bombshell is the one to change London for the better!

 

(Not so) Interesting fact, I was once asked by a political party to put myself forward as a party candidate for Leeds City Council - I declined

[Bearsy]

Stop sticking up for Boris, Bear. He's had the best education the country can offer. Are you telling me that our finest educational institutions don't deal with trick questions, or teach their students how to deal with them?

 

e.g.

 

"We present the class of '85, future rulers of the world unless presented with a dastardly trick question"

 

I dunno pap but I'm with whitey that none of them questions has definitive answer. They're all a bit "what am i thinking?". I see no reason why the bear must be white for example, even if the guy is at north pole. It could just as easily be a burly gay man.

[Whitey Grandad]

They did seem a bit trick question. All three of them I would of been asking for more information. Like the one bout the alarm clock, bearing in mind it was being read out to him and Boris weren't seeing it wrote down, I dunno if I'd be clear if he was setting the alarm clock the same night he went to sleep, or doing it the next morning after he woke. In either case I don't know how long it took him to nod off after setting his clock. Sometimes it takes me hours!

 

Exactly, my ursine friend. The questioner said Finally, the mayor was asked: “I went to bed at 8 in the evening last night and I wound up my clock and set my alarm to sound for 9 o'clock in the morning. How many hours sleep did I get?” There is no way on knowing whether he stayed awake all night watching cricket anyway, but the did say "set my alarm to sound for 9 o'clock in the morning". If that is true then it would not go off at 9 in the evening and even if it did anybody with or without any sense would reset the alarm and go back to sleep. This is a feeble attempt at trying to be clever and it fails.

[bridge too far]

Exactly, my ursine friend. The questioner said Finally, the mayor was asked: “I went to bed at 8 in the evening last night and I wound up my clock and set my alarm to sound for 9 o'clock in the morning. How many hours sleep did I get?” There is no way on knowing whether he stayed awake all night watching cricket anyway, but the did say "set my alarm to sound for 9 o'clock in the morning". If that is true then it would not go off at 9 in the evening and even if it did anybody with or without any sense would reset the alarm and go back to sleep. This is a feeble attempt at trying to be clever and it fails.

 

The clue is in the bit of the question "wound up my clock"?

[Big Bad Bob]

Exactly, my ursine friend. The questioner said Finally, the mayor was asked: “I went to bed at 8 in the evening last night and I wound up my clock and set my alarm to sound for 9 o'clock in the morning. How many hours sleep did I get?” There is no way on knowing whether he stayed awake all night watching cricket anyway, but the did say "set my alarm to sound for 9 o'clock in the morning". If that is true then it would not go off at 9 in the evening and even if it did anybody with or without any sense would reset the alarm and go back to sleep. This is a feeble attempt at trying to be clever and it fails.

 

The clue is in the bit of the question "wound up my clock"?

 

But what did he set his alarm on, it doesn't explicitly say on his clock, in fact he wound up his clock NOT his alarm clock which would lead me to postulate that he used his smart phone to set the alarm!!

[Whitey Grandad]

The clue is in the bit of the question "wound up my clock"?

 

So? Why does this assume a 12-hour clock? If he says that he set it for 9 in the morning then you are entitled to assume that it cannot be a 12-hour one.

[Bearsy]

The clue is in the bit of the question "wound up my clock"?

 

yeah i think we all ascertained that much bridge. My main objection is if when I "set my alarm to sound for 9 o'clock in the morning" am I setting it for 9am (which i can't really do on a wind up clock anyway) or am I setting it for 9 o'clock but doing it in the morning. You know, like physically doing it the next day.

[Bearsy]

Unless of course he wound his clock up by criticising it's dumb haircut or whatever. I hadn't really thought of it like that.

[Whitey Grandad]

But what did he set his alarm on, it doesn't explicitly say on his clock, in fact he wound up his clock NOT his alarm clock which would lead me to postulate that he used his smart phone to set the alarm!!

 

Good point. Anyone with a bit of intelligence can see through the question. Anyway, why should the times of going to bed and setting the alarm have any bearing on how much sleep you get?

[Whitey Grandad]

Unless of course he wound his clock up by criticising it's dumb haircut or whatever. I hadn't really thought of it like that.

 

Now you're just being obtuse. Anyone knows that clocks don't have hair Maybe he didn't like the way it was looking at him?

 

[saintbletch]

Exactly, my ursine friend. The questioner said Finally, the mayor was asked: “I went to bed at 8 in the evening last night and I wound up my clock and set my alarm to sound for 9 o'clock in the morning. How many hours sleep did I get?” There is no way on knowing whether he stayed awake all night watching cricket anyway, but the did say "set my alarm to sound for 9 o'clock in the morning". If that is true then it would not go off at 9 in the evening and even if it did anybody with or without any sense would reset the alarm and go back to sleep. This is a feeble attempt at trying to be clever and it fails.

 

In my experience White Grandad, any post that starts with "Exactly, my ursine friend..." is never going to gain you too much credit.

 

The context of the questions was that they were IQ questions, therefore, the answer examines intelligence.

 

You should be looking for the "trick", and on that basis it's easy to think through the right answers. Boris didn't.

 

I smugly got 10 out of 10 in the IQ quiz, but I did spend 5 minutes looking at the ark question.

[pap]

Oh come on guy, I'll do better than that.

 

Have faith Papster. This blonde bombshell is the one to change London for the better!

 

(Not so) Interesting fact, I was once asked by a political party to put myself forward as a party candidate for Leeds City Council - I declined

 

Tell you what, KRG. I'll get Juvenile Unit #1 to vote for you as well.

 

Now where's my grand?

[pap]

I dunno pap but I'm with whitey that none of them questions has definitive answer. They're all a bit "what am i thinking?". I see no reason why the bear must be white for example, even if the guy is at north pole. It could just as easily be a burly gay man.

 

Maybe you and Whitey G are the sort of people Boris was talking about when he spoke of those with low IQs.

 

You're on the scrapheap, motherf*ckers. Boris said so.

[Bearsy]

The context of the questions was that they were IQ questions,

 

They're not really though, are they bletch? I mean they're not pure IQ, these questions assume a certain amount of general knowledge. For example, let's say the most high IQ person on the planet is a 10 year old boy. One of them pretty boys with the floppy fringe you get nowadays. He's wearing pyjamas, but they're ever so slightly too small and the top has rode up slightly and Anyway... He's probably never even seen a wind-up alarm clock, or be familiar with the fact that they commonly (but not exclusively) lack facility to differentiate between am + pm.

[pap]

Exactly, my ursine friend. The questioner said Finally, the mayor was asked: “I went to bed at 8 in the evening last night and I wound up my clock and set my alarm to sound for 9 o'clock in the morning. How many hours sleep did I get?” There is no way on knowing whether he stayed awake all night watching cricket anyway, but the did say "set my alarm to sound for 9 o'clock in the morning". If that is true then it would not go off at 9 in the evening and even if it did anybody with or without any sense would reset the alarm and go back to sleep. This is a feeble attempt at trying to be clever and it fails.

 

Oxbridge education. Unable to spot a bit of trickery.

 

It's probably a good job Boris' parents paid for a private education. Had he been educated in the state system, he wouldn't have had the intelligence to answer the questions as stupidly as he did. I can't say exactly how it would have gone down, but part of me has a mental image of BoJo mushing a handful of his own faeces into his hair.

[Whitey Grandad]

Oxbridge education. Unable to spot a bit of trickery.

 

It's probably a good job Boris' parents paid for a private education. Had he been educated in the state system, he wouldn't have had the intelligence to answer the questions as stupidly as he did. I can't say exactly how it would have gone down, but part of me has a mental image of BoJo mushing a handful of his own faeces into his hair.

 

Au contraire, such feeble attempts at trickery are doomed to fail when confronted by anyone with a spark of nous or an element of imagination. Indeed, it is those with low IQ who will 'spot' the traps and proceed to fall into them.

[Whitey Grandad]

They're not really though, are they bletch? I mean they're not pure IQ, these questions assume a certain amount of general knowledge. For example, let's say the most high IQ person on the planet is a 10 year old boy. One of them pretty boys with the floppy fringe you get nowadays. He's wearing pyjamas, but they're ever so slightly too small and the top has rode up slightly and Anyway... He's probably never even seen a wind-up alarm clock, or be familiar with the fact that they commonly (but not exclusively) lack facility to differentiate between am + pm.

 

Quite so. Such tests are deeply racist and militate against those members of the ethnic minorities in the warmer parts of the world who don't live in houses and have no need of alarm clocks.

[Whitey Grandad]

In my experience White Grandad, any post that starts with "Exactly, my ursine friend..." is never going to gain you too much credit.

 

The context of the questions was that they were IQ questions, therefore, the answer examines intelligence.

 

You should be looking for the "trick", and on that basis it's easy to think through the right answers. Boris didn't.

 

I smugly got 10 out of 10 in the IQ quiz, but I did spend 5 minutes looking at the ark question.

 

Just because somebody says that it's an IQ test doesn't mean that you have to believe them. Trust me, never take anything at face value

[saintbletch]

They're not really though, are they bletch? I mean they're not pure IQ, these questions assume a certain amount of general knowledge. For example, let's say the most high IQ person on the planet is a 10 year old boy. One of them pretty boys with the floppy fringe you get nowadays. He's wearing pyjamas, but they're ever so slightly too small and the top has rode up slightly and Anyway... He's probably never even seen a wind-up alarm clock, or be familiar with the fact that they commonly (but not exclusively) lack facility to differentiate between am + pm.

 

I stopped reading here.

 

...let's say the most high(sic) IQ person on the planet is a 10 year old boy

 

I read enough perverted views in The Muppet Show without being subjected to them in The Lounge.

[Bearsy]

I read enough perverted views in The Muppet Show without being subjected to them in The Lounge.

 

.