alpine_saint Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 Thank god the voice of experience has turned up to give his advice and seal of approval. hehehehe
Frank's cousin Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 Especially if she has nice norks. Despite being a well established member of the wise liberal elite, and therefore find some of the posts on thsi thread purile and infantile, this provided a rare coffee on keyboard moment. :-)
Saintandy666 Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 It will matter though wont it. It effects your ability to have a normal relationship and your ability to have children. I'd say its a very significant factor. But then what do i know, i'll bow to the 19 year old relationship expert. There are other ways to get pregnant than sex these days. As I said, it depends on what is important to you. And as mentioned already mother to child transmission can be lowered to 1 or 2 percent. It is up to the person really whether they can cope and what they want from their relationship.
tony13579 Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 It will matter though wont it. It effects your ability to have a normal relationship and your ability to have children. I'd say its a very significant factor. I agree with Turkish. It is a huge game changer. It is a huge obsticle. It is as huge as couples who want to live in different countries and couples want/dont want kids. Sex isn't everything.... unless you cant have it. kids are a nightmare.... unless you cant have them These things eat you up. For that reason I would avoid it.
Turkish Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 There are other ways to get pregnant than sex these days. As I said, it depends on what is important to you. And as mentioned already mother to child transmission can be lowered to 1 or 2 percent. It is up to the person really whether they can cope and what they want from their relationship. And for some people having a healthy, natural sex life is very important, as is having their own children. As for children, regardless of how low the risk is it is still a risk. How would you feel if you had a child that was born with HIV because you'd gambled that the odds of having it are low of it not having it?
notnowcato Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 How would you feel if you had a child that was born with HIV because you'd gambled that the odds of having it are low of it not having it? What about women over 40, would you suggest they shouldn't get pregnant too due to the risks involved?
Thedelldays Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 saintsandy would you fire one into a bird with the virus...?
Turkish Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 What about women over 40, would you suggest they shouldn't get pregnant too due to the risks involved? THis is nothing to do with over 40's. THis is about entering into a relationship with a woman that has HIV and the risks and considerations involved.
This Charming Man Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 saintsandy would you fire one into a bird with the virus...? Doubt he would want his first time to potentially be his last time...
Saintandy666 Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 And for some people having a healthy, natural sex life is very important, as is having their own children. As for children, regardless of how low the risk is it is still a risk. How would you feel if you had a child that was born with HIV because you'd gambled that the odds of having it are low of it not having it? It would be an awful awful situation and hopefully one I don't ever have to face and I don't wish it on anyone. But at the same time I don't see why a woman who was raped and subsequently infected with HIV should have to live a life of separation. If the two people love each other, they can find a way for it to work. If they decide they want children, they can obviously IVF and take the risk, but if that is not for them, and I understand why it wouldn't be for reasons you have expressed... of course there is adoption too, but that's getting ahead of ourselves(there is interesting research into surrogacy with screening for HIV+ people as well, but anyways) The overall message I am trying to get across here is that it is up to them whether they feel comfortable with it. It doesn't have to be a problem, unprotected sex isn't the be all and end all of a relationship. If they feel comfortable and happy with it, then they should go for it.
Channon's Sideburns Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 This may come across a bit blunt, but I'd rather die happy with someone I loved rather than spend a lifetime with someone I loathed. If it happens, it happens. You could also get hit by a bus, or some old duffer in an automatic. Live your life - if she makes you happy, go for it. Life's too short to p1ss about.
Thedelldays Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 saintsandy would you fire one into a bird with the virus...? andy.....young andy...??
Saintandy666 Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 I deliberately didn't answer you, TDD.
Scummer Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 If they decide they want children, they can obviously IVF and take the risk. Why would they need to go down the IVF route? Surely if they want children they can just have sex?
Thedelldays Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 I deliberately didn't answer you, TDD. yes or no....serious question...see if you are happy to practice what you preach..?
Saintandy666 Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 Why would they need to go down the IVF route? Surely if they want children they can just have sex? They can not really have unprotected sex though, can they?
Saintandy666 Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 (edited) yes or no....serious question...see if you are happy to practice what you preach..? I hope I am never in that situation, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. If it were that I would end up in a similar situation, I would hope to go with the sentiments I expressed along with others already. Of course, no-one really knows how they will react in situations until you are in one. I would hope I would be better than to react as some have on this thread to what is a terrible illness. Edit: and I don't like the phrasing of your original question at all Edited 28 February, 2012 by Saintandy666
Dog Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 I get along really well with a rather lovely young girl who was raped many years ago and contracted HIV. She's been really open and honest about it and I know the risk of female-male infection if you use protection is near nil but I'd like to hear your thoughts on the matter? Anyone with any experience in this sort of thing or medical practitioners on here to reassure me? Serious question: Did she get the AIDS from being raped or did she already have it before she was raped, and did the rapist get the AIDS?
Scummer Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 They can not really have unprotected sex though, can they? Why not? You said yourself there's only a 0.05% chance of a man getting HIV from a woman through having sex. Much lower odds than a mother giving it to her child which you seem to be suggesting is an acceptable level of risk?
Saintandy666 Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 Why not? You said yourself there's only a 0.05% chance of a man getting HIV from a woman through having sex. Much lower odds than a mother giving it to her child which you seem to be suggesting is an acceptable level of risk? I never said it was an acceptable level of risk. That is up to the parents. With new IVF coming through, if you read my post, I mentioned the new research... they can screen sperm, so if it is the man who has it, the chance of transmission is 0. Obviously, with mother to child, that isn't much hope, but as I said again interesting research in surrogacy stuff as well. Hopefully, soon they will find a cure too. Again, it is not the be all and end all, at the end of the day it is up to the OP to consider what is important to him and how much he loves the girl. But the risk is up to the two individuals. I would not have unprotected sex with someone who has any STI.
Turkish Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 I never said it was an acceptable level of risk. That is up to the parents. With new IVF coming through, if you read my post, I mentioned the new research... they can screen sperm, so if it is the man who has it, the chance of transmission is 0. Obviously, with mother to child, that isn't much hope, but as I said again interesting research in surrogacy stuff as well. Hopefully, soon they will find a cure too. Again, it is not the be all and end all, at the end of the day it is up to the OP to consider what is important to him and how much he loves the girl. But the risk is up to the two individuals. I would not have unprotected sex with someone who has any STI. It's very idealistic romantic film nonsense you spout. love will concour all etc. one day you'll realise that there is more to a relationship than that as well.
notnowcato Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 THis is nothing to do with over 40's. THis is about entering into a relationship with a woman that has HIV and the risks and considerations involved. You asked "How would you feel if you had a child that was born with HIV because you'd gambled that the odds of having it are low of it not having it?" Women over 40 having children are doing so at significant more risk to the unborn child than a women in her 20's - I'm not telling you anything you dont already know. I think that the comparison is clear and obvious. So, seeing as I've drawn you the picture maybe you could answer the question?
hypochondriac Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 I hope I am never in that situation, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. If it were that I would end up in a similar situation, I would hope to go with the sentiments I expressed along with others already. Of course, no-one really knows how they will react in situations until you are in one. I would hope I would be better than to react as some have on this thread to what is a terrible illness. Edit: and I don't like the phrasing of your original question at all Your edit at the bottom just made me laugh out loud for one of the first times ever on here. Good job.
sotonswan Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 It's very idealistic romantic film nonsense you spout. love will concour all etc. one day you'll realise that there is more to a relationship than that as well. His posts didn't strike me as romantic film nonsense. All he said was you need to be aware of the risks/complications and decide if there is enough upside to compensate for the downside - and that this is an individual choice. I don't think he was telling you how to live your life. Quite a few respondents on this thread would drop the HIV+ woman in an instant. She is probably well aware of this. She cannot change the world and the people in it. I'm making a wild guess here, but as the word 'date' appears in the thread title I assume the 'relationship' is relatively new. I'm guessing she has adopted a strategy of early revelation before she invests too much emotionally, although she's reached a point where she wants to have a stop/go decision either way. Better to have regular small disappointments than massive ones (for both) later on perhaps? Turkish, you appear to have some previous with Saintandy666 and are bringing that to this thread. Just an observation.
Jonnyboy Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 Your edit at the bottom just made me laugh out loud for one of the first times ever on here. Good job. ever??
Turkish Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 (edited) You asked "How would you feel if you had a child that was born with HIV because you'd gambled that the odds of having it are low of it not having it?" Women over 40 having children are doing so at significant more risk to the unborn child than a women in her 20's - I'm not telling you anything you dont already know. I think that the comparison is clear and obvious. So, seeing as I've drawn you the picture maybe you could answer the question? Ahh my stalker returns to form. I really dont see what 40+ women has to do with this. Do you think it's right for someone with HIV to knowingly risk transmitting the disease to their child? According to the NHS if you aren't being treated there is a 25% chance of infection. Edited 28 February, 2012 by Turkish
latter day saint Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 ever?? are you really that surprised ?
Jonnyboy Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 are you really that surprised ? It's not like it was even funny.
notnowcato Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 Ahh my stalker returns to form. I really dont see what 40+ women has to do with this. Do you think it's right for someone with HIV to knowingly risk transmitting the disease to their child? According to the NHS if you aren't being treated there is a 25% chance of infection. Stop flattering yourself sweetheart and the answer a straight forward question.
hypochondriac Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 are you really that surprised ? It was the dell days original jokey comment coupled with Andy's predictably serious reply. Yes I hardly ever laugh out loud reading this forum.
Essruu Posted 28 February, 2012 Posted 28 February, 2012 unprotected sex isn't the be all and end all of a relationship. If they feel comfortable and happy with it, then they should go for it. You have a lot to learn, young Andy. The first time you have sex, you will probably wear a condom as you probably want to be seen to be a little gent. If she (or he, depending upon your persuasion) agrees to let you do her more than once and start a proper adult relationship, then you'll soon want to ditch the johnnies every time you mount her. After the first few times, the last thing you want to be doing is accepting that for each proper session for the rest of your life, you'll have to be using 4 or 5 rubbers as you go from fanny to āss to mouth to fanny and a bit of non-rubber wānking in between. You have a lot to learn lad.
Deano6 Posted 29 February, 2012 Posted 29 February, 2012 I wouldn't, no. Sorry ladies. And those of you who think that sex isn't important in a relationship are kidding yourself or never been in one.
Saintandy666 Posted 29 February, 2012 Posted 29 February, 2012 I wouldn't, no. Sorry ladies. And those of you who think that sex isn't important in a relationship are kidding yourself or never been in one. In my relationship, it's just one aspect. It is not the be all and end all though. As I have said, it's up to the 2 people to weigh up what they want. At worst, you can give it a try at least or you will never know if it would work or not.
hypochondriac Posted 29 February, 2012 Posted 29 February, 2012 In my relationship, it's just one aspect. It is not the be all and end all though. As I have said, it's up to the 2 people to weigh up what they want. At worst, you can give it a try at least or you will never know if it would work or not. If you weren't getting any you would change your tune.
Essruu Posted 29 February, 2012 Posted 29 February, 2012 As I have said, it's up to the 2 people to weigh up what they want. At worst, you can give it a try at least or you will never know if it would work or not. "give it a try" LOL. "I know, I think I'll dabble with a bit of AIDS today."
Smirking_Saint Posted 29 February, 2012 Posted 29 February, 2012 Lol Then Ill tongue someone with TB and toss off a leper
Thedelldays Posted 29 February, 2012 Posted 29 February, 2012 "give it a try" LOL. "I know, I think I'll dabble with a bit of AIDS today."
Saintandy666 Posted 29 February, 2012 Posted 29 February, 2012 "give it a try" LOL. "I know, I think I'll dabble with a bit of AIDS today." Because that is what I meant. I think I give up.
This Charming Man Posted 29 February, 2012 Posted 29 February, 2012 Because that is what I meant. I think I give up. I think you should. This thread has not gone well for you.
Barry the Badger Posted 29 February, 2012 Posted 29 February, 2012 Everything Andy has said on this thread is entirely sensible. I would not let this put me off a relationship if I really liked the person and was prepared to accept the limitations their condition might place on our relationship.
sotonjoe Posted 29 February, 2012 Posted 29 February, 2012 The OP does know you can't contract HIV by going to the cinema with someone right? *confused*
Smirking_Saint Posted 29 February, 2012 Posted 29 February, 2012 I do like Andy666 such massive life experience, he is like a gay yoda
Essruu Posted 1 March, 2012 Posted 1 March, 2012 The OP does know you can't contract HIV by going to the cinema with someone right? *confused* Don't be so insensitive. She could've been raped in a cinema.
alpine_saint Posted 1 March, 2012 Posted 1 March, 2012 I do like Andy666 such massive life experience, he is like a gay yoda coffee over keyboard moment.
tony13579 Posted 1 March, 2012 Posted 1 March, 2012 Another issue is that many relationships appear serious at first. But 6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years down the line they end How many of your ex's can you remember?
This Charming Man Posted 1 March, 2012 Posted 1 March, 2012 Another issue is that many relationships appear serious at first. But 6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years down the line they end How many of your ex's can you remember? He'll remember this one for ever when he's popping those tablets, every day for the rest of his life...
Special K Posted 1 March, 2012 Posted 1 March, 2012 Another issue is that many relationships appear serious at first. But 6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years down the line they end How many of your ex's can you remember? All 2,000 of them.
Essruu Posted 1 March, 2012 Posted 1 March, 2012 Another issue is that many relationships appear serious at first. But 6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years down the line they end How many of your ex's can you remember? Also, having an HIV+ ex on your CV isn't terribly appealing when you're looking for your next piece of skirt. Saying "Yeah, she had HIV+, but it wasn't full blown AIDS." and "It's ok, I always used a condom when ****ging her HIV+ infected *****." probably isn't going to have the chicks flocking.
Thedelldays Posted 1 March, 2012 Posted 1 March, 2012 He'll remember this one for ever when he's popping those tablets, every day for the rest of his life... all worth a "try" though....just like a glass of sailor jerrys...you never know if you like it till you try a bit
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