I'm a dirty bear!

[Spudders]

What a let down, I thought Philippine was gonna tell us about when he nobbed a couple girls at the same time and not just a story about eating with them. I've got loads of stories about eating meals in groups if that's what people want to hear!

[PhilippineSaint]

Spud as Tokes has said on some other thread if you have to explain everything it spoils the imagination.

 

As it happens I was laid out on the bed and the two young fillies got on with it as they should do. When they had messed up my face and cock with their juices that was good enough for me the load was going. probably ended on a belly button or the sideboard.

[Bearsy]

To the story at hand or not as it turned out.

 

It all begins with an Emirates flight to Dubai with an upgrade to Business (ala DP) where the Vodka and Tonic, wine, and Port are free flowing for 9 hours. Hot little Hosties at you beck and call ready to do anything apart from join the mile high club.

 

On arrival in Dubai entry to the Business Lounge where even more free alcohol is on tap whilst waiting for the next flight to Luanda. Which is another 7and Half hours of being waited upon hand and foot by cute little Asians and Africans (as were now on that leg). Obviously with the amount of alcohol consumed inhibitions are root squared so no compulsion about asking any of the tasty tarts back to the hotel on arrival in Luanda.

 

Here is where it falls apart as the Emirates girls are all staying in a different part of town.

 

As per normal lone business man into the hotel bar for an early evening livener before jet lag and alcohol kick in for 6 hours kip.

 

Sat in the lounge on my tod with Super Bock beer the Maitre de asks would I like some company and promptly from the bar brings out menu No 2 which as it happens had no food in it apart from some extremely raw beef and like the menus in Portuguese holiday areas menu is all in pictures and some pretty tasty items on offer.

 

Glancing through the menu and after advice from the waiter decide to order a main meal and dessert at the same time as a discount will entail. The Waiter then retires with my order.

 

20 minutes later after another aperitif The main meal arrives along with her friend who will become dessert. another round of drinks is ordered before we decide it would better to have room service. Where we could all be rather more comfortable in air conditioned bedroom than the heat being generated in the bar.

 

A very nice meal was had by all and it appears we all finished at the same time allowing me to get a few hours kip before the arduous trek to work in the morning.

 

Thanks for lols story philipine!

[PhilippineSaint]

Thanks for lols story philipine!

 

My pleasure Bearsy and it was

[Bearsy]

my main squeeze likes to be slapped about a bit. I ain't sure how i feel bout this. She likes to be slap in face and she likes to be strangle and she is also up for punch in face tho i ain't done that yet. She actually gets in mood if i don't rough her up when boning.

 

i can't decide if i am more gentleman if i punch her in face, or if i refuse to punch her in face. I am also worried bout escalations. Have you had these situations and where does it end? i don't want to go emergency room after boning, i prefer to have snack and watch tv.

[Tokyo-Saint]

I have a story about this bear but am just about to watch a movie. It involves one of my mates, a shy quiet Japanese girl and a near attempted murder charge. Will fill in the gaps tomorrow.

[Bearsy]

ur watching movie bout ur mates? i dunno i would watch movies bout my mates, i hear enough bout the dumb lives of my mates in our day to day dealings.

[Tokyo-Saint]

It involves bumming.

[KelvinsRightGlove]

my main squeeze likes to be slapped about a bit. I ain't sure how i feel bout this. She likes to be slap in face and she likes to be strangle and she is also up for punch in face tho i ain't done that yet. She actually gets in mood if i don't rough her up when boning.

 

i can't decide if i am more gentleman if i punch her in face, or if i refuse to punch her in face. I am also worried bout escalations. Have you had these situations and where does it end? i don't want to go emergency room after boning, i prefer to have snack and watch tv.

 

Be a (gentle)man and punch her in the face, she likes it.

 

How many chances are you going to get to punch a bird in the face, at her request?

 

Just pretend she is one of them dumb b!tches you have boned and then wanted to punch in the face but would have pulled the old "that's abuse" card.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Ok, got a bit more time so here is my story/advice on the 'women that are into violent boning' situation. This story is set in Japan and involves 2 of my mates, let's change their names to protect the innocent. Friend 1 - let's call him Mr x has a girlfriend (Japanese) that is really into the violent side of boning. Friend 2 is the guy I went travelling with and ended up living with in Japan, let's call him saints web forum lurker mathos t or 'eoJ' for short. Over a few drinks he (Mr X) is telling us all about what they get up to and what she is into. We listen with interest as he explains all about their rough sex, hair pulling, throwing her about and eventually when close to the vinegar stroke, strangling her to the point of near suffocation. Mr. X's bird apparently loves to be suffocated and this is something she quite often insists on during their boning sessions. Me and eoJ are loving these stories as they are not only funny but are good for a semi and are also educational - I had never heard of this before and thought rapists just made that sh!t up to try and get away with stuff.

 

Anyway, one Sunday a few weeks later we all went out for a few drinks, a few mates and their birds, nothing special, a meal and a bit of karaoke - usual Japanese stuff. It is all pretty quiet and at the end of the night we headed home. At the time I was living with eoJ, and another mate and we all took our birds home. now his bird was a very nice girl. She was quiet, cute and very Japanese. They hadn't been together long so he was pretty pleased to drag her back to his sex dungeon. Everyone headed off to bed until about 20 minutes later and there was chaos. This girl was knocking on my door (mid bone for me), crying her eyes out and insisting to speak to my girlfriend. She was speaking in Japanese pretty quickly but some key words I could make out were - 1) suffocation 2) Pervert 3) Violence 4) Call the Police 5) Call my family.

 

After some investigation, what had happened is that my mate was so impressed with Mr. X's stories he thought he would try out a few moves with his new bird. He decided that as this was a new relationship and she appeared quite an innocent girl that rather than speak to her about trying out the violence stuff, he would just introduce it to the foreplay and see how it went. He said that things were going ok and although she didn't seem to enjoy the hair pulling, she also did not object. Things really started to go wrong when the boning commenced fully, he (no doubt violently) turned her over and started to bone her doggy style. This is the first time they had done doggy style (maybe even the first or second time they had boned) and the girl was no doubt surprised to feel is hands grab her firmly from behind by the neck and start to squeeze the life out of her. eoJ was enjoying the boning too much to see her desperately trying to reach for the mace and panic alarm. Everything was OK in the end though, we were able to calm her down, explain the situation and order her a taxi home. Strangely we did not see her much after that. All I know is my girlfriend said she did not want to date foreign guys again.

 

Anyway bear, hope this helped and good luck.

[ericofarabia]

I would like to point out that, at no time have I been to Japan and am not the above mentioned EoJ.

 

Tks EoA.

[dubai_phil]

I would like to point out that, at no time have I been to Japan and am not the above mentioned EoJ.

 

Tks EoA.

 

Very true.

 

But your missus enjoyed her trip to Sapporo

[Tokyo-Saint]

Where is bear tonight? Is he smacking his b1tch up?

[saintbletch]

Ok, got a bit more time so here is my story/advice on the 'women that are into violent boning' situation. This story is set in Japan and involves 2 of my mates, let's change their names to protect the innocent. Friend 1 - let's call him Mr x has a girlfriend (Japanese) that is really into the violent side of boning. Friend 2 is the guy I went travelling with and ended up living with in Japan, let's call him saints web forum lurker mathos t or 'eoJ' for short. Over a few drinks he (Mr X) is telling us all about what they get up to and what she is into. We listen with interest as he explains all about their rough sex, hair pulling, throwing her about and eventually when close to the vinegar stroke, strangling her to the point of near suffocation. Mr. X's bird apparently loves to be suffocated and this is something she quite often insists on during their boning sessions. Me and eoJ are loving these stories as they are not only funny but are good for a semi and are also educational - I had never heard of this before and thought rapists just made that sh!t up to try and get away with stuff.

 

Anyway, one Sunday a few weeks later we all went out for a few drinks, a few mates and their birds, nothing special, a meal and a bit of karaoke - usual Japanese stuff. It is all pretty quiet and at the end of the night we headed home. At the time I was living with eoJ, and another mate and we all took our birds home. now his bird was a very nice girl. She was quiet, cute and very Japanese. They hadn't been together long so he was pretty pleased to drag her back to his sex dungeon. Everyone headed off to bed until about 20 minutes later and there was chaos. This girl was knocking on my door (mid bone for me), crying her eyes out and insisting to speak to my girlfriend. She was speaking in Japanese pretty quickly but some key words I could make out were - 1) suffocation 2) Pervert 3) Violence 4) Call the Police 5) Call my family.

 

After some investigation, what had happened is that my mate was so impressed with Mr. X's stories he thought he would try out a few moves with his new bird. He decided that as this was a new relationship and she appeared quite an innocent girl that rather than speak to her about trying out the violence stuff, he would just introduce it to the foreplay and see how it went. He said that things were going ok and although she didn't seem to enjoy the hair pulling, she also did not object. Things really started to go wrong when the boning commenced fully, he (no doubt violently) turned her over and started to bone her doggy style. This is the first time they had done doggy style (maybe even the first or second time they had boned) and the girl was no doubt surprised to feel is hands grab her firmly from behind by the neck and start to squeeze the life out of her. eoJ was enjoying the boning too much to see her desperately trying to reach for the mace and panic alarm. Everything was OK in the end though, we were able to calm her down, explain the situation and order her a taxi home. Strangely we did not see her much after that. All I know is my girlfriend said she did not want to date foreign guys again.

 

Anyway bear, hope this helped and good luck.

 

A heart-warming tale Toke.

 

Perhaps you didn't see her much after that because she was buried in a bath of sand on EoJ's balcony?

[Tokyo-Saint]

I hate to be the one to correct your English code breaker but I think you'll find it's s'eoJ balcony.

[saintbletch]

I hate to be the one to correct your English code breaker but I think you'll find it's s'eoJ balcony.

 

I stand corrected. Moushiwake arimasen. (I note that you corrected my English, but didn't feel the need to correct my assertion that eoJ has a bath of sand on his balcony).

 

BTW, what's the dialling code for Japan?

 

And what's Japanese for Crimewatch?

 

Undousuru Toke-sama.

[Tokyo-Saint]

Sama? You are too polite bletch, I'd have been happy with a simple kun.

 

+81 is the code for Japan and if I had to guess, crimewatch would be crimuwatcho.

 

That lesson wasn't the same with hanna was it bletch?

 

 

Sorry!

[OldNick]

To the story at hand or not as it turned out.

 

It all begins with an Emirates flight to Dubai with an upgrade to Business (ala DP) where the Vodka and Tonic, wine, and Port are free flowing for 9 hours. Hot little Hosties at you beck and call ready to do anything apart from join the mile high club.

 

On arrival in Dubai entry to the Business Lounge where even more free alcohol is on tap whilst waiting for the next flight to Luanda. Which is another 7and Half hours of being waited upon hand and foot by cute little Asians and Africans (as were now on that leg). Obviously with the amount of alcohol consumed inhibitions are root squared so no compulsion about asking any of the tasty tarts back to the hotel on arrival in Luanda.

 

Here is where it falls apart as the Emirates girls are all staying in a different part of town.

 

As per normal lone business man into the hotel bar for an early evening livener before jet lag and alcohol kick in for 6 hours kip.

 

Sat in the lounge on my tod with Super Bock beer the Maitre de asks would I like some company and promptly from the bar brings out menu No 2 which as it happens had no food in it apart from some extremely raw beef and like the menus in Portuguese holiday areas menu is all in pictures and some pretty tasty items on offer.

 

Glancing through the menu and after advice from the waiter decide to order a main meal and dessert at the same time as a discount will entail. The Waiter then retires with my order.

 

20 minutes later after another aperitif The main meal arrives along with her friend who will become dessert. another round of drinks is ordered before we decide it would better to have room service. Where we could all be rather more comfortable in air conditioned bedroom than the heat being generated in the bar.

 

A very nice meal was had by all and it appears we all finished at the same time allowing me to get a few hours kip before the arduous trek to work in the morning.

if only you had thrown in a few golfing stories and it would have been more believable