Dog Posted 18 November, 2008 Share Posted 18 November, 2008 (edited) I'd just moved into my new house and got talking to this fit blonde who I noticed standing in the garden next door. She told me she was busy painting and I offered to help while she went down to the shop to get more paint and stuff. When she was gone, I took the opportunity to raid her knicker drawers (like you do) and found loads of saucy underwear, a huge dildo, anal beads, love eggs and all sorts of pleasurable gadgets. I couldn't resist a lick, sniff and a quick wnak. I finished up and got painting just in time as she walked in with a huge smile on her face and gave me a hug. I asked her what that was for... and she said..... "Thank you, my grandparents are gonna be thrilled!" Edited 18 November, 2008 by Dog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
INFLUENCED.COM Posted 18 November, 2008 Share Posted 18 November, 2008 A young bloke pulls an older woman at a night club, she's 61 but looks very good for her age, on the way back to her house the bloke is thinking mmmmnnnnnnnn I bet her daughter is hot, then out of the blue she asks if he'd like a sportsmans double ? "whats that" he asked "its a mother and daughter threesome", yes please he replied, as they walk into her house she turnt on the hall light and shouted "Mum are you still awake ??" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 18 November, 2008 Share Posted 18 November, 2008 Here is a tip for you. Get that new Lynx deodourant with a touch of Chocolate, spray it on your d*ck and go stand outside the local school. Works a bloody treat. ___________________ Have you ever noticed that it's only 'perfect' people who are murdered or killed in horrific accidents? "He was the perfect son" or "She was the perfect daughter." "Such a tragic accident they were the perfect family." "They died together,the perfect couple till the end." Makes me glad I abuse my kids and beat up my wife. Kind of makes me immortal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
INFLUENCED.COM Posted 18 November, 2008 Share Posted 18 November, 2008 Gypsy takes his wife to casualty, she's no teeth, a broken nose & two black eyes, Nurse says "what has happened", Gypsy says "she was going through the change" the nurse replied "that doesn't happen with the change", gypsy says "it does when its in my pocket" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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