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Guest Dark Sotonic Mills
Posted
Christmas is cancelled this year for me, FACT.

 

Don't tell me, he's working.

Posted

I hate Christmas. People are happy and i have to smile when i dont want to, i also am made to get out of bed worryingly early on Christmas morning. Also people who abbreviate Christmas down to Xmas should be shot in the face with a Chicken Gun.

 

Colin Firth gonna smash you with his girth

Posted
Christmas should be in the summer. like the Aussies have.

 

I'm writing to Ofcom.

 

Hatch you feckin Pr*ck!.....we don't get summers like the poxy Aussies:rock:

Instead of being cold and wet, It will be warm and wet!......And theres me thinking it was us (the blue few) who were the knuckle dragger's;)

Posted
Hatch you feckin Pr*ck!.....we don't get summers like the poxy Aussies:rock:

Instead of being cold and wet, It will be warm and wet!......And theres me thinking it was us (the blue few) who were the knuckle dragger's;)

 

I like warm and wet

Posted

The word Xmas is fine written, as long as it's not pronounced Exmas when spoken. X has been used as the symbol for Christ for almost 1000 years, by all religions, and most of us have seen the word Xian used in RE at school. The X in Xian is the same 'abbreviation' as the X in Xmas.

 

Actually, as an atheist, I couldn't give a hoot how people pronounce it, but it seems to wind some people up.

Posted
I have some Walkers Turkey and Stuffing flavour crisps. This means that Christmas has begun. Are the Ginsters Xmas sandwiches out yet?

 

Just be carefull with the GINSTERS sandwiches..hope they are better than the so called Cornish Pasties they make..nothing relates to a Cornish Pasty and nobody who knows about Cornish pasties eat the beastly things.

Posted
I had Christmas dinner with Tom O'Connor last year. True story. An intelligent man, used to be a maths teacher before going into comedy.

 

 

Either you're a liar, or he is. On balance, I'd say it was you.

Guest Dark Sotonic Mills
Posted
Anyone who pretends not to like Christmas is a ****.

 

I don't pretend not to like it, I actually really hate it. I think it's something to do with SAD.

Posted

I won't be eating with Tom O'Connor this year because he is, apparently, spending the day with Bob Carolgees. Bob now owns a candleshop in Chesire and is going to have a well lit dining table. To be honest, I couldn't give a sh*t what Tom does for Christmas, he's a terrible drunk anyway.

Posted

Penguins are evil. They spy at me and make me nervous, I wonder what they're plotting. My missus loves penguins, she has dozens of stuffed, porcelain and china penguins scattered around the house. Freaks me out.

 

Then I notice that in various garden centres, penguins seem to be the Christmas animal of choice. Nottcutts are the biggest culprit, their Christmas section is literally a nightmarish Hell, full of the evil little furry bastards.

 

Down with penguins.

Posted
Penguins are evil. They spy at me and make me nervous, I wonder what they're plotting. My missus loves penguins, she has dozens of stuffed, porcelain and china penguins scattered around the house. Freaks me out.

 

Then I notice that in various garden centres, penguins seem to be the Christmas animal of choice. Nottcutts are the biggest culprit, their Christmas section is literally a nightmarish Hell, full of the evil little furry bastards.

 

Down with penguins.

 

Penguinist.

Posted
I won't be eating with Tom O'Connor this year because he is, apparently, spending the day with Bob Carolgees. Bob now owns a candleshop in Chesire and is going to have a well lit dining table. To be honest, I couldn't give a sh*t what Tom does for Christmas, he's a terrible drunk anyway.

 

Did he 'touch' you?

Posted
I'm really looking forward to Christmas.I've got my kids presents from Poundland.

I cannot wait to see the look on their faces.

Little bas*ards.

 

This made me lol! :D

Posted
I'm really looking forward to Christmas.I've got my kids presents from Poundland.

I cannot wait to see the look on their faces.

Little bas*ards.

 

Even at the age of 25 my parents still insist on getting me a stocking.

 

Brilliant when I was younger for the smaller presents, like WWF figures of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle figures, but after the age of 10, they have been filled with cheap tat, and over the last 3 years (as I now have my own house) every year, they are filled with cheap tools from Poundland, which break after (and sometimes before) the first use!

 

Still I grin and bear it, as they always give me a few hundred quid in cash too!

Posted

Wow, is Tom O'Connor still allive? He must be the same age as his jokes by now. He's such a big star I saw him on a New year's Eve booze cruise from Southampton to Cherbourg & back... what 16 years ago. Surprised you reconised him.

 

Meanwhile Damn you Brits, you've finally contaminated Dubai with "EARLY CHRISTMAS"

 

Used to be nothing happened here until about a week before, but in the last few days, bl**dy plastic trees and frozen turkeys everywhere, local supermarket has the decorations up already, and the all you can eat party places are trying to sell tickets for the Day at 200 quid instead of the normal 20.

 

Christmas stuff should NEVER be allowed before the Rugby 7's = FACT, we can only plan ONE p*ss up at a time

Posted
Still I grin and bear it, as they always give me a few hundred quid in cash too!

 

You are such a martyr, Crouchie. I don't know how you put up with such hardship.

 

If you came out to your parents, perhaps they'd stop giving you masculine gifts such as tools and start giving you things that you'd enjoy?

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