SO16_Saint Posted 30 July, 2012 Share Posted 30 July, 2012 Thoughts? Do you do it? Do you not do it? Im not talking full on hitting, but a smack... I was smacked as a child, and I turned out ok. Just wondering what the general thought is nowadays. Got a little un and its easy to understand why you would, and wouldn't, smack your child. Probably just opened a can o worms, but that's what internet forums are for!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deano6 Posted 30 July, 2012 Share Posted 30 July, 2012 Yeah I'd give the baby a slap if he deserved it - why not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 30 July, 2012 Share Posted 30 July, 2012 used to, they hit me back now though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norwaysaint Posted 30 July, 2012 Share Posted 30 July, 2012 Yep, hitting, kicking, whatever. They are all good ways to teach right from wrong and to convince somebody you're right, although only when they're smaller than you. Obviously once they're bigger than you, they become right because they win the hitting, so it's best to try to hit them quite a bit when they're still small. Try to do it in places where it doesn't leave a visible mark though, that's one of the key skills of being a good parent. Also try to always use alternative words for hitting. Never say "I hit my children", make it sound more harmless and acceptable by using phrases like "a smack" or "cuff" or a particular favourite "a clip round the ear". Remember, you can't convince other grown ups you're right or get them to do what you want by hitting them, so do it with your kids instead, it'll teach them valuable life lessons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 30 July, 2012 Share Posted 30 July, 2012 I'm all for it. If a young child doesn't respond to verbal argument, sometimes the only way to get your point accross is a short sharp smack. I think the line to be drawn is very simple; It should be painful but not cause any injury or marks to the child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint_in_munich Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 My Dad hit myself and my brother when we were kids cause we were bstads, if he had not then we would have both been a nightmare in later life!! So I yhink it did us good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamilton Saint Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 This oft-expressed argument that 'My parents hit me and it never did me any harm is nonsense' - especially when it's followed by the statement 'So now I hit my kids, too.' The harm it did you was to persuade you that it was a legitimate and effective method of discipline. Think about it; the worst experiences you had in childhood with ineffective teaching were the ones where you were physically abused. [some of you may be too young to have had teachers who hit you, pulled your sideburns, threw chalk at you, etc.] The best discipline you received was not based on punishment and hitting at all, it was based on love, respect and knowledge. Good teaching and good parenting is based on respect, not fear and punishment. And, of course, pyschological abuse is even worse than physical abuse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint_Donovan Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 I was all for smacking before my child was born, I was smacked like most children and it did me no harm and I turned out just fine, but as soon as my little boy was born i just couldn't do it, it feels like a gross abuse of my size and strength and I felt like the school playground bully. Also I found my child looking back at me with pure fear too much, I don't want that sort of relationship with him, why would I want him to be scared of me? Surely the better was is to gain respect from your child and install morals and hope for the best? I wonder how children who are scared of their parents are affected when the grown up and go out on their own into the adult world? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 I used to get the wooden spoon across my bum or legs if i was really naughty. I'm sure all the cool parents will be on here today to tell us all how wrong it is and how harmful it is to the children but to use evidence from one their favourite papers this appears not to be the case. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/6926823/Smacked-children-more-successful-later-in-life-study-finds.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thedelldays Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 The term kids or children is so un PC it's "young person" FFS I believe that if your 5 year old is totally un controllable, you should sit them down and discuss it, ffs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulsfc Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Well as a self confessed liberal leftie i think smacking is.....ok. There is a difference between smacking and beating your child. I don't think it should ever be the first choice of discipline or even a regular one but there are certain circumstances where it can be necessary. For example, what if your child ran into or near a road? Do you try and reason with them and hope they understand the dangers or perhaps a short sharp shock that lets them know in no uncertain terms that it isn't acceptable? Anyway it's a personal choice (i have on very rare occassions smacked my daughters bum) and whether you choose to or not, it really isn't anyone else's business how you discipline your own child. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CB Saint Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 I was smacked (all of it desevered) and turn out ok, my wife wasn't and turned out ok. There is neither a right or wrong answer to this IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazlo78 Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 I was never hit as a child and I would never do it to my children - but then again that's probably a cultural thing. Over here it's a big no-no even for our parents generation... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1885 Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Never was slapped as a child and never would slap mine. It's even forbidden in Germany ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BadgerBadger Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 I was smacked with a belt and I grew up ok but I did so in spite of it not because of it. As such I don't smack my kids, the tone of my voice and removing any privileges is what I use to dish out any discontent. As for the Telegraph article - poppycock, experts once thought the world was flat so I wouldn't read too much into that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank's cousin Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Best example reallly is how many kids who are abused (in the extreme) go on to abuse others - not all obviously but there is an established link - how much harm a smack does or not is IMHO irrelevent - especially as there are other non violent ways of diciplining children. Time change and things evolve, we learn new ways of doing things that are less draconian and society improves. It is just as easy to install respect, a sense of right and wrong in children, without smacking. Yes, there are times (all children do wrong, or scare the living daylights out of us by running into the road etc) when our own emotions, especially if we were smacked as kids, make us feel justified in a similar response, but it does not make it right. When I see my 7 year old look frightened just because I have shouted (which I hate doin, but we are human afterall) - I immediately regret it, Would hate to think how scared she would be if she knew I would hit her - will never happen in my household. It is ultimately, whatever some say a bullying tactic - we would be using something intended to cause pain (albeit in most cases minor) as a method of control, and for me that is the definition of bullying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 One of my kids has been slapped twice in 16 years. The other just once. Don't think it's too bad to be used as a last resort. Good for the kids to know you've got that in your locker, but realistically, with the ages they are now, extremely unlikely to happen again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Sometimes in a safety-critical situation nothing else will work, but now that I'm old I wish I hadn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
View From The Top Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Eldest has had his legs slapped once, as has both daughters. In all three instances it's been used as the final sanction after after biting a sibling when they were younger. Not into physical punishment & would never dream of doing it now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Best example reallly is how many kids who are abused (in the extreme) go on to abuse others - not all obviously but there is an established link - how much harm a smack does or not is IMHO irrelevent - especially as there are other non violent ways of diciplining children. Time change and things evolve, we learn new ways of doing things that are less draconian and society improves. It is just as easy to install respect, a sense of right and wrong in children, without smacking. Yes, there are times (all children do wrong, or scare the living daylights out of us by running into the road etc) when our own emotions, especially if we were smacked as kids, make us feel justified in a similar response, but it does not make it right. When I see my 7 year old look frightened just because I have shouted (which I hate doin, but we are human afterall) - I immediately regret it, Would hate to think how scared she would be if she knew I would hit her - will never happen in my household. It is ultimately, whatever some say a bullying tactic - we would be using something intended to cause pain (albeit in most cases minor) as a method of control, and for me that is the definition of bullying. Is it Frank? I mean does it really hurt? Im not talking about giving kids a thrashing of course but a slap on the back of the legs or bum as a method of punishment. From my memory of it as a child it wasn't so much the pain of being hit, it was the fact that my parents had humilated me in public by doing that. As for bullying, again, really? or is it actaully a form of control and discipline? If it's bully then surely every time a policeman raises a truncheon that too is bullying. how about telling criminals if they commit an offence they'll be jailed? Is that also bullying or or is just a method of control? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The9 Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 I remember the fear of "the stick" I had in my childhood. It was always a threat, but I'm pretty sure my mum used it once and completely lost it with me. Can't say it's really formed much of an opinion for me on whether other people should or shouldn't, I just know what I wouldn't do, and I'd have worked that out without getting whacked myself anyway. I can see the use of a smack in extreme circumstances, but as I don't have kids I haven't yet had to build up that tendency to let things go that parents need and the wife generally is a lot more laid back than me re: discipline generally (as well as 12 years younger and brought up in a completely different environment) so I doubt it would actually happen in our house if kids pitch up at some point. Being exposed to my near 3 year old niece briefly on occasions does make me wonder how the hell most parents keep it together though, and she's pretty good most of the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank's cousin Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Is it Frank? I mean does it really hurt? Im not talking about giving kids a thrashing of course but a slap on the back of the legs or bum as a method of punishment. From my memory of it as a child it wasn't so much the pain of being hit, it was the fact that my parents had humilated me in public by doing that. As for bullying, again, really? or is it actaully a form of control and discipline? If it's bully then surely every time a policeman raises a truncheon that too is bullying. how about telling criminals if they commit an offence they'll be jailed? Is that also bullying or or is just a method of control? It creates a sense of fear in the child - until they are old enough hit back... is that really what you want for your kids? In the past we did not know any better, but have moved on. And how can you compare ploice control of violent criminals with smacking kids is beyond me, that anology is simply way off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 It creates a sense of fear in the child - until they are old enough hit back... is that really what you want for your kids? In the past we did not know any better, but have moved on. And how can you compare ploice control of violent criminals with smacking kids is beyond me, that anology is simply way off. Nonsense. It sets boundries. Do this and you'll fine, overstep the mark and you'll be punished. It's controlling your child. I was smacked as a child and i wasn't frightened of my parents but i know what i could and couldn't get away with at a very young age. I would never dream of laying a finger on my parents now or at anytime in the past. From what you're saying i should now be smashing my dad all over Southamtpon General everytime he upsets me given as that is where he is at the moment, totally unable to protect himself and i can hit back. It's how he taught me how to act, yes? The analogy is the same. Behave and you wont be punished, misbehave and you will be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 It creates a sense of fear in the child - until they are old enough hit back... is that really what you want for your kids? In the past we did not know any better, but have moved on. And how can you compare ploice control of violent criminals with smacking kids is beyond me, that anology is simply way off. Which is all fair enough, except loads of people who are responding on this have had a slap as part of their upbringing. I took plenty of slaps when I was a kid ( vast majority of them thoroughly deserved ). I don't go down to my mum's gaff fearful that she's going to fill me in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Which is all fair enough, except loads of people who are responding on this have had a slap as part of their upbringing. I took plenty of slaps when I was a kid ( vast majority of them thoroughly deserved ). I don't go down to my mum's gaff fearful that she's going to fill me in. Are you not tempted to iron her out now though, as you are big enough to hit back? This is what Frank appears to be claiming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raging Bull Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 My 3 year old called my bluff when I took him up to his room after he kicked me. The little bugger told me to go away and stayed in there for 15 mins & refused to come out till I apologised, WTF! Wouldn't hit him though cos he'll think it's okay to carry on doing the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 (edited) Are you not tempted to iron her out now though, as you are big enough to hit back? This is what Frank appears to be claiming. Oddly enough, no. However, I do know parents who have overused corporal punishment and have got some very nasty surprises when their kids hit their teens. Edited 31 July, 2012 by pap corporate to corporal :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Oddly enough, no. However, I do know parents who have overused corporate punishment and have got some very nasty surprises when their kids hit their teens. Exactly. Some people fail to understand the difference between a correction slap and smashing the sh*t out of kids. Frank being one of them is his first line of his post was about abuse. There is a big difference betwen abuse and discipline. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 My 3 year old called my bluff when I took him up to his room after he kicked me. The little bugger told me to go away and stayed in there for 15 mins & refused to come out till I apologised, WTF! Wouldn't hit him though cos he'll think it's okay to carry on doing the same. Yeah, think you handled that completely wrong. Punishment would have been mandated for that. Not saying that slapping your kid is the answer, but if you're being dressed down by a 3 year old ( and taking it ) I reckon you're setting yourself up for real problems later on. All imo, of course. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 My daughter found her 3 year old son sitting on the bottom step of the stairs yesterday. She asked him what he was doing and he said 'I'm on the naughty step Mummy because I threw a ball in the sitting room and I'm not allowed to throw a ball indoors'. So then she told him he was a good boy for being honest but he decided he hadn't had a long enough punishment and stayed there a while longer. She had to walk away so that he didn't see her laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raging Bull Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Yeah, think you handled that completely wrong. Punishment would have been mandated for that. Not saying that slapping your kid is the answer, but if you're being dressed down by a 3 year old ( and taking it ) I reckon you're setting yourself up for real problems later on. All imo, of course. Should have been a little clearer, I didn't say sorry, just threatened to take away his current favourite toy for a day unless he said sorry and calmed down. Works every time. He is however quite boisterous and loves rough and tumble, so we're currently teaching him that playings ok (& youre not hurting anyone) but using it to get your point across is a stella drinkers past time. It's just frustration. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gambol2K9 Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Nonsense. It sets boundries. Do this and you'll fine, overstep the mark and you'll be punished. It's controlling your child. I was smacked as a child and i wasn't frightened of my parents but i know what i could and couldn't get away with at a very young age. I would never dream of laying a finger on my parents now or at anytime in the past. From what you're saying i should now be smashing my dad all over Southamtpon General everytime he upsets me given as that is where he is at the moment, totally unable to protect himself and i can hit back. It's how he taught me how to act, yes? The analogy is the same. Behave and you wont be punished, misbehave and you will be. Kinda ironic seeing how some of your posts seem to suggest you see yourself as a bit of a bad boy football hooligan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turkish Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 (edited) Kinda ironic seeing how some of your posts seem to suggest you see yourself as a bit of a bad boy football hooligan. Where are these? And what's ironic about it? I'm confused, it looks like your suggesting I should beat up my parents and we should let all children and criminals run riot, I'm sure you aren't so please explain. Edited 1 August, 2012 by Turkish Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 does taking their TV/laptop/phone away work as an ultimate punishment? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
View From The Top Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 does taking their TV/laptop/phone away work as an ultimate punishment? Does in my house. Remove ipad/xbox live for the nipper is nearly as bad as removing football/cricket privileges (THE ULTIMATE) & for the daughters it's the threat of tearing up their One Direction tickets. It's about being consistent & my kids know the boundaries. My nipper, who I adore & do everything with, was warned on one occasion that if he didn't behave for his grandmother whilst my wife & I were away for a few days, his birthday party would be cancelled. His behaviour had been poor for a few months. We went away, he played up & party cancelled. It was a lesson well learned by him & I've not had a minutes trouble since. All three of my kids have had the same mantra since birth & I've stuck to it; "good boys & girls get treats & naughty boys & girls get nothing". Hard work & effort is rewarded be it at school, where they excel, at home or on the sports field & if they throw a dicky fit in the home that mum or dad will cave if then they are sorely disappointed & nor do we cave into pester power. I've three lovely, polite & well balanced kids who we are very proud of & we are convinced it's because of the clear boundaries & guidelines they've been set. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The9 Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Where are these? They're in most of the threads which are entitled something like "[Random] Away match [1983]" or "Soul Cellar" usually. Have you got a selective memory then ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The9 Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Does in my house. Remove ipad/xbox live for the nipper is nearly as bad as removing football/cricket privileges (THE ULTIMATE) & for the daughters it's the threat of tearing up their One Direction tickets. It's about being consistent & my kids know the boundaries. My nipper, who I adore & do everything with, was warned on one occasion that if he didn't behave for his grandmother whilst my wife & I were away for a few days, his birthday party would be cancelled. His behaviour had been poor for a few months. We went away, he played up & party cancelled. It was a lesson well learned by him & I've not had a minutes trouble since. All three of my kids have had the same mantra since birth & I've stuck to it; "good boys & girls get treats & naughty boys & girls get nothing". Hard work & effort is rewarded be it at school, where they excel, at home or on the sports field & if they throw a dicky fit in the home that mum or dad will cave if then they are sorely disappointed & nor do we cave into pester power. I've three lovely, polite & well balanced kids who we are very proud of & we are convinced it's because of the clear boundaries & guidelines they've been set. Makes perfect sense, but how did you deal with screaming below-age-of-discussion kids at the time ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
View From The Top Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Makes perfect sense, but how did you deal with screaming below-age-of-discussion kids at the time ? Repetition & reinforcement, remaining patient and both being consistent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Does in my house. Remove ipad/xbox live for the nipper is nearly as bad as removing football/cricket privileges (THE ULTIMATE) & for the daughters it's the threat of tearing up their One Direction tickets. It's about being consistent & my kids know the boundaries. My nipper, who I adore & do everything with, was warned on one occasion that if he didn't behave for his grandmother whilst my wife & I were away for a few days, his birthday party would be cancelled. His behaviour had been poor for a few months. We went away, he played up & party cancelled. It was a lesson well learned by him & I've not had a minutes trouble since. All three of my kids have had the same mantra since birth & I've stuck to it; "good boys & girls get treats & naughty boys & girls get nothing". Hard work & effort is rewarded be it at school, where they excel, at home or on the sports field & if they throw a dicky fit in the home that mum or dad will cave if then they are sorely disappointed & nor do we cave into pester power. I've three lovely, polite & well balanced kids who we are very proud of & we are convinced it's because of the clear boundaries & guidelines they've been set. I don't agree with a lot of what you say VFTT but I am with you 100% here. Perfect parenting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norwaysaint Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 It's illegal here and it simply isn't done. I think people over here find it pretty barbaric that English parents do it. They seem to manage to raise children perfectly well here without hitting them, so all of the comments that sometimes it's necessary clearly don't bear up. It is clearly true that it is absolutely possible to set boundaries, to reprimand children or to make children aware that something is wrong or dangerous. I understand that many people think that hitting children doesn't do them any harm (although I don't think it sets a good example to them about how to solve an issue), but if you have the evidence in front of you that that you don't need to hit your children to discipline them ever, why on Earth would you keep doing it? Somebody made a comment about sitting an unruly five year old down and discussing things with them, I'm not sure if it was meant to be flippant, but of course you can do this. my youngest is four and that's how we've always done it since she was two. I taught primary school for years and never had discipline problems and never felt the need to hit a child, it just isn't ever necessary, so why do it? It seems like a communication failure on the part of the parent, that the child suffers for. This idea that you it's ok to do it because your parents did isn't really good enough, it's evident now that you don't need to, so why carry on? Hopefully in the future hitting children will become illegal in Britain too and those parents who resort to hitting will have to learn some new parenting skills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joesaint Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Do not do it, we use the 'naughty step' the age is how long - 3 years old - 3 mins. It works, you have to put them straight back if they move away, no talking because they are looking for attention, the time starts when behaviour is acceptable. After they have to say sorry and explain what they have done wrong so they understand. Takes a bit of time to start but works. Bad behaviour can from a lack of attention, hence play up more when you try to deal with it. Always praise the good behaviour. Children do like praise, but if good behaviour is not reinforced (child given no attention) they may seek attention in other ways - just look at the yobs who look for a fight and ask yourself "did they get much attention from parents". I was smacked, did me no harm, but I can't say it did me any good, my parents we very good and that was just the way it was! Hope this was usefull Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joesaint Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 PS, also though it was illegal esp because some parents who may be pretty stupid might think it is OK and be over the top with it! Not sure if you know about management, but everything seems to be around positive reinforcement. (although if bad behaviour is not sorted, the end result willl be just as bad I guess) Golden rule actually: Teach right from wrong Be consistant!!!!! Important Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazlo78 Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 It's illegal here and it simply isn't done. I think people over here find it pretty barbaric that English parents do it. They seem to manage to raise children perfectly well here without hitting them, so all of the comments that sometimes it's necessary clearly don't bear up. It is clearly true that it is absolutely possible to set boundaries, to reprimand children or to make children aware that something is wrong or dangerous. I understand that many people think that hitting children doesn't do them any harm (although I don't think it sets a good example to them about how to solve an issue), but if you have the evidence in front of you that that you don't need to hit your children to discipline them ever, why on Earth would you keep doing it? Somebody made a comment about sitting an unruly five year old down and discussing things with them, I'm not sure if it was meant to be flippant, but of course you can do this. my youngest is four and that's how we've always done it since she was two. I taught primary school for years and never had discipline problems and never felt the need to hit a child, it just isn't ever necessary, so why do it? It seems like a communication failure on the part of the parent, that the child suffers for. This idea that you it's ok to do it because your parents did isn't really good enough, it's evident now that you don't need to, so why carry on? Hopefully in the future hitting children will become illegal in Britain too and those parents who resort to hitting will have to learn some new parenting skills. Illegal in Denmark since 1996 and I wholeheartedly support your views. There's so much more to parenting than excerting control over your children... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergei Gotsmanov Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 It's illegal here and it simply isn't done. I think people over here find it pretty barbaric that English parents do it. They seem to manage to raise children perfectly well here without hitting them, so all of the comments that sometimes it's necessary clearly don't bear up. It is clearly true that it is absolutely possible to set boundaries, to reprimand children or to make children aware that something is wrong or dangerous. I understand that many people think that hitting children doesn't do them any harm (although I don't think it sets a good example to them about how to solve an issue), but if you have the evidence in front of you that that you don't need to hit your children to discipline them ever, why on Earth would you keep doing it? Somebody made a comment about sitting an unruly five year old down and discussing things with them, I'm not sure if it was meant to be flippant, but of course you can do this. my youngest is four and that's how we've always done it since she was two. I taught primary school for years and never had discipline problems and never felt the need to hit a child, it just isn't ever necessary, so why do it? It seems like a communication failure on the part of the parent, that the child suffers for. This idea that you it's ok to do it because your parents did isn't really good enough, it's evident now that you don't need to, so why carry on? Hopefully in the future hitting children will become illegal in Britain too and those parents who resort to hitting will have to learn some new parenting skills. That is all well and good but the State has absolutely no role to play in how I bring my children up. You bring your chidren up how you want and I will bring mine up how I think is best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoda Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 I got my share of hidings when I was a kid. my kids are eight and six and I've never hit them - there are other, better ways to teach them and I don't mean mental cruelty either. my view is if I hit/terrorise them I have failed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazlo78 Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 That is all well and good but the State has absolutely no role to play in how I bring my children up. You bring your chidren up how you want and I will bring mine up how I think is best. In principle I agree that you should choose for yourself how to bring up your children, but it should also be done within a frame of what your society finds acceptable... So of course the state as a representative of society has a role to play! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergei Gotsmanov Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 In principle I agree that you should choose for yourself how to bring up your children, but it should also be done within a frame of what your society finds acceptable... So of course the state as a representative of society has a role to play! I am sure that in Nazi Germany or North Korea the State had different definitions of what is acceptable. I am responsible for my children and not the State. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hamilton Saint Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 That is all well and good but the State has absolutely no role to play in how I bring my children up. You bring your chidren up how you want and I will bring mine up how I think is best. Yes, granted, but the state does have a duty - a legal obligation - to intervene when children are being abused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergei Gotsmanov Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Yes, granted, but the state does have a duty - a legal obligation - to intervene when children are being abused. Of course it does but in my opinion identifying when a child is being abused and when they are being disciplined is quite straight forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norwaysaint Posted 31 July, 2012 Share Posted 31 July, 2012 Yet there is something odd about having a choice of discipline methods and choosing the one that involves hitting a child, when it's clearly not necessary. I think in fifty years time people will be amazed that it was legal anywhere in the civilised world in the 21st century. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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