A nice pear

[RonManager]

On the table, bottom left.

 

Juicy I'll wager.

 

[Bearsy]

Whenever i look at old paintings, which to be fair ain't that often, I'm always struck by how ugly the b!tches was back in them days. It's a surprise the humans didn't die out when all the girls was so pie faced!

 

I've been investigating it though in my head and have found the following options:

1) B!tches was just genuinely uglier in olden days

b) B!tches are still ugly, it's just they is disguising it with modern improvements in make up and boob jobs

iii) The painters in old days was just sh!t and made all the hot b!tches look ugly

[Tokyo-Saint]

I dont know bear, that's one looks like she's got a fair bit of make up on. Not in a goods way though, like those girls that only put it on the bits they see when they look in the mirror. They don't realise that there are other bits you can see when you look at a slightly different angle. That bird looks like she need some lessons from boots in how to put her foundation on.

[Whitey Grandad]

[Tokyo-Saint]

A you finished playing chess yet whitey? Is this to be my new avatar?

[Bearsy]

I dont know bear, that's one looks like she's got a fair bit of make up on. Not in a goods way though, like those girls that only put it on the bits they see when they look in the mirror. They don't realise that there are other bits you can see when you look at a slightly different angle. That bird looks like she need some lessons from boots in how to put her foundation on.

 

Word. I also notice she's messed up with the fake tan on her right hand. We've got a girl like that at work i was like what's that on your hand and she was like it's fake tan and i was like "oh... how come you only put it on your knuckles?"

[GAS]

On the table, bottom left.

 

Juicy I'll wager.

 

Just a few observations: is her left one bigger than her right? Has she got any nipples? Why were cabbages so big in them days? What kind of a lunatic would paint such a picture?

[RonManager]

Just a few observations: is her left one bigger than her right? Has she got any nipples? Why were cabbages so big in them days? What kind of a lunatic would paint such a picture?

 

Since you asked. This is the Tate Gallery's 'Work of the week'.

 

http://www.tate.org.uk/context-comment/blogs/work-week-cookmaid-still-life-vegetables-and-fruit-sir-nathaniel-bacon?utm_source=&utm_medium=&utm_campaign=

[Tokyo-Saint]

One is bigger than the other but I think this is just down to medieval wonder bras not being up to much. Bletchy will be able to confirm this as well as give us the old word for bras next time he logs on. There were loads of dirty pics in the olden days why we fussin over this one? Is it by a famous perv?

[saintbletch]

One is bigger than the other but I think this is just down to medieval wonder bras not being up to much. Bletchy will be able to confirm this as well as give us the old word for bras next time he logs on. There were loads of dirty pics in the olden days why we fussin over this one? Is it by a famous perv?

 

The brassiere was invented by Vincent du Brassiere in 1672. It was introduced primarily as device to allow women of that period to remove small coinage from their pockets without first having to lift one or both of their saggy breasts out of the way.

 

The promotion of the device is remembered as much for the controversy it caused as for being one of the first known examples of viral marketing.

 

Johannes Vermeer was commissioned to paint a wonderfully lifelike picture of Nell Gwyn wearing nothing but the early brassiere and a pair of pig bladder hoes. She was captured looking down in surprise at her ample and well supported breasts and a caption, added after Vermeer's work, has her saying to her breasts "Hello Pillicocks".

 

The original work was hung over London Bridge where passing women felt inferior and passing men felt themselves. Young artists made hand sketches of the work which passed covertly among the male population of London by letter. These later became known as G Mails - after Gwynn's initial.

[Whitey Grandad]

A you finished playing chess yet whitey? Is this to be my new avatar?

 

Sure, why not?

[Frank's cousin]

Bearsy - you need to recall that in them olden days, skinny ladies were considered 'poor' and that a more rotund and fuller lady would suggest better nourishment and of better 'stock' - and as the old saying goes ....

 

The image of 'ripe fruit' that we we are now conditioned to accept is merely due to thosee maagzines telling us what a perfect form should be like - In this case the pear does indeed look juicy and appettising, firm and ripe.

[scotty]

I didn't notice her face at all, tbh. Bearsy must bat from the pavilion end.

[GAS]

On the table, bottom left.

 

Juicy I'll wager.

 

Is the cabbage on the left pointing out of the window to the field where an old lady is being abducted by a monster with hair like a lion? Or have I just drunk too much over the years?