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Master Bates
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ARIES

You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a f*ck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding.

 

TAURUS

Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of pi5s.

 

GEMINI

Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a neurotic schizophrenic. A real f*cking weirdo, the type of person who'd kill themself to win a bet.

 

CANCER

You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous b@stard who would sell relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.

 

LEO

The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the welfare.

 

VIRGO

You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bullshi*ting and you're a cheap b@stard. Virgo men are usually gay and the majority of Virgo women are whores.

 

LIBRA

You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an a5shole. For your entire life people will make a complete pr*ck out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.

 

SCORPIO

You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You always have snot on your clothes.

 

SAGITTARIUS

You are the romantic type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. You thrive on incest.

 

CAPRICORN

You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centred c*nt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.

 

AQUARIUS

You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.

 

PISCES

You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You're a pr*ck.

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SCORPIO

You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You always have snot on your clothes.

 

That is like soooo right it's uncanny, hahahaha, I just made myself out to be zany. If only you all knew that i'm quite comfortably the most droll person on here the joke would be on me, but the joke is on you.

 

IN YOUR FACE SPAZMOS!!1111111111111 Boj send a PM to Jill, not one of your usual seedy attempts of smacking my ho up, but to get me sorted so I can terrorise your servermobile.

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SAGITTARIUS

You are the romantic type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. You thrive on incest.

 

The first bit was accurate..not so much the second bit. The third bit really hit the metaphorical nail on the head though.

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SAGITTARIUS

You are the romantic type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. You thrive on incest.

 

first sentence- true

second sentence- never say never

third sentence- extremely offensive.......i'm not from Pompey FFS!!!:mad:

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