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Posted

Community Chest - You open an offshore account in your dog's name. Pocket £500k. This card doubles as a "Get Out Of Jail Free" card.

Posted
Chance - Withold 2 months worth of PAYE and NI. Go directly to High Court, do not collect parachute money or gate receipts.

 

I suppose that could be community chest as well

Posted

When you land on Liam Lawrence, pay £20,000. Roll again. Land on David Norris, pay £25,000. Roll again, land on Dave Kitson, pay £20,000. Roll again, land on Tal Ben-Haim, pay £36,000.

Posted

Community Chest - Even though you fail to pay charities and the community the money you owe them, the league have seen it fit to recommend you as "community club of the season" win £100 in laundered notes.

Posted
When you land on Liam Lawrence, pay £20,000. Roll again. Land on David Norris, pay £25,000. Roll again, land on Dave Kitson, pay £20,000. Roll again, land on Tal Ben-Haim, pay £36,000.

You land on Liam Lawrence.

Apologise, say you hope nothing's broken, offer to have a mate who nearly became a doctor look at it free of charge.

Posted

Two of your former "youth" players that you sold last year are both nominated for Division 2 player of the year. Collect £0 and pay Ben Haim, Kitson and Lawrence another £76,000 between them.

Posted

Chance - Caravan Tax. You are charged £200 for every caravan on Portsea Island. All tax payments are regarded as optional.

Posted

Throw the dice. Where ever you land, completely ignore the seriousness of your situation and ask the person to your left what the situation is regarding buying a player. If you've thrown a number greater than 1, ask all other persons playing whether they have a Premier League has-been who eats squirrels (copyright RallyBoy) to loan you for free. Keep throwing, keep asking.

Posted

chance - following a bare knuckle period of consultation you've won the marketing rights to sell lucky heather and official matchday horse brass outside the ground, cram your eight children into the front seats of the untaxed transit and proceed to an illegal dog fight on an industrial estate to celebrate.

 

 

 

community chest - an old man near you has a missing roof tile, help yourself to £30,000 from his account.

 

 

 

general note - ignore the rules and other players, just put your little hat on whatever square you fancy.

Posted

You land on the water company, turn the sprinklers on the pitch and ensure that the pitch is frozen by the overnight sub-zero temperatures. Call off the game the following day just early enough that your staff don't have to turn up so you don't pay them but late enough that the away fans are already half way through their journey. Absolve yourself of all blame in the press conference - 'Not our fault guv'

Posted
land on a Station.

 

can't afford the fares. Return to home.

 

or land on a station

can't afford the fare, walk outside to find the transit has been wheel-clamped as you didn't pay for the car park. Take a fine of £100 for release or deduct 3 points for failure to fulfill that away fixture

 

Another community chest card - on the day of a home game, you find 10 gypsy families living in caravans in the stadium car park - your attendance is increased by 10% and you collect £1000 from lucky heather sales in the club shop

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