Are computers male or female?

[bridge too far]

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

 

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'

'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

 

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

 

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether 'computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

 

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

 

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

 

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers

is incomprehensible to everyone else;

 

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

 

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

 

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

 

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

 

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

 

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

 

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

 

The women won.

[Draino76]

I thought it was 'el ordenador'?

[Baj]

In French, beard and moustache are expressed in the feminine... FACT

[bridge too far]

I thought it was 'el ordenador'?

 

Dunno - I don't speak Spanish (apart from the basics like coffee and beer). This came from my Spanish friend.

 

:smt102

[bridge too far]

In French, beard and moustache are expressed in the feminine... FACT

 

So men with beards and moustaches are, in fact, female?

 

Is that what you're saying?

[Weston Super Saint]

They've got clever kids in Spain.

[Baj]

So men with beards and moustaches are, in fact, female?

 

Is that what you're saying?

 

Yup, Il a une barbe

which makes me a lady

[Weston Super Saint]

Yup, Il a une barbe

which makes me a lady

 

Little Britain have been doing that for a number of years.

[Ponty]

So men with beards and moustaches are, in fact, female?

 

Is that what you're saying?

It's not because they make you a woman, it's because they make you look like a c**t. Gender defining, see?

[Ash]

Does the teacher make the students decide for themselves the sex of every noun? Surely the children will grow up with distorted versions of the Spanish language.

This sounds like a made up story.

[bridge too far]

Does the teacher make the students decide for themselves the sex of every noun? Surely the children will grow up with distorted versions of the Spanish language.

This sounds like a made up story.

 

Nooooo!

 

Really?

 

You think?

[Hatch]

I would sack the teacher for encouraging sexism.

 

I have complained to El Offcom

[bridge too far]

I would sack the teacher for encouraging sexism.

 

I have complained to El Offcom

 

Did you read El Diario Correo too?

[Hatch]

Did you read El Diario Correo too?

 

Tried to subscribe , but they wouldnt let me as I'm a non-Spanish speaker.

 

'can't come over here and take all our papers' they said.

[bridge too far]

Tried to subscribe , but they wouldnt let me as I'm a non-Spanish speaker.

 

'can't come over here and take all our papers' they said.

 

Did they also say 'cos you lot have already come over here and taken all our houses but haven't bothered to learn our language?'

[Guest Dark Sotonic Mills]

Did they also say 'cos you lot have already come over here and taken all our houses but haven't bothered to learn our language?'

 

Rubbish, I speak it like a native.

 

"One-o beer-o John-o" Easy...

[bridge too far]

Rubbish, I speak it like a native.

 

"One-o beer-o John-o" Easy...

 

I think that should read SHOUT it like a native

[Guest Dark Sotonic Mills]

I think that should read SHOUT it like a native

 

True, an Englishman can converse in any language he desires just by upping the volume to a level akin to being ten feet from a 747 engine.

[JohnnyFartPants]

In French, beard and moustache are expressed in the feminine... FACT

 

Are they doing this as they recognise cu nt hair as a beard or what?

[OldNick]

until my computer cooks , irons , and does the washing it is a male.

[bridge too far]

Until my computer gardens, decorates, restrains from farting and ****** scratching, takes things upstairs that need taking upstairs, and puts the bog seat down it is, without a doubt, female.

[JohnnyFartPants]

Until my computer gardens, decorates, restrains from farting and ****** scratching, takes things upstairs that need taking upstairs, and puts the bog seat down it is, without a doubt, female.

 

I have said this before and will say it again. Loo seat up or loo seat down is both an incorrect way to leave a toilet, for two reasons. Firstly, there are as many people of both sexes on the planet, so there is no "proper" position to leave the toilet in, in regards to readiness for the next user. You sit, we stand, get over it!! Secondly, and far more importantly, the proper way to leave a toilet is to put the lid down, thus hiding the toilet bowl from view.

[Arizona]

until my computer gardens, decorates, restrains from farting and ****** scratching, takes things upstairs that need taking upstairs, and puts the bog seat down it is, without a doubt, female.

.

 

[Jillyanne]

Until my computer gardens, decorates, restrains from farting and ****** scratching, takes things upstairs that need taking upstairs, and puts the bog seat down it is, without a doubt, female.

 

Does this post make sense :confused:

[bridge too far]

Does this post make sense :confused:

 

Of course it doesnt - any more than NickH's did.

 

[Scudamore]

I have said this before and will say it again. Loo seat up or loo seat down is both an incorrect way to leave a toilet, for two reasons. Firstly, there are as many people of both sexes on the planet, so there is no "proper" position to leave the toilet in, in regards to readiness for the next user. You sit, we stand, get over it!! Secondly, and far more importantly, the proper way to leave a toilet is to put the lid down, thus hiding the toilet bowl from view.

 

So true.

 

Although i did go round a mates house the other day and he mentioned shutting lid as it let out bad energy...which surprised me as i go out of my way to not hang around with hippies or people with hippy tendencies...

 

F::cking hippies...

[JohnnyFartPants]

So true.

 

Although i did go round a mates house the other day and he mentioned shutting lid as it let out bad energy...which surprised me as i go out of my way to not hang around with hippies or people with hippy tendencies...

 

F::cking hippies...

 

He sounds odd. Kill him ASAP.

[Saint Martini]

I have said this before and will say it again. Loo seat up or loo seat down is both an incorrect way to leave a toilet, for two reasons. Firstly, there are as many people of both sexes on the planet, so there is no "proper" position to leave the toilet in, in regards to readiness for the next user. You sit, we stand, get over it!! Secondly, and far more importantly, the proper way to leave a toilet is to put the lid down, thus hiding the toilet bowl from view.

 

I agree with your last sentence but the rest of the argument is flawed because men have to sit down on toilets as well when they are taking a **** so the most likely way the toilet will be used after you are done is sitting down (assuming men & women go to the toilet the same amount of times). So if the choice is seat up or seat down it should be seat down.

 

This doesn't mean I actually do this.

[bungle]

I have said this before and will say it again. Loo seat up or loo seat down is both an incorrect way to leave a toilet, for two reasons. Firstly, there are as many people of both sexes on the planet, so there is no "proper" position to leave the toilet in, in regards to readiness for the next user. You sit, we stand, get over it!! Secondly, and far more importantly, the proper way to leave a toilet is to put the lid down, thus hiding the toilet bowl from view.

 

Yet another thing we agree on. El spooky.

[JohnnyFartPants]

I agree with your last sentence but the rest of the argument is flawed because men have to sit down on toilets as well when they are taking a **** so the most likely way the toilet will be used after you are done is sitting down (assuming men & women go to the toilet the same amount of times). So if the choice is seat up or seat down it should be seat down.

 

This doesn't mean I actually do this.

 

Your argument is also flawed as a lot of women when using a toilet that is not theirs will "hover" thus not requiring the seat at all. When you factor that in then it figures that the moany split arses can just get a ****ing grip on life and learn to just use the ****ing hinge mechanism on the bastard toilet. Stupid ******s.

[Ash]

Nooooo!

Really?

You think?

Not really, silly.

Until my computer gardens, decorates, restrains from farting and ****** scratching, takes things upstairs that need taking upstairs, and puts the bog seat down it is, without a doubt, female.

You think?

[bridge too far]

Not really, silly.

 

You think?

 

Not really, silly.