Spudders Posted 23 January, 2014 Posted 23 January, 2014 FYI the best way to calm horses down is with wheel spins Bearsy, the screeching noise the tyres make on the road is relaxing to horses, plus they also like the smell of burning rubber, so do it as close to them as you can, so they can get a whiff. Try it next time.
Spudders Posted 23 January, 2014 Posted 23 January, 2014 FYI the best way to calm horses down is with wheel spins Bearsy, the screeching noise the tyres make on the road is relaxing to horses, plus they also like the smell of burning rubber, so do it as close to them as you can, so they can get a whiff. Try it next time. Careful with this advice though, this person did relaxing wheel spins, but forgot they had condoms in their back seat. The horse was so aroused by the rubber from the tyres, it then picked up on the smell of the condoms and tried to get into the car to get them (probably to have safe sex with car driver, as horses are very responsible lovers)
dubai_phil Posted 23 January, 2014 Posted 23 January, 2014 what do we think bout horses when people is riding them on roads? My next door neighbour has got one & she is always driving it down my road and parking it outside my house. It does a lot of poo on the street too, but it's not stinky poo like when you have KFC it is more grass poo like when you have salad. I am v.respectful if I'm driving and see one out on road tho, cos I know that they get v.angar if people is cut them off. What I do when i see horserider is i slow right down and creep up behind it, then i give a friendly toot-toot on the car horn and respectful thumbs up and i give them v.wide berth as i go past, cos i have often noticed horses is difficult to control and frequently rear up when I'm passing. I assume this means that you have award winning Roses growing in your garden. Free Manure, you lucky sod. Hey if the hourly rate at Macky D's doesn't go up I am sure you could flog the manure on the side. Actually come to think of it, you could add some as a secret ingredient. Would make the Big Mac's taste better, or persuade McD's to sell them world wide as Organic burgers
saintbletch Posted 23 January, 2014 Posted 23 January, 2014 would put this dude out of business bletch [video=youtube_share;VTXKkq_Bwhc] Ironically Bear, I have exactly the opposite affliction to this poor man. I constantly roam supermarkets looking for suitable people, and then I stick my backside in their face hoping that they will sniff it. I even mostly make sure I've had a wash. Mostly. Well, we've all got fetishes.
Tokyo-Saint Posted 23 January, 2014 Posted 23 January, 2014 You go to supermarkets Bletch? Supermarkets and use the bus???? #shatteredillusions
saintbletch Posted 23 January, 2014 Posted 23 January, 2014 You go to supermarkets Bletch? Supermarkets and use the bus???? #shatteredillusions I don't shop in supermarkets - just look for 'suitable' people. And I don't use the bus, I've used a bus. Once.
Tokyo-Saint Posted 23 January, 2014 Posted 23 January, 2014 Oh like royal prince using west ham supporters grandmothers when they were whores in Jack the ripper days. Gottit.
buctootim Posted 23 January, 2014 Posted 23 January, 2014 I constantly roam supermarkets looking for suitable people, and then I stick my backside in their face hoping that they will sniff it. Well, we've all got fetishes. You should go to Burgess Hill Tesco's when they're putting the reduced price food out. Plenty of people prepared to Lambada and groin grind in an attempt to reach over you to get to the dried out cheese and manky fish - a familiar odour.
saintbletch Posted 23 January, 2014 Posted 23 January, 2014 You should go to Burgess Hill Tesco's when they're putting the reduced price food out. Plenty of people prepared to Lambada and groin grind in an attempt to reach over you to get to the dried out cheese and manky fish - a familiar odour. You can almost taste the wistful regret in your post there BTT. As I say, we've all got fetishes. Whatever melts your butter. Roll with it. Thanks for the advice though, I'll check it out as soon as I've learned to lambada.
Bearsy Posted 23 January, 2014 Posted 23 January, 2014 You should go to Burgess Hill Tesco's when they're putting the reduced price food out. Plenty of people prepared to Lambada and groin grind in an attempt to reach over you to get to the dried out cheese and manky fish - a familiar odour. my aunt died in burgess hill. She also lived there for many years. I am familiar with the Tesco + also we used to go to the Swimming Pool when we was visit as kids. And also, one time we went to the Steep Hills that is round there somewhere + I was running down the Steep Hills and i fell over + my face is land in cow pat. Good times.
buctootim Posted 23 January, 2014 Posted 23 January, 2014 Im sorry to hear that Bearsy, though she did always say she liked the ligature tight. This is Burgess Hill swimming pool now, flumes, outside lazy river and stuff - called the triangle, apparently not named by anyone with an obvious interest in geometry. The Downs are great for sledging in the frequent snow and frozen pats.
Bearsy Posted 23 January, 2014 Posted 23 January, 2014 yeah the triangle, that is the one. That is where i was queueing on stairs to go down tubes and there was grown man in front wearing speedo + boner. Thinking bout it, maybe it was you Tim?
saintbletch Posted 23 January, 2014 Posted 23 January, 2014 Im sorry to hear that Bearsy, though she did always say she liked the ligature tight. This is Burgess Hill swimming pool now, flumes, outside lazy river and stuff - called the triangle, apparently not named by anyone with an obvious interest in geometry. The Downs are great for sledging in the frequent snow and frozen pats. I can't conceive of any valid reason to sledge someone with Downs.
buctootim Posted 23 January, 2014 Posted 23 January, 2014 (edited) yeah the triangle, that is the one. That is where i was queueing on stairs to go down tubes and there was grown man in front wearing speedo + boner. Thinking bout it, maybe it was you Tim? Dont think so, but if you want to relive the old days I can give Bletch directions to the pool Edited 23 January, 2014 by buctootim
Tokyo-Saint Posted 23 January, 2014 Posted 23 January, 2014 my aunt died in burgess hill. Unrelated causes?
Tokyo-Saint Posted 23 January, 2014 Posted 23 January, 2014 I think your sexual advances may have killed Muppet Show Cato. No reply for 12 hours! Not even 7000 characters on golf or boning tigers.
Bearsy Posted 24 January, 2014 Posted 24 January, 2014 i punched a barmaid last night Edit: i am worse than osvaldo i will probably start in on small children + handicaps laters
Tokyo-Saint Posted 24 January, 2014 Posted 24 January, 2014 This is old news bear. Everyone knows that and likes it. That is the reason you were able to scrape in 2nd place in MVP awards.
Bearsy Posted 24 January, 2014 Posted 24 January, 2014 yeah it weren;t quite as bad as that! I mean it was accident, i didn't mean to punch a barmaid, she was like collateral damage or whatever. Still i will go + apologise tonight. I will give her something to make agologise. A boning or something nice like that.
Tokyo-Saint Posted 24 January, 2014 Posted 24 January, 2014 fuck that bear, treat them mean keep them keen. Punch her again if anything. Right in the baby maker. Then buy her a drink, keep her on her toes, birds love unpredictable guys.
Bearsy Posted 24 January, 2014 Posted 24 January, 2014 ok. Is that ur advice to osvaldo also? It made me think a bit bout Osvaldo in that things ain't necessary so v.bad till you take into context who the victim was. If Osvaldo had laid a simple, manly headbutt on D.Fox for example i don't think i would have much problem with it.
Tokyo-Saint Posted 24 January, 2014 Posted 24 January, 2014 I think Fonts might be the problem bear. Let's face it, he boned Pardew's bird or moaned when a 3sum went wrong or whatever. Then he keeps putting Jos by making tropical bird noises when crosses come in. This disorientates Jos making him the leagues highest scoring defender. Now this. The pattern cannot be ignored. We will never know the truth thou until Luke Shaw's dad tweets about it.
saintbletch Posted 24 January, 2014 Posted 24 January, 2014 Just overheard a great conversation. Woman A): I can't eat a cake today 'cause I'm on Weigh****chers. Woman B): I was going to say that you looked to have lost some weight, how's it going? Woman A): It's going well, I've lost loads. Woman B): Didn't you try Weigh****chers before? Woman A) Yeah, I did it about 15 years ago, but didn't lose much then because I love fruit too much. Woman B) Why did loving fruit mean you didn't lose weight? Woman A) Well, back then, fruit used to be 2 points for each item out of my 18 points per day. But now it's zero points so it's not as fattening. So I can eat as much as I like.
notnowcato Posted 24 January, 2014 Posted 24 January, 2014 Just overheard a great conversation. Woman A): I can't eat a cake today 'cause I'm on Weigh****chers. Woman B): I was going to say that you looked to have lost some weight, how's it going? Woman A): It's going well, I've lost loads. Woman B): Didn't you try Weigh****chers before? Woman A) Yeah, I did it about 15 years ago, but didn't lose much then because I love fruit too much. Woman B) Why did loving fruit mean you didn't lose weight? Woman A) Well, back then, fruit used to be 2 points for each item out of my 18 points per day. But now it's zero points so it's not as fattening. So I can eat as much as I like. Never thought I'd want a golf story so much..
saintbletch Posted 24 January, 2014 Posted 24 January, 2014 Never thought I'd want a golf story so much.. None taken.
notnowcato Posted 24 January, 2014 Posted 24 January, 2014 None taken. The comedy stars in weigh****chers was the highlight. Sorry SB, that did come across a little harsh - didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
saintbletch Posted 24 January, 2014 Posted 24 January, 2014 The comedy stars in weigh****chers was the highlight. Sorry SB, that did come across a little harsh - didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Well you did. So what you going to do about it? Want a fight?
Big Bad Bob Posted 24 January, 2014 Posted 24 January, 2014 http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/dp/B000EVQWKC Read the product description then the reviews....
notnowcato Posted 24 January, 2014 Posted 24 January, 2014 Well you did. So what you going to do about it? Want a fight? Despite my hard man Internet persona I'm a lover not a hater. Can I kiss it better?
saintbletch Posted 24 January, 2014 Posted 24 January, 2014 Despite my hard man Internet persona I'm a lover not a hater. Can I kiss it better? You can't kiss someone's trust better, notnowcato. It was beautiful and fragile, and now it's gone.
Bearsy Posted 27 January, 2014 Posted 27 January, 2014 why would i pay £35 for blow job when i can get suck + cum in mouth for £15?
saintbletch Posted 27 January, 2014 Posted 27 January, 2014 why would i pay £35 for blow job when i can get suck + cum in mouth for £15? Because I'm worth it?
Window Cleaner Posted 27 January, 2014 Posted 27 January, 2014 don't know what the world's coming to, used to be able to get all that stuff (and more) FOC from women of very similar appearance any time, any where. I blame University Fees and the lack of student grants myself. Gals didn't used to need money so desperately and if they did, well they got a barmaids job so that they could earn money and then let blokes tup them for free.
buctootim Posted 27 January, 2014 Posted 27 January, 2014 why would i pay £35 for blow job when i can get suck + cum in mouth for £15? You got the phone number?, for research n' stuff
Bearsy Posted 27 January, 2014 Posted 27 January, 2014 used to be able to get all that stuff (and more) FOC from women of very similar appearance any time, any where. yeah but rape is illegal now
Bearsy Posted 27 January, 2014 Posted 27 January, 2014 You got the phone number?, for research n' stuff 02392 731204
Tokyo-Saint Posted 27 January, 2014 Posted 27 January, 2014 Hi bear Can you plse ask you sister for differences between suck off, blow job and suk and cum in mouth? I am interested in all 3 although £3 supplement seems harsh.
Bearsy Posted 27 January, 2014 Posted 27 January, 2014 i think suck off is explanatory, that is like what ur dad does at wimbledon common sun mornings. There is £3 charge for cum in mouth, tho tbh i would just pay £12 and then cum in mouth anyway cos what's stopping me? The blowjob is obv more high class version, tho i can't quite imagine how. Maybe less teeth.
Spudders Posted 27 January, 2014 Posted 27 January, 2014 Hi bear Can you plse ask you sister for differences between suck off, blow job and suk and cum in mouth? I am interested in all 3 although £3 supplement seems harsh. I have researched this on googles and because people refer to blow jobs, some girls do some blowing instead of sucking. This is not good if you want to be sucked off, but if you have just had a shower and have pubes likes an afro, then blow job will quickly dry your pubic region
PhilippineSaint Posted 27 January, 2014 Posted 27 January, 2014 Hi bear Can you plse ask you sister for differences between suck off, blow job and suk and cum in mouth? I am interested in all 3 although £3 supplement seems harsh. She's done some work for Cortese and thats the 15min parking fee tax
Tokyo-Saint Posted 27 January, 2014 Posted 27 January, 2014 Thanks guys. Please send over the invoice for 'date at Winchester Costa' whenever you are ready. A super time was had by all.
Bearsy Posted 27 January, 2014 Posted 27 January, 2014 i was thinking that, you know, if mikey did not click at weekend we could have whip round + maybe get him at least a dick massage. Or for just £1 extra we could fund him for wank off to completion.
Tokyo-Saint Posted 27 January, 2014 Posted 27 January, 2014 Looking at some of the prices bear, I thing if Mikey paid for coffee for two he might be expecting results. If they had snacks as well he might be expecting suk and cum in the mouth. Remember super M, no means no.
Bearsy Posted 27 January, 2014 Posted 27 January, 2014 i don't even like costa, i am more starbucks. That said, if i sprung for costa i would at least expect it to count as downpayment.
Tokyo-Saint Posted 27 January, 2014 Posted 27 January, 2014 Looking at the price list, cheese on toast can get it for free! No mention on daily limits though, she should put that in the small print.
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