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The Ramirez Off Topic Thread


maysie

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  • 4 weeks later...

i love this video! someone sent it me cos we have a hi-voicer at work and i've been calling him kicked in the bollocks mate and the other day i was sent outside for lolling when he was trying to place stationary order

 

[video=youtube_share;eAH2e1Cg67w]

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Yeah course they do. That's why Golfing Phil goes to Bangkok (to bang cocks) and Ladyboy Phil moved to the Philippines (To fill up Ians). Keep up bear, these are simple forum histories.

 

Golfing Phil goes in order to shop at MBK and to buy his Fake Nike "Same colour as Tiger wears" golf Shirts for £2 instead of $100 over here.

 

We all know the best bar in Soi Cowboy is Country Roads. Not in The Seaview League but still a great Heavy Metal Cover band.

 

Nice trap laid there by Toke's and The Bear walked right into it.

 

There's only one thing you don't find in Cowboy....

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i love this video! someone sent it me cos we have a hi-voicer at work and i've been calling him kicked in the bollocks mate and the other day i was sent outside for lolling when he was trying to place stationary order

 

 

 

The guy with the high voice was only on the show to talk about the medical negligence which wrecked his vocal chords, and the interviewer still laughed. Trashed his career apparently.

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=HrMzJrLdu_Y

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Errrrm isn't it a comedy show and a bit of a satire on Kilroy type programmes? The bloke didn't really have his balls cut off by mistake, that only happened once and the poster involved is getting over it in the Alps.

 

Oh ****it. You've been on wiki and found that out just before me. Had me fooled. I need to get back on the main board, the bar is set a lot lower over there.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Last night, I was engaged in an epic encounter with a pair of insects.

 

A couple of flies had infiltrated the papcave by way of my open window. As daylight disappeared, the pair of them decided that landing and walking over my computer monitors was going to be their entertainment for the evening.

 

In recent years, I've taken a zero tolerance approach toward flies. I used to be very live and let live, attempt to subtly direct them to an open window, etc. No more. These bastards take the p!ss. Unfortunately, we had no fly killer in the house last night, so I was forced to take alternative measures.

 

One thing that people don't know about flies is that they don't like mouse pointers being underneath them. Computer mice are only a recent thing; no-one has done any serious work on the subject. Thanks to my battle last night; I can confirm that flies don't like the mouse pointer up 'em*.

 

Every time one of the flies landed on my screen, I moved the mouse pointer underneath the insect and wiggled it about. This would cause the fly to walk over the screen until eventually getting p!ssed off and flying off for a bit.

 

This went on for about half an hour before I got p!ssed off myself. This bastard cost me the opportunity to start around five conspiracy theory threads. After trying a number of disruptive tactics, it was clear that I needed more mouse pointer firepower, so I switched on the option to leave a pointer trail. This option is normally only used by old biddies who aren't very good at detecting motion. The shame of my actions still appalls me; but I got to bring more "boys" to each encounter.

 

At the time of writing, the flies seem to be either having a nap, or hopefully, are now wreaking havoc on the wider L7 environment, having escaped through the same window from whence they came.

 

btw, sorry to go off-topic, but I really hate the Gaston Ramirez song. Is that the best we could come up with? That Beauty and the Beast song is ripe for the altering, and would be unique.

 

* Windows tested only. Airbrushed Mac pointers might not be as offensive.

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i can sympathise pap! My main bedcave is up in loft conversion in my gaff and one time i opened up window and like 10'000 flies come buzzing in! Turns out they is called "cluster flies" and they gather round window frames in sinister fashion waiting for victims!

 

I used to be ok with insects too, i mean except spiders who is bastards, but i felt that having millions of flies buzzing about would interrupt my sleep patterns so i sprayed like a full can of raid in there + closed door. They didn't like that, pap! It's pretty sick when they've been chemical weaponised and they do their mad buzzing death throes on floor!

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The other thing I do is when wasps come in office I follow them round with ruler. If I can get one in air I get One Run. If i catch it good so it hits wall I get Four Runs. If it's head comes off that is Six. I ain't allowed to hit them when they is landed tho, that ain't cricket.

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See I don't mind spiders. They get the flies. Spiders are cool, and don't come into my fly hatred. They are valued eight-legged arachnid allies. I did enquire about getting them little uniforms, as to present a united front and coherent brand when dealing out justice in my house. However, the people at Lazer Schoolwear said they'd have to be custom-made, that the idea was ridiculous, and even if it were feasible, the garments wouldn't be machine washable.

 

Accordingly, I now dress as a spider.

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Last night, I was engaged in an epic encounter with a pair of insects.

 

A couple of flies had infiltrated the papcave by way of my open window. As daylight disappeared, the pair of them decided that landing and walking over my computer monitors was going to be their entertainment for the evening.

 

In recent years, I've taken a zero tolerance approach toward flies. I used to be very live and let live, attempt to subtly direct them to an open window, etc. No more. These bastards take the p!ss. Unfortunately, we had no fly killer in the house last night, so I was forced to take alternative measures.

 

One thing that people don't know about flies is that they don't like mouse pointers being underneath them. Computer mice are only a recent thing; no-one has done any serious work on the subject. Thanks to my battle last night; I can confirm that flies don't like the mouse pointer up 'em*.

 

Every time one of the flies landed on my screen, I moved the mouse pointer underneath the insect and wiggled it about. This would cause the fly to walk over the screen until eventually getting p!ssed off and flying off for a bit.

 

This went on for about half an hour before I got p!ssed off myself. This bastard cost me the opportunity to start around five conspiracy theory threads. After trying a number of disruptive tactics, it was clear that I needed more mouse pointer firepower, so I switched on the option to leave a pointer trail. This option is normally only used by old biddies who aren't very good at detecting motion. The shame of my actions still appalls me; but I got to bring more "boys" to each encounter.

 

At the time of writing, the flies seem to be either having a nap, or hopefully, are now wreaking havoc on the wider L7 environment, having escaped through the same window from whence they came.

 

btw, sorry to go off-topic, but I really hate the Gaston Ramirez song. Is that the best we could come up with? That Beauty and the Beast song is ripe for the altering, and would be unique.

 

* Windows tested only. Airbrushed Mac pointers might not be as offensive.

Can't you try the "mousepointer sheepdog" app, with a strategically positioned venus flytrap (dionaea muscipula) next to the screen? Job done.

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Can't you try the "mousepointer sheepdog" app, with a strategically positioned venus flytrap (dionaea muscipula) next to the screen? Job done.

 

I think I'm just going to go to TESCO and buy some fly killer.

 

I'm out of milk as well.

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Over the past few days, it has occurred to me that spicy food can be used to "time" your own digestive system.

 

According to some spicy chicken bites, I was able to deduce that mine takes around 14 hours.

 

Is that normal?

 

Is it a red/white meat thing? Has anyone eaten a lamb vindaloo lately and able to comment on the latter?

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When I was younger and working behind the student bar I used to have cheeseburger and chips and a pint of diet coke as me "staff food".

 

Could guarantee that 15mins later it would be making a solid exit!!

 

Coffee always get my system moving in the morning too..

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i'm not usually one to laugh at own jokes, but i could hardly breath just now i was lolling so hard!

 

it's the bit where that poor girl replies and he just goes "Interesting." and then starts posting loads of photos! Gets me every time!

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Sweetcorn is good control group pap cos it comes out untouched. In some cultures they simply rinse off + eat again.

 

On other hand i had madras Fri night + i reckon it went through in approx 90 minutes yo!

 

Sweetcorn is a very good suggestion for those who do not like spicy food. I am intrigued to learn of the rinse and repeat method. Which cultures do this?

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I'm loving that bear. I am also interested in the Cruzan Amphitheater.

 

I like the name Amphitheater and was thinking that we could use that instead of Dome. I will put this forward to official saints as an idea 'The Cortese Amphitheater' and see what they think.

 

For your info MLG, here are the plans

 

cruzan-amphitheatre-seating-chart.gif

 

 

47347-v1.jpg

qERQNi707-8.jpeg

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haha i was trying to think of who would have least possible interest in our stadium plans but MLG already has Celtic covered, so then i thought Justin Bieber fans but couldn't find a good forum. I think this should be long running saga, prob needs it's own thread yo!

 

The formula has to be the same every time:

 

  • First you ask question plausible to the forum ur on, but crucially we have to have an inkling where it's going. I.e. on Jesus forum you would say "What is the best place of worship?"
  • Then you wait for a "bite"
  • Then you unleash the full MLG in excruciating detail!

 

Everyone has to do one! Is mandatory!

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