Sunday Joke

[Saint in Paradise]

A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One rainy day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

 

'Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband's home early!'

 

'I can't jump out the window. It's raining out there!'

 

'If my husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!' she replied.

 

'He's got a hot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!'

 

So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quickly discovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, so he started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.

 

Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in as best he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer.

 

'Do you always run in the nude?' one asked.

 

'Oh yes!' he replied, gasping in air. 'It feels so wonderfully free!'

 

Another runner moved a long side. 'Do you always run carrying your clothes with you under your arm?'

 

'Oh, yes' our friend answered breathlessly. 'That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!'

 

Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, 'Do you always wear a condom when you run?'

 

'Nope...just when it's raining.'

[Ponty]

Man, that's bad.

[Marsdinho]

Tumbleweed

[Baj]

I think you forgot the punchline

[Master Bates]

Supposedly Stephen Hawking has one of the best memories around.

 

It cost £1,500 from PC World

 

____________

Women. They are confusing creatures, eh?

 

My wife suggested "spicing up" our sex life. But when I suggested to have a threesome with the girl next door, she was disgusted and threw me out.

 

Personally, I don't see the problem. She was the one who said the girl next door was "cute" whilst we were babysitting.

 

______________________

 

I came home yesterday and found that my wife had discovered my private camcorder collection and was watching one of them.

 

She looked really shocked and I was really angry. So I ruined it for her and told her the little girl dies at the end.

[Pancake]

I came home yesterday and found that my wife had discovered my private camcorder collection and was watching one of them.

 

She looked really shocked and I was really angry. So I ruined it for her and told her the little girl dies at the end.

 

I know I shouldnt, but I did lol.

[Master Bates]

It takes balls to be a transvestite.