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Dumb things people done to get banned or whatever!

Bearsy

By Bearsy,
in The Muppet Show

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Tokyo-Saint

Tokyo-Saint

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I'm now on 6 for calling Dalek a ****ing ****

 

Time to cough up another £5 and open another new account dune. Call this one UKIP or something do we don't have to waste time investigating again. Me and bear lead busy lives ya know, havent got time to sus out who is dune and who is dog etc.

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notnowcato

notnowcato

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I didn't see a satisfactory answer to the question about where you find the bloody things.

 

Call Cheese a **** and wait and see. Ah, maybe not the best example as you may expect some leniency with that one. Try Just**** the mod instead but do it on the main board.

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scotty

scotty

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Call Cheese a **** and wait and see. Ah, maybe not the best example as you may expect some leniency with that one. Try Just**** the mod instead but do it on the main board.

 

 

Personally, I'd like an uncensored no-holds-barred unmoderated board, perhaps called "The REAL muppet show", only registered members allowed, no swear filter, a disclaimer on the page etc, no restrictions on images/links posted, the only ban being any personal info about posters. That way we could all just sling whatever mud we like at each other with little or no fear of forum reprisals from the likes of that c*nt deppo or his slant-eyed sidekick tokyo.

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notnowcato

notnowcato

Posted
Posted
Personally, I'd like an uncensored no-holds-barred unmoderated board, perhaps called "The REAL muppet show", only registered members allowed, no swear filter, a disclaimer on the page etc, no restrictions on images/links posted, the only ban being any personal info about posters. That way we could all just sling whatever mud we like at each other with little or no fear of forum reprisals from the likes of that c*nt deppo or his slant-eyed sidekick tokyo.

 

Keep it on topic, you ******* ****

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Bearsy

Bearsy

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Also the other thing i want to know bout is if Dune Vista gets his £5 back or if that is creamed off straight into the curry night fund. Also when you next have curry night can i come not in official Moderation capacity but as like Fan On The Board. Also i will provide ambiences... i will be like "Mooderator"! Also can I bring a date (tokyos)

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SB

SB

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Also the other thing i want to know bout is if Dune Vista gets his £5 back or if that is creamed off straight into the curry night fund. Also when you next have curry night can i come not in official Moderation capacity but as like Fan On The Board. Also i will provide ambiences... i will be like "Mooderator"! Also can I bring a date (tokyos)

 

Dangerous, remember what happened to Keith, next thing you know you'll be stood at turnstile A.

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SB

SB

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Who is this Keith and when did he date tokyos?

 

Keith didn't date Tokyos, Keith dated Amy, main mod of saintsforever and chef ***** to ex Chairman wilde and Co, surely you know this Bear? although I don't know if Tokyos dated Amy at some point via PM? maybe Dune was writing to Amy and a saintsweb mod got jel? Conspiracy.

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PhilippineSaint

PhilippineSaint

Posted
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Also the other thing i want to know bout is if Dune Vista gets his £5 back or if that is creamed off straight into the curry night fund. Also when you next have curry night can i come not in official Moderation capacity but as like Fan On The Board. Also i will provide ambiences... i will be like "Mooderator"! Also can I bring a date (tokyos)

 

Have you rescued him from Whitey Grandads dungeon cellar then? and what will you tell your new paramour Sharon the goat? or will it be a lovely threesome as we know your into them :)

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Tokyo-Saint

Tokyo-Saint

Posted
Posted

Not posted much in the last week as I have been on holiday with Turkish, Charming man, Sour Mash and Griffo.

 

On the first night over a nice Meze and a couple of Ozzos, we both agreed to take a week off from the spaz board and not post at all. It appears we both cheated a little by logging in on our iphones probably while releasing the afore mentioned meze back into the wilds of Cyprus.

 

However, I am going to need a briefing to catch up on a couple of points:

 

1) What is this game show?

2) Is Whitey Granddad as kind as he sounds? I am sure he will be a more considerate lover than Bear.

3) Since when did SB use one of his 3 precious posts to post on the muppet show. Is it because he missed me on the main board and came looking for me here?

4) What does paramour mean? Is it anything to do with the game show I missed?

5) Is dune now gone forever? If so what happened?

 

Many thanks

 

Tokyos

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Bearsy

Bearsy

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Hi Tokyos! Glad your back or whatever it's been kicking off big-style here!

 

Updates!

 

1) What is this game show?

 

It's in the Lounges it was like a Maths thread and was bout people trying to win you or a goats depending on their sexual preferences

 

2) Is Whitey Granddad as kind as he sounds? I am sure he will be a more considerate lover than Bear.

 

Whitey Grandad is called Whitey Grandad cos he has white hair and not, as we previously assumed, cos his grandchildren was black.

 

3) Since when did SB use one of his 3 precious posts to post on the muppet show. Is it because he missed me on the main board and came looking for me here?

 

I dunno. While you was away he was getting a bit above himself and mugging you off and stuff. Goes all quiet when you get back tho!

 

4) What does paramour mean? Is it anything to do with the game show I missed?

 

It's a perfectly normal everyday word! Dunno why bletch is busting my balls for knowing stuff bout stuff! I've read books! I've been reading the entire works of P.G.Wodehouse since I was like 14, I'm trying to slow down tho cos there's only so many and I want them to last my whole life. I read one chapter per week!

 

5) Is dune now gone forever? If so what happened?

 

As ever, the bannings is clouded in mysteries! It took me like 3 months to find out bout dogs, I imagine it's gonna be the same deal here. I might pm justmikes! He seems more friendly or whatever!

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Tokyo-Saint

Tokyo-Saint

Posted
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Cheers for the update bear, this muppet board thing is a full time job, take any time off and you come back with a new granddad!

 

I am not worried about SB, all you got to do while he is mugging you off is ask him some questions, like "why" "what" etc byt the time he has explained what he thinks you/I are (usually a d!ckhead) and why he thinks so, he has run out of posts. At this point you can mug him right off and he has to take it for 24 hours. No way he will ever splash out £5 as he is a crack head and needs every penny he can get to buy dope from dirty Tony (allegedly).

 

Bletch should know by now that you listen to radio 4, read the Sunday time or telegraph or whatever (and not just for the arty pics of titz) and are actually an intellectual. He thinks that just because he noticed that dune always spelt dune with a small d, he has a monopoly (not the game) on big words. We have vocabs too innit!

 

I did see that thread but as soon as I saw the title about maths, I thought it was a bit heavy to read while making a meze. Don't need anything to put me off my stride.

 

One good thing about POL is that they have a thread saying where everyone has gone a why. Could you speak with your mate just Mike and get him to sort the same thing out here? It would be good if we knew who was banned and especially why. This always gives me some lols.

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Tokyo-Saint

Tokyo-Saint

Posted
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By the way, forgot to say, while I was away Tadanari and me were messing about on these jet-skis, when he started to get lippy, going on about how good Korea was and how the New Forrest didn't have any dogs any more and the ponies tasted bad and stuff. So I cut him up and made him crash into a paragliding boat causing him to fly up into the air only to be saved by the Dutch girl and her parachute. Her boyfriend wasn't happy but that was Tadanari's problem.

 

Anyway, result of it all was he had to spend a couple of days in the hospital recovering.

 

Don't tell anyone on the main board as they go mental about that kind of stuff.

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saintbletch

saintbletch

Posted
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Not posted much in the last week as I have been on holiday with Turkish, Charming man, Sour Mash and Griffo.

It's nice that you pretend you've been away Tokyo-Saint. But we know exactly what happened to you at the clumsy paws of the bear.

 

1) What is this game show?

 

Well it involved a maths game show that the bear entered. It was basically the Monty Hall problem and despite being erudite and well-read with the Times or Telegraph or whatever, the stupid kodiak left you in the boot of his car which later got given away as one of the prizes on the game show. The booby prize on the show was a goat - called Sharon - a good looking goat called Sharon if I'm a judge.

 

Anyway, all that anyone had to do to win the car was demonstrate a rudimentary grasp of conditional probability. But as GCSE probability isn't covered in the first 4 Jeeves and Wooster books, Bearsy lost the car. (Although I think Gussie Fink-Nottle did discuss naive Bayes classification with Geeves in book six if memory serves.)

 

As you were in the boot of the car, Bearsy lost you too - but won a goat - a good looking goat called sharon. And as Whitey Grandad knew the answer, he got the car and found you tied up in the boot. Naked as the day you were born, sporting a gimp mask, a cheeky grin and with an unnaturally high level of rohypnol in your blood. You are now Whitey Grandad's.

 

Three points to add.

 

1) Bear actually said that he already had a car but didn't have a goat, leading some observers to conclude that he would rather 'have' the goat than 'have' you. If you know what I mean.

 

2) You were lucky that PhilippineSaint didn't win the car. If he had then you'd be heading to a lady boy clinic in Manilla to, well how can I put this...

 

...PhilippineSaint wasn't expecting you virgo intacta, but he did want to make sure that you hadn't been 'intimately damaged' by your violently passionate relationship with the big bear.

 

As such, he had a 'female' doctor with an Adam's apple the size of my fist waiting on standby - clutching a slightly soiled knitting needle with white knuckles, she was waiting to darn your dirtbox. (The perennial perforated perineum.)

 

3) The most upsetting part though is that, and I'm actually choking up telling you this, I'm not actually sure that Whitey Grandad 'wants' you. Not in a biblical sense. Well, not in any other sense for that matter.

 

Sorry mate. I reckon the bear's gotta a lot of making up to do.

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Bearsy

Bearsy

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Also that whole post bletch just done was loools! He's one of my favourites and luckily i'm in the market for a new b!tch! Yo bletch what would it take to bring you bear-side? There's many benefits! You get a new avatar f.o.c. soon as i get it back from Tokyos, you get pornographic pms sent to you on a bi-sexual basis. Also, bum sex.

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saintbletch

saintbletch

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Virgo Intacta ?

 

You can see from the Avatar Big Bad Bruin has ruined poor Tokyo.

 

I was going to get him seen to so that he could possibly have a good beer and curry, Then fart without the high probability of having to carry spare under crackers with him for the rest of his life.

 

I understand PhilippineSaint.

 

Your keen interest in Tokyo-Saints' anus was manly and altruistic.

 

You wanted to stop Tokyo-Saint ****ting himself as opposed to having him ****ting 'yourself'.

 

That's fair enough.

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saintbletch

saintbletch

Posted
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Also that whole post bletch just done was loools! He's one of my favourites and luckily i'm in the market for a new b!tch! Yo bletch what would it take to bring you bear-side? There's many benefits! You get a new avatar f.o.c. soon as i get it back from Tokyos, you get pornographic pms sent to you on a bi-sexual basis. Also, bum sex.

 

I'm flattered Mr Bearsy. Obviously. Who wouldn't be? And so romantic too.

 

For just a moment, I allowed myself to think what life would be like if I were your new beeatch. Oh, we could go for long walks and stop when the fancy took us, then we would just sit in the moonlight and read Jeeve and Woosters to each other. I'd gaze into your deep, glassy eyes; you'd stare at my arse. It would be simply wonderful.

 

But no. And I realise that I may live to regret spurning your advances Mr. Bearsy, but you belong to another.

 

I'm not the sort of Bletch that comes between two lovers. I couldn't swallow that.

 

Tokyo-Saint needs you now. Don't worry about me. I'll be alright in a while. Go. Go back to Tokyo-Saint. He needs you.

 

Go on. Go. Don't look back. But when you think of me, allow a smile to visit your face and wait awhile there.

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PhilippineSaint

PhilippineSaint

Posted
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I'm flattered Mr Bearsy. Obviously. Who wouldn't be? And so romantic too.

 

For just a moment, I allowed myself to think what life would be like if I were your new beeatch. Oh, we could go for long walks and stop when the fancy took us, then we would just sit in the moonlight and read Jeeve and Woosters to each other. I'd gaze into your deep, glassy eyes; you'd stare at my arse. It would be simply wonderful.

 

But no. And I realise that I may live to regret spurning your advances Mr. Bearsy, but you belong to another.

 

I'm not the sort of Bletch that comes between two lovers. I couldn't swallow that.

 

Tokyo-Saint needs you now. Don't worry about me. I'll be alright in a while. Go. Go back to Tokyo-Saint. He needs you.

 

Go on. Go. Don't look back. But when you think of me, allow a smile to visit your face and wait awhile there.

 

This could go on the shirt thread as "50 Shades of Red and White"

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saintbletch

saintbletch

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This could go on the shirt thread as "50 Shades of Red and White"

 

About 200 years north of where I was aiming actually PhilippineSaint.

 

I was hoping that the reader might be reminded of Pride and Prejudice enough to want to go to the library, check out a book, go home and get their tongues around Jane Austen.

 

So I was trying to be more Miss Bennet than Miss Buttplug really.

 

But you've given me an idea.

 

50 Shades of Bestiality - A novel by SaintBletch chronicling the tempestuous and sometimes violent relationship between a young, wide-eyed (think about it) man from Tokyo and a successful multi-millionaire bear with a passions for plurals.

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PhilippineSaint

PhilippineSaint

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About 200 years north of where I was aiming actually PhilippineSaint.

 

I was hoping that the reader might be reminded of Pride and Prejudice enough to want to go to the library, check out a book, go home and get their tongues around Jane Austen.

 

So I was trying to be more Miss Bennet than Miss Buttplug really.

 

But you've given me an idea.

 

50 Shades of Bestiality - A novel by SaintBletch chronicling the tempestuous and sometimes violent relationship between a young, wide-eyed (think about it) man from Tokyo and a successful multi-millionaire bear with a passions for plurals.

 

So you have read the notorious tome? I sorrily have only assumed it is a cross between the pink purloiner Catherine Cookson and Forum magazine

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saintbletch

saintbletch

Posted
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It's a trilogy.

 

I haven't read it but Mrs saintbletch is currently on book 3.

 

All I can say is that you do eventually get used to the smell of latex, but never buy your wife a baulky wrist watch.

 

Also, another word to the wise. If your wife tells you she isn't reading it, but she mistakenly calls you Christian, you know there's a copy of 50 Shares in her knicker drawer somewhere.

 

I'm getting quite used to the name now.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Bearsy

Bearsy

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No idea why I was banned...

 

Edit: Just found out it's because i called Chalet a dirty mod bastard in a Pm

 

Fo' real? There ain't nothing bout that in the rules! I call Chalet a dirty mod bastard in pm's all the time. Although not admittedly in the pm's i send him. I ain't stupid!

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Bearsy

Bearsy

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So cheesie, what did you do while you was away? Anything interesting? Did you go posting on some other forums or was you sitting on your hands the whole time. Nice to have you back or whatever!

 

I quite like the idea bout Chalet on his computer and he innocently opens a pm and then he goes white as a sheet, his mouth goes dry and he starts looking about wildly. Someone is coming for me! Oh noes! He reaches out with trembling fingers and clicks on the BAN button. But will that be enough? I bet he slept top and tails with stevegrants that night. I bet he still has Baj come check under his bed when he gets home from the curry house.

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Cheese on Toast

Cheese on Toast

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So cheesie, what did you do while you was away? Anything interesting? Did you go posting on some other forums or was you sitting on your hands the whole time. Nice to have you back or whatever!

 

I quite like the idea bout Chalet on his computer and he innocently opens a pm and then he goes white as a sheet, his mouth goes dry and he starts looking about wildly. Someone is coming for me! Oh noes! He reaches out with trembling fingers and clicks on the BAN button. But will that be enough? I bet he slept top and tails with stevegrants that night. I bet he still has Baj come check under his bed when he gets home from the curry house.

 

I dearly hope that happened

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  • 5 weeks later...

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