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Things What Give Me Boner


Bearsy
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These are all things what are things what give me boner!

 

Boobs when they is in a tight fitting top or a nice push up bra or whatever, i also quite like it when the bra is bit too small so they is busting out. I watch them infomercials for elasticated sports bras sometimes and when they bring on the before models who is wearing the wrong size wonder bra i try and spank one off before they get to change them into them ugly elasticated well fitting things. I also prefer boobs when they is still in clothes. That sounds gay but boobs just all out and naked ain't quite so hot! They is often not perfectly symmetrical, or the nipples is too big or too small and also they look a bit wrong just flapping about. It's like when someone who is wearing glasses is taking their glasses off. They is not looking quite right.

When b!tches is crying. I like it when they is crying. Specially if it's bout some dumb thing I done or whatever. I like it when they is telling me off proper and I'm all trying to have sex with them when they is still angry. It's super hot! but it's a fine line though. If they is too mad it can get a bit rapey.

 

When people is touching my earholes. I used to have a cat when I was like 13. He was called Toby. He's dead now. He used to sleep on my bed at night and when he is wanting to go outside to harrass the local wildlifes and bone girl cats he is licking my earholes to wake me up and let him out. This is giving me big boner! I am having mostly erotic dreams and then I'm all waking up to find to find toby routing round in my earholes. I tell people bout this sometimes, cos i like telling people bout stuff but at this point they is mostly having a horrified expression so i don't like to be telling them the next bit, which is that one time i woke up and tried to spank one off while Toby was licking me out but i got too enthusiastic and he got startled and scarpered.

 

I still like it when people is in my earholes. Sometimes I go to doctor and complain of earaches.

 

The television show Just For Laughs. It ain't on no more. I used to watch it on a Saturday evening before I went out. You can still see it on youtubes. They is doing pathetically childing practical jokes on people which is quite often bout catching dudes looking up b!tches skirts or whatever. This is my all time favourite one tho:

 

[video=youtube_share;Otd31V-Pu_Q]

 

It is totally genius! It is bout this hot guy and he is walking down the street and there is these dumb girls and he is meandering over giving them a big smile and the flirty eye or whatever and you see them thinking Oh yes I must be looking hot today or whatever and then BUUUURRRP! he is doing big belch right in their faces! and you see them all going What The ****!

 

It's my favourite. I like to watch it every day. It's pretty bad having Sexy Burping Man in my search history but to be honest there's worse things in there. Sexy Cats or whatever.

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I noticed you said people bear but the rest of the stuff was about *****es and that story was about a cat. Please be specifics.

 

Can I add to the list as well? Thinking about not getting a bona always seems to bring one on. It's a nightmare if you are getting a massage or like hair cut and you think, better not get one now. Even if you didn't have one before or even nearly a semi, now you will have one and and embarrassing problem on your hands.

 

They really don't like it when it's on your hands either.

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I remember going to the swimming pool as a kid and we was queing up the stairs to get on the water chute thing and there was middle aged man in front of me wearing just speedos and when he is turning round I'm seeing he is having massive boner and it's peeking out the top of his trunks ike a cautious mouse! I spose I could be generous and say that he was just like you and thinking don't get boner don't get boner but I think it more likely he was just a wrong 'un. He weren't trying to cover it up or nothing. He was being all nonchalant with his hands on his hips like people weren't going to notice the tip of his pen!s winking at them.

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I'm a little disappointed that you have created a new thread, Bearsy. Strikes me as exactly the sort of information that would enrich and nourish the Ramirez Off Topic Thread.

 

The off-topic part of Ramirez's brain makes sadface.

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Sleeping sometimes gives me wood, especially when I wake up busting for a waz and have to contort my body and rock hard bellend to aim at the bog hoping not to spray all over the shop, they need to make a contraption to solve this problem and present it to the Dragons

 

 

Thanks for that information. I'll sleep better tonight for reading it.

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Sleeping sometimes gives me wood, especially when I wake up busting for a waz and have to contort my body and rock hard bellend to aim at the bog hoping not to spray all over the shop, they need to make a contraption to solve this problem and present it to the Dragons

 

Think you need to get to the docs tbf.

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