ZepSaint Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 (edited) To SiP :- Nah, course not. More likely it was his Mum coming round to do his washing.Prob such an untidy git there was weeks worth to do ! To Tokes, can I call you Tokes ? Is that similar to Tugs ? Or is that something people do to themselves, I wonder. Anyway, was a confirmed lurker until yesterday at which point Bearsy intrigued me (but not in THAT way) and I ran up against my 3 posts in 24hr b*llox limit, so had to part with my hard earned just to find out what happened ! (which I still haven't, hey-ho). Think I might even change the name to Zeppy in honour of you, ZepSaint was always a bit too clumsy for my liking. As for being Dune, I gather from lurking thats thats the equivalent of being sworn at, so thanks very much ! Edited 28 September, 2012 by ZepSaint Multiple Replies Needed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 Welcome to The Muppet Show ZepSaint. Ignore the older boys that post on here, they can be a bit rough on new boys especially if the new boy is a little, well, eccentric. The Muppet Show is very much like a public boarding school - equal measures of intelligence, boredom and inbreeding. But you must learn that there is a food chain here. Tokyo-Saint and Bearsy are the senior boys, Tokyo-Saint is Bearsy's 'head boy' and I expect Tokyo-Saint will try to make you his fag - he does it to all the new boys. But if he tells you that he'd like to help you to 'fit in' - I'd suggest you decline his offer. Stay on the right side of pap - he's teaches two subjects - Politics and Physics (specialising in warp drives and other interstellar transport mechanisms) and scotty - he's the Philosophy master and his lectures can usually be found in The Crap Joke Refectory. Anyway, make yourself at home. I would second ZepSaint's welcome to the Muppet Show, although I should point out that most of my politics lessons take place over at The Lounge New Academy for Troubled Tories. I waffle on incessantly, but I suspect it's in one ear and out the other with most of them. I do like trousers though. If there were ever an "adopt a right winger" program in SaintsWeb, he'd certainly be my choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZepSaint Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 I try to steer clear of Politics, it gets me into all sorts of trouble. I think they're all a bunch of arses.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 To Tokes, can I call you Tokes ? Sure no problem, I'll help you 'fit in'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZepSaint Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 Sure no problem, I'll help you 'fit in'. Ah, in that case, would Tokyo-Saint San be applicable Sir ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 I leave the forum for a couple of hours and when I come back I am being mugged off by someone with the grand total of 0 posts per day. That is the equivalent of being a registered user, in fact why are you are full member if up until yesterday you only had one post to your name zeppy? This is what we will be investigating first if we take the case. Is this sudden flurry of posts something you have been planning since 2007 or worse are you one of dune's many cover logins? Are you here to promote Gibraltar and spread racial hatred? Well are you? In other news, bletchy is back! Where have you been bltcher? Get really into Dostoevsky? Did you keep thinking, one more chapter, just one more, then I will go check on Bear and Tokyo? Sounds selfish bletch but we forgive you. Welcome back anyway. Not Dostoevsky Tokyo-Saint, it was James Joyce's Ulysses. I'm 99% through it and it's taken me 6 months. A full appraisal will be in the What are you Reading? thread in 'the other place' soon. In fact, in an odd Gibraltarian twist, the main protagonist in Ulysses is Leopold Bloom and his wife Molly Bloom was born in Gibraltar. And I'm just reading about her reminiscing about pulling off a Gibraltar naval Captain into her handkerchief - which she kept under her pillow and would periodically take it out to smell it. All of this in a 60 page final chapter featuring only 8 sentences and zero punctuation. It's like a dannysfc post on steroids. Enough of the book talk (I'm getting slightly aroused if I'm honest), but you started it. We need to know. Does Zep exist? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 Ah, in that case, would Tokyo-Saint San be applicable Sir ? Tokyos will be fine. Only bletch calls me by my full name but he is aloud as he comes from a different world. I always read his post in the style of the butler from Downton Abbey. It hurts my brain a little if I am honest, especially as bletches posts go on for ages and often need to be reread, sometimes with a dictionary in hand, a redbull by my side and match sticks under my eyes. I can't be going through all of that for two of you ya know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZepSaint Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 We need to know. Does Zep exist? Does Bearsy sh1t in the woods ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZepSaint Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 Tokyos will be fine. Only bletch calls me by my full name but he is aloud A loud what ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 A loud what ? I'm glad you did that ZepSaint. I'm not aloud to do that sort of thing myself any more. Tokyo-Saint has had a homophone restraining order put on me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 Whatever you do in the privacy of your own home is none of my business bletch. Just please ensure you are both consenting adults and they are not one of your students. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZepSaint Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 Tokyo-Saint has had a homophone restraining order put on me. /Tin Hat On Is a homophone an ordinary phone that only connects calls with other phones of a similar nature, sort of like in a civil partnershop sort of way ? /Tin Hat Goes On Tighter:suspicious: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 Is a civil partnershop kind of like if you own a shop but are friends with another shop and want to take the relationship between your shops further? Is that how Marks and Spencer got started? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZepSaint Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 I think a civil partnershop is something akin to say Waitrose, where the staff are polite Sort of the opposite of something like Lidls where they couldn't give a rat's ar5e, an uncivil partnershop if you like Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tokyo-Saint Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 I live in London, even the staff in Waitrose here hate you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZepSaint Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 Can't help you there then .....................Romsey is my gaff, Chilworth is where I work Both posh places, apart from my bit that is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 Not Dostoevsky Tokyo-Saint, it was James Joyce's Ulysses. I'm 99% through it and it's taken me 6 months. A full appraisal will be in the What are you Reading? thread in 'the other place' soon. In fact, in an odd Gibraltarian twist, the main protagonist in Ulysses is Leopold Bloom and his wife Molly Bloom was born in Gibraltar. And I'm just reading about her reminiscing about pulling off a Gibraltar naval Captain into her handkerchief - which she kept under her pillow and would periodically take it out to smell it. All of this in a 60 page final chapter featuring only 8 sentences and zero punctuation. It's like a dannysfc post on steroids. Enough of the book talk (I'm getting slightly aroused if I'm honest), but you started it. We need to know. Does Zep exist? f*cking hell bletchy, ulysses?? How did you ever plough your way through that pile of irish shlte, must be the most overrated tome in history. And james joyce was a c*nt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 28 September, 2012 Author Share Posted 28 September, 2012 Anyway, whole point of me coming out of lurker mode was to find out how the hell Bearsy did a number on his 'lodger' Personally I think got a final large scale boning (boneing ? boaning ? bowning ?) which proved to much for the frail guest and she's buried underneath the lifesize statue of Yogi thats in his garden I've even had to flippin' subscribe with my hard earned fiver just to find out ! TELL ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!! You reading this b!tches! The dumb mods is trying for 5 years to get their greasy mittens on Zeppos hard earned fivers but no he is steadfastly lurking them BOOM! Bearsy gets on the case and within 24 hours we is having full access to empty his bank accounts! I should be getting commission for this! I should at least be getting free poppadoms at the next Curry Night! Stevegrants, just mikes, st_chalets..................... the other ones................. you boys took one hell of a beatings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 f*cking hell bletchy, ulysses?? How did you ever plough your way through that pile of irish shlte, must be the most overrated tome in history. And james joyce was a c*nt. Any more of those cuss words scotty and you and I might never exchange Christmas cards again. And if I reply in full, you're going to get me into more 'off-topic for The Muppet Show' trouble with Mulder and Skully. You'll have to wait for my review in The Arts Forum. Anyway... How? Sheer bloody-mindedness and the fact that I have a literary ego so large you could photograph it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bearsy Posted 28 September, 2012 Author Share Posted 28 September, 2012 you can talk more bout your book or whatever if you like bletch, specially if there's more dirty bits like when she is giving you a hand job into a handkerchief and then you is sniffing it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZepSaint Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 You reading this b!tches! The dumb mods is trying for 5 years to get their greasy mittens on Zeppos hard earned fivers but no he is steadfastly lurking them BOOM! Bearsy gets on the case and within 24 hours we is having full access to empty his bank accounts! I should be getting commission for this! I should at least be getting free poppadoms at the next Curry Night! Stevegrants, just mikes, st_chalets..................... the other ones................. you boys took one hell of a beatings! I've heard you'll do anything for a fiver Bearsy, at least thats what I've read about you anyways Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZepSaint Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 (edited) You reading this b!tches! The dumb mods is trying for 5 years to get their greasy mittens on Zeppos hard earned fivers but no he is steadfastly lurking them BOOM! Bearsy gets on the case and within 24 hours we is having full access to empty his bank accounts! Also, technically it was your lodger that was the cause of me giving up my fiver. Dare I suggest you calling her back round so you can pass it over ? Edited 28 September, 2012 by ZepSaint Crap typing again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 Any more of those cuss words scotty and you and I might never exchange Christmas cards again. And if I reply in full, you're going to get me into more 'off-topic for The Muppet Show' trouble with Mulder and Skully. You'll have to wait for my review in The Arts Forum. Anyway... How? Sheer bloody-mindedness and the fact that I have a literary ego so large you could photograph it. Christmas cards, I take it you've abandoned your pointless atheist/agnostic stance and signed up to my havent-got-a-clueist movement then And the only decent Irish writer is J P Donleavy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 Christmas cards, I take it you've abandoned your pointless atheist/agnostic stance and signed up to my havent-got-a-clueist movement then And the only decent Irish writer is J P Donleavy. The experience of reading Ulysses was so spiritual that I have recanted my agnostic atheism and have become a 1 day adventist - Praise The Lord! I now worship at the church of Joyce every 16th June. And in future I'll be sure to check with you before selecting a book. You're too good to me scotty. I've not read any J P Donleavy, an omission I will put right on your recommendation, but a quick Google tells me that he was born in New York. So Ireland has no decent writers. They'll be disappointed about that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 He considers himself irish I believe, because of his irish parents, and most of his writing is based there. (not all of it though, A Fairytale of New York being one notable exception.) Best known for The Ginger Man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZepSaint Posted 28 September, 2012 Share Posted 28 September, 2012 So, is The Muppet Show the sort of semi intellectual, semi pornographic, part religious, somewhat political and slightly intelligent proving ground and initiation ceremony that former lurkers have to go through before being let loose on other more sensible areas of the forum ? It definately seems to be ! If so, am I now allowed to officially gawp at the latest set of norks on a Nun in the match threads without having to do it whilst feeling even dirtier (for not having paid) than I should do anyway ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wade Garrett Posted 29 September, 2012 Share Posted 29 September, 2012 Nah but seriously though this actually sort of happened to me back in the late 70s.I had real trouble getting rid of my live-in.Had to go for the really risky exit tactic,suggest getting married, let her arrange everything and then pull out a couple of weeks before....worked a treat,gone in a flash,looked a bit sheepish in front of my family and friends though...but I got over it with the help of a couple of Easy Dorises. Hope she's not reading this though..probably not, lives in Bournemouth and doesn't like football. Are you Terry McCann from Minder? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhilippineSaint Posted 14 October, 2012 Share Posted 14 October, 2012 The experience of reading Ulysses was so spiritual that I have recanted my agnostic atheism and have become a 1 day adventist - Praise The Lord! I now worship at the church of Joyce every 16th June. And in future I'll be sure to check with you before selecting a book. You're too good to me scotty. I've not read any J P Donleavy, an omission I will put right on your recommendation, but a quick Google tells me that he was born in New York. So Ireland has no decent writers. They'll be disappointed about that. Spike Milligan had an Irish passport, his part in my downfall was legendary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now