The Ramirez Off Topic Thread

[Spudders]

but i look for more verbosity in my grown adults

 

Hi bear, please can you not use unusual words like "verbosity" in muppets area, you've been spending far too much time on the main board reading all those fancy dan long winded posts they have over there. I mean sure, I knows what it means but not everyone on here is cleverer as me, some simpletons might not have heard it before and have had to googles it just to see its meaning!

 

For any simpletons, off the top of my head it means something like

 

 

adj.

Using or containing a great and usually an excessive number of words; wordy. See Synonyms at wordy.

 

The excess use of words, especially using more than are needed for clarity or precision; long-windedness

 

(Bit like many of Dubai Phil's post really!)

[Tokyo-Saint]

yeah if i was that byatch i would prob have backed it up

 

When ur arguing, do you generally repeat the same thing over and over? I mean i get it with the little kids when they was saying, "That's why ur gay, that's why ur gay, that's why ur gay," but i look for more verbosity in my grown adults

 

Seems to work for Baz

 

Hi bear, please can you not use unusual words like "verbosity" in muppets area, you've been spending far too much time on the main board reading all those fancy dan long winded posts they have over there. I mean sure, I knows what it means but not everyone on here is cleverer as me, some simpletons might not have heard it before and have had to googles it just to see its meaning!

 

For any simpletons, off the top of my head it means something like

 

 

adj.

Using or containing a great and usually an excessive number of words; wordy. See Synonyms at wordy.

 

The excess use of words, especially using more than are needed for clarity or precision; long-windedness

 

(Bit like many of Dubai Phil's post really!)

 

Is this the next stage spudders.... you become a registered user? That Italian girl has changed you.

[Tokyo-Saint]

 

 

[Bearsy]

tokyos pls stop posting pictures of my gf on saintsweb, she don't like ur stalking behaviour!

[Tokyo-Saint]

lols first you reckon you have a job, now you're trying to make us believe you have a girlfriend. Riding a horse is not having a girlfriend bear, no matter how much you do it.

[Big Bad Bob]

mmm, wish I played beach football (to any sort of standard)

[Bearsy]

Yo!

 

I never really wrote nothing longer than text message before i wrote bout 50 shades, but i was struck bout how bitches lap up the most unpalatable tripe!

 

I thought I would have a go! I'm not gonna try write a book that is funny or interesting cos I reckon that would be difficult and there is no market for funny+interesting books, but I thought i might employ the stuff i learned from 50 shades and write a book specifically for bitches to read. I reckon this would be v.easy!

 

I'm not joking tho, it will have to be v.boring book. If I tried to put in bits that were too obvious satire or funny then bitches will not be buying it!

 

Here is my plan, I will write under pseudonym like Maureen Blackbottom or something so bitches is not suspecting.

 

Here is plot I've got: It's about a bitch, she don't have name yet. People say she is clever, but she never says anything clever or thinks anything clever. People say she is attractive, but then we never hear what they say behind her back. She is into this one dude, but he ain't interested in her. Bitches can empathise with this. Then she has this other dude dogging around after her, he has to be rich+famous+stud. Then the first dude is suddenly more interested (this is real life situation), and we can have her all conflicted bout this love triangle. I reckon I can easily drag this out for 100'000 words or so, her banging on about oh what shall i do??? All these dudes love me it's so difficults!!! I mean, if not I'll throw in some vampires or something.

 

Here is the kicker though, here is the reason why I'm committed to this enterprise. Check this! Once the housewife's have waded through this interminable nonsense, all 120'000 boring words of it, in the final chapter the two dudes will suddenly turn gay for each other and mug off the bird + tell the dumb bitch exactly how dumb+needy+self-absorbed she is, and by extension all the dumb bitches reading it! It will be ultimate kick in the teeth! I am lols just thinking of it!

[Bearsy]

Yo! I've wrote nearly whole chapter, is v.easy! I had to break off tho cos bitch is in a club and it reminded me bout a funny thing that happened the other night to my mate. I won't tell you his name cos is embarrassing, but let's just call him Mark Freeman from Four Oaks.

 

We was in a club right, in Birmingham, and I was showing the people of Birmingham my stellar dance moves when this bird comes up and unaccountably grabs hold of my mate and starts feeling on his arse. I say unaccountably, cos if she had to feel anyone's arse I'd of thought she'd want to feel mine, and also cos I felt like she was too good looking for the likes of him. Anyways, after a bit she fucks off, presumably to go wash her hands or something, and my mate is all smug and suddenly extra hyper like you are when birds is randomly hitting on you.

 

Couple of minutes later Mark is frantically patting his back pockets. "What is matter?" I say. He is gone white as sheet. "My wallet's gone!"

 

I was immediate lols. "Haha, your bird must've nicked it!"

 

I dunno what you would have done in this situation, I would prob put it down as lesson learnt bout not keeping wallet in back pocket, but not Mark. He insists we search whole club for the bird. I'm objecting that she's hardly likely to hang around, but we do it anyway.

 

We find her straight away in the upstairs bar. Immediately, I am sensing something is wrong. She is with some girl mates and sees us coming, but she seems pleased about it. She is smiling and nudging her mate as we walk over. I'm wondering how Mark is going to edge into what promises to be quite an awkward interview, but he is having no such qualms. "Did you take my wallet?" he demands immediately. It was pretty lols how her face went from smile, to confusion, to anger. She was v.angar. After some stout denials, we was both advised to f*ck off with bells on.

 

Anyway, my mate got a call today. They found his wallet in the gents.

Edited 3 September, 2013 by Bearsy

[Big Bad Bob]

Yo!

 

I never really wrote nothing longer than text message before i wrote bout 50 shades, but i was struck bout how bitches lap up the most unpalatable tripe!

 

I thought I would have a go! I'm not gonna try write a book that is funny or interesting cos I reckon that would be difficult and there is no market for funny+interesting books, but I thought i might employ the stuff i learned from 50 shades and write a book specifically for bitches to read. I reckon this would be v.easy!

 

I'm not joking tho, it will have to be v.boring book. If I tried to put in bits that were too obvious satire or funny then bitches will not be buying it!

 

Here is my plan, I will write under pseudonym like Maureen Blackbottom or something so bitches is not suspecting.

 

Here is plot I've got: It's about a bitch, she don't have name yet. People say she is clever, but she never says anything clever or thinks anything clever. People say she is attractive, but then we never hear what they say behind her back. She is into this one dude, but he ain't interested in her. Bitches can empathise with this. Then she has this other dude dogging around after her, he has to be rich+famous+stud. Then the first dude is suddenly more interested (this is real life situation), and we can have her all conflicted bout this love triangle. I reckon I can easily drag this out for 100'000 words or so, her banging on about oh what shall i do??? All these dudes love me it's so difficults!!! I mean, if not I'll throw in some vampires or something.

 

Here is the kicker though, here is the reason why I'm committed to this enterprise. Check this! Once the housewife's have waded through this interminable nonsense, all 120'000 boring words of it, in the final chapter the two dudes will suddenly turn gay for each other and mug off the bird + tell the dumb bitch exactly how dumb+needy+self-absorbed she is, and by extension all the dumb bitches reading it! It will be ultimate kick in the teeth! I am lols just thinking of it!

 

Are you going to have graphic sex scenes in this masterpiece, that's got to be there just to get the *****es hot for more.

 

Anyways, if you do, the blokes have got to be given her anal all the time, girls these days seem to think that that is alright but it's a bit gay actually. I digress, this constant anal would be hinting that they is really gay and maybe they is trying the straight life for a while with an average bird. They don't hit on the good lookers because they generally look after their snatches so why would you be going around to the other entrance and the ugly birds just don't bother with matters tonsorial downstairs so you wouldn't want to go anywhere near there lady parts.

 

I digress, got to have lots of sex scenes and oral.

[dubai_phil]

In other news today both Bearsy & Tokes have been outed.

 

We now know what they do for a living.

 

The Evidence is more damming than the damming evidence that is damming some geezer in Syria.

 

Our TMS heroes are??

 

MP's.

 

No not the Army types, the London types.

 

And here is the proof

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2410261/Parliaments-computers-used-log-porn-websites-300-000-times-year.html

 

Computers in Parliament have been used to access pornographic website 300,000 times in the last year, it emerged today.

The figure - which represents more than 800 per day - was released by Palace of Westminster IT chiefs in response to a freedom of information request.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2410261/Parliaments-computers-used-log-porn-websites-300-000-times-year.html#ixzz2drnmAeww

Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

 

They'd get my vote!

[Tokyo-Saint]

i like how you ignored bear's story even thou is was funny phil. I wish more people would do this more often. No doubt we will soon get the usual dullards coming along to wank off bear and buy his book. + 10 rep points!

[dubai_phil]

i like how you ignored bear's story even thou is was funny phil. I wish more people would do this more often. No doubt we will soon get the usual dullards coming along to wank off bear and buy his book. + 10 rep points!

 

What's funny? His book or the idea of Bear writing one? Somehow I get the feeling it'll be all Clarksonesque level humour but with the word Bewbs and a few more spurts of inspiration

[Bearsy]

Yeah I've been keep checking to see bout people enjoying my wallet story but all I'm getting is incomprehensible Phil posts! I was starting to think maybe is only funny if you know the principle character!

[Tokyo-Saint]

What's funny? His book or the idea of Bear writing one?

 

Bang! And another 10 points. That's two holes in one in a row Phil. That makes you the top Middle East poster 2013.

[Bearsy]

That clarkson jibe really burned! Srsly.

[dubai_phil]

Bang! And another 10 points. That's two holes in one in a row Phil. That makes you the top Middle East poster 2013.

 

Why thanks. That's me taking a beating from the other 3 of them on Friday when we go watch SRL.

 

Slips away gingerly off to check the Bungee Cords on the bed before heading to sleep.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Oh don't worry, I am laughing now bear. This could be the biggest failure to hit TMS since invismod flushed Barry's already locked 'fox is a witch' thread/turd from the mainboard to seep slowly down the muppet sewer. Bearsy clarkson strikes again.

[Bearsy]

Yeah that was mental. Flushing actual locked Barry turds in here is a f*cking cheek! They're not even trying to pretend that muppet shows is not saintsweb rubbish skip!

[Spudders]

Here is the kicker though, here is the reason why I'm committed to this enterprise. Check this! Once the housewife's have waded through this interminable nonsense, all 120'000 boring words of it, in the final chapter the two dudes will suddenly turn gay for each other and mug off the bird + tell the dumb bitch exactly how dumb+needy+self-absorbed she is, and by extension all the dumb bitches reading it! It will be ultimate kick in the teeth! I am lols just thinking of it!

I liked this and lol'd Bear +1 reps for book idea. But then you ruined it all by posting some ramblings about wallets, was that an idea for the book or some real life stuff that happened to you, sorry I mean to 'a friend' recently? -5 reps

 

Phil, what on earth are you on about in your post? -20 reps

 

+1 reps to anyone who read every word of phil's post, judging by the 1 liner paragraphs, I think it was written by the skate Neil Allen & Phil just stole it.

 

+1 reps to Tokyo for spotting the totally retarded moderation act of moving a locked thread to the muppet show, just delete it totally mods, just delete it.

[Tokyo-Saint]

I don't know what everyone is on about, it's the first time in ages I have actually understood one or even two of Phil's posts. They were pretty short, had 0 golf stories and got straight to the point.

 

Point 1) ignore bearsy

Point 2) mock bearsy for even thinking about writing a postcard never mind a book.

Point 3) call him an unfunny try hard (or was that another poster? Mmm? Anyway it happened)

Point 4) rename bearsy clarkson

 

All in all a good night for Golfing Phil. No camels had to be ****ed and he picked up a load of rep points

[Bearsy]

screw you guise! I have taken my wallet story to not606, we is soon finding out bout what is interesting story bout wallets and what is dumb story bout wallets! I confidently correct additional not606 reputations for my wallet story! For record, I currently have 8661 rep powers on not606, and tokyos has 0 rep powers!!!

[CB Saint]

screw you guise! I have taken my wallet story to not606, we is soon finding out bout what is interesting story bout wallets and what is dumb story bout wallets! I confidently correct additional not606 reputations for my wallet story! For record, I currently have 8661 rep powers on not606, and tokyos has 0 rep powers!!!

 

Don't they think ur are tokyo and vice versa on there? That means tokyo has the rep points.

 

Might have to go back to the motoring forum, jeremy.

[Bearsy]

Don't they think ur are tokyo and vice versa on there?

 

this is one of the worst things bout not606! It really rankles me that there is one small corner of the internet that will go to their grave thinking I'm a cowardly worm who is always tries to get people ban and has naked baths with his father-in-law.

[Tokyo-Saint]

It's cowerdly weasel that try and get people ban, bear. FFS get it right.

[Bearsy]

Sorry! I meant cowardly weasel who is always tries and get people ban. Apologies to all worms.

[Tokyo-Saint]

You think that is bad bear. I sent an email to a team of people that work for out biggest customer the other day. The first line read "Hi Gays". This being a cowardly weasel that tries to get people band AND steals bearsy's jokes is going too far. It is interfering with my real life. I am going to tell someone shit wallet story, pretend it is mine and see how it goes down.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Nah, it went down badly here too.

[Bearsy]

I sent an email to a team of people that work for out biggest customer the other day. The first line read "Hi Gays".

 

[Tokyo-Saint]

The evidence is mounting up against bear.

 

[Big Bad Bob]

http://holykaw.alltop.com/25-celebrities-back-in-the-good-old-days

 

The first image (which I'm not going to link to as it's NSFHBM) is for Bearclarksy because we know he likes that sort of thing...

 

The final image (replicated here) is for all hot blooded males

 

[dubai_phil]

The evidence is mounting up against bear.

 

 

Certainly is

 

 

Case proven M'Lud

[Big Bad Bob]

Certainly is

 

 

Case proven M'Lud

 

I think we're all suffering from some

, please note that the linked video is NSFW, just in case you is blind it's NSFW, don't open it if you want to keep your job/marriage (Spudgun!!)

[Tokyo-Saint]

It depends on where you work Bob, I watch and then PM on to bear much worse than that. But then I work at the bada bing and he works in Maccy Ds drive throu so have different rules to spud who works for Mi6 and bletch MFI.

[Big Bad Bob]

It depends on where you work Bob, I watch and then PM on to bear much worse than that. But then I work at the bada bing and he works in Maccy Ds drive throu so have different rules to spud who works for Mi6 and bletch MFI.

 

tis true

 

[Tokyo-Saint]

Yep

 

[Tokyo-Saint]

Hard core fan...

 

[Spudders]

Hi Tokyo, have you been lurking on my internet home rave forum again?, this was posted over there 3 days ago!! - you don't have to pay a fiver to post more than 3 times there either

http://www.its-all-about-oldskool.com/f28/plastic-till-i-die-34435/

 

 

Hard core fan...

 

[Tokyo-Saint]

Is your username Mike Audiohazard or is that justice Mike?

[Lazlo78]

:lol:

 

[Lazlo78]

Tough crowd, eh... not even a golf clap from Pap the Brony

[Lazlo78]

- 1 rep point for commenting on own post to bump it

[Lazlo78]

-1 rep point for giving myself -1 rep point

[Spudders]

Stop fucking about with the rep points Lazlo, this is serious stuff!

 

+2 rep points to offset those two negative ones you've just decided to allocate yourself without permission.

-1 rep point for allocating yourself rep points without permission

-1 rep point for bumping your own post

 

Also, I think we need to do some muppet style investigation into that Sam Douglas on twitter! Get on it muppets, what dirt can you dig? (rep points available for the best dirt!!)

[Lazlo78]

Please stay out of my implosion. I only want to talk to pap. And he needs to clap like a seal. If he doesn't, I'll jump into the thread called "Rebecca Swanston". It is currently 39 threads below this so I would instantly be smeared all over TMS. Happy cleaning, peeps!

 

[Tokyo-Saint]

Who is Sam Douglas Spud? Need an @ or I guess I could just look at your @ and see who you have been stalking. Seems like hard work thou

[Spudders]

Who is Sam Douglas Spud? Need an @ or I guess I could just look at your @ and see who you have been stalking. Seems like hard work thou

He's the guy that commented on the picture Lazios posted a few posts up. Deffo hard work doing investigations, but it's the sort of challenge that both Bletch & Bearsy relish, so may as well leave it to them

[Big Bad Bob]

He's the guy that commented on the picture Lazios posted a few posts up. Deffo hard work doing investigations, but it's the sort of challenge that both Bletch & Bearsy relish, so may as well leave it to them

 

He's @sammydyggers

[saintbletch]

He's the guy that commented on the picture Lazios posted a few posts up. Deffo hard work doing investigations, but it's the sort of challenge that both Bletch & Bearsy relish, so may as well leave it to them

 

Hi Gays! This is what I am know bout Sam Douglas and one of the things I am know bout Sam Douglas is that he is very bum friend of Jack Cork. His is also liking v unhealthy food and taking pictures of v unhealthy food.

 

 

As well as wanting to bfriend Jack Cork and eat v unhealthy food I is also know the following about Sam Douglas:

 

He thinks Trocadero Centre is S**t

He has friend called Andrew Scott Butlers

He lives in flat in Shaftesbury Avenue in London

 

This is what I know bout Sam Douglas.

[Spudders]

^^ Good work Bearsy, but you've stayed logged in using your bletch log in, so I'm gonna allocate the +5 reputations (one for each fact) to Bletchy account yo

[Tokyo-Saint]

Nice try bletch but you have to say "this is what I am investigating about sam douglas" not "know" if you want to be a weasel who tries to get other posters ban and steal bearsy's jokes, like me.