tpbury Posted 20 August, 2012 Share Posted 20 August, 2012 We had a thread about arse wiping habits some time ago, now is the time to discuss a particular point about urinal behaviour,no, I am not talking about equidistance, glancing, though maybe tugging. There's a bloke at work who undoes his belt, unbuttons and fully unzips his trousers and adopts a semi squat position (presumably to avoid his trousers falling down) whilst taking a **** in the urinal. He then seems to take an undue length of time ridding the Japs eye of any excess liquid. Due to the 'no glance' rule, I don't know whether he is well hung or not. I do recall this behaviour when at primary school, often kids would let their trousers fall down, in order to not **** all over their clothes. I was shocked about the 'standing arse wipe' in the arse wipe thread, but can anyone enlighten me about this kind of ****ing behaviour? Is it something to do with having a big cock or being circumcised? I fall into neither category, but it's such a bloody performance, I wonder if it's a medical condition. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tpbury Posted 27 August, 2012 Author Share Posted 27 August, 2012 Can't believe there's over 100 views on this, yet it seems people feel uncomfortable about talking about weeing. So I am bumping my own pointless thread. Cmon, express yourselves! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 27 August, 2012 Share Posted 27 August, 2012 Does anyone tap their cock dry with toilet paper after a p*ss? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Cat Posted 27 August, 2012 Share Posted 27 August, 2012 I normally wipe mine on the trouser leg of the bloke next to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norwaysaint Posted 27 August, 2012 Share Posted 27 August, 2012 No, I use the hand towel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 27 August, 2012 Share Posted 27 August, 2012 Does anyone else tap their cock dry with toilet paper after a p*ss? edit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 27 August, 2012 Share Posted 27 August, 2012 sometimes in clubs they have a dude stood in the toilets with paper towels and he does it for you if you give him 50p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manuel Posted 27 August, 2012 Share Posted 27 August, 2012 You know you can often direct those hand dryer downwards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 27 August, 2012 Share Posted 27 August, 2012 Does anyone tap their cock dry with toilet paper after a p*ss? I usually drop mine into those new Dyson hand dryers tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 27 August, 2012 Share Posted 27 August, 2012 I usually drop mine into those new Dyson hand dryers tbh I tried that using a dyson vacuum cleaner. I wasnt having a wee though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 27 August, 2012 Share Posted 27 August, 2012 I tried that using a dyson vacuum cleaner. I wasnt having a wee though. What ? Through the bottom with those rotating brushes ? Thats a true pro right there guys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dimond Geezer Posted 27 August, 2012 Share Posted 27 August, 2012 Any more than 4 shakes is a w@nk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timebomb Posted 27 August, 2012 Share Posted 27 August, 2012 Any more than 4 shakes is a w@nk. It's funny, I learnt that one at school and still cant get it out of my head whenever I go to a public toilet and I'm 55. Maybe I should stop w4nking in the toilets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The9 Posted 29 August, 2012 Share Posted 29 August, 2012 Does anyone tap their cock dry with toilet paper after a p*ss? Yeah, since I got to about 34. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
svetigpung Posted 30 August, 2012 Share Posted 30 August, 2012 nowdays i do like a sit down pee. At home anyway. Not only is it more relaxing but gives me plenty of time to read and put replys on this forum....must go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Majestic Channon Posted 30 August, 2012 Share Posted 30 August, 2012 This is a life changer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 30 August, 2012 Share Posted 30 August, 2012 I stand at the urinal until somebody pushes the hand dryer. Then I let rip. I've been known to time my poos in pub toilets using the hand dryer as cover noise. Especially poos which are really farty. You get fewer comments from everyone else in the bog if the hand dryer is going. The hand dryer is my friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 31 August, 2012 Share Posted 31 August, 2012 I stand at the urinal until somebody pushes the hand dryer. Then I let rip. I've been known to time my poos in pub toilets using the hand dryer as cover noise. Especially poos which are really farty. You get fewer comments from everyone else in the bog if the hand dryer is going. The hand dryer is my friend. Too much information.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tpbury Posted 1 September, 2012 Author Share Posted 1 September, 2012 I stand at the urinal until somebody pushes the hand dryer. Then I let rip. I've been known to time my poos in pub toilets using the hand dryer as cover noise. Especially poos which are really farty. You get fewer comments from everyone else in the bog if the hand dryer is going. The hand dryer is my friend. Do you start wiping immediately if someone occupies the trap next door, or do you engage in a grim battle of wits in attempt to 'shame' them out before you? Has anyone left a trap at the exact same time as the person next door, having heard each other take a dump and then wiping? Especially in a a quiet toilet with no hand dryers going off? I couldn't cope with it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 1 September, 2012 Share Posted 1 September, 2012 I actually have the opposite policies! If I'm in the traps and someone walks in I start doing really loud fake farts you know like you do when you invert your hands with your palms over your cheeks and blow really hard! I keep doing it till the standee says something like "Dude... are you ok?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 1 September, 2012 Share Posted 1 September, 2012 This is a life changer I sent mine back. As you can see there is a design error. It looks good in the pictures but the wheel actually spins towards you and not away from you as was suggested in the image. I ended up with a clag-free crevis but a winnit-packed scrotum. £299.99 down the drain - and before you suggest it, I tried trading standards. They couldn't care less. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 1 September, 2012 Share Posted 1 September, 2012 I sent mine back. As you can see there is a design error. It looks good in the pictures but the wheel actually spins towards you and not away from you as was suggested in the image. I ended up with a clag-free crevis but a winnit-packed scrotum. £299.99 down the drain - and before you suggest it, I tried trading standards. They couldn't give a shlt. edit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 1 September, 2012 Share Posted 1 September, 2012 I sent mine back. As you can see there is a design error. It looks good in the pictures but the wheel actually spins towards you and not away from you as was suggested in the image. Can you not follow perfectly good diagrams? You're supposed to back pedal, just as the )) on the feet and knee show. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 1 September, 2012 Share Posted 1 September, 2012 Can you not follow perfectly good diagrams? You're supposed to back pedal, just as the )) on the feet and knee show. buctootim, The short answer is "no" I can't follow perfectly good diagrams. But that's not important here. The Clag-Gone didn't have a fixed wheel so pedalling backwards simply allowed little )) symbols to form around your feet and knees, without actually causing the wheel to rotate at all. The keen eyed among us will also spy the derailleur system employed on the Clag-Gone. I'm here to tell you that pedalling backward against a derailleur system is the act of a man soon to have oil on his fingers. But thanks for taking the time to offer advice. I feel your love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cheese on Toast Posted 1 September, 2012 Share Posted 1 September, 2012 Is ****ing on someone bad? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 1 September, 2012 Share Posted 1 September, 2012 Do you start wiping immediately if someone occupies the trap next door, or do you engage in a grim battle of wits in attempt to 'shame' them out before you? Has anyone left a trap at the exact same time as the person next door, having heard each other take a dump and then wiping? Especially in a a quiet toilet with no hand dryers going off? I couldn't cope with it. Wiping in pub toilets is a whole separate issue. Rarely is there any bog paper, and if there is, it's probably lying on the urine soaked floor. That's when the faithful hanky kicks in, and not to mention socks and boxers, should the need arise. I once chucked a shltty hanky out a bog window once in a dive club in Brighton. Apparently it landed in the beer garden. I didn't stick around to find out. Alternately you can use the flush water as a makeshift bidet. Takes a while though and your hands smell after. Anyone ever pooed in a urinal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint_in_munich Posted 1 September, 2012 Share Posted 1 September, 2012 There's a guy where I work who stands the urinal with his trousers and boxers round his ankles! Terrible shock to walk in and see an old guys bear rse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 1 September, 2012 Share Posted 1 September, 2012 There's a guy where I work who stands the urinal with his trousers and boxers round his ankles! Terrible shock to walk in and see an old guys bear rse. Bearsy has a bear arse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tpbury Posted 2 September, 2012 Author Share Posted 2 September, 2012 There's a guy where I work who stands the urinal with his trousers and boxers round his ankles! Terrible shock to walk in and see an old guys bear rse. There we are - is this considered any way normal - who grows up thinking this kind of behaviour is normal???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The9 Posted 5 September, 2012 Share Posted 5 September, 2012 Yeah, since I got to about 34. Though not in public loos. Only in cubicles or at home. This is by no means the worst thing time has done to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golden Balls Posted 5 September, 2012 Share Posted 5 September, 2012 Got to hate ****ing into a cold urinal or ****ing outside on a cold day when the yellow steam makes it way towards your face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tartan_saint Posted 5 September, 2012 Share Posted 5 September, 2012 Should be on the entrance to every Gents, ffs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tpbury Posted 6 September, 2012 Author Share Posted 6 September, 2012 Thanks Tartan, there's clearly an appetite for structure and rules in the urinal. And in the sh_i_tter. We have had two documented cases of unnecessary pant dropping. How can this be eliminated? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notnowcato Posted 6 September, 2012 Share Posted 6 September, 2012 Thanks Tartan, there's clearly an appetite for structure and rules in the urinal. And in the sh_i_tter. We have had two documented cases of unnecessary pant dropping. How can this be eliminated? Eliminated?? Surely you mean "Embraced"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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