Dog Posted 16 May, 2012 Posted 16 May, 2012 After failing to do a bird with a butternut squash last weekend, I was thinking what veg or fruit you could use to pleasure yourself with? I've heard of builders sha99ing cucumbers in their portaloo's and I know that women love a carrot from behind, but has anyone ever used anything a bit different for the love making?
alpine_saint Posted 16 May, 2012 Posted 16 May, 2012 Were you expecting a lengthy detailed discussion bringing new horizons to your attention ? What is there to look for past a cucumber or a courgette ?
alpine_saint Posted 16 May, 2012 Posted 16 May, 2012 I managed to fit a marrow in my ex's arse. True story Can I have her phone number ?
Tokyo-Saint Posted 16 May, 2012 Posted 16 May, 2012 Can I have her phone number ? Unfortunately she died in the process of accepting said vegetable.
Jack Posted 16 May, 2012 Posted 16 May, 2012 Can I have her phone number ? She didn't survive the ordeal, unfortunately.
saintbletch Posted 16 May, 2012 Posted 16 May, 2012 Can I have her phone number ? I imagine the marrow is off by now.
trousers Posted 16 May, 2012 Posted 16 May, 2012 I like to keep things as life like as possible, so it's asparagus every time for me.
The Cat Posted 16 May, 2012 Posted 16 May, 2012 Corn on the cob is good. The small ridges give an increased burst of pleasure. Plus if a few corns fall off it doesn't matter because you generally find a few when exploring the anus anyway.
Dog Posted 16 May, 2012 Author Posted 16 May, 2012 Corn on the cob is good. The small ridges give an increased burst of pleasure. Plus if a few corns fall off it doesn't matter because you generally find a few when exploring the anus anyway. Great shout there The Cat, should I boil it first and add a knob of butter, or just fire it in raw?
suewhistle Posted 16 May, 2012 Posted 16 May, 2012 This is one for Jillsaint, suzy and Bridgetoofar. I'm sure none of us care what you shove up your a@*e, although an orange in your mouth might quieten you down a bit.
RonManager Posted 16 May, 2012 Posted 16 May, 2012 I like to play the long game, so it's a handful of tomato seeds and a cupful of Fison's Evergreen 80, well watered in....
Dog Posted 16 May, 2012 Author Posted 16 May, 2012 I'm sure none of us care what you shove up your a@*e, although an orange in your mouth might quieten you down a bit. Sue, have you ever dabbled with a bit of veg?
Dog Posted 16 May, 2012 Author Posted 16 May, 2012 (edited) Why is this in the Muppet Show? Edited 16 May, 2012 by Dog Hitler mods
Lighthouse Posted 16 May, 2012 Posted 16 May, 2012 Aubergines are good, but you generally have to grown your own as the ones in the supermarket are already too big.
scotty Posted 16 May, 2012 Posted 16 May, 2012 I like to keep things as life like as possible, so it's asparagus every time for me. If its gone a shade of green you want to get to the doctor sharpish.
Wade Garrett Posted 21 May, 2012 Posted 21 May, 2012 I know it's not a vegetable, but I once had a job retrieving lobsters from Jayne Mansfields arsehole. I like to eat cabbage from the wife's vag.
Mattio Posted 21 May, 2012 Posted 21 May, 2012 Not a vegetable but Saintkip, who/where ever he is now, used to love frozen banana's...
svetigpung Posted 22 May, 2012 Posted 22 May, 2012 Jacket potato .... you get a free tasty filling on the way out!
SNSUN Posted 25 May, 2012 Posted 25 May, 2012 There's a pretty good fruit used in our household for sexual gratification. The humble Cumquot. The answer's in the name. My missus can do the ping pong ball trick with one of those bad boys.
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