Midlife Crisis

[Johnny Bognor]

It was so predictable once his boyfriend came back on.

 

Oooh ducky.

[Orange]

Yes. Ended up in prison due to being an idiot.

 

Now happier than I've ever been.

 

Didn't believe these things actually existed when I was younger, but they really do.

 

What is it you did? If you don't mind sharing that is.

[scotty]

ffs, this threads been running for days and we still havent cut to the chase. Come on Johnny, what exactly did you do then? Nail the wifes sister? Quit your job? Go on the turn? We need details man, get on with it and spill the beans.

[Johnny Bognor]

No mate, way too much to spill the beans on this forum. If I did spill the beans, it would need more space than the pompey take over thread! The server would simply not take it. I couldn't do that to you guys.

[Turkish]

At risk of sounding unsympathetic for once, is it not all a bit self indulgent? Bad things happen to everyone, everyone f*cks up or has things bad happen to them and goes through tough times. That's life. Bit of a cop out to blame it all on hitting a certain age. IMO of course as someone that is approaching the danger zone.

[Jonnyboy]

Isnt it all proportional to your commitments rather than a being a certain age - if you have kids, wife, mortgage its bound to be more stressful than if you just have girlfriend and decide you need to change everything?

[scotty]

^^^ Well, Johnnys clearly not going to tell us who he sh*gged/robbed/exposed himself to or whatever it was. I suggest we put together an swf posse, head down to bognor and beat it out of him.

[latter day saint]

^^^ Well, Johnnys clearly not going to tell us who he sh*gged/robbed/exposed himself to or whatever it was. I suggest we put together an swf posse, head down to bognor and beat it out of him.

i could ask my bro,seeing as he is standing next to him in his avatar ?

(only kidding Johnny )

[SuperMikey]

^^^ Well, Johnnys clearly not going to tell us who he sh*gged/robbed/exposed himself to or whatever it was. I suggest we put together an swf posse, head down to bognor and beat it out of him.

 

JonnyBognor, in the park, with a trenchcoat and an erection.

[norwaysaint]

Makes me laugh that delldays and turkish, who always go on at saintandy666 about being too young to comment, have both posted on this thread, despite neither being old enough to have a ****ing clue. No self-awareness or sense of irony at all.

 

[scotty]

Makes me laugh that delldays and turkish, who always go on at saintandy666 about being too young to comment, have both posted on this thread, despite neither being old enough to have a ****ing clue. No self-awareness or sense of irony at all.

 

 

Depends what you call mid-life really, doesnt it? Technically, I suppose 35'ish would be accurate, three score years and ten. I bet turks and jamie have both seen that birthday come and go.

[Thedelldays]

Depends what you call mid-life really, doesnt it? Technically, I suppose 35'ish would be accurate, three score years and ten. I bet turks and jamie have both seen that birthday come and go.

nope

31

[scotty]

nope

31

 

f*ck me, that was quick!!

 

I turned 50 last august, fwiw. ffs

Edited 4 March, 2012 by scotty

[SuperMikey]

Just so you all know, I turn 21 in December. Envy me.

[scotty]

Just so you all know, I turn 21 in December. Envy me.

 

Bastard.

[Johnny Bognor]

At risk of sounding unsympathetic for once, is it not all a bit self indulgent? Bad things happen to everyone, everyone f*cks up or has things bad happen to them and goes through tough times. That's life. Bit of a cop out to blame it all on hitting a certain age. IMO of course as someone that is approaching the danger zone.

 

Yes, I guess there is some self indulgence in all of this

 

^^^ Well, Johnnys clearly not going to tell us who he sh*gged/robbed/exposed himself to or whatever it was. I suggest we put together an swf posse, head down to bognor and beat it out of him.

 

The thing is, I did many of the mid life crisis things before I had mine. That's the problem.

 

i could ask my bro,seeing as he is standing next to him in his avatar ?

(only kidding Johnny )

 

Say hello to him, I haven't seen much of him this season

 

Just so you all know, I turn 21 in December. Envy me.

 

Ah, you've got it all to come. Enjoy it while you can

[Saintandy666]

Just so you all know, I turn 21 in December. Envy me.

 

I wonder who the youngest poster on here is. I raise you(or maybe lower?!). 19.

[Turkish]

Makes me laugh that delldays and turkish, who always go on at saintandy666 about being too young to comment, have both posted on this thread, despite neither being old enough to have a ****ing clue. No self-awareness or sense of irony at all.

 

 

Nice try, but i'm 35, what some might consider in the danger zone and much older than Pap was when he had his early midlife crisis. If i was giving someone advice on how to handle a midlife crisis and then telling everyone they are wrong that doesn't agree with my zero experience of mid life crisises you might have a point.

 

Jokes on you fella. Still dont let that get away of the chance to have yet another pointless pop at us. Toot Toot, Keep on trucking.

 

:lol:

Edited 5 March, 2012 by Turkish

[scotty]

Oddly enough, I just heard a trail for start the week on R4 at 9am. Theres a piece about the midlife crisis on it if JB is interested.......

[keithd]

At first i denied it was a "mid life crisis" as crisis seems a bit strong, but at the age of 36 i decided i wanted to learn to ride a motorbike so did that and bought a fast (ish) one. Sold it last year as I did 145 miles between MOT's and figured it was taking up room and money so sold it and bought a laptop and tv and holiday to morocco. hardly crisis, hardly life changing (suppose it could have killed me, about as life changing as an event can be i guess) but thats my awesome contribution to the fred

[ringwood]

got to 45 split with the missus, been out had fun, several g'fs later, still see the kids, but bought the motorbike , bought the sports car,

50 at next birthday and happy with single life, can't see me settling back to the domestic humdrum when I can plan whatever I want to do and change it as and when I please.

[Pancake]

ffs, this threads been running for days and we still havent cut to the chase. Come on Johnny, what exactly did you do then? Nail the wifes sister? Quit your job? Go on the turn? We need details man, get on with it and spill the beans.

 

Interesting.

 

^^^ Well, Johnnys clearly not going to tell us who he sh*gged/robbed/exposed himself to or whatever it was. I suggest we put together an swf posse, head down to bognor and beat it out of him.

 

Indeed, guess its must be bad. i mean, if he was knobbing that fit blonde from accounts, he would tell the world.

 

i could ask my bro,seeing as he is standing next to him in his avatar ?

(only kidding Johnny )

 

Ah ha!

 

Say hello to him, I haven't seen much of him this season

 

Love lorn.

 

1+1+1+1=4

 

QED.

[Spudders]

Interesting thread this for me, I was going to start a similar thread a week or so ago, but with a slightly different angle, as I was going to ask about stuff that you miss in your life (that you did when you were younger) as you get older. I hadn’t really thought of it as a ‘midlife crisis’ however on reflection maybe the two subject aren’t so far apart!

 

I’m late 30’s & increasingly feeling a little bitter about getting older & not being able to enjoy myself in the same way as when I was younger.

 

This comment from Jonnyboy I thought was interesting, as you are assuming a midlife crisis is connected to stress when that’s not always the case is it.

Isnt it all proportional to your commitments rather than a being a certain age - if you have kids, wife, mortgage its bound to be more stressful than if you just have girlfriend and decide you need to change everything?

I have a good well paid job, rent a beachside flat, a nice car & group of friends I can trust, in fact in some respects for me life is the best it has ever been & I would never complain about things for me at the moment. But that doesn’t stop me reflecting on what lifes all about, or what could have been if things had gone differently. I’ve lived with girls previously, split up, moved on.

 

So here I am heading towards 40, still single, watching all my mates bring up their children. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I want kids or to meet someone, get married etc, far from it, I’ve gone past that now.

 

None of my mates have the time to do stuff, nor do they have the money, socially everyone I know (rightly) has different priorities now. So now instead of being invited on the raz, I’m invited to a BBQ with a dozen kids running around.

Things change, I know that, but I’m doing a fair bit of reflecting recently & wishing it was still the early 90's.

[latter day saint]

Love lorn.

 

QED.

[Patrick Bateman]

I had mine at 29 - approaching my 30th birthday. Had got fat, bought a sports car and left my wife for some stupid thing that was 8 years younger which was always destined to be a complete disaster. Had a couple of years of great single-time, now happily married with a fantastic lady, both have great jobs, a nice house and have emerged from all the experiences a different, better person.

 

Am not happy for what I did to my ex-wife, but she's moved on, I've moved on and you don't learn in life if you don't do things you really want to (try) and date/see various nut jobs along the way

[Shroppie]

I was 43 when I realised my marriage of 20 years was all wrong. Ran away with my best friend's wife. Incredibly messy - children, friend, wife and I worked together (that was fun). Took 8 years of misery, chaos, recriminations and divorces, but now happily remarried (to the friend's wife as was), totally happy backpacking the world, driving my hot hatch, eating and drinking well, playing golf and watching Saints, all with a like-minded soulmate. And yes, the kids got over it.

 

So it was a good thing.

[Turkish]

I was 43 when I realised my marriage of 20 years was all wrong. Ran away with my best friend's wife. Incredibly messy - children, friend, wife and I worked together (that was fun). Took 8 years of misery, chaos, recriminations and divorces, but now happily remarried (to the friend's wife as was), totally happy backpacking the world, driving my hot hatch, eating and drinking well, playing golf and watching Saints, all with a like-minded soulmate. And yes, the kids got over it.

 

So it was a good thing.

 

Not for your best mate it wasn't. F*cked over by two of the people he thought he could trust the most.

[Ohio Saint]

I ran away from home and ended up in Ohio. It wasn't so much of a crisis, as an attack of good sense.

[hypochondriac]

Reading this leaves me thoroughly depressed. Is there no one who has just remained faithful to who they have and stayed with their children in a loving and stable long term relationship? Or is that too much to ask in this day and age?

[Shroppie]

Not for your best mate it wasn't. F*cked over by two of the people he thought he could trust the most.

 

Point taken and accepted, but you're assuming his marriage was happy. He moved on with a new partner very quickly.

[dune]

I was 43 when I realised my marriage of 20 years was all wrong. Ran away with my best friend's wife. Incredibly messy - children, friend, wife and I worked together (that was fun). Took 8 years of misery, chaos, recriminations and divorces, but now happily remarried (to the friend's wife as was), totally happy backpacking the world, driving my hot hatch, eating and drinking well, playing golf and watching Saints, all with a like-minded soulmate. And yes, the kids got over it.

 

So it was a good thing.

 

You both deserve each other.

[Raging Bull]

Reading this leaves me thoroughly depressed. Is there no one who has just remained faithful to who they have and stayed with their children in a loving and stable long term relationship? Or is that too much to ask in this day and age?

 

It sometimes appears so doesn't it, which is rather worrying considering I have offspring and am planning a wedding

 

Oh and shroppie you definatly ain't invited!

 

Not that she would even consider you cos I'm fecking perfect!

Edited 5 March, 2012 by Raging Bull

[buctootim]

Reading this leaves me thoroughly depressed. Is there no one who has just remained faithful to who they have and stayed with their children in a loving and stable long term relationship? Or is that too much to ask in this day and age?

 

Something like 60% of marriages do last the distance - its easy to overlook look that with all the focus on messy breakups. I always swore I would never have children unless I was in a rock solid relationship that I was a sure as I could be that it would last the distance. Ended up with a flake who lied about about contraception in order to get pregnant then bailed when she realised that kids actually meant some effort and giving up stuff. Still my two kids are happy, Im happy and she's still floundering around. Never can tell how things pan out.

[Spudders]

Reading this leaves me thoroughly depressed. Is there no one who has just remained faithful to who they have and stayed with their children in a loving and stable long term relationship? Or is that too much to ask in this day and age?

 

Assume they are less likely to view or wish to contribute to a thread about mid life Crisis's's's's

[Ohio Saint]

Reading this leaves me thoroughly depressed. Is there no one who has just remained faithful to who they have and stayed with their children in a loving and stable long term relationship? Or is that too much to ask in this day and age?

 

I stayed with my ex b1tch for an awful lot of unhappy years until my daughter left home, because she needed my protection. You don't get to lecture me on this.

[View From The Top]

I stayed with my wife, always will, and have 3 very happy, bright and well balanced kids.

 

Doesn't alter the fact the my "crisis" was painful for all, brought about life changing circumstances but we emerged fitter, stronger, wiser and closer for it.

 

I now live a very contented life which many would find ordinary and boring but which I find just about perfect.

[pap]

Reading this leaves me thoroughly depressed. Is there no one who has just remained faithful to who they have and stayed with their children in a loving and stable long term relationship? Or is that too much to ask in this day and age?

 

Probably.

 

Many people enter relationships with unrealistic expectations, that they'll often make worse by ascribing qualities to their partner that they hope exist, but probably don't.

 

Personally, I think chick flicks have a lot to answer for, especially those that depict a perfect couple coming together against all the odds. People think that the grass is greener on the other side.

 

If I learned anything during the 2.5 year break-up from Ms pap, it's that all women are mental. They just have different things they're mental about.

 

I'm sure they'd say very similar things about us.

[aintforever]

I don't get this mid-life crisis b@ll@x, when ever I've heard of people having one it just seems they are doing something they want to do.

 

Buy a stupid fast car, go back packing, dump your wife, shave your plumbs and punch a copper - who gives a sh!t, do what you want. The only crisis is thinking doing what you want is a crisis.

[Spudders]

I don't get this mid-life crisis b@ll@x, when ever I've heard of people having one it just seems they are doing something they want to do.

 

Buy a stupid fast car, go back packing, dump your wife, shave your plumbs and punch a copper - who gives a sh!t, do what you want. The only crisis is thinking doing what you want is a crisis.

:lol:

[Jonnyboy]

Reading this leaves me thoroughly depressed. Is there no one who has just remained faithful to who they have and stayed with their children in a loving and stable long term relationship? Or is that too much to ask in this day and age?

 

Shouldnt have dumped Natsiedoodah then.

[Turkish]

Probably.

 

Many people enter relationships with unrealistic expectations, that they'll often make worse by ascribing qualities to their partner that they hope exist, but probably don't.

 

Personally, I think chick flicks have a lot to answer for, especially those that depict a perfect couple coming together against all the odds. People think that the grass is greener on the other side.

 

If I learned anything during the 2.5 year break-up from Ms pap, it's that all women are mental. They just have different things they're mental about.

 

I'm sure they'd say very similar things about us.

 

*looks for round of applause emoticon*

[Weston Super Saint]

Reading this leaves me thoroughly depressed. Is there no one who has just remained faithful to who they have and stayed with their children in a loving and stable long term relationship? Or is that too much to ask in this day and age?

 

There's hope yet

 

I've been happily living in sin with Mrs WSS for over 12 years now!

 

We met in Blackpool when I was 26. I got the 'young, free and single' years out of the way before we met and got all that out of my system.

 

We now live a reasonably quiet life with our two kids in our own house, having recently moved back to Bristol after living above pubs for 6 years!

 

The only thing left to sort out is me getting a better - and better paid - job, that I'll actually enjoy doing. Still, this could become reality as I have a final interview on Friday

 

If all goes to plan, then life will become just about perfect.

 

Oh, and no plans for a midlife crisis and I'm more than within the crisis age range

[Patrick Bateman]

Probably.

 

Many people enter relationships with unrealistic expectations, that they'll often make worse by ascribing qualities to their partner that they hope exist, but probably don't.

 

Personally, I think chick flicks have a lot to answer for, especially those that depict a perfect couple coming together against all the odds. People think that the grass is greener on the other side.

 

If I learned anything during the 2.5 year break-up from Ms pap, it's that all women are mental. They just have different things they're mental about.

 

I'm sure they'd say very similar things about us.

 

Totally agree with this!

[Window Cleaner]

Reading this leaves me thoroughly depressed. Is there no one who has just remained faithful to who they have and stayed with their children in a loving and stable long term relationship? Or is that too much to ask in this day and age?

 

well there's me, still with the wife after 26 years,no particular problems to report. Then again we got married when I was 32 and she was 30.I guess we'd both knocked about a fair bit before and didn't have any particular illusions or expectations.Plus at that age you've sometimes got some decent salaries and a bit put aside,even if you haven't been particulary thrifty or wise with money.Having sufficient income and resources has allowed us to put the kids through their studies with no loans or any particular friction,also I believe i've read somewhere that money problems destroy many more marriages than you'd think.

[Ohio Saint]

You really do have to reach mid life before you can judge others. In my own case, my "Mid life crisis" was actually a game plan devised when I was mid 20's.....I just didn't realise it was a plan at the time.

[Saintandy666]

Reading this leaves me thoroughly depressed. Is there no one who has just remained faithful to who they have and stayed with their children in a loving and stable long term relationship? Or is that too much to ask in this day and age?

 

Obviously I can't talk about a mid-life crisis, but out of my friends I'd say a good 1/3 to 1/2 parents are divorced. It just seems to be the way it goes these days. My parents have been married almost 30 years though.

[hypochondriac]

Obviously I can't talk about a mid-life crisis, but out of my friends I'd say a good 1/3 to 1/2 parents are divorced. It just seems to be the way it goes these days. My parents have been married almost 30 years though.

 

As have mine although a bit longer. I take relationships quite seriously and should I ever decide to marry my current girlfriend it will be with the intention of staying with her for life, midlife crisis or not. I'm just surprised the amount who have had affairs or run away from their family. It's not something I have ever contemplated and I would hope something I would never do.

[Saintandy666]

As have mine although a bit longer. I take relationships quite seriously and should I ever decide to marry my current girlfriend it will be with the intention of staying with her for life, midlife crisis or not. I'm just surprised the amount who have had affairs or run away from their family. It's not something I have ever contemplated and I would hope something I would never do.

 

Hmmm, but I guess if you are no longer happy, there is not much you can do about it after trying for a certain amount of time. No point flogging a dead horse(life is far too short for that) and people change. I think if you must go off with someone else, you should have the dignity and respect for the other person to end that relationship first. It makes it better for all persons involved, and when there are kids involved you should be extra careful. A lot of people do seem to stay together for the kids though and their marriages seem to break up soon afterwards.

[hypochondriac]

Hmmm, but I guess if you are no longer happy, there is not much you can do about it after trying for a certain amount of time. No point flogging a dead horse(life is far too short for that) and people change. I think if you must go off with someone else, you should have the dignity and respect for the other person to end that relationship first. It makes it better for all persons involved, and when there are kids involved you should be extra careful. A lot of people do seem to stay together for the kids though and their marriages seem to break up soon afterwards.

 

Yeah that is what I think as well to be honest. My dads mate has just been exposed as having a two year affair with his secretary. Has now left his wife of 35 years and said he wanted something for him. She is devastated as she never knew anything and was planning their retired life together.

 

I don't know how you can be with someone for the majority of your life, profess to love them (as he still does) and yet act in that manner towards them. It doesn't make any sense to me.

[Saintandy666]

Yeah that is what I think as well to be honest. My dads mate has just been exposed as having a two year affair with his secretary. Has now left his wife of 35 years and said he wanted something for him. She is devastated as she never knew anything and was planning their retired life together.

 

I don't know how you can be with someone for the majority of your life, profess to love them (as he still does) and yet act in that manner towards them. It doesn't make any sense to me.

 

That's pretty sad. Hardly 'heat of the moment' stuff if it happened over 2 years. In my opinion, after the first time(assuming it wasn't 'planned' as such) was the time to speak up.