Cincy USA Posted 14 June, 2012 Share Posted 14 June, 2012 An American friend of mine - and a huge Ar$enal fan - is unaware that his missus is throwing him a surprise 40th birthday party later this month with hundreds of guests. There are plans to roast him - not literally of course, I can't imagine any Gooner is palatable - and I have been asked to stand up at the podium and specifically crack jokes (mostly in the worst possible taste) about Ar$enal. Given that football humour is - AFAIAC - the best humour, I'm wondering if anybody here has any sure-fire crackers I can slam him with? Your contribution is much appreciated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colinjb Posted 14 June, 2012 Share Posted 14 June, 2012 As a suppliment to this we were going to gift your wife an Arsenal bra. A tribute to the immediate history of the team, it's a revolutionary design that features plenty of support but no cups. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skintsaint Posted 14 June, 2012 Share Posted 14 June, 2012 I'd 8-2 be in your shoes standing at the podium cracking jokes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yate Saint Posted 16 June, 2012 Share Posted 16 June, 2012 Arsene Wenger was coming tonight but he has decided to go to to a referee moaning convention in Geneva instead, so he sends his best wishes but hopes you haven't spent too much money on the party to ensure that it is mediocre at best. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Glasgow_Saint Posted 16 June, 2012 Share Posted 16 June, 2012 Why do Arsenal men like smart women ?? Opposites attract. Why did God make Arsenal supporters smelly? So blind people could laugh at them too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 16 June, 2012 Share Posted 16 June, 2012 You could start the speech by saying "as soon as I was asked to do this I realised that I only speak English. So I'm safe from litigation by any of the Arsenal staff." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deano6 Posted 17 June, 2012 Share Posted 17 June, 2012 I heard he regularly takes her up the Arse...nal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LVSaint Posted 19 June, 2012 Share Posted 19 June, 2012 I heard he regularly takes her up the Arse...nal. As many guests as possible gather round his missus, chanting and pointing at her declaring "Does he take you up the arse?" until she starts crying. Mwarrr haha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cincy USA Posted 26 June, 2012 Author Share Posted 26 June, 2012 Thanks for the gags - added/amended a couple of these for use this weekend. If there's any more out there, let's 'ave 'em Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 27 June, 2012 Share Posted 27 June, 2012 Surely there's a Southampton Academy joke in there somewhere... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cincy USA Posted 28 June, 2012 Author Share Posted 28 June, 2012 Oh yes, something along the lines of Arsenal being little more than "Southampton Lite" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now