Bearsy Investigates: 50 Shades Of Grey

[Deano6]

After this can you investigates War & Peace? I'd love to know how that ends

[Tokyo-Saint]

This is a bit of a longshot bear but are there any pictures or illustrations or was it just the one of the guys tie?

 

I know this is setting bletchy up to make a joke about picture books but sometimes at like the start of the chapter there is a small drawing or whatever. Maybe if you flick though, you might see a chapter with her getting boned or something.

[Bearsy]

Nah there's nothing like that bro! They ain't even got them helpful chapter headings you sometimes see to give you a clue bout what's happening. Like if i found it was saying Chapter 16: I Won't Sh!t Right For A Week I'd be tempted to skip on ahead but there ain't nothing useful like that. It's almost as if EL James wants me to read the whole entire book!

[Tokyo-Saint]

Selfish b!itch!

 

I'm investigating this might be an autobiography bear. You with me?

[Bearsy]

Maybe! At the beginning before it started she done one of them dedications, i can't remember exactly but it was like "To Jose Fonte of Bell End, Southampton without you this book could never have been" and I was lol.... everyone is now thinking that this Jose Fonte character is pervert!

[buctootim]

doh

[buctootim]

After this can you investigates War & Peace? I'd love to know how that ends

 

Theres a war, but in the end theres some peace. I skipped the middle part.

[saintbletch]

Sorry that I haven't contributed earlier despite my name being taken in vain a number of times. I had tried to open this web page but it turns out it had been stuck to the previous page with middle-aged man-gloy.

 

Now I've finally managed to ditch the DNA and open it, I find all this fawning over the bear's literary review of the 50 shade of greys very disturbing.

 

Firstly, this sort of highbrow review belongs in the Arts forum not The Muppet Show. And this from the Muppet Show Moderator too.

 

Secondly, there are too many visitors to The Muppet Show now. It was better in the summer when it was just Bearsy and Tokyo playing with each other while a small number of us watched on. Well done bear. I hope you're proud of yourself.

 

Thirdly, The Muppet Show is an equal opportunity sub-forum. I'm detecting a smidgen of male-bias in your review Bearsy. Sainstweb has a female community too, and despite the fact that I might only need 3 fingers to account for them, we need positive-discrimination here. Your reviews Bearsy, have to contain as much lechery over Christian Grey as they do the female characters. This is Muppet Show law.

 

Fourthly, and most importantly, as I mentioned on another thread, Mrs saintbletch has read 50s Shade of Grey and her commentary was worryingly different to the bear's.

 

I know Bearsy is on the Man-Booker panel but he could just be making it all up. Perhaps this is just a case of bears are from Uranus woman are from Venus; but Mrs saintbletch's account doesn't mention the use of a avion saws, sandwich-filling conversations, spack-hands or the fact that Anastasia is fat. Although she does concur that it is dreadfully written.

 

*Spolier alert.

 

I can confirm that a boning is coming soon and Mrs. saintbletch tells me it is tender and passionate but that the rest of the book is punctuated by latex, butt-plugs, the room, and a dispute over a legal contract between Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.

 

Oh, and just so we can fulfil the rule-oneage, it was rumoured that Emma Watson was to play Ana Steele - although she has denied having been approached.

 

 

So I guess that means that, at least in the screen version, she's not likely to be a 'porker'.

[Tokyo-Saint]

As you know Bletch, I find it difficult to stay with you through all of your postings. My mind has been known to drift off, thinking about everything from do you really sound like Carson to did Jimmy really bone them kids and did Luis know.

 

However, I think I stuck with it most of the way through. Can I confirm the following:

 

1) The muppet show had 60 people viewing at one point yesterday, you don't like this as you want me and bear to yourself

2) Your Mrs read this and you got loads of action from it. You therefore want to defend the book, this is understandable.

3) You've still got that wrist watch up you.

4) They are making a porno version of this with the skinny bird form Titanic or Harry Potter or whatever getting boned.

[saintbletch]

As you know Bletch, I find it difficult to stay with you through all of your postings. My mind has been known to drift off, thinking about everything from do you really sound like Carson to did Jimmy really bone them kids and did Luis know.

 

However, I think I stuck with it most of the way through. Can I confirm the following:

 

1) The muppet show had 60 people viewing at one point yesterday, you don't like this as you want me and bear to yourself

2) Your Mrs read this and you got loads of action from it. You therefore want to defend the book, this is understandable.

3) You've still got that wrist watch up you.

4) They are making a porno version of this with the skinny bird form Titanic or Harry Potter or whatever getting boned.

 

1) It's voyeurism not activism though Toke. Can I call you Toke? "Oh bear, you're so funny". "Keep going bear, I've nearly got wood". "Just one more chapter bear and I'll be having a crisis". That's not right Toke. If each of those 60 visitors proved themselves to be worthy Muppets and posted something other than the nauseously fawning commentary of their masturbatory process, then I'd be all for it.

2) True, true and true. I've got the *limp to prove it.

3) Yep. I walk round the house like Tick-Tock the Croc from Peter Pan.

4) Yes.

 

But I think you nodded off whilst I was making my most important point. Well, my most important two points each of which had two subclauses. But in an effort to keep you with me, I'll keep this brief. Well Bletch-brief anyway.

 

Bearsy cannot write his reviews just from a male perspective. Despite the relatively small numbers of female members (not to mention our gay and bi members too), he has to give equal importance to the sexual attractiveness of the male lead and other male characters. To my eye, his reviews seem to have strayed a little toward the heterosexual male perspective.

 

If he doesn't correct this then the Saintsweb ball will be taken away from us by the authorities and we'll all have to toddle off home for an early tea.

 

*limp was intentionally used here as a homophone. Well, a homonym to be precise.

[tpbury]

As a feisty youngster I would often go to my dad's bookshelves and peruse such things as confessions of a Window Cleaner, Delta of Venus and Crash, I became very adept at skimming the book using an iterative process (page 5 - no perviness - page 105 no perviness, try page 55. No perviness? try page 25 etc etc). I used this method on my ex's shades of Grey whilst at her place, and in the two minutes I had, I found zero perviness. In comparison to Crash (JG Ballard - had to look that up, disintegrating brain cells - was thinking of TJ Hooker) , a similarly sized book, where I got to drug fuelled paraplegic sex in under 1 minute, I can only conclude the action in Grey is minimal. Delta of Venus was a cinch, obviously, finding the non perv bits would have been harder.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Cheers Bletch,

 

To steal and adapt a line from 'The office', "Sue said she likes it and she is the office woman, so..."

 

I thought you would like this thread bletch, it being about books and sex (two of your favourites). Bear even did one of your homoeopathic jokes, I thought you'd be loving this?

 

I hear what you are saying about the lurkers, but this is a long standing issue. Usually there are 7 or 8 people at anyone time looking at the Muppet show but as you pointed out, in the most part, it is just me and bear talkin carp annoying Scotty or paradise or tim or whoever.

 

The thing is though beltch, we have to encourage the lurchers out into the light. Lets say 10% of lurkers are not so far gone that they can't be converted into normal human posters. Well, if we have about 10 lurkers, then just one will come out (this has already happened with Zeppy) the other 8 or 9 will sit quietly in the background laughing at your homepaths.

 

If we have 60 though bletch, we can get 10 of them! (never was good at maths ) We already have Italian Sue, Golfing Phil and maybe some others.

 

This porno book could bring the muppet show back to the glory days.

 

Look at how bad the main bored is as well. This can only help things.

Edited 11 October, 2012 by Tokyo-Saint

[dubai_phil]

Tokyos mentioning Golfing Phil in a sex thread is only going to go in a Simon Cowell One Direction nightmare

 

Did I ever mention I know the guru of golfing sex? I'm gonna show him Bearsys review when it's done and see what the Master thinks

[Window Cleaner]

Bear even did one of your homoeopathic jokes, I thought you'd be loving this?

 

 

 

what a joke about alternative medicine ?

[Tokyo-Saint]

Yes windows, exactly that.

[saintbletch]

Cheers Bletch,

 

To steal and adapt a line from 'The office', "Sue said she likes it and she is the office woman, so..."

 

I thought you would like this thread bletch, it being about books and sex (two of your favourites). Bear even did one of your homoeopathic jokes, I thought you'd be loving this?

 

I hear what you are saying about the lurkers, but this is a long standing issue. Usually there are 7 or 8 people at anyone time looking at the Muppet show but as you pointed out, in the most part, it is just me and bear talkin carp annoying Scotty or paradise or tim or whoever.

 

The thing is though beltch, we have to encourage the lurchers out into the light. Lets say 10% of lurkers are not so far gone that they can't be converted into normal human posters. Well, if we have about 10 lurkers, then just one will come out (this has already happened with Zeppy) the other 8 or 9 will sit quietly in the background laughing at your homepaths.

 

If we have 60 though bletch, we can get 10 of them! (never was good at maths ) We already have Italian Sue, Golfing Phil and maybe some others.

 

This porno book could bring the muppet show back to the glory days.

 

Look at how bad the main bored is as well. This can only help things.

 

I follow your logic Toke. But if only 10 of them turn back into "normal human posters", that means that when the bear hits the vinegar stroke in chapter 4 there'll be 50 lurkers somewhere around the south of England and beyond, each with his trousers warming his ankles, scrolling feverishly with one hand whilst scrolling feverishly with the other.

 

If "learn to vvank with Bearsy" is going to be a regular feature of The Muppet Show then the least they could do is stop scrolling with one hand long enough to introduce themselves.

 

No?

 

*Perhaps I'm just old-fashioned.

 

*Said in the voice of the fat butler from Donwto'w'n Abbey.

[Bearsy]

You should probably change ur avatatar Beltchy!

 

[Tamesaint]

Sorry Bletch, tokyo and anyone else who has just joined in. This thread is about Bearsy.Get off this thread and get him back on.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Just joined in? Check out the 5th post, I've been here since the start.

 

This is the problem bear, you give the people a taste of something they like and they just want more and more, like greedy zombie's.

 

Don't worry though, I'll fight them off with a cricket bat.

 

PEOPLES! please take note. Bearsy is a busy bear, he also has to look after his own fragile mental health. 1 chapter of this book per day is the absolute limit any reasonable man or bear can take. Please be patient for the next chapter.

 

In the meantime, please talk amongst yourselves.

[Bearsy]

Lols i like the main boarders coming on here mugging you off! I mean, till they start on me then they is gonna experience the wrath!

[hypochondriac]

I'm patiently waiting for the next chapter.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Quit Lolzing bear and get reading. The peoples are getting restless!

 

I can't hold them off much longer. I can take the daily muggings of the registered users as they have limited firepower/posts but if the main boarders start, I might have to leg it.

 

Next up we'll have Turkish on here trying to wind up MLG....

 

Hang on, is this book review thing just part of a bigger plan of yours to lure MLG into the Muppet show?

[saintbletch]

Sorry Bletch, tokyo and anyone else who has just joined in. This thread is about Bearsy.Get off this thread and get him back on.

 

None taken Tamesaint. We're all waiting.

 

Tokyo-Saint, or the Toke as I now call him, and I were simply doing a tap-dance and cane routine until the big bear takes to the stage.

 

Can I just suggest that if you are planning to masturbate to Bearsy's next chapter review, you might want to clean the glistening gametes from your clenched fist before attempting to type your gushing praise for the bear.

 

Logitech's number one cause of keyboard failure is gizzed keys.

 

You have been warned.

[saintbletch]

You should probably change ur avatatar Beltchy!

 

 

You talkin' to me?

 

Thanks for the offer bear, but brand Bletch has taken me ages to craft. Travis has been with me through thin and thin.

 

Besides, I'm not changing my fictional avatatar for one that looks exactly like me stepping out for a Saturday night on the town.

 

It turns out you see, that as well as sounding like the fat butler from Downto'w'n Abbey, I look a lot like the man too.

 

Very strange.

[saintbletch]

Quit Lolzing bear and get reading. The peoples are getting restless!

 

I can't hold them off much longer. I can take the daily muggings of the registered users as they have limited firepower/posts but if the main boarders start, I might have to leg it.

 

Next up we'll have Turkish on here trying to wind up MLG....

 

Hang on, is this book review thing just part of a bigger plan of yours to lure MLG into the Muppet show?

 

I have a feeling that the bear has got reviewers droop.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Don't worry bear, take your time. Bletch has joined in fighting off the barbarians. He is even calling them vvankers in a posh way . I bet they don't even know it!

[PhilippineSaint]

Will be coming out of hiding from Africa soon if Bearsy needs any help in reviewing the shades I can borrow the ladyboy's version and get stuck in.

[kipstryker]

You have to consider that some lurkers have read it and wish to remain anonymous in case they let on. I haven't of course but have a friend who has. And he's not a fat Doris. If my friend was to blurt out hurry up and get to the bit with the Alsatian and tomato soup then ridicule could send him back to the main board for ever.

[ZepSaint]

Cheers Bletch,

 

The thing is though beltch, we have to encourage the lurchers out into the light. Lets say 10% of lurkers are not so far gone that they can't be converted into normal human posters. Well, if we have about 10 lurkers, then just one will come out (this has already happened with Zeppy).

 

 

First time I've been called a human in feckin' ages ! :-)

 

Lovin' the review though

[Tokyo-Saint]

You have to consider that some lurkers have read it and wish to remain anonymous in case they let on. I haven't of course but have a friend who has. And he's not a fat Doris. If my friend was to blurt out hurry up and get to the bit with the Alsatian and tomato soup then ridicule could send him back to the main board for ever.

 

This lurker has potential... Tell us more kipster!

[Tokyo-Saint]

16 lurkers logged in viewing this forum right now. Only 1 active thread, 0 people posting.

 

THE AUDIENCE IS WAITING BEAR!

[Jonnyboy]

Sorry that I haven't contributed earlier despite my name being taken in vain a number of times. I had tried to open this web page but it turns out it had been stuck to the previous page with middle-aged man-gloy.

 

Now I've finally managed to ditch the DNA and open it, I find all this fawning over the bear's literary review of the 50 shade of greys very disturbing.

 

Firstly, this sort of highbrow review belongs in the Arts forum not The Muppet Show. And this from the Muppet Show Moderator too.

 

Secondly, there are too many visitors to The Muppet Show now. It was better in the summer when it was just Bearsy and Tokyo playing with each other while a small number of us watched on. Well done bear. I hope you're proud of yourself.

 

Thirdly, The Muppet Show is an equal opportunity sub-forum. I'm detecting a smidgen of male-bias in your review Bearsy. Sainstweb has a female community too, and despite the fact that I might only need 3 fingers to account for them, we need positive-discrimination here. Your reviews Bearsy, have to contain as much lechery over Christian Grey as they do the female characters. This is Muppet Show law.

 

Fourthly, and most importantly, as I mentioned on another thread, Mrs saintbletch has read 50s Shade of Grey and her commentary was worryingly different to the bear's.

 

I know Bearsy is on the Man-Booker panel but he could just be making it all up. Perhaps this is just a case of bears are from Uranus woman are from Venus; but Mrs saintbletch's account doesn't mention the use of a avion saws, sandwich-filling conversations, spack-hands or the fact that Anastasia is fat. Although she does concur that it is dreadfully written.

 

*Spolier alert.

 

I can confirm that a boning is coming soon and Mrs. saintbletch tells me it is tender and passionate but that the rest of the book is punctuated by latex, butt-plugs, the room, and a dispute over a legal contract between Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele.

 

Oh, and just so we can fulfil the rule-oneage, it was rumoured that Emma Watson was to play Ana Steele - although she has denied having been approached.

 

 

So I guess that means that, at least in the screen version, she's not likely to be a 'porker'.

 

I'm reliably informed that she will be played by Porno queen extradonaire (the appropriately named) Sasha Grey:

 

[CB Saint]

Well either this chapter is a belter and the bear is still mopping up, or he is not taking his responsibilities seriously.

[Bearsy]

50 Shades of Grey: Chapter 4

 

He don't kiss her. Smart move in my opinion, b!tch is mental. If he was reading her internal monologues like I'm reading her internal monologues he'd push her back over and peg it.

 

"Thank you for saving me," she says now. He seems confused by this. I don't blame him, I'm confused too. I had to read back a bit to find that when she tripped over just now she very nearly fell in the road and got run over... by a cyclist. Oh yeah thanks for saving me, if it weren't for your superior periphial vision i might have got a skinned knee.

 

"I shudder to think what could have happened to you," he replies clearly taking the p!ss. I'm starting to like this guy!

 

He then dumps her back off at her car and he goes happily off on his day buying nipple clamps or whatever, whereas she gets in her car ("Wanda" FFS) and immediately bursts into tears. This pretty much demonstrates the difference between bro's and ho's. B!tches is mental!

 

She then spends the next 10 pages agonising over this situation. She is saying dumb stuff like What was I thinking? Why am I crying? Why don't he like me? I dunno why she's asking me, I'm only reading the ****ing thing i ain't sposed to be an active participant. Besides which, I really don't give a fvvck!

 

"Am I too skinny?" she wonders. I dunno virgin, but I'm pretty sure that ain't it.

 

There's now one of them time jump things I think it's only a couple of days and we find she's finishing her final exams. B!tch decides to go out and get hammered, and I'm not completely surprised to learn that "I've never been drunk before." I'm starting to wonder bout this virgin! There seems to be an awful lot of things she ain't never done before. I'd think she were Muslim if she hadn't wolfed down a ham sandwich in chapter 2.

 

I dunno how you feel about rape. I've always been against it personally. It's one of them things in society what ain't technically illegal but are frowned upon, like picking your nose and wiping it on a train seat. But you've got to admit in her dealings with Jose this b!tch has been asking for it!

 

They're all at the bar that night, the virgin, Katherine "Kate" Kavenagh, Jose, probably cvvnt Travis and a few other new characters i can't even be bothered to mention. Jose is buying pitchers of Margherittas. This surprises me, if he's planning to roofie the virgin he'd be better off with individual drinks.

 

So the virgin gets proper hammered and then she goes outside for some fresh air. Jose follows her... I'm getting a bit excited now! I can see where this is goings! He rams her up against the wall and he's all kissing on her face, I don't mind admitting I'm getting a bit hard! I'm way ahead of the plot now, I'm picturing the lift of the skirt, the rough pull aside of the panties... I bet that's another thing you ain't done virgin! "In all my 21 years no-one ever finger-banged me in a Weatherspoon car park".

 

"I think the lady said no," a voice in the dark says quietly. It's bleeding Christian Grey come to perform the ultimate cock-block!

 

She's like how did you find me and he's like oh I tracked your phone like that's fvvcking normal. Whatever.

 

They have one of their long boring conversations, they go back in the bar and then the virgin abruptly passes out. Huh. Maybe Jose did spike her drink after all.

[ZepSaint]

This is a mental review !

 

Bearsy, you sure you've never been on The South Bank with this level of understanding ?

[Jonnyboy]

I miss the days when a book could turn me on. Such innocent times.

[Tokyo-Saint]

I'm starting to like this Jose guy. I can see a lot of myself in him, apart from the photography and being friends with them part.

[ZepSaint]

I'm starting to like this Jose guy. I can see a lot of myself in him, apart from the photography and being friends with them part.

 

Not sure I'd start banging a bird who can't tell the difference between a bird of prey and a tool for cutting wood though, would you ?

[Jonnyboy]

Not sure I'd start banging a bird who can't tell the difference between a bird of prey and a tool for cutting wood though, would you ?

 

He might have killed her afterwards though.

[ZepSaint]

He might have killed her afterwards though.

 

 

Tru, praps he could use other stuff he bought in her hardware store to build a coffin ..................could even leave a peephole in it for post burial activities ......

[Jonnyboy]

Tru, praps he could use other stuff he bought in her hardware store to build a coffin ..................could even leave a peephole in it for post burial activities ......

 

Well I meant Fonte, but if Christian is going to kill her too thay might as well drill two glory holes in the coffin and have a necro-threesome.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Not sure I'd start banging a bird who can't tell the difference between a bird of prey and a tool for cutting wood though, would you ?

 

Depends what she looks like.

[ZepSaint]

Depends what she looks like.

 

 

Apparently, this Uni student (who's never been ****ed or kissed) is a fat one according to Bearsy's very exact review, sort of like a 20year old roly-poly

[Bearsy]

Jury's still out on that one zepster! My investigations of the text so far is only revealing that she thinks herself skinny! The rumours that she is a massive porker is coming mainly from Tokyo's b!tches on facebooks, and possibly inferred from the fact that no-one is bothering to nail her as yet!

[ZepSaint]

Jury's still out on that one zepster! My investigations of the text so far is only revealing that she thinks herself skinny! The rumours that she is a massive porker is coming mainly from Tokyo's b!tches on facebooks, and possibly inferred from the fact that no-one is bothering to nail her as yet!

 

I'm sure a man of your obvious specialities will get to the root of the issue

[suewhistle]

If we have 60 though bletch, we can get 10 of them! (never was good at maths ) We already have Italian Sue, Golfing Phil and maybe some others.T

 

I know, it's embarassing that I've popped in again; so is snorting with laughter - most inelegant!

 

Various comments spring to mind.. I can't help thinking Bearsy "knows the difference between a hawk and a handsaw" and which Shakespeare play it comes from. Actually, perhaps he can remind me... I think it's Hamlet...?? I'm not sure he needs Kleenex, he doesn't seem the crying type..

 

Don't worry Bletch, we're not too worried about the lack of a female perspective... laughing too much to mind! As your Mrs has noted, not a well-written book, and that has been vividly communicated by Bearsy! Still waiting for the next chapters though.

 

Anyway, there was this American tourist in my town two weeks ago. The barman in my local wine bar asked for some help in translating: numerous red wines later I invited them back to my flat to raid my cellar and to try a few more local wines and a few other local things.... I'm thinking of writing a short story called "50 shades of red"..

[Tokyo-Saint]

You little minx Sue... Are you trying to tell us the start of a story here?

[PhilippineSaint]

I know, it's embarassing that I've popped in again; so is snorting with laughter - most inelegant!

 

Various comments spring to mind.. I can't help thinking Bearsy "knows the difference between a hawk and a handsaw" and which Shakespeare play it comes from. Actually, perhaps he can remind me... I think it's Hamlet...?? I'm not sure he needs Kleenex, he doesn't seem the crying type..

 

Don't worry Bletch, we're not too worried about the lack of a female perspective... laughing too much to mind! As your Mrs has noted, not a well-written book, and that has been vividly communicated by Bearsy! Still waiting for the next chapters though.

 

Anyway, there was this American tourist in my town two weeks ago. The barman in my local wine bar asked for some help in translating: numerous red wines later I invited them back to my flat to raid my cellar and to try a few more local wines and a few other local things.... I'm thinking of writing a short story called "50 shades of red"..

 

Is the cellar the flat below yours which would mean you raided somebody else's apartment for you victualling needs after a night on the tiles

 

I like it

[saintbletch]

I know, it's embarassing that I've popped in again; so is snorting with laughter - most inelegant!

 

Various comments spring to mind.. I can't help thinking Bearsy "knows the difference between a hawk and a handsaw" and which Shakespeare play it comes from. Actually, perhaps he can remind me... I think it's Hamlet...?? I'm not sure he needs Kleenex, he doesn't seem the crying type..

 

Don't worry Bletch, we're not too worried about the lack of a female perspective... laughing too much to mind! As your Mrs has noted, not a well-written book, and that has been vividly communicated by Bearsy! Still waiting for the next chapters though.

 

Anyway, there was this American tourist in my town two weeks ago. The barman in my local wine bar asked for some help in translating: numerous red wines later I invited them back to my flat to raid my cellar and to try a few more local wines and a few other local things.... I'm thinking of writing a short story called "50 shades of red"..

 

Just between you and I suewhistle, I'm not that worried about the female perspective myself. But the thought of Bearsy having to channel the female sexual phsyche to write about Christian did appeal.

 

I hope I got this right, and I need to check because it turns an otherwise interesting anecdote about wine and translation into a tale of unexpected eroticism, but were you saying that someone asked you for help translating 50 Shades of Grey? Or was it some dull and boring engineering text?

 

I guess it's the difference between translating "Attach the clamps and then plug the lower hole with grommit B" and, well actually thinking about it there isn't much difference.

[Frank's cousin]

Just between you and I suewhistle, I'm not that worried about the female perspective myself. But the thought of Bearsy having to channel the female sexual phsyche to write about Christian did appeal.

 

I hope I got this right, and I need to check because it turns an otherwise interesting anecdote about wine and translation into a tale of unexpected eroticism, but were you saying that someone asked you for help translating 50 Shades of Grey? Or was it some dull and boring engineering text?

 

I guess it's the difference between translating "Attach the clamps and then plug the lower hole with grommit B" and, well actually thinking about it there isn't much difference.

 

Steady on Bletchy, I detect that you are finding Sue' revelations of her evening with the American and the Barman fuelled by Barollo/chianti (depending on the quality of Sue's cellar ) erotic and mildly stimulating?