Jillyanne Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 Is it just men who do this? My Dad always did and the hubby does - WHY???
SuperMikey Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 With all due respect Jill, you could never possibly understand.
Jillyanne Posted 22 March, 2012 Author Posted 22 March, 2012 With all due respect Jill, you could never possibly understand. Please try and explain? I seriously don't get it!!??!!
norwaysaint Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 It does seem a ridiculous way to behave, especially in this day and age of laptops and wi-fi.
trousers Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 The newspaper has now been largely replaced by the smart phone and/or tablet. As this post proves....
Jillyanne Posted 22 March, 2012 Author Posted 22 March, 2012 Ok, it changes between paper and iPad!!!
EastleighSoulBoy Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 Is it just men who do this? My Dad always did and the hubby does - WHY??? DSM takes the exchange & Mart to the loo, hoping to see if he can find any more free kittens.
Bearsy Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 I always play Tiger Woods Golf on my iphone! Sometimes I'm there ages till my legs go all numb! What do you do Jillyanne, just like sit there staring at the wall? Isn't that boring?
This Charming Man Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 Love a good clear out whilst browsing the iPad. Can't beat it.
Lord Duckhunter Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 My old man always used to go into the toilet with the paper, same time every day. I think it was the only peace and quiet he ever got. After about 25 mins he would emerge from the toilet and with the rest of the family sat around eating breakfast would say, "anyone want a read". Nobody ever did and it put me off reading the paper for years. As soon as I was old enough I used to buy my own paper.
Lighthouse Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 I often find there's a big load at the start, then a few more deliveries 10 minutes later. You need something to fill the time inbetween. Having said that, I once got carried away playing Angry Birds and spent best part of an hour sat on the throne.
Jillyanne Posted 22 March, 2012 Author Posted 22 March, 2012 I always play Tiger Woods Golf on my iphone! Sometimes I'm there ages till my legs go all numb! What do you do Jillyanne, just like sit there staring at the wall? Isn't that boring? Just do the business and go, don't make an event out of it!!! Must be a man thing?
Lord Duckhunter Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 Just do the business and go, don't make an event out of it!!! Must be a man thing? What my wife cant get her head round is the timing, when she needs to go she goes. I dont know if it's just me, but I like to try before going to work, and before going out just in case I get called short.
Bearsy Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 In the case of your husband Jillyanne, it sounds like he's avoiding your society! Are you a nag?
Bearsy Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 In fact, here's a test for you! How long does he normally take, like 20 minutes? Next time follow him into the toilet and talk to him the whole time, I think you'd be surprised how much quicker he gets done!
Jillyanne Posted 22 March, 2012 Author Posted 22 March, 2012 In fact, here's a test for you! How long does he normally take, like 20 minutes? Next time follow him into the toilet and talk to him the whole time, I think you'd be surprised how much quicker he gets done! No more than 7-10 mins
Verbal Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 No more than 7-10 mins Why do women talk to bears? WHY??!!
Bearsy Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 What have you got against bears??? I feel bad for Jillyanne's husband. She's clearly that desperate to bend his ear bout what chores she's got planned for him that she can't even give the poor sod 7-10 minutes in his own society. It's sad really. She should remember that an evacuated bowel is the key to a succesful marriage. She should be encouraging this behaviour! She should tell him to take his time "There's no need to rush, Jillyanne's Husband" Jillyanne should say to her husband. She should take an interest. She should offer to look at what he's done before he flushes. She should stand there silently holding the paper for him while he wipes, gently turning the page when he indicates with a grave nod of his concentrated head that he's ready for the next installment.
Jillyanne Posted 22 March, 2012 Author Posted 22 March, 2012 What have you got against bears??? I feel bad for Jillyanne's husband. She's clearly that desperate to bend his ear bout what chores she's got planned for him that she can't even give the poor sod 7-10 minutes in his own society. It's sad really. She should remember that an evacuated bowel is the key to a succesful marriage. She should be encouraging this behaviour! She should tell him to take his time "There's no need to rush, Jillyanne's Husband" Jillyanne should say to her husband. She should take an interest. She should offer to look at what he's done before he flushes. She should stand there silently holding the paper for him while he wipes, gently turning the page when he indicates with a grave nod of his concentrated head that he's ready for the next installment. Lol, he works away for six months of the year!!!
Jillyanne Posted 22 March, 2012 Author Posted 22 March, 2012 And you wonder why! How very dare you - he did before we met!!!
pap Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 Speaking purely for myself, I'm always in the bog for a bit anyway. Ms pap is like a rabbit, in and out in a couple of minutes. I'm there for at least ten minutes, don't need all my mental facilities to crimp off cables and don't want to spend my time in there staring at the walls or reading the backs of shampoo bottles (ooh - isopropyl alcohol!). Thus some form of entertainment is required. Newspapers and books are traditional staples, but modern technology has given us a wealth of options:- 1) iPoo - a poo enjoyed with an Apple device, such as an iPad, iPod or iPhone. 2) PSPoo (archaic) - Playing games on the last gen Sony Playstation Portable. 3) Craptop - any laptop, really
pap Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 Oh, and for any owners of Sony's new handheld:- Sheet-a-with-a-Vita!* * must always be said with a ridiculously over the top Italian accent.
TopGun Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 My Kindle lives on the shelf by the toilet. It's less expensive than potentially dropping the iPhone down the bog and ensures a chapter a day.
dune Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 Is it just men who do this? My Dad always did and the hubby does - WHY???
Whitey Grandad Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 When I was a kid the toilet was out in the garden. Newspaper was what you wiped your arse with. Or wrapped up fish and chips. Or both.
Bearsy Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 You have a dirty mind! If he says he's having a dump he's having a dump! 7-10 minutes is suspicious though. Too long for a straight dump, too quick for a reading the paper dump. Probably about par for... nah. No way. Maybe...
dubai_phil Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 We get a paper delivered. It's free. It's called 7Days. It only comes 5 days a week. On the other two days I find a Sudoku book works just as well
Dr Who? Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 I take my iPad, the local rag, iPhone or read loaded in the toilet, and I know my wife reads it sometimes, but I can spend 20 mins to half hour on the loo.
miserableoldgit Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 It does seem a ridiculous way to behave, especially in this day and age of laptops and wi-fi.
andysstuff Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 It's the man's version of multi tasking. For me Saintsweb or the Guardian on my phone, although in my younger days there was a Beano annual sat in there for just over a year. Usually 15-20 minutes.
Hatch Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 Always the smart phone these days, just gets awkward when someone calls you though, especially when you are in a cubicle at work
Kingsland Codger Posted 22 March, 2012 Posted 22 March, 2012 When I was a child my mum pasted the times-table to the back of the loo door - together with a sheet of other relevant facts like 1760 yards = 1 mile and 30 pence are two-and-six. I was therefore conditioned from an early age (by a woman) to make full use of the idle time available to improve my knowledge. So, no, Jillyanne, it's not "a man thing" - but maybe it's "a caused by a woman thing" ?
Petersfield Saint Posted 23 March, 2012 Posted 23 March, 2012 Always the smart phone these days, just gets awkward when someone calls you though, especially when you are in a cubicle at work Never heard of airplane mode?? Bad drills, soldier!!
Raging Bull Posted 23 March, 2012 Posted 23 March, 2012 I take a cup of tea in sometimes. I can vouch for this, or an ale. A bloke can tell if it's gonna be a smooth roll call or a labour of love, however there are exceptions like taking a dump at SMS in which case it's in and back out like an SAS soldier in 3 mins......that includes the paper work too!
Doctoroncall Posted 23 March, 2012 Posted 23 March, 2012 Lol, he works away for six months of the year!!! I wonder if his other wife thinks the same?? ;-)
Special K Posted 23 March, 2012 Posted 23 March, 2012 I can vouch for this, or an ale. A bloke can tell if it's gonna be a smooth roll call or a labour of love, however there are exceptions like taking a dump at SMS in which case it's in and back out like an SAS soldier in 3 mins......that includes the paper work too! I'd never take an ale into the khasi! Not with some of the pan-steamers that come out of my 'arris anyway. Why would you try to sup a nice beer when you're gagging 'cos you've pebbledashed the porcelain with last night ruby?
Raging Bull Posted 23 March, 2012 Posted 23 March, 2012 I'd never take an ale into the khasi! Not with some of the pan-steamers that come out of my 'arris anyway. Why would you try to sup a nice beer when you're gagging 'cos you've pebbledashed the porcelain with last night ruby? Not entirely sure why I sometimes take a beer to the throne breakfast cereal!! I guess it's cos I don't really wanna stop drinking, I must add it's always accompanied by the iPhone and only when I know I'm in it for the long haul. It's a strange fetish and tbh the effect some ale has on me I may as well cut out the middle man and pour it down the bog! Also my sh¡t don't stink
Marsdinho Posted 23 March, 2012 Posted 23 March, 2012 Is it just men who do this? My Dad always did and the hubby does - WHY??? lol, have you not spotted a pattern here.
Dog Posted 23 March, 2012 Posted 23 March, 2012 Jill, he is texting his mistress while he poops, and using the newspaper as cover.
Joey-deacons-left-nut Posted 23 March, 2012 Posted 23 March, 2012 I moved the wifi at work so its reaches my favourite cubicle.... I now take my Ipad in with me....
dune Posted 23 March, 2012 Posted 23 March, 2012 Next time you're at a family gathering (mummy, daddy, Hubby, you - all sat together) ask "daddy why do you and take the Daily Star/The Sun to the lavatory?"
Special K Posted 23 March, 2012 Posted 23 March, 2012 Not entirely sure why I sometimes take a beer to the throne breakfast cereal!! I guess it's cos I don't really wanna stop drinking, I must add it's always accompanied by the iPhone and only when I know I'm in it for the long haul. It's a strange fetish and tbh the effect some ale has on me I may as well cut out the middle man and pour it down the bog! Also my sh¡t don't stink
BadgerBadger Posted 23 March, 2012 Posted 23 March, 2012 Angry Birds Space is my preferred option at the mo - I play it until my legs go dead
Petersfield Saint Posted 23 March, 2012 Posted 23 March, 2012 Drag Racing on Android seems to have the same effect on my legs; Angry Birds is always good for whiling away the time whilst one "logs out."
svetigpung Posted 23 March, 2012 Posted 23 March, 2012 get some good words on Wordfued while having a peacefull dump...
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